The day before we moved out of the townhouse in Virginia, I was getting packed. I, of course, wasn't doing it myself because we could afford it and well... LAZY.
At 8 am a crew of 4 Latin dudes walked into the house overjoyed *ahem* about the task ahead of them. After walking them through the house, telling them about my little system "Pink Post-it means dont pack. Everything else goes in a box. Ok? Si?" The leader of the pack asked me a question: "Do you speak spanish?" Which is really code for "can we talk about you behind your back without you knowing?" I answered, "Nope." I mean I picked up on some words listening to my mom and grandma having conversations when I was a kid, but I cannot carry on a conversation by any means. For whatever reason, I never really cared to learn the language. I mean I took FRENCH in high school. IN SAN ANTONIO. Idiot.
Anyway, so throughout the day, I'd hear the word "Puta" and see something of MINE in their hands. Puta, of course, meaning "whore" or "prostitute." Nice, huh? I let it go though, I mean, whatever. Disrespect runs rampant these days anyway. And I DID tell them that I didnt speak english. But really who doesnt know the bad words? Come on.
Later, I was sitting in my freshly packed kitchen on my laptop working. The leader of the pack was in the hallway packing up the half-bath. One of the other dudes comes downstairs says something to the leader of the pack. I heard the word "Puta" again. I could tell from what very little spanish I know and his body language that he was saying "The stupid bitch didnt leave any cups for water."
I pipe up "OH! You're right! I totally forgot to set aside the plastic cups!"
The leader of the pack's face drained of all color. He nervously smiled and chuckled and said "Oh uh... thats ok..." He looked at the other dude in horror.
I ran out to McDonald's and bought some sodas and some empty cups, came back and handed them out with a big smile on my face, no one really looking at me in the eyes.
They took the entire day to pack us up. They loaded up our truck the next day. They packed up and moved my parents into the townhouse the following week. From that moment in the kitchen on, I never heard the word "Puta" again.
Tricia: 1, Morons: 0.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
On job hunting
Finding a job has to be one of the most tedious, gut-wrenching things a person ever has to do. It is, at least, when you feel under major pressure to find one so that you can pay your bills the next month.
I've gone to 6 interviews, 3 of which were with the same place. Every night before each interview I'd toss and turn, thoughts flying all over the place, praying silently. No matter how little sleep I ended up getting, I always awoke at least an hour before I really needed to, with a million knots in my stomach, throat all small, raging headache. I went to every single interview on an empty stomach. Probably not the best move on my part, but the thought of food never crossed my mind. I always ended up showing up to the interview 30 minutes early. An excruciating 30 minutes where I tried everything to distract myself from....myself:
"What if I'm not good enough"
"What if I'm not what they're looking for"
"What if I'm a total spazz in the interview"
"What if my breathe smells"
[Sticks piece of gum in mouth]
"Dont forget to spit out the gum before you go in"
"Man, I still hate pantyhose"
"Please, I NEED this job."
How does one distract themselves from themself you ask? Sudoku on the iPhone, dude ;).
Lucky for me and those I shook hands with, when I'm nervous, my hands dont get all clammy. They just turn the temperature of a chilled corpse. It's winter, so that can be played off easily. Uh... right?
Once in the interview, I tend to calm down. Mostly. I did notice that for those 3 interviews with the one place that I became very relaxed almost instantly, which I read to be a good sign.
In the middle of every damn interview I realized I still had the damn gum in my mouth. I'd try to nonchalantly move it to the side of my mouth when they weren't looking at me so it wouldn't be seen when I talked, and then I'd realize later on in the interview that I forgot where the hell I was and found myself chomping like a cow on cud. Professional, right? My breath was minty fresh though, so there's that.
After the interviews, my stomach would drop dramatically every time my phone rang. Or when my "YOUVE GOT MAIL" bell would chime. I wanted a job. I NEEDED a job. Each day that passed with no news, I'd grow just a little bit more pessimistic.
There is one place who has yet to call me, three weeks later. What happened to courtesy? Or have I been out of the job hunting for so long, that people just don't do that anymore. It bothers me some that they never contacted me. I keep wondering what exactly they didn't like about me. My skills? Or lack thereof? My portfolio? My suit? My Shoes? My salary requirement? The GUM?!
Happily, that's all over now. I was hired yesterday, THANK YOU GOD! I start Monday. My title is User Interface Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I am excited about all the things I am going to learn, all the technologies I am going to be exposed to. I cannot wait to build on my current skill-set and learn things I never got the chance to at my old job. I'll be glad to be viewed as a professional, and not the 19 year old kid mostly everyone seemed to still see me as. When you are at a job that long, it's just like how your parents look at you--they just don't see you any older than 12. Yes, I will have to prove myself, but it will be different this time. And yes, ok, being laid off IS/WAS a blessing. I give. Even if every time I heard that I wanted to punch the person in the face (but I love you anyway)--I'm still bitter about it, give me some time.
