Wednesday, December 20, 2006

durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I have one day left until I am off for Christmas and it seems as though my brain went on Holiday like last friday...

Exhibits A through whatever:

A. I keep checking my xmas list of shopping still to do (yah. I said STILL TO DO), even though I have the stupid thing burned into my brain. I still go "wait, what is left again?" and read it. for the 32098203948203498203948203948th time.

B. The other day, a co-worker asked me if I wanted anything from Panera. I looked at him blankly (im guessing) and after I had him repeat it, I said "oh...n..no thank you!" Honestly all I heard him say the first time was "woh woh woh woh woh?" Charlie Brown teacher style. He asked me what the look was for and I said "Oh...that was tooooootally not what I was expecting you to say" Cuz I'm quick on my feet like that. *cough*

C. I have stared at my closet every evening this week for a minimum of 10 minutes going "sooooo... what should I wear tomorrow" and I sit on my bed, cock my head to the side and swing my legs back and forth like a complete idiot and stare at my closet as if clothes will magically fly out of it and make themselves into this spectacular outfit. I end up picking the same basic shit every week, why the bewilderment?

C. This past weekend, I was on a christmas cookie mission and baked and made candy and...whew...martha stewart would be proud, let me tell you. BF and I went to the store friday night to get everything I needed. I even had a list! and my recipes just in case I needed to double-check! and turns out! I needed to! Like twice! there was even a whole recipe THAT WAS NOT EVEN ON THE DAMN LIST. how the hell? I made this big deal about making the list and then i left whole cookie recipe ingredients off? nice. and also! I went back to the store once! and sent bf back again! AN HOUR LATER!

D. Ooops I did C twice. see what I mean?

E. I had to dictionary.com confusion cuz in Exhibit C (the first one) I originally wrote "why the perplexion" and its not even a friggin word as I had suspected. I then thesauresed (dont even tell me thats not a word either) "confusion" to get bewildered so I sound all smart. Only now I have revealed my secret. *sigh* dumbass.

F. I laid on my heating pad last night cuz my back huuuuuuuuuuuuurts, as I do when my... uhh... back hurts (makes sense no?) and I woke up this morning WITH.IT.STILL.ON. Weee!!! howz about a nice house fire to start the morning! Luckily nothing happened but doooode...thats not good!

G. WHAT THE HELL DAMN DAY IS IT DAMNIT. IS IT WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY?!?! Thursday! No wait! Wednesday! Wait! ...God.

H. I made Chicken Tortilla Soup Monday night for a pot-luck lunch my team was having on Tuesday. As I poured the soup into the crock pot at work Tuesday morning, I realized I FORGOT THE TORTILLA PART. woopsy.

I. The longer I think about this the more I come up with...and I dunno if I need to reveal alllllll that today.

Luckily, I am not operating heavy machinery this week. Carpool, I love you the mostest!

Friday, December 15, 2006

The one where she complains about stuff...

I know...it's all very shocking and like new for me to be complaining *cough*

So in the middle of November, I ordered 4 new tires from tirerack.com to replace my dry-rotted orginal with car tires. Me, cheapass that I am, chose the shipping that was the cheapest which also had the tires backordered. They did not get shipped until just after Thanksgiving. Got the tires put on at a local garage the weekend following thanksgiving. The day the car was in the shop I received a call from the garage where they threw big manly words at me like "camber" and "caster" and "toe" to which I immediately began imagining a big foot on my car and thought "wtf?!"

Anyway, the way the dude explained it made it sound as if he did not have the tool to fix my right camber so I was going to have to pay $79 for this tool and $82 for the alignment.

to which i said "shhaaaa right!"

so I took my car home with brand new tires and a bum foot. It was when I called the dealership to figure out what the hell this mechanic was talking about that I finally understood: He needed to replace the bolt kit! It is a part! Not a tool! How hard is it to say shit like that? He kept referring to it as a "tool" and well. I dont pay for garage equipment. It's a little rule I have, call me crazy.

Last Saturday night, I drop my car off to get the camber shit fixed. I was told that it would be done by COB on sunday. cool.

Then I get a phone call mid-afternoon asking if they could have the car until tomorrow morning because the "general mechanics" do not have the experience to do this camber fix and they would like to wait until a specialized mechanic is available to work on it.

I say sure cuz I have blessed carpool and it is not my week to drive, so what's one more day?

Monday rolls around and I call when I get home from work cuz W.T.F. He then tells me that he will give me a call back after he talks to the mechanic to get an update.

He calls me back. They have NOT started working on the car but will start immediately.

I say "It will be done tonight I hope." and he says yes. He tells me to come at COB (7pm) to pick it up.

BF tells me I was rude. whatever. they have not worked on the car all.day.long. what kinna bullshit is that?

I call at 6:45 juuuuuuuuuuust to make sure. It isn't finished. they can't get it "to spec" and can they keep the car another day.

In my head: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
Outloud: Actually no, I need my car tomorrow to get to ...you know...work.

(I had to drive myself the next day, had doctors appointments to get to)

He told me I could take the car and asked me to return it as soon as possible.

