The Weekend Get Away

This weekend, the BF and I headed to the hills of West Virginia for some alone time, togetherness, nature...

and to get our greedy mitts on some free shit!

Wheee! A weekend full of free shit is the awesomest!

So the BF works with a guy who knows a guy who is brothers with a guy who is married to a lady who knows a dude who is related to this chick whos father owns the farm that this dude works on who's distant relative 5 times removed owns this resort place up in "WOOOOOOOODAWGYWESTVIRGINIA!"

alright to be fair. I didn't run into anyone barefoot in overalls chewing on a piece of hay as I had imagined but still, it makes me giggle. also, to be fair again--it was his co-worker's wife that owns the resort, but it was funnier to me the other way.

....Where was I?

ah yes. wooooooooooooooodawgygeterdoneEtc!

so! God knows what I was expecting, but the overall sentiment I feel now is "woooo thank god it wasnt like I had dreamt it up in my head"

cuz. west virginia + spa resort = what the ?

or at least, thats how math goes in my head.

anyway, so the lodging was adequate and the food was...well the food sucked but hey! can't have everything!

The massage, facial, manicure, pedicure (THAT WERE FREE BTW!) were indeed the awesomest.

perhaps was due to the freeness (i make up words, get over it) of the whole thing, either way. awesome is as awesome does.

or something.

*cough* anyway. So I had the massage first, and it was a guy. Aside from the vague sexual connotations of it all--he pulled my hair! Pulled! as in McDreamy on the season Finale pulled my hair! Well, ok, not really like that but wow it sorta got me twitchy. And also there were parts where I couldnt exactly tell where exactly his hands were exactly. I just felt exact uber relaxation and "ahhhhhhhhh"

"ahhhhhh" is a feeling. look it up. OK DONT I LIED.

So I walk out of there very relaxed with a goofy smile on my face cuz. for once in like 21309840129481049184 months, my back isnt all tight and stiff! Its pure bliss! You should try it! no really! It's even better than the chiropractor! But shhh dont tell him though cuz. Love! I heart him!

On to the facial. Its a girl this time. after she slathers random junk on my face and wipes it off and puts more stuff on and wipes it off over and over again. She sits down behind me and starts to move her hands around my face and down my neck in this repeated rhythm. There was no pressure, she was just touching me.

It got me to thinking whether it was really what she was doing that was relaxing--cuz I was very close to just falling asleep--or if it was because I was being touched by another human being that was relaxing. Think about it. Every treatment at a spa involves human touch. every single one. Alright alright almost every single one.

whatever. dont get technical with me.

I forget where I was going with this....

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Dude: "Whats a Garden Burger?"
Rocket Scientist Waitress: "Well, I think it has lettuce and tomato on it."

No, really. I'm not making it up.
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Damnit what was my point?

umm...

hey! Look over there! *points behind you*