Today I emailed every recruiter I have spoken to regarding job opportunities, notifying them that I have accepted a position elsewhere, and that they could suck it.
What? I only said that last part to myself. I didnt actually type it. C'mon now.
I've gone to 6 interviews, 3 of which were with the same place. Every night before each interview I'd toss and turn, thoughts flying all over the place, praying silently. No matter how little sleep I ended up getting, I always awoke at least an hour before I really needed to, with a million knots in my stomach, throat all small, raging headache. I went to every single interview on an empty stomach. Probably not the best move on my part, but the thought of food never crossed my mind. I always ended up showing up to the interview 30 minutes early. An excruciating 30 minutes where I tried everything to distract myself from....myself:
"What if I'm not good enough"
"What if I'm not what they're looking for"
"What if I'm a total spazz in the interview"
"What if my breathe smells"
[Sticks piece of gum in mouth]
"Dont forget to spit out the gum before you go in"
"Man, I still hate pantyhose"
"Please, I NEED this job."
How does one distract themselves from themself you ask? Sudoku on the iPhone, dude ;).
Lucky for me and those I shook hands with, when I'm nervous, my hands dont get all clammy. They just turn the temperature of a chilled corpse. It's winter, so that can be played off easily. Uh... right?
Once in the interview, I tend to calm down. Mostly. I did notice that for those 3 interviews with the one place that I became very relaxed almost instantly, which I read to be a good sign.
In the middle of every damn interview I realized I still had the damn gum in my mouth. I'd try to nonchalantly move it to the side of my mouth when they weren't looking at me so it wouldn't be seen when I talked, and then I'd realize later on in the interview that I forgot where the hell I was and found myself chomping like a cow on cud. Professional, right? My breath was minty fresh though, so there's that.
After the interviews, my stomach would drop dramatically every time my phone rang. Or when my "YOUVE GOT MAIL" bell would chime. I wanted a job. I NEEDED a job. Each day that passed with no news, I'd grow just a little bit more pessimistic.
There is one place who has yet to call me, three weeks later. What happened to courtesy? Or have I been out of the job hunting for so long, that people just don't do that anymore. It bothers me some that they never contacted me. I keep wondering what exactly they didn't like about me. My skills? Or lack thereof? My portfolio? My suit? My Shoes? My salary requirement? The GUM?!
Happily, that's all over now. I was hired yesterday, THANK YOU GOD! I start Monday. My title is User Interface Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I am excited about all the things I am going to learn, all the technologies I am going to be exposed to. I cannot wait to build on my current skill-set and learn things I never got the chance to at my old job. I'll be glad to be viewed as a professional, and not the 19 year old kid mostly everyone seemed to still see me as. When you are at a job that long, it's just like how your parents look at you--they just don't see you any older than 12. Yes, I will have to prove myself, but it will be different this time. And yes, ok, being laid off IS/WAS a blessing. I give. Even if every time I heard that I wanted to punch the person in the face (but I love you anyway)--I'm still bitter about it, give me some time.
Today I emailed every recruiter I have spoken to regarding job opportunities, notifying them that I have accepted a position elsewhere, and that they could suck it.
What? I only said that last part to myself. I didnt actually type it. C'mon now.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Grace in Small Things: Day 1 of 365
Because I can't seem to think of anything to write about lately, and when I do it's dripping in bitterness and hate and worry and fear and.....well you get the idea. I was reading through Whoorl's blog to catch up on things I'd missed (cuz, hey I aint got shit-else to do) and noticed she had decided to join this Grace in Small Things challenge. I figured why the hell not. The two of you that are still here are probably bored by now ;)
So anyway, here I go.
Or, that Fajitas for 2 that I bought the other night. Eventhough it got my ass out of the house. That's $12 I don't have now. How was that a good move Tricia? (and uh, P.S. yes I ate Fajitas for 2 by myself. I only ever eat the meat though, so shuttup)
Speaking of eating. I'm not eating. Not very much anyway. And it's not because Im trying to be all dramatic. I'm just........... not hungry. It's a combination of the smoking and the HOLYFUCKWILLIGETTHATJOB?WILLIGETANYJOB? worry. I ate the fajitas for two, but I only had a protein shake earlier in the day. So what's that? Like 600 calories? At least Im not gaining weight I suppose. In fact, I'm losing weight--so...win?
Even things that I LOVE seem unappealing. I had pizza rolls for lunch. I ate like 6 rolls. Usually I can put away like 15 or so. Hey, you dont get all rotund like this eating 4 almonds. Know what Im sayin? I feel myself teetering on the cusp of some kind of depression. It's sad to me that a job can define my self-worth. I wake up every morning (11 counts as morning, right?) with a headache and knots in my stomach. I go to bed around 4am so it's not like I'm sleeping too much.
