Tuesday, November 28, 2006

wait, what?

As far back as I can remember, my mother avoided speaking of anything related to the past at all costs. She's tried different tactics over the years: leaving the room when a story was being told, getting angry when my dad would go "remember that babe?", having a sudden case of amnesia and interrupting the story with "when did that happen!?!", etc. Mostly the getting angry tactic is what resonates in my memory section. I never understood what her problem was with the past. It was a blanket reaction, there was nothing I could pin point as a trigger. It was just the past in general.

  • The time my dad shaved his beard, and the dog Ceiba freaked the hell out and my brother, "T", hid under the bed crying because he thought my Dad was a stranger--this was before I was even born, or as my father would say "when you were a twinkle in your mother's eye."

  • Whenever I bring up our ancestory and like, ya know, where the hell I come from.

  • Stories of my mother's grandmother, who used to make my Dad homemade tortillas which he would eat with butter, cinnamon and sugar. (btw, you must try it if you have never had it--so good) My father and my great-grandmother would communicate via sign language since my great-grandmother spoke zero english and my father spoke zero spanish.

  • The time my brother, T, worshipped Evil Knievel and rode his bike up a ramp and did some crazy jump. T is like michael jordan in that when he does something that requires concentration, he sticks his tongue out. So when he hit the ground, he bit his tongue in half. The story goes that just after that happened, the boys got called in for dinner. Pot Roast. Everyone started eating after grace except for T. My father yelled at him to start eating. So T took a bite, and then his eyes welled up with tears. My father, losing his tiny amount of patience, begins yelling at T while at the same time acting concerned--Ya know..."T! WHAT IS WRONG! EAT YOUR FOOD!" T, silent up to this point, begins to sob and opens his mouth and ... out flops his tongue which is hanging on by a ... yeah...eww! and ouchy!

  • The time T, who wore glasses as a kid, enjoyed sticking his head out the window like dogs like to do. On the ride home from the optometrist, T thought this would be a grand idea and woosh! there went the brand new glasses.

  • How cute T was when he was a kid and wanted so much to be like his big brothers. W and Bubba would be sitting on the curb next to each other and T would come over and squish himself between the two of them.

  • The time I wandered off in the grocery store (there was a toy section in our grocery store, there's no resisting that), when I got tired of checking out the toys I figured it was time to start looking for my dad. I walked down the front of the store peering down each aisle looking for him. I found him after a few aisles, he was looking for me also and looking pretty pissed about it. I tried to soften him up by being funny and yelled out "THERE YOU ARE YA BASTARD!" heh.

  • The time my mother took the boys ice skating and they were skating along holding hands and one of them fell bringing the whole party down. My mom broke her wrist. oopsy :(

  • How when I started walking I would put my arms out in front of me, elbows bent and wrists limp. Yes. The prissyness began at a very early age it seems.

  • How W was both my brothers hero. When W got a newspaper route, they wanted to help. There was a prize for getting the most subscriptions. The prize was a day at AstroWorld! So they helped and they won. T was so excited the night before that he made himself sick and couldn't go :(

  • I've gone off on a tangent again

Anyway, point is anytime ANYTHING from the past came up she would flip out and get really angry.

I have noticed, however, that in recent years it is now my mother who is the one who brings up and tells stories from the *gasp* past.

Take this past holiday trip for example. She brought up someone named "Richard" and told this story about how my grandmother was thawing a turkey out on the counter and he saw the naked bird and flipped out and started crying.

Me: uh. hey mom? Who is Richard?

Mom: Oh. He was my brother. You didnt know him. He died when he was 4.

Me: Wait! You had another brother! What did he die of?

Mom: Yeah. His name was Richard he was younger than Rachel but older than Jerry, he died of Leukemia.

Is it just weird only to find out about additional siblings of your parents when you are almost 30 or is it just me?

oh and!

Apparently I am not Spanish from Spain! No! Im Mexican from Mexico!

I dunno why but that really stunned me.

Wonder what other little nuggets I will learn as time goes on...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I joined the wrong damn competition!

again with the last to know crap...

but uh! Had I known! I would have totally participated! Totally.

What the hell am I talking about, you ask?

