Wednesday, December 20, 2006


I have one day left until I am off for Christmas and it seems as though my brain went on Holiday like last friday...

Exhibits A through whatever:

A. I keep checking my xmas list of shopping still to do (yah. I said STILL TO DO), even though I have the stupid thing burned into my brain. I still go "wait, what is left again?" and read it. for the 32098203948203498203948203948th time.

B. The other day, a co-worker asked me if I wanted anything from Panera. I looked at him blankly (im guessing) and after I had him repeat it, I said " thank you!" Honestly all I heard him say the first time was "woh woh woh woh woh?" Charlie Brown teacher style. He asked me what the look was for and I said "Oh...that was tooooootally not what I was expecting you to say" Cuz I'm quick on my feet like that. *cough*

C. I have stared at my closet every evening this week for a minimum of 10 minutes going "sooooo... what should I wear tomorrow" and I sit on my bed, cock my head to the side and swing my legs back and forth like a complete idiot and stare at my closet as if clothes will magically fly out of it and make themselves into this spectacular outfit. I end up picking the same basic shit every week, why the bewilderment?

C. This past weekend, I was on a christmas cookie mission and baked and made candy and...whew...martha stewart would be proud, let me tell you. BF and I went to the store friday night to get everything I needed. I even had a list! and my recipes just in case I needed to double-check! and turns out! I needed to! Like twice! there was even a whole recipe THAT WAS NOT EVEN ON THE DAMN LIST. how the hell? I made this big deal about making the list and then i left whole cookie recipe ingredients off? nice. and also! I went back to the store once! and sent bf back again! AN HOUR LATER!

D. Ooops I did C twice. see what I mean?

E. I had to confusion cuz in Exhibit C (the first one) I originally wrote "why the perplexion" and its not even a friggin word as I had suspected. I then thesauresed (dont even tell me thats not a word either) "confusion" to get bewildered so I sound all smart. Only now I have revealed my secret. *sigh* dumbass.

F. I laid on my heating pad last night cuz my back huuuuuuuuuuuuurts, as I do when my... uhh... back hurts (makes sense no?) and I woke up this morning WITH.IT.STILL.ON. Weee!!! howz about a nice house fire to start the morning! Luckily nothing happened but doooode...thats not good!

G. WHAT THE HELL DAMN DAY IS IT DAMNIT. IS IT WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY?!?! Thursday! No wait! Wednesday! Wait! ...God.

H. I made Chicken Tortilla Soup Monday night for a pot-luck lunch my team was having on Tuesday. As I poured the soup into the crock pot at work Tuesday morning, I realized I FORGOT THE TORTILLA PART. woopsy.

I. The longer I think about this the more I come up with...and I dunno if I need to reveal alllllll that today.

Luckily, I am not operating heavy machinery this week. Carpool, I love you the mostest!

Friday, December 15, 2006

The one where she complains about stuff...

I's all very shocking and like new for me to be complaining *cough*

So in the middle of November, I ordered 4 new tires from to replace my dry-rotted orginal with car tires. Me, cheapass that I am, chose the shipping that was the cheapest which also had the tires backordered. They did not get shipped until just after Thanksgiving. Got the tires put on at a local garage the weekend following thanksgiving. The day the car was in the shop I received a call from the garage where they threw big manly words at me like "camber" and "caster" and "toe" to which I immediately began imagining a big foot on my car and thought "wtf?!"

Anyway, the way the dude explained it made it sound as if he did not have the tool to fix my right camber so I was going to have to pay $79 for this tool and $82 for the alignment.

to which i said "shhaaaa right!"

so I took my car home with brand new tires and a bum foot. It was when I called the dealership to figure out what the hell this mechanic was talking about that I finally understood: He needed to replace the bolt kit! It is a part! Not a tool! How hard is it to say shit like that? He kept referring to it as a "tool" and well. I dont pay for garage equipment. It's a little rule I have, call me crazy.

Last Saturday night, I drop my car off to get the camber shit fixed. I was told that it would be done by COB on sunday. cool.