Hi, drama. Sorry!
ANYWHO. So yeah, hope to have good news tomorrow! How are you guys? Tell me a funny story. I need funny.
So anyway, here I go.
- The love and support of my close friends, my family and my favorite man in the world, BF. Awwwww.
- XBOX. For it's timesuck abilities.
- The fact that its Thursday, one day closer to the day that I found out whether I got this job or not. PLEASE GOD PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
- BF. I know, I said him already. But SERIOUSLY. I am so very lucky.
- Taking comfort in the knowledge that I am not a bad person. I am not a bad employee. THIS ISNT MY FAULT. (and yet, still feeling guilty)
Or, that Fajitas for 2 that I bought the other night. Eventhough it got my ass out of the house. That's $12 I don't have now. How was that a good move Tricia? (and uh, P.S. yes I ate Fajitas for 2 by myself. I only ever eat the meat though, so shuttup)
Speaking of eating. I'm not eating. Not very much anyway. And it's not because Im trying to be all dramatic. I'm just........... not hungry. It's a combination of the smoking and the HOLYFUCKWILLIGETTHATJOB?WILLIGETANYJOB? worry. I ate the fajitas for two, but I only had a protein shake earlier in the day. So what's that? Like 600 calories? At least Im not gaining weight I suppose. In fact, I'm losing weight--so...win?
Even things that I LOVE seem unappealing. I had pizza rolls for lunch. I ate like 6 rolls. Usually I can put away like 15 or so. Hey, you dont get all rotund like this eating 4 almonds. Know what Im sayin? I feel myself teetering on the cusp of some kind of depression. It's sad to me that a job can define my self-worth. I wake up every morning (11 counts as morning, right?) with a headache and knots in my stomach. I go to bed around 4am so it's not like I'm sleeping too much.
Hi, drama. Sorry!
ANYWHO. So yeah, hope to have good news tomorrow! How are you guys? Tell me a funny story. I need funny.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
50 things...
Hey, don't look at me--I got tagged ;)
1.What color is your tooth brush? White
2. Did you dream last night? No Idea
3. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers
4. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yup
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? No Audio?
6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter Chocolate. mmmmmmm
7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Dr. Pepper
8. What are you wearing right now? Track Pants and a tshirt
9. What was the last thing you ate? Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, it's what's for dinner!
10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope
11. When was the last time you ran? Like on purpose? No idea
12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? Erin
13. Do you take vitamins daily? Did, but I've sorta been forgetting lately
14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No, but i did for a 2.5 decades
15. Do you have a tan? No, but Im darker than BF ;)
16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? I like both equally
17. Do you drink soda with a straw? Only when I am in a restaurant
18. What does your last text message say? "I'm thinking breakfast for dinner. Burritos? Can you pick up tortillas and sausage? Maybe bacon too... Oh Milk! Need Milk? Oh, and um shredded hashbrowns heh. Please :) <3
19. Are you someones best friend? Yes
20. What are you doing tomorrow? More of the same probably. Chillin' on the couch, watching TV, messing around on the internet. Doing the 30 day shred. Hopefully.
21. Where is your dad? In our townhouse in Virginia, freezing his ass off! Sorry Daddy! HVAC will be replaced Tuesday! Keep that space heater cranked!!! LOVE YOU!!!
22. Look to your left, what do you see? Couch Pillow, wall, light switch, doorbell bell
23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? Brown and White
24. Do you use chap stick? Yes
25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Depends on my mood, but youll usually find me on the couch, laptop on lap, tv on. I'm a real active girl.
26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Both
27. Do you have a dog? No
28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? My dad
29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Jess
30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Maybe NC. YAY KEGOFSUNSHINE IS COMING TO NCCCCCCCCCCCCC WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
31. Do you dye your hair? When I have money, yup
32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but very slowly
33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes
34. Are you jealous of anyone? I really wish I could say no, but...Im jealous of those women who have already fought the fight and have reached their weight goals. Im jealous of the girls who go to the gym everyday and it shows. Im jealous of the people with jobs.
35. Do you love anyone? Yes, lots of peoples
36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
37. Do you use the word Hello daily? yes
38. Do you like cats? No, I love them.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
40. How did you get your worst scar? Riding one of those scooters that was like part skateboard, part bike, down a hill. Car was coming behind me. I freaked and jumped off, slid down the hill on my knees. Woot.
41. What is your favorite smell? CLEAN
42. What is the last DVD you watched? An evening with Kevin Smith
43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yup
44. What is your favorite number? Dont really have one
45. Do you toast your pop tarts? I can eat 'em either way
46. Have you ever waited tables? No
47. Where did you have your first kiss? Movie Theatre? I dont remember actually
48. What should you be doing? Working Out, reading about javascript, doing more job searches...
49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? I enjoy reading more than writing I think
50. How many blogs to you contribute to? Contribute with comments or like, write posts for? Comments--maybe 5, Write for--0.