NaDruWiNi! It is even fun to say.

oh, sorry, its NaDruWriNi ... i like to say it "NayDrewWeeeKneeee" anyway, cuz it's the little things that make me happy

Perhaps I will have a make-up night this next weekend. We have lots of leftover liquor from the Outer Banks!

hmmm... anyone interested *nudge nudge*

Monday, November 13, 2006

le sigh.

I remember when I first heard the buzz about blogs.

I sorta dismissed it and said "*snobbby sigh* God! People have tooooo much time on their hands!"

and then multiple friends of mine started their own blogs, to which I said "gah! my life is too boring. what the hell would I write about?!!?!"

so thats my excuse for failing NaBloPoMo, my life is boring. I feel it is important to post something vaguely interesting (like this little morsel right here...heh), instead of a run-down of the boring things like:

"today I worked, then I came home and made dinner, then cleaned up and watched some tv, then ironed my clothes then went to bed. the end."

cuz my days are really like that but! theres always something funny about something that happens. and I wait for those pieces to rear their funny heads.

but you see, this process can't be rushed. no no! it's like a fine wine and...

aw ok fine, i give. I suck at NaBloPoMo *sob*

you still love me though, right? RIGHT?!?!


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Day 9: She finally comes to her senses...

Lord knows I am not talking about me here.

I am, however, talking about the Britster!

We are so close see, I can call her that.

No, really.

Anyway! Ha! She finally saw the Big Bright Flashing "L" smacked on Federline's head and is filing for divorce!


I get the feeling this is old news, I somehow only just found out though. *sigh* Always the last to know.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Day 8: Bowling Thumb

what? Don't look at me like that. I already missed a day before, I failed at NaBloPoMo *hangs head*.

I am honestly still trying though. really.

Yes, I am aware that I did not post yesterday too. Stop being a tattletale.


So I joined a bowling league! First game/meet-up/match/whatever you wanna call it was last night.

I must tell you that I am the epitomy of perfect bowling form and motion. really. REALLY! OK so I'm not. at.all.

I bowl sorta uh backwards. First, I am a "righty" but I do everything else with my left. This includes bowling.

Second, Ya know how bowlers sorta have the ball like in the palm of their hand and the ball is facing the ceiling and they throw it with so much grace and end it with a bend back-kick type movement?

here's how i do it:
  • I grab the ball and step up to platform. With appropriate fingers in appropriate holes I hold the ball close to my chin, "visualizing my move." With my other hand, I lovingly cup the ball (dude, 8 lbs is heavy! Shutup, yes i said EIGHT pounds.)

  • Then I make sure bowlers on either side of me are not preparing to also bowl cuz! Bowling etiquette hello!

  • and the "walk" begins. This is basically me dropping the ball to my side, walking up to the lane

  • at the last minute I go hey! I should swing! so I swing my arm. Note: my palm is facing the back of the room and the ball is facing the ground (hello. backwards)

  • then i let'er go. due to backwards-ness of the form, the ball has this backwards rotation on it and seems to slow.down. as it gets to the pins.

  • last night I noticed that I added this sorta kicking out of my back leg, like straight behind me, superman style. sweeeet. i am graceful.

*bow* its pure genius no?

My average you ask? Well you know it was the first game, establishing handicaps and all and uhh *cough*85*cough*

yeah i suck. whatever. as if you expected anything less ;)

I also have bowling thumb. In which the inside of my thumb is all tender and overly warm and sore and sorta hurts slightly when I bend it.

God, I am such a princess. "ohh my thumb hurts! *pout* wahhhh!"

Monday, November 06, 2006

Day 6: Damn You Carlos! *shakes fist*

Before you go all "oohhhh she didnt post yesterday, ohmmm I'm telling.."

First, who ya gonna tell? WHO!?

Second, OMG! It wasn't my fault!

As you may have noticed, I have been posting in the evening time cuz well--IM DRAWING A FRIGGIN BLANK. *sob* the pressure of posting every day is really getting to me. It has to be a good post! a funny post! a meaningful post!

then I realized, why start now with the good/funny/meaningful shit?

So ok, I have been spending lots of time in bed due to this lovely cold/whatever I have. Which, this is also an excuse I have been using.

This, however, is not my current point!

I'm getting to it, shut-up.

So yesterday, we went to breakfast, I did some laundry and cleaned the kitchen cuz God forbid people help out other people when they arent feeling good (OEIFWE)*(R#)*($)#(*$#@$)(@#*$)--ahem, anyway.

