Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Mr. FunnyPants

I was in NOVA last week for work, and got invited to this team-outing thing at a driving range. I told BF about it on the phone...

Me: ...Yeah, and uhh, I went to a driving range a couple of years ago, I forget why now, and I couldn't hit one frickin' ball to save my life. I remember being very frustrated so this should be a hoot.

BF: Oh man, I wish I could be there to see this.

Me: Uh... why. So you can see me suck it?

BF: Yeah, I just imagine you ... well just not being good at it.

Me: Aw, thanks...

BF: I can just see it. You swinging and missing. Repeatedly.

Me: That's not nice.

BF: Well, I mean you aren't exactly athletic.

Me: ... and you are...? [Overly Defensive. I admit it]

BF: Or! Or! You swing and miss the ball and fall on your ass!

Me: ... yeah so, how was your day.

BF: If there's beer involved you gotta videotape this event.

Me: jackass.

BF: What?!? That shit is gonna be funny!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Then again...

It's hard to sit around all in pain when you've got this energy coursing through your veins. Also known as OXYGEN. Holy crap people, who knew this stuff was so good? At the same time, the pain seems to suck the energy right out of me. So, I haven't been working out as much as I should (I said "ish"!). And I want to. I want to so badly. But as soon as I start jumping around all uncoordinated in front my TV and waving my arms around, something pinches or a shooting pain goes this way or that...

and I say "oh f this" and go sit down.

My heart is in the right place at least, right?

Chiropractor seems to be slowly helping so, you know, the whining will ebb eventually. SWEAR.

In other news, our kitten, Molly, eats string cheese, Doritos, french fries, and whipped cream*. She will have nothing to do with chicken, tuna, or ham. This cat is me, reincarnated. Only I am still here. The other two are far more interested in the chicken, tuna, and ham so it works out.

*In addition to regular cat food, yes. God, what do you people take me for? Then again, we DID feed her string cheese, Doritos, French Fries, and whipped cream (not at the same time though! So there's that!), so I guess I am not the greatest pet owner in all the land. Shut up.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008



Well I moved to another state, and decided since I was feeling fine, I wouldn't bother finding another down here.



Yes! Shit is even worse now! I cringe when I turn my head to the left cuz I get a shooting pain on the right side of my neck, which makes driving a hoot. My right shoulder and neck are in a constant state of bunched up nerves, muscles, throbby, achey. I got shooting pains going down my right arm. Muscle spasms in the shoulder area randomly during the day. When I go to bed, my lower back spasms IN A PAINFUL WAY for 5 minutes when I first lie down. It's a big ol bag of OW in that area. When I described my back to kegofsunshine earlier today, I used the phrase "JACKED UP" cuz that seemed to be the only words to summarize it accurately.

(Aw, Drama Queen! How nice of you to visit!)

I've put off going for a couple of reasons:
  1. AM. MORON
  2. In an internal discussion area at work, some chick posted an article about how some lady got her back aligned by her chiropractor then later that evening? BOOM! stroke. So I got all twitchy about it.

  3. $15 copay per visit. Knowing that the Dr. is going to want to see me 2 to 3 times a week for a while, it adds up. And I wanna buy shoes :(

  4. What?

  5. I lie. I havent bought new shoes in 3 months. so ha.

  6. Though... it is summer now...

There are actual reasons in that list. I leave it to you to decipher.

So after several months of ignoring it, a handful of weeks of going "oh shit, it's back. wait shhhh maybe it'll go away," one WHOLE weekend on a heating pad, And dirty looks from BF, I gave in and found me a chiropractor here. I've gone yesterday and today. I don't feel better. I know it will take time. But still. NOT FEELING BETTER OVER HERE.

Oh yeah, plus this: As an added bonus, it was apparently Receptionist's first day on the job, and she told me that with my insurance coverage, I was responsible for a $10 copay PLUS 50% of all services rendered. I drove home from appointment on Monday in shock, after having paid $50. For ONE visit.

YEAH FIFTY BUCKS. I was hyperventilating over $15. I told the receptionist and the Dr. that "I have never paid over $15 for a visit. Never ever. ... ever."

The second "ever" was to show these people that I meant business and I wasn't happy!

But I paid anyway! Cuz I am a total sucker! And maybe my coverage did change!?! Highly unlikely! But surely this girl who has been on the job FOR A DAY knows better than I.

I anger easily when I am in pain, see.

I received a call this morning "so, yeah we found out that your copay is actually $15, no deductible, and unlimited visits. So you have a couple of future visits credited. Very sorry about that."

To which I really wanted to say " BOOOOYAH BIATCH I DONE TOLD YOU!!!"

But I didn't cuz I remembered I am mature.

What? I AM.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Things are lookin' up!

So either the Iron is doing its job, or it's all in my head. Either way: ENERGY. I HAS IT. Sure, it still comes in waves and once the wave crests (umm. thats right, isnt it?), this girl is pooped. And I plop right down on the couch for some good ole fashioned wall-staring.

But man, in between the plopping (ew), I am a productive little girl these days. I'm working out (ish), I'm cleaning, I'm tracking down the tumbleweeds of fur around the house that have just started appearing, along with the increase in hacked up fur balls. Mmmm tasty. By the way, product plug. If you are having trouble with pet fur, try this miracle of miracles, this genius of geniuses: [Vanna White hand movements] THE FURMINATAH. Like AHNALD would say it. BECAUSE IT AMUSES ME. THATS WHY.


Anyway. So I'm pretty stoked that I am feeling better.

Oh yeah, Lazy Eye Update: New, less head-tilting name Amblyopia. And by head tilting, I mean when I tell somebody about my lazy eye they tilt their head to their right and stare directly at my left eye quizzically. Whereupon, I have to say "yeah its not a lazy eye in that its looking left and im looking right, it's that its weaker and my brain doesnt really use it." "Oh......???"

And besides, {hair toss},the term "Lazy Eye" is considered by some to be PEJORATIVE.{Nose in the Air} Commoners.

Read the 3rd paragraph of the Amblyopia link, then come back and laugh because DAMN IM FUNNY.

Anyway. So come to find out the youngest of my brothers also has it. And he's nearly legally blind in that particular eye. He's 42. SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, NO? He was patched as a child but it didnt fix it. I was not patched, but I do remember some pretty kickin' pink Jordache spectacles when I was 6 or 7.

I went to an Ophthalmologist? Opthamologist? OphoEYEmologist? EYE MD to see if I could get a second opinion for the "ha. sucks to be you." diagnosis/treatment I had received previously. This doctor explained it to me, and I now understand. Here's my treatment: HA HA NOTHIN. SUCKER. Surgery would do nothing, because lasik is no better than lens correction and since no lenses can correct it at this point, I'm SOL. *sniff*

Apparently, this can be corrected before the age of 11. Once past this age, your brain figures out that this eye doesn't work so good so the brain trains itself to stop using it, and overworks the non-gimpy eye. Patching the good eye is one way to fix it. This forces the brain the use the gimpy eye. Also, glasses. Once past the age of 11, your brain is old and set in it's ways. Old Dog, new tricks. Know what I'm sayin'. And since I am a wee bit past the age of 11, my brain, she creaks at this point.

Neither treatments worked for my brother or I. So now we're stuck in spectacles for the rest of our lives. Woe.

I wonder what one contact would be like? Would I be lopsided?

In other news, no appearance of cankles in WEEKS. but shhhhhhhhhhhh don't say it too loud.

So, how are you guys?

Psssssst. The comment link? see that down there? Use it, k? xo, me.