Now let's see... Krys, Tree, Jen from UKMcKays, Jen the redhead ;)... TAG YER IT. For those of you without blogs. Put your answers in the comments. DO IT.
1.What color is your tooth brush? White
2. Did you dream last night? No Idea
3. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers
4. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yup
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? No Audio?
6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter Chocolate. mmmmmmm
7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Dr. Pepper
8. What are you wearing right now? Track Pants and a tshirt
9. What was the last thing you ate? Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, it's what's for dinner!
10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope
11. When was the last time you ran? Like on purpose? No idea
12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? Erin
13. Do you take vitamins daily? Did, but I've sorta been forgetting lately
14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No, but i did for a 2.5 decades
15. Do you have a tan? No, but Im darker than BF ;)
16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? I like both equally
17. Do you drink soda with a straw? Only when I am in a restaurant
18. What does your last text message say? "I'm thinking breakfast for dinner. Burritos? Can you pick up tortillas and sausage? Maybe bacon too... Oh Milk! Need Milk? Oh, and um shredded hashbrowns heh. Please :) <3
19. Are you someones best friend? Yes
20. What are you doing tomorrow? More of the same probably. Chillin' on the couch, watching TV, messing around on the internet. Doing the 30 day shred. Hopefully.
21. Where is your dad? In our townhouse in Virginia, freezing his ass off! Sorry Daddy! HVAC will be replaced Tuesday! Keep that space heater cranked!!! LOVE YOU!!!
22. Look to your left, what do you see? Couch Pillow, wall, light switch, doorbell bell
23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? Brown and White
24. Do you use chap stick? Yes
25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Depends on my mood, but youll usually find me on the couch, laptop on lap, tv on. I'm a real active girl.
26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Both
27. Do you have a dog? No
28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? My dad
29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Jess
30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Maybe NC. YAY KEGOFSUNSHINE IS COMING TO NCCCCCCCCCCCCC WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
31. Do you dye your hair? When I have money, yup
32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but very slowly
33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes
34. Are you jealous of anyone? I really wish I could say no, but...Im jealous of those women who have already fought the fight and have reached their weight goals. Im jealous of the girls who go to the gym everyday and it shows. Im jealous of the people with jobs.
35. Do you love anyone? Yes, lots of peoples
36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
37. Do you use the word Hello daily? yes
38. Do you like cats? No, I love them.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
40. How did you get your worst scar? Riding one of those scooters that was like part skateboard, part bike, down a hill. Car was coming behind me. I freaked and jumped off, slid down the hill on my knees. Woot.
41. What is your favorite smell? CLEAN
42. What is the last DVD you watched? An evening with Kevin Smith
43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yup
44. What is your favorite number? Dont really have one
45. Do you toast your pop tarts? I can eat 'em either way
46. Have you ever waited tables? No
47. Where did you have your first kiss? Movie Theatre? I dont remember actually
48. What should you be doing? Working Out, reading about javascript, doing more job searches...
49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? I enjoy reading more than writing I think
50. How many blogs to you contribute to? Contribute with comments or like, write posts for? Comments--maybe 5, Write for--0.
Now let's see... Krys, Tree, Jen from UKMcKays, Jen the redhead ;)... TAG YER IT. For those of you without blogs. Put your answers in the comments. DO IT.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Year's Quiz
Because I am in love with Sundry, she asked for people to do a quiz, and by God I'm gonna do it.
Also, hey look! a reason for a post!
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got laid off, interviewed for jobs...
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha. No. I'm thinking new year's resolutions are just there to show what a horrible follow througher (what?) I am...
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, K & J had sweet little Dylan
4. Did anyone close to you die?
BF's grandmother :(
5. What countries did you visit?
Does Northern Virginia count as a whole other country? I think it does.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A JOB. heh. Well, and determination and motivation to quit and become a real no-shit non-smoker. That would rule. Also, thin. Being thin would be so great.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
[dramaqueen]Dec. 11th. The day I got laid off[/dramaqeen]
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I lost 25 lbs!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I started smoking again
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ugly bad cold that turned into Bronchitis/Walking Pneumonia. Pre-school germs aint no joke.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy it, technically. But BF paying for KegOfSunshine and her girls to come down for my birthday was HANDS DOWN the best. Ever.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
BF--he ceases to amaze me. What a big heart that boy has *swoon*
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My former employer, and before that, my own.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills *sigh*
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
OUR HOUSE! KegOfSunshine's Visit. With my Brother's and BF, pooling our resources together and giving my parents some help financially. You could see the stress melt away from their faces. Such a great feeling.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Weird, I cant think of one. Ask me in a few years.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? uh... I'm feeling pretty good today, but lately have been teetering on the sad face side
b) thinner or fatter? THINNER!!! YAY ME!!!
c) richer or poorer? *cough*
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughing
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelling
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with BF and the cats
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, fell in love with BF all over again. AWWWWW
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Uhm, just one? I'd have to say Eli Stone. Which is being canceled. Evil people. OK TWO! Mad Men. Hands down.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I'm sorry to say, yes.
