A Day in the Life of the Blank Mind

0730: Alarm Goes off, hit snooze

0740-0820: Continue to swat at alarm clock. Honestly, I don't know why I bother setting it.

0845: Peep clock with one eyeball, fly out of bed and start shower, brush teefs. Admire the bed head. I remind myself a lot of Axl Rose circa Welcome to the Jungle--34 seconds in.

0855: Out of shower, q-tip the ears. Cannot skip this step. Q-tipping = bliss. I am addicted.

0857: (Yes, Two whole minutes to Q-Tip. I'm telling you, its an important step dude)
Grab whatever t-shirt and trackpants/warm-up pants/workout shorts/jeans/whatever i cant wear in the office nanny nanny boo boo and throw it on

0859: Grab phone and water bottle from night stand

0900: Say bye to all the felines as if I am leaving the house. I dont know, so don't ask.

0901: Log in to work. Read email, etc. *yawn* Think to myself "so when's vacation again?"

0915: Notice that I am freezing, then realize OH YEAH MY HAIR IS STILL WET.

0916: Blow-dry hair at my desk, keeping eye on screen should anyone msg me. What happens if Im not there! They'll think im slacking!

0920: Go to kitchen and acquire some form of breakfast food. OR NOT. depending on how busy I am

1130/Noonish (depending on how hungry I am): Contemplate lunch. This can go one of two ways: 1. I grab some crap from the kitchen and go back to desk or 2. Decide going out for something is good choice. Figure out what the closest places are, do the math on how fast i can get there in back (usually nothing faster than half an hour, suck.)

1230: Eat at desk, continue to work

1245 (oh lets be honest, throughout the day): Peer over at personal computer for email, tweets, etc.

1700: Oh, would ya look at that! its 5! I should log off.

1705: Hang on, lemme just do this real quick.

1745: Real quick my ass

1800: Wander out of office and proceed directly to couch to cuddle up with blanket. BF says the office is the hottest room in the house. Whatevs, I disagree. brrr.

1830: Watch Everybody Loves Raymond Reruns. Cannot get enough of this show. Raymond is an exact duplicate of my middle brother. EXACT. It's creepy a little.

1915: Peel myself off couch and do some chores (maybe), kick some imaginary ass, taebo-style. Perhaps prepare dinner, or we go out.

2030: Screw around on computer while watching TV

2100: Ditto

2200: Ditto

2230: Go "SHIT! It's 1030 already!"

2300: "SHIT! It's 11 already!?!"

2400: Terrorize Blackberry with anxiety pill we have to shoot down her throat. Remove whole cat that is now left on my tshirt. She molts when freaked out. Watch Late show.

2430: Put earplugs in ears and sigh loudly while tossing and turning which is code for "TURN THE TV OFF ALREADY" HI. I R BITCH.

0100: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

No wonder I'm so tired all the time. YOU TRY KEEPING THAT SCHEDULE.

[Edited to Add]: Fixed times, i fail at military time. Theres no friggin 2430 ya moron.

[Edited to remove my previous edit]: HAHA YES THERE IS. JESUS.