Then I get a phone call mid-afternoon asking if they could have the car until tomorrow morning because the "general mechanics" do not have the experience to do this camber fix and they would like to wait until a specialized mechanic is available to work on it.

I say sure cuz I have blessed carpool and it is not my week to drive, so what's one more day?

Monday rolls around and I call when I get home from work cuz W.T.F. He then tells me that he will give me a call back after he talks to the mechanic to get an update.

He calls me back. They have NOT started working on the car but will start immediately.

I say "It will be done tonight I hope." and he says yes. He tells me to come at COB (7pm) to pick it up.

BF tells me I was rude. whatever. they have not worked on the car what kinna bullshit is that?

I call at 6:45 juuuuuuuuuuust to make sure. It isn't finished. they can't get it "to spec" and can they keep the car another day.

Outloud: Actually no, I need my car tomorrow to get to

(I had to drive myself the next day, had doctors appointments to get to)

He told me I could take the car and asked me to return it as soon as possible.

I asked him "so its ok to drive on it half aligned?!"

he says "I think so"

I say "You think? or you know"

he says "yeah yeah no its fine"

in my head: "im gonna be driving down 95 and a wheel falls off...just watch"

So I pick up the car.

Fast forward to the next morning when I am getting out of the car at work.

There is grease

I whisper a few explicatives to myself and then call later in the morning when the garage opens. Phone call went something like:

Garage: "Thanks for calling alsdkjldskfjslkfdthsodf auto care, this is Adam, How may I help you?"
Me: "Hi Adam, Listen I've got a bit of a problem, and I want to know how you are going to make it better."
Adam: chuckles. [Really? thats the first move you wanna make? Laughing at an angry customer? Excellent move.]
Me: [this is where I tell the story. I didnt feel it necessary to repeat...this shit is already long enough] "...and now there's grease on the interior AND exterior of my car."
Adam: "Well ma'am I do apologize, I do not know what is going on with the alignment and I'd like to see this grease that you are talking about. We have upholstery cleaner, so we can clean that."
me: "oookkaaay...."
Adam: "How about I give you the oil change and the alignment free of charge, does that work for you"
Me: [Jaw on floor] "Umm..Ye..Yes. That works"
Adam: "when will you be dropping the car off?"
Me: "I don't get back into the area until 430/445 so probably 5 or so"
Adam: "OK well I won't be here at 5, but I will inform the assistant manager"
Me: [begin paranoia] "Uh huh...ok"

So I begin to think about how they are gonna screw me and say that they have no idea what I am talking about and can I please fork over the $200 already and shut the hell up.

But no, that didn't happen. The dude knew exactly what I was talking about and even said "I was here on Sunday when this was supposed to be completed"

Me Inside: "Really? So why didnt you work on the shit then. god."
Me Outside: "Oh really?"
Him: "yeah I dunno why it isnt fixed"
me Inside: Me either jackass, me either.
me outside: silence.

k so that was tuesday night.

receive a call wednesday morning telling me how my battery has died and they need to replace it. Batteries normally pull 600 something and mine was pulling 11. They will not charge me for labor, just the battery.

me: "ok so what will my new total be?"
adam: "$89.00--thats the cost of the battery."
me: "oh but I thought I was paying for the bolt kit for the camber too"
adam: "No I am not charging you for that"
me: [Jaw on floor] "ok, go ahead and replace it"
adam: "i will give you a call later and let you know when your car is ready"
me: "okie dokie"

fast forward (heh) to wednesday afternoon.

Adam calls and tells me that the car starts now but wont stay on and the key fob no longer works, the door locks do not work and some other crap doesnt work. They cannot figure it out so they are gonna have my car towed to the dealership so they can fix whatever is wrong. He is going to issue me a rental car in the meantime.

Dealership tells me that my BCM is blown and needs to be replaced. That'll be $531.