24. What was the best book you read?
I think I read a whole ONE book this year...no idea what the name of it now.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ROCKBAND! Or was that last year?
26. What did you want and get?
Love and Affection. Yes and Yes.
27. What did you want and not get?
I can't think of anything, so it seems that I am very blessed.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh god, I dont even know. Pursuit of Happiness comes to mind, but that was last year no? Oh, who cares...Pursuit of Happiness.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
KegOfSunshine came to visit, as a surprise. And what a surprise it was! 31. Gah, don't remind me...
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ending the year employed for starters...
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Comfy is IN
32. What kept you sane?
BF
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mark Ruffalo. LOVE him.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election! I hope all the talk turns into real action.
35. Who did you miss?
Everyone.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone (ha. im cheating)
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Be loyal to yourself. Be dedicated to yourself. Life changes quickly, you can handle it!
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Well shit, first you wanted an entire song, now you want some lyrics too? Hmm...
Happy New Year Kids! Make it a great one! Much Love!
Also, hey look! a reason for a post!
1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got laid off, interviewed for jobs...
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha. No. I'm thinking new year's resolutions are just there to show what a horrible follow througher (what?) I am...
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, K & J had sweet little Dylan
4. Did anyone close to you die?
BF's grandmother :(
5. What countries did you visit?
Does Northern Virginia count as a whole other country? I think it does.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A JOB. heh. Well, and determination and motivation to quit and become a real no-shit non-smoker. That would rule. Also, thin. Being thin would be so great.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
[dramaqueen]Dec. 11th. The day I got laid off[/dramaqeen]
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I lost 25 lbs!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I started smoking again
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ugly bad cold that turned into Bronchitis/Walking Pneumonia. Pre-school germs aint no joke.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy it, technically. But BF paying for KegOfSunshine and her girls to come down for my birthday was HANDS DOWN the best. Ever.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
BF--he ceases to amaze me. What a big heart that boy has *swoon*
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My former employer, and before that, my own.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills *sigh*
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
OUR HOUSE! KegOfSunshine's Visit. With my Brother's and BF, pooling our resources together and giving my parents some help financially. You could see the stress melt away from their faces. Such a great feeling.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Weird, I cant think of one. Ask me in a few years.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? uh... I'm feeling pretty good today, but lately have been teetering on the sad face side
b) thinner or fatter? THINNER!!! YAY ME!!!
c) richer or poorer? *cough*
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughing
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelling
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with BF and the cats
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, fell in love with BF all over again. AWWWWW
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Uhm, just one? I'd have to say Eli Stone. Which is being canceled. Evil people. OK TWO! Mad Men. Hands down.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I'm sorry to say, yes.
24. What was the best book you read?
I think I read a whole ONE book this year...no idea what the name of it now.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ROCKBAND! Or was that last year?
26. What did you want and get?
Love and Affection. Yes and Yes.
27. What did you want and not get?
I can't think of anything, so it seems that I am very blessed.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh god, I dont even know. Pursuit of Happiness comes to mind, but that was last year no? Oh, who cares...Pursuit of Happiness.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
KegOfSunshine came to visit, as a surprise. And what a surprise it was! 31. Gah, don't remind me...
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ending the year employed for starters...
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Comfy is IN
32. What kept you sane?
BF
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mark Ruffalo. LOVE him.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election! I hope all the talk turns into real action.
35. Who did you miss?
Everyone.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone (ha. im cheating)
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Be loyal to yourself. Be dedicated to yourself. Life changes quickly, you can handle it!
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Well shit, first you wanted an entire song, now you want some lyrics too? Hmm...
Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... dont live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and youll find love,
And dont forget son,
There is someone up above.
(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?
Forget your lust for the rich mans gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(chorus)
Boy, dont you worry... youll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.
(chorus)
Happy New Year Kids! Make it a great one! Much Love!
Friday, December 26, 2008
If you get called in to a room with 30 of your co-workers. It's not a good thing.
So, about two weeks ago, I was laid off (Merry Christmas!) by the company I have worked for since I was 19, along with about 30 of my co-workers--with not a penny of severance (Happy New Year!). To say that I am bitter and angry is more than an understatement, however, I will spare you the explicatives.