I asked him "so its ok to drive on it half aligned?!"

he says "I think so"

I say "You think? or you know"

he says "yeah yeah no its fine"

in my head: "im gonna be driving down 95 and a wheel falls off...just watch"

So I pick up the car.

Fast forward to the next morning when I am getting out of the car at work.

There is grease on.my.door.interior.AND.on.the.exterior.

I whisper a few explicatives to myself and then call later in the morning when the garage opens. Phone call went something like:

Garage: "Thanks for calling alsdkjldskfjslkfdthsodf auto care, this is Adam, How may I help you?"
Me: "Hi Adam, Listen I've got a bit of a problem, and I want to know how you are going to make it better."
Adam: chuckles. [Really? thats the first move you wanna make? Laughing at an angry customer? Excellent move.]
Me: [this is where I tell the story. I didnt feel it necessary to repeat...this shit is already long enough] "...and now there's grease on the interior AND exterior of my car."
Adam: "Well ma'am I do apologize, I do not know what is going on with the alignment and I'd like to see this grease that you are talking about. We have upholstery cleaner, so we can clean that."
me: "oookkaaay...."
Adam: "How about I give you the oil change and the alignment free of charge, does that work for you"
Me: [Jaw on floor] "Umm..Ye..Yes. That works"
Me Inside: HOLLLLY SHIT!
Adam: "when will you be dropping the car off?"
Me: "I don't get back into the area until 430/445 so probably 5 or so"
Adam: "OK well I won't be here at 5, but I will inform the assistant manager"
Me: [begin paranoia] "Uh huh...ok"

So I begin to think about how they are gonna screw me and say that they have no idea what I am talking about and can I please fork over the $200 already and shut the hell up.

But no, that didn't happen. The dude knew exactly what I was talking about and even said "I was here on Sunday when this was supposed to be completed"

Me Inside: "Really? So why didnt you work on the shit then. god."
Me Outside: "Oh really?"
Him: "yeah I dunno why it isnt fixed"
me Inside: Me either jackass, me either.
me outside: silence.

k so that was tuesday night.

receive a call wednesday morning telling me how my battery has died and they need to replace it. Batteries normally pull 600 something and mine was pulling 11. They will not charge me for labor, just the battery.

me: "ok so what will my new total be?"
adam: "$89.00--thats the cost of the battery."
me: "oh but I thought I was paying for the bolt kit for the camber too"
adam: "No I am not charging you for that"
me: [Jaw on floor] "ok, go ahead and replace it"
adam: "i will give you a call later and let you know when your car is ready"
me: "okie dokie"

fast forward (heh) to wednesday afternoon.

Adam calls and tells me that the car starts now but wont stay on and the key fob no longer works, the door locks do not work and some other crap doesnt work. They cannot figure it out so they are gonna have my car towed to the dealership so they can fix whatever is wrong. He is going to issue me a rental car in the meantime.

Dealership tells me that my BCM is blown and needs to be replaced. That'll be $531.

Me: "I'm sorry...WHAT!"
Dealership: I see you have had this replaced before, November of 2003
Me: So the car was a little over a year old when it was replaced the first time?
Dealership: seems to be that way...
Me: So help me out here. How does a major electrical module go out in a basically new car TWICE in 4 years?
Dealership: I dunno... maybe the garage jumped the car and thats when the BCM blew
Me: yeah uh huh. Cuz thats a normal thing a garage would do. Jump a car before testing the damn battery.
Dealership: It is hard to prove...
Me: there's a shocker [yes i am being rude, this is friggin ridiculous]"

so i call corporate customer service to like complain cuz wtf!

I got a call this morning. They will replace the BCM Module, all I am responsible for is labor...$180.

Hey, thats better than $531.

shew.

What's funny is that just a few years ago I would have never fought and would have just paid and curled up in a little ball and wimpered.

Not so bad this growing up bidness.

So I called the garage just a minute ago to give them a courtesy update on what the deal is with the car. After much apologizing and kissing my ass I was informed that THE ALIGNMENT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN FINISHED.

Im expecting a call later today when they find out.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!>?!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Oi...

So guess what? I'm getting old :(

I know I know we are all doing it, shush. I get that. It is just that I am just recently noticing the lovely tell tell signs and today is the icing on the cake. And I wanna whine about it *pout* I'm not all OMG! IMA FREAK THE HELL OUT NOW cuz...well I dunno why. But lets just go with it.

The said "tell tell signs":

  1. Like a year ago, I was looking in the mirror putting my hair up. When I was done, I turned my head from side to side like I do to admire my handywork (this shit takes talent people!) and a odd piece of light color hair type looking thing was sticking straight out of the side of my head (insert *booiinnnggg* sound effect here). So I was all WTF!?! and I tugged at it and leaned forward in the mirror and squinted and then my eyes widened with the realization that HOLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIT THATS A GRAY HAIR (p.s. grey/gray?). I then proceeded to redo the updo to hide this new revelation. Didn't work. That little punk sticks out every single time. I wear my hair down lots more often now.

