I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

So the other day, I was on the phone with kegOfSunshine and had to stop to get gas because i had 1/4 of a 1/4 of a tank and I was beyond twitchy about it. So I'm on the phone, take out my checkcard, select my gas grade and I stick the thingy in the thingy and flip the thingy that makes it go all by itself while I stand around staring blankly with my mouth hanging open til it clicks. Because clearly, I am too busy to hold it myself.

And then I put my checkcard on top of the car because I didnt have pockets in the dress pants I was wearing, and the holding of the cell phone was obviously the maximum capacity for my hands.

Yes.

So I'm talkin talkin talkin while these mexican fellers on the other side of the thingy stare at me, all "why this chick hab her mout open like dat esse?" and the thingy clicks. I close my mouth and put the thingy back on the ......... stand thingy and I get in my car.

I get off the phone with kegOfSunshine and I am driving down the road, ecstatic about the lack of traffic for a Monday. And then the hamsters wake up and I go

"UH! I DIDN'T PICK UP MY CARD FROM ON TOP OF THE CAR! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!"

So I turn around and go back because surely the card would have flown off the car when I first started to drive off.

*blink* what?

At this point all i can think about is the mexican fellers and how those shits stole my credit card! YES! CUZ AM RETARDED! ALSO! Racist against my own half race apparently!

So I get back to the pump I was at, get out of the car and I walk around and look for my card.

Nothin.

So I go over to where I drove out of the gas station. Nothin there.

Then Im like, "well fuck." and get back in my car and drive off. Then I get to the intersection that I recall flying out into to make the light. So I stop, no one is behind me and I take a look around.

AND I FIND A CREDIT CARD! YAY!

but oops not mine :(

Seems I'm not the only moron in the hood ;)

So I get back in the car and proceed to work. I get on my cell phone and call my bank to cancel the card so that those mexican fellers no one can pay for shit with my card. MUH MONEY BITCHES.

So I'm on hold listening to the calming music, and I finally get someone.

"Hi, I just lost my checkcard. I put it on top of my car when I was pumping gas and I drove off without getting it. I just went back and checked and I couldnt find it. So I need to cancel this..."

and my cell phone dies.

ha. ha. HA.

So I get to work, all frazzled because OMG THEY ARE GONNA SPEND ALL MY MONEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and I cancel my card. Will be getting new one in 5 to 7 Business Days. yay!

The next day when carpool was getting out of my car, one of the guys goes "hey, is this yours?!"

AND HANDS ME MY CHECKCARD.

it was stuck between the rear window and the top of the trunk.

jesus.

By now its too late to cancel the cancellation, so not only am I having to deal with all the moving crap, but now I gotta make sure that all my auto pay stuff has gotten changed over, lest I get like LATE FEES or somethin.

All because I didn't have any damn pockets in my dress pants that day.

WTF WITH NO POCKETS IN WOMENS DRESS PANTS PEOPLE.

*wimper*