Thursday, March 23, 2006

I feel pretty, oh so pretty. . .


So I have been having a rough go of it the past week and a half I'd say. Stupid Female Self-Esteem Issues. Ain't it funny how your period always seems to show up at the most opportune time?

My mood went further downhill when my boyfriend left for a business trip...

I walked back into the house after waving him goodbye from the stoop, looked around and felt. . . sad. Even the cats looked upset. So I said to them "Don't worry, Daddy will be back soon." and clicked the TV on. That night I was so bloody restless. I hardly slept and then called in sick the next day. The whole day (when I wasnt sleeping) I felt so bored and unhappy. I even did a little work to keep my mind occupied. I canceled dinner with a friend cuz I felt just so incredibly shitty. The next day I went to work, not getting much sleep that previous night either and was still feeling like crap. But hey, sometimes you gotta suck it up and plow through it
(or whatever?).

I was trying very hard to figure out what the f...udge was wrong with me. I kept seeing depression every where I looked--Magazines, TV ads, etc. So I thought "well maybe I'm depressed?" and then I thought "don't be stupid, this ain't that serious." Whatever it was I was knee-deep in it. Though I didn't cry much, which is odd for me. I am superEmotionalCryIfIWantToGirl *flex*.

Yesterday I started to feel better and I took the time to iron my clothes (instead of the usual, picking whatever doesn't need ironing) AND I waxed my uni-brow and man lip. Good stuff. It's amazing what that can do for a girl cuz today I feel much much better.

Guess who flew back late last night and is home. Coincidence? I really hope so.

I do NOT, I repeat DO NOT want to be one of those girls that cannot survive when her man is gone. I refuse to be that dependent on someone. I realize that I am dependent on my boyfriend, but good lord not THAT much (I hope). And I don't get why this trip had such an impact on me. I mean, we have lived apart--and by that I mean in a different city, different state, different country--for most of the 10 (holy sh. . . TEN?!?!) years we have been together. So WHY is this three days affecting me so hard?

Three different people (including my mother) have blamed it on my period. They were all girls. What's that about? You ladies are just adding to the whole "women can't be President" theory!

What sucks is that it is probably true.

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