And while I do play the victim role very well, I have found that I am very angry with myself. I should have left a long time ago. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit when the money well runs dry. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit either way, given the things I have seen over the years. I was stupid--I was comfortable, I was WAY too secure in my job, thinking my tenure would save me. I was so very very wrong, and it's broken my heart. The timing alone is just so shitty, both for losing a job and trying to acquire a new one. And I'm, you know, not the most patient girl in the world. So, I'm basically driving myself crazy.
I accept that because I was a telecommuter, and the Owner of the company being none-too-keen on telecommuting, I was an easy mark. However, that doesn't make HOW this was done OK in my book. I have learned a very important lesson, and it's early on in my career, so that's probably a good thing.
Some other things I have learned:
I am full-on smoking.
Surprised? Yeah, me neither. I walked out of the building that day and promptly bought a pack of cigarettes, and haven't looked back. I plan on quitting the day I receive a job offer, but you know how well I commit to my declarations.
Looking back, I remember watching the news about the millions of people getting laid off without severance, or somehow unfairly. I remember thinking "thank god I have this job. I'm safe from all that!" Which is pretty ironic. Speaking of ironic, the night before I got laid off I tweeted, AND I QUOTE:
Dontcha Think? A little tooooo ironic...
It was the same when 9/11 happened. I was in drawing class, and the professor came in and announced there was some kind of bomb or something at the twin towers. I thought nothing of it, since this wasnt the first time. That was, until the Dean came into the room and announced that a plane had hit the pentagon and they are shutting down the school, we should leave immediately. I was scared as I drove home. I was heartbroken for all those people who lost their lives for no reason. The images of people jumping from the buildings is burned in my brain. But it wasn't personal. And then three days later I learned the neighbor of BF's parents was in the pentagon and was missing. It was weeks before his remains were found. There is now a memorial between the two houses, forever reminding us all how fragile life is. If I have learned anything from my personal history, maybe the next time I think it's not affecting me, I should realize that it's about to affect me.
I do have my health, and I do have BF who has been incredibly supportive and positive. I am blessed to have him in my life, as well kegOfSunshine who makes any day seem just a little brighter.
I have lost all trust in the company I once loved and felt this sense of obligation towards. When I hear my future employers speak about how we're "family" I am going to have to resist the urge to run like hell.
And while I do play the victim role very well, I have found that I am very angry with myself. I should have left a long time ago. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit when the money well runs dry. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit either way, given the things I have seen over the years. I was stupid--I was comfortable, I was WAY too secure in my job, thinking my tenure would save me. I was so very very wrong, and it's broken my heart. The timing alone is just so shitty, both for losing a job and trying to acquire a new one. And I'm, you know, not the most patient girl in the world. So, I'm basically driving myself crazy.
I accept that because I was a telecommuter, and the Owner of the company being none-too-keen on telecommuting, I was an easy mark. However, that doesn't make HOW this was done OK in my book. I have learned a very important lesson, and it's early on in my career, so that's probably a good thing.
Some other things I have learned:
- Keep your external resume up to date, you unbelievable idiot
- Design your damn portfolio already
- The concept of Family has no place in the business world. It's meaningless. End of story.
- KEEP YOUR RESUME UP TO DATE GOD DAMNIT.
- The economy is pure shit, I am not alone.
- BF is an amazing man.
- Heartbreak comes in all shapes and sizes
- That shit about keeping 3 months salary in your account at all times? I shoulda listened.
- Christmas without friends and family is depressing. But BF can make any shit day seem magical.
- You can feel so very guilty even when it isnt your fault.
- Be dedicated to yourself. Be loyal to yourself.
- I am serious about the resume, gooby!
- Having your resume done, and a "good enough" portfolio complete 4 days after being laid off is pretty awesome. You are a good soldier.
- No job is safe. No matter how long you've been there or how loyal and dedicated you are. In the end, it counts for nothing.
- A job is a paycheck, don't make it personal.
I am full-on smoking.
Surprised? Yeah, me neither. I walked out of the building that day and promptly bought a pack of cigarettes, and haven't looked back. I plan on quitting the day I receive a job offer, but you know how well I commit to my declarations.
Looking back, I remember watching the news about the millions of people getting laid off without severance, or somehow unfairly. I remember thinking "thank god I have this job. I'm safe from all that!" Which is pretty ironic. Speaking of ironic, the night before I got laid off I tweeted, AND I QUOTE:
Came home frm work, worked out, now dinner, then guess what? More work! Awesome. :( i guess I should b happy I have a job, huh? And yet...
Dontcha Think? A little tooooo ironic...