Me: "I'm sorry...WHAT!"
Dealership: I see you have had this replaced before, November of 2003
Me: So the car was a little over a year old when it was replaced the first time?
Dealership: seems to be that way...
Me: So help me out here. How does a major electrical module go out in a basically new car TWICE in 4 years?
Dealership: I dunno... maybe the garage jumped the car and thats when the BCM blew
Me: yeah uh huh. Cuz thats a normal thing a garage would do. Jump a car before testing the damn battery.
Dealership: It is hard to prove...
Me: there's a shocker [yes i am being rude, this is friggin ridiculous]"

so i call corporate customer service to like complain cuz wtf!

I got a call this morning. They will replace the BCM Module, all I am responsible for is labor...$180.

Hey, thats better than $531.


What's funny is that just a few years ago I would have never fought and would have just paid and curled up in a little ball and wimpered.

Not so bad this growing up bidness.

So I called the garage just a minute ago to give them a courtesy update on what the deal is with the car. After much apologizing and kissing my ass I was informed that THE ALIGNMENT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN FINISHED.

Im expecting a call later today when they find out.


Wednesday, December 06, 2006


So guess what? I'm getting old :(

I know I know we are all doing it, shush. I get that. It is just that I am just recently noticing the lovely tell tell signs and today is the icing on the cake. And I wanna whine about it *pout* I'm not all OMG! IMA FREAK THE HELL OUT NOW cuz...well I dunno why. But lets just go with it.

The said "tell tell signs":

  1. Like a year ago, I was looking in the mirror putting my hair up. When I was done, I turned my head from side to side like I do to admire my handywork (this shit takes talent people!) and a odd piece of light color hair type looking thing was sticking straight out of the side of my head (insert *booiinnnggg* sound effect here). So I was all WTF!?! and I tugged at it and leaned forward in the mirror and squinted and then my eyes widened with the realization that HOLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIT THATS A GRAY HAIR (p.s. grey/gray?). I then proceeded to redo the updo to hide this new revelation. Didn't work. That little punk sticks out every single time. I wear my hair down lots more often now.

  2. Kids of co-workers/fellow employees are now in college. COLLEGE!?!?! Holy Shit dude, these kids were in like middle school when I first met em. My bosses son? Yah. IN THE MILITARY NOW. holy crap. I remember riding in the car with her and her two boys were sitting in the back as we skated along I-81 one winter evening. I remember thinking how intelligent they were for being so young and so well behaved. THE MILITARY people! gah.

  3. "laugh lines" or whatever the hell you want to call them have now a permanent spot on my face. No. kidding. I noticed it the other day. When I watched myself go from smile to no smile, lines about the nose and mouth were still there. awesome.

  4. My hip pops when I get in and out of BF's acura. I dunno if thats a sign of old and crickety but it sure sounds like it to me.

  5. I NOW HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES 24/7. :( I used to wear glasses for the computer to reduce the headaches and the squinting and the smooshin my nose up to the monitor. A month or two ago I started noticing that I was having to squint to see street signs. Big Ass signs, billboards, whatever were B L U R R Y all of a sudden. So then I went to optometrist in nov and lo! I got a new prescription shock of all shocks. I went to day to get the lenses cut to my current frames (cuz im a cheap ass) and I am now having some issues with these "progressive lenses" Ya. thas right. I got trifocles! No need to be slow about the degrading eyesight, full speed ahead I always say! gah.

  6. Oh yeah, I turn 30 in months. MONTHS! Full Speed Ahead! Yar! (I missed talk like a pirate day, matey.)

On a side note, these progressive lenses are really screwing with me.

and also ... Oi. :(

addition to tell tell signs:

1. I see the chiropractor at least once a week. Make no mistake though, I love every second of it. *happy sigh*
2. I'M IN A BOWLING LEAGUE -- that just sounds old don't it? I now own BOWLING SHOES.
3. I recover from hangovers veeeeeeeeeeery slowly now.
4. Going to bed at 11:00 PM is late for me--though it is a common occurrence.
5. Waking up at 8am on saturday morning is also a common occurrence. I go back to sleep though cuz well CUZ I CAN!

Seriously, I feel like im looking through a fishbowl with these glasses. Apparently blinking aides in eyesight focus, because I am finding myself blinkling LOTS this afternoon.