Watched the Redskins win a game!

And then a little bit later, we get ready to leave cuz! It's time for Carlos Mencia at the Warner Theatre! As we are driving off to dc, it occurred to me that I hadn't yet posted for the day.

Me: oh no! I haven't posted yet for today!
Me: I want to say this outloud but I know the bf will make fun of me!
Me: okokokok, this thing is at 9, so we should totally be back by 11! definitely 11! I can post then! It'll be fineeeeeee.

We got back at 12:45AM.


and I blame Carlos cuz

  1. last time we checked the time it was 9:32 and the thing had.not.started.yet

  2. he had like 23904850395 people come on before him, which made me giggle a little. ya know the van with a million latinos? This is what I am envisioning the "Punisher Tour" is like.

  3. he was funny! so we stayed til the very end! the nerve of him!

  4. i'm old--alright that's not his fault. *sigh*

Can I get a by?

What about a "do-overs"?



Saturday, November 04, 2006

Day 4: I have a doctor's note...

I've got a cold. and this is my excuse for the worst posts in NaBloPoMo-dome. But god, who can think with this pressure on my face?

Watch this while I go NyQuil up.

sank you bery much

Friday, November 03, 2006

Day 3: Slumber Party's in San Antonio

This whole halloween thing has me thinking back to slumber party's I attended as a weee lass (just follow me here). Yeah there was some of the putting the bra in the freezer or putting a sleeping hand into warm water (you know what i mean, sleeping person's hand in the... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). But either my friends were evil or we just enjoyed scaring the hell out of each other cuz there are a number of things I recall being staples in our slumber party's...
  • Calling the Donkey Lady: Yeah, wtf? Hear me out. So there's this number you can call--or was--in which the Donkey Lady (half donkey, half lady, of course) would answer and you could hear her hooves galloping along and they'd get faster and louder and OMG HANG UP THE PHONE BEFORE SHE GETS YOU!!!! The idea was that if you stayed on the phone long enough, you would turn around and BAM! Donkey lady right behind you. I know, stupid right? Tell that to a 12 year old (or the biggest chicken in the world, me).

  • Doing Bloody Mary in the bathroom: You know the one. No? How about just the girls? Seriously? Well anyway, SUPPOSEDLY if you go into a bathroom and turn off the lights and flick water at the mirror and chant "Bloody Mary" three times, you turn on the light and the water is red (aka OMG! BLOOD!) or she ends up behind you (wtf is it with the behind you stuff anyway?) Yours truly would run the hell out of the bathroom when the second "bloody mary" was said. *bow* thankyouverymuch

  • Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board: so somebody lays on the floor, everyone kneels down around the person and puts two fingers of each hand under the persons body, think girl scouts honor style--only palms up. THEN you shhhhhhhsshshshsh everyone cuz OMG SO FUNNY!!?!?!and then you close your eyes and concentrate cuz THIS IS SERIOUS PEOPLE. Then you chant "light as a feather, stiff as a board" over and over again and the person is supposed to levitate. Never worked for us though. well not really. we would, however, screw with somebody and go "OMG SHE IS OFF THE GROUND" and they would scream and pull her hands back and we'd laugh and laugh. *sigh* oh. where was i?

  • Quarters! So apparently, the drinking behavior started early with us BUT! we played quarters! with shots of water! WE ARE BRILLIANT. DIDJA KNOW IF YOU CONSUME TOO MUCH WATER YOU THROW UP?!?!?! Not...that I know first-hand or anything *cough*

thats all I remember right now but...kinda f'ed up no? whatever happened to like painting nails and doing makeup and playing dress up!

or like! Barbies!


btw, talking about Bloody Mary and the Donkey Lady did NOT make the hairs on my arms stand on end or cause me to go "WTF WAS THAT" when the cat jumped off the bed.

Nope. not at all.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Day 2: doh

yes im cheating already.

shut-up i have a cold and the mind is all foggy with the like...

cold stuff.

nighty night.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Day 1: While we are on the subject of scary...

The first time I remember ever being scared while watching something, it was this on mtv...

See...the chicken runs deep in me. My brother even had me watch the making of the thriller video--also on mtv--which didnt help, though I totally told him it did.

Creepy dead people! eeps!

What he shoulda done is shown me this:

not so scary anymore, huh.

and p.s. W.T.F.