It was the same when 9/11 happened. I was in drawing class, and the professor came in and announced there was some kind of bomb or something at the twin towers. I thought nothing of it, since this wasnt the first time. That was, until the Dean came into the room and announced that a plane had hit the pentagon and they are shutting down the school, we should leave immediately. I was scared as I drove home. I was heartbroken for all those people who lost their lives for no reason. The images of people jumping from the buildings is burned in my brain. But it wasn't personal. And then three days later I learned the neighbor of BF's parents was in the pentagon and was missing. It was weeks before his remains were found. There is now a memorial between the two houses, forever reminding us all how fragile life is. If I have learned anything from my personal history, maybe the next time I think it's not affecting me, I should realize that it's about to affect me.
I do have my health, and I do have BF who has been incredibly supportive and positive. I am blessed to have him in my life, as well kegOfSunshine who makes any day seem just a little brighter.
I have lost all trust in the company I once loved and felt this sense of obligation towards. When I hear my future employers speak about how we're "family" I am going to have to resist the urge to run like hell.
Monday, December 01, 2008
The opposite of NaBloPoMo
For the past couple of years, I've been all, "I am joining NaBloPoMo! And I shall post everyday for 30 days, yes, yes I will!" and then I don't because. Well there's no reason.
So this year I decided to do the opposite and NOT post for 30 days. Actually 46 days. Hows THAT for sticking it to the man!
Uh, well, not really. I just didnt blog. For reasons unknown. But, let me tell you I wrote some doozies in my head. Hoooooo boy the funny that comes out of this mind sometimes, I tell ya. I remember none of it now, naturally. It was THAT important.
Anyway, so hi! How are you guys doing? I'm doing okie dokie I suppose. I'm losing weight (!) Kinda slowish, kinda not. Kinda cheating a lot so thats why it's slowish. Kinda not working out as much as I should. As a matter of fact, my jiggly ass is supposed to be in front of the TV sweating with Jillian as I sit here and type. This is sorta, vaguely, kinda not the same as working out. Don't split hairs with me, mister!
I'm kinda uninterested in work. I'm what you might call "burned out." Not that I dont have work to do because TRUST ME I've got a full plate over here. And its not that the work isnt challenging, I just... would much rather stare at the wall then do actual work. I fight this urge of course because I am supposedly this responsible adult and have like BILLS to pay. And I hear you can't draw a salary from staring at the wall. I did, however, take the last two weeks off of December. Those two weeks cannot come fast enough. I'm equally horrified and overjoyed that it is December already. Horrified because I gotta begin the tradition of racking my brain for the perfect gift for everyone--that which I usually fail at. Overjoyed, because T-W-O W-E-E-K-S O-F-F. GOD BLESS VACATION TIME.
Not that those two weeks are gonna be filled with lazy, as much as I would like them to. I've got family and work obligations, and the travel alone is mind boggling: I go to Virginia the 7th for a week for work, I leave the 12th. Come back to VA the 22nd, go to Southern Maryland the evening of the 25th, drive back home the 29th. THEN, I go BACK to Virginia, January 4th for a week. For Work. Can you hear me whining? Cuz I'm whining. LOUDLY.
See kids, this is what happens when you move to a state where neither relatives nor job headquarters resides. North Carolina still rules though so don't go getting any crazy ideas KegOfSunshine. I love you dude, but theres no way in hell im moving back. Nope.
Also, and don't faint now, I am sorta smoking again. I say sorta cuz it hasnt been everyday all day, its more like my moments of weakness are occurring more often than my moments of willpower. If you get my meaning. So *sigh* I bought a box of Nicorette yesterday, and a pack of cigarettes.
WHAT? Girl has to have one last hoorah.
Oh shutup.
And its winter now, which pisses me off. Cold and Ice and Snow and blah. Hate it. The upside is that coats, jackets, jeans and sweaters I could not wear last year, now fit. So there's that.
Well thats all very negative and bratty isnt it?
Ok, so on a positive note: IM LOSING WEIGHT PEOPLE! BF is the best man in the world, ever. EVER. Cats are all healthy and meowy. I got a new car! With NAV so I don't get lost anymore! Hardly ever anyway! I love our house! Im still not unpacked but so what! I bought Rockband 2! I haven't it yet though! And um, I think I actually like quilting!
Oh right, I didnt mention that. Yeah so, while in Colorado, I was in a quilt shop with BF's mom, sister and Aunt. I have been uninterested up to this point because the country quilts are ugly to me and I just don't like the designs. I am not a fan of kitties on my sweaters either, if you know what Im saying. But this store had like cool looking quilts. Cute Quilts even.
And so, I decided I would give it a whirl. If for nothing more than to have something to talk to BF's Mom about other than the weather, cats, and BF. BF's Mom got very excited about this, and gave me one of her sewing machines to use. I havent used a sewing machine since 8th grade Home Ec, but it's apparently just like riding a bike. Nevermind that I dont know how to ride a bike. Anyway, I signed up for a class here, and I am 85% done with my first quilt! And even though this beginner pattern is very much the type of thing that turned me off about quilts in the first place, DUDE I MADE SOMETHING! And yeah, the fabrics I picked suck ass too. But whatever. I MADE SOMETHING! I planned on making BF's mom a christmas quilt for christmas, but I am not done with this first quilt yet so it will have to be for her birthday. And then I remembered, oh yeah, her birthday is New Year's Eve. So yeah, her present is gonna be a leeetle late. heh.
