Finding a job has to be one of the most tedious, gut-wrenching things a person ever has to do. It is, at least, when you feel under major pressure to find one so that you can pay your bills the next month.
I've gone to 6 interviews, 3 of which were with the same place. Every night before each interview I'd toss and turn, thoughts flying all over the place, praying silently. No matter how little sleep I ended up getting, I always awoke at least an hour before I really needed to, with a million knots in my stomach, throat all small, raging headache. I went to every single interview on an empty stomach. Probably not the best move on my part, but the thought of food never crossed my mind. I always ended up showing up to the interview 30 minutes early. An excruciating 30 minutes where I tried everything to distract myself from....myself:
"What if I'm not good enough"
"What if I'm not what they're looking for"
"What if I'm a total spazz in the interview"
"What if my breathe smells"
[Sticks piece of gum in mouth]
"Dont forget to spit out the gum before you go in"
"Man, I still hate pantyhose"
"Please, I NEED this job."
How does one distract themselves from themself you ask? Sudoku on the iPhone, dude ;).
Lucky for me and those I shook hands with, when I'm nervous, my hands dont get all clammy. They just turn the temperature of a chilled corpse. It's winter, so that can be played off easily. Uh... right?
Once in the interview, I tend to calm down. Mostly. I did notice that for those 3 interviews with the one place that I became very relaxed almost instantly, which I read to be a good sign.
In the middle of every damn interview I realized I still had the damn gum in my mouth. I'd try to nonchalantly move it to the side of my mouth when they weren't looking at me so it wouldn't be seen when I talked, and then I'd realize later on in the interview that I forgot where the hell I was and found myself chomping like a cow on cud. Professional, right? My breath was minty fresh though, so there's that.
After the interviews, my stomach would drop dramatically every time my phone rang. Or when my "YOUVE GOT MAIL" bell would chime. I wanted a job. I NEEDED a job. Each day that passed with no news, I'd grow just a little bit more pessimistic.
There is one place who has yet to call me, three weeks later. What happened to courtesy? Or have I been out of the job hunting for so long, that people just don't do that anymore. It bothers me some that they never contacted me. I keep wondering what exactly they didn't like about me. My skills? Or lack thereof? My portfolio? My suit? My Shoes? My salary requirement? The GUM?!
Happily, that's all over now. I was hired yesterday, THANK YOU GOD! I start Monday. My title is User Interface Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I am excited about all the things I am going to learn, all the technologies I am going to be exposed to. I cannot wait to build on my current skill-set and learn things I never got the chance to at my old job. I'll be glad to be viewed as a professional, and not the 19 year old kid mostly everyone seemed to still see me as. When you are at a job that long, it's just like how your parents look at you--they just don't see you any older than 12. Yes, I will have to prove myself, but it will be different this time. And yes, ok, being laid off IS/WAS a blessing. I give. Even if every time I heard that I wanted to punch the person in the face (but I love you anyway)--I'm still bitter about it, give me some time.
Today I emailed every recruiter I have spoken to regarding job opportunities, notifying them that I have accepted a position elsewhere, and that they could suck it.
What? I only said that last part to myself. I didnt actually type it. C'mon now.