K, I better go do something before my entire evening disappears on me.
PEACE OUT YA'LL.
So this year I decided to do the opposite and NOT post for 30 days. Actually 46 days. Hows THAT for sticking it to the man!
Uh, well, not really. I just didnt blog. For reasons unknown. But, let me tell you I wrote some doozies in my head. Hoooooo boy the funny that comes out of this mind sometimes, I tell ya. I remember none of it now, naturally. It was THAT important.
Anyway, so hi! How are you guys doing? I'm doing okie dokie I suppose. I'm losing weight (!) Kinda slowish, kinda not. Kinda cheating a lot so thats why it's slowish. Kinda not working out as much as I should. As a matter of fact, my jiggly ass is supposed to be in front of the TV sweating with Jillian as I sit here and type. This is sorta, vaguely, kinda not the same as working out. Don't split hairs with me, mister!
I'm kinda uninterested in work. I'm what you might call "burned out." Not that I dont have work to do because TRUST ME I've got a full plate over here. And its not that the work isnt challenging, I just... would much rather stare at the wall then do actual work. I fight this urge of course because I am supposedly this responsible adult and have like BILLS to pay. And I hear you can't draw a salary from staring at the wall. I did, however, take the last two weeks off of December. Those two weeks cannot come fast enough. I'm equally horrified and overjoyed that it is December already. Horrified because I gotta begin the tradition of racking my brain for the perfect gift for everyone--that which I usually fail at. Overjoyed, because T-W-O W-E-E-K-S O-F-F. GOD BLESS VACATION TIME.
Not that those two weeks are gonna be filled with lazy, as much as I would like them to. I've got family and work obligations, and the travel alone is mind boggling: I go to Virginia the 7th for a week for work, I leave the 12th. Come back to VA the 22nd, go to Southern Maryland the evening of the 25th, drive back home the 29th. THEN, I go BACK to Virginia, January 4th for a week. For Work. Can you hear me whining? Cuz I'm whining. LOUDLY.
See kids, this is what happens when you move to a state where neither relatives nor job headquarters resides. North Carolina still rules though so don't go getting any crazy ideas KegOfSunshine. I love you dude, but theres no way in hell im moving back. Nope.
Also, and don't faint now, I am sorta smoking again. I say sorta cuz it hasnt been everyday all day, its more like my moments of weakness are occurring more often than my moments of willpower. If you get my meaning. So *sigh* I bought a box of Nicorette yesterday, and a pack of cigarettes.
WHAT? Girl has to have one last hoorah.
Oh shutup.
And its winter now, which pisses me off. Cold and Ice and Snow and blah. Hate it. The upside is that coats, jackets, jeans and sweaters I could not wear last year, now fit. So there's that.
Well thats all very negative and bratty isnt it?
Ok, so on a positive note: IM LOSING WEIGHT PEOPLE! BF is the best man in the world, ever. EVER. Cats are all healthy and meowy. I got a new car! With NAV so I don't get lost anymore! Hardly ever anyway! I love our house! Im still not unpacked but so what! I bought Rockband 2! I haven't it yet though! And um, I think I actually like quilting!
Oh right, I didnt mention that. Yeah so, while in Colorado, I was in a quilt shop with BF's mom, sister and Aunt. I have been uninterested up to this point because the country quilts are ugly to me and I just don't like the designs. I am not a fan of kitties on my sweaters either, if you know what Im saying. But this store had like cool looking quilts. Cute Quilts even.
And so, I decided I would give it a whirl. If for nothing more than to have something to talk to BF's Mom about other than the weather, cats, and BF. BF's Mom got very excited about this, and gave me one of her sewing machines to use. I havent used a sewing machine since 8th grade Home Ec, but it's apparently just like riding a bike. Nevermind that I dont know how to ride a bike. Anyway, I signed up for a class here, and I am 85% done with my first quilt! And even though this beginner pattern is very much the type of thing that turned me off about quilts in the first place, DUDE I MADE SOMETHING! And yeah, the fabrics I picked suck ass too. But whatever. I MADE SOMETHING! I planned on making BF's mom a christmas quilt for christmas, but I am not done with this first quilt yet so it will have to be for her birthday. And then I remembered, oh yeah, her birthday is New Year's Eve. So yeah, her present is gonna be a leeetle late. heh.
K, I better go do something before my entire evening disappears on me.
PEACE OUT YA'LL.
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