  2. Kids of co-workers/fellow employees are now in college. COLLEGE!?!?! Holy Shit dude, these kids were in like middle school when I first met em. My bosses son? Yah. IN THE MILITARY NOW. holy crap. I remember riding in the car with her and her two boys were sitting in the back as we skated along I-81 one winter evening. I remember thinking how intelligent they were for being so young and so well behaved. THE MILITARY people! gah.

  3. "laugh lines" or whatever the hell you want to call them have now a permanent spot on my face. No. kidding. I noticed it the other day. When I watched myself go from smile to no smile, lines about the nose and mouth were still there. awesome.

  4. My hip pops when I get in and out of BF's acura. I dunno if thats a sign of old and crickety but it sure sounds like it to me.

  5. I NOW HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES 24/7. :( I used to wear glasses for the computer to reduce the headaches and the squinting and the smooshin my nose up to the monitor. A month or two ago I started noticing that I was having to squint to see street signs. Big Ass signs, billboards, whatever were B L U R R Y all of a sudden. So then I went to optometrist in nov and lo! I got a new prescription shock of all shocks. I went to day to get the lenses cut to my current frames (cuz im a cheap ass) and I am now having some issues with these "progressive lenses" Ya. thas right. I got trifocles! No need to be slow about the degrading eyesight, full speed ahead I always say! gah.

  6. Oh yeah, I turn 30 in months. MONTHS! Full Speed Ahead! Yar! (I missed talk like a pirate day, matey.)

On a side note, these progressive lenses are really screwing with me.

and also ... Oi. :(


**Update:
addition to tell tell signs:

1. I see the chiropractor at least once a week. Make no mistake though, I love every second of it. *happy sigh*
2. I'M IN A BOWLING LEAGUE -- that just sounds old don't it? I now own BOWLING SHOES.
3. I recover from hangovers veeeeeeeeeeery slowly now.
4. Going to bed at 11:00 PM is late for me--though it is a common occurrence.
5. Waking up at 8am on saturday morning is also a common occurrence. I go back to sleep though cuz well CUZ I CAN!

Seriously, I feel like im looking through a fishbowl with these glasses. Apparently blinking aides in eyesight focus, because I am finding myself blinkling LOTS this afternoon.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

wait, what?

As far back as I can remember, my mother avoided speaking of anything related to the past at all costs. She's tried different tactics over the years: leaving the room when a story was being told, getting angry when my dad would go "remember that babe?", having a sudden case of amnesia and interrupting the story with "when did that happen!?!", etc. Mostly the getting angry tactic is what resonates in my memory section. I never understood what her problem was with the past. It was a blanket reaction, there was nothing I could pin point as a trigger. It was just the past in general.

Examples
  • The time my dad shaved his beard, and the dog Ceiba freaked the hell out and my brother, "T", hid under the bed crying because he thought my Dad was a stranger--this was before I was even born, or as my father would say "when you were a twinkle in your mother's eye."

  • Whenever I bring up our ancestory and like, ya know, where the hell I come from.

  • Stories of my mother's grandmother, who used to make my Dad homemade tortillas which he would eat with butter, cinnamon and sugar. (btw, you must try it if you have never had it--so good) My father and my great-grandmother would communicate via sign language since my great-grandmother spoke zero english and my father spoke zero spanish.

  • The time my brother, T, worshipped Evil Knievel and rode his bike up a ramp and did some crazy jump. T is like michael jordan in that when he does something that requires concentration, he sticks his tongue out. So when he hit the ground, he bit his tongue in half. The story goes that just after that happened, the boys got called in for dinner. Pot Roast. Everyone started eating after grace except for T. My father yelled at him to start eating. So T took a bite, and then his eyes welled up with tears. My father, losing his tiny amount of patience, begins yelling at T while at the same time acting concerned--Ya know..."T! WHAT IS WRONG! EAT YOUR FOOD!" T, silent up to this point, begins to sob and opens his mouth and ... out flops his tongue which is hanging on by a ... yeah...eww! and ouchy!

  • The time T, who wore glasses as a kid, enjoyed sticking his head out the window like dogs like to do. On the ride home from the optometrist, T thought this would be a grand idea and woosh! there went the brand new glasses.

  • How cute T was when he was a kid and wanted so much to be like his big brothers. W and Bubba would be sitting on the curb next to each other and T would come over and squish himself between the two of them.

  • The time I wandered off in the grocery store (there was a toy section in our grocery store, there's no resisting that), when I got tired of checking out the toys I figured it was time to start looking for my dad. I walked down the front of the store peering down each aisle looking for him. I found him after a few aisles, he was looking for me also and looking pretty pissed about it. I tried to soften him up by being funny and yelled out "THERE YOU ARE YA BASTARD!" heh.

  • The time my mother took the boys ice skating and they were skating along holding hands and one of them fell bringing the whole party down. My mom broke her wrist. oopsy :(

  • How when I started walking I would put my arms out in front of me, elbows bent and wrists limp. Yes. The prissyness began at a very early age it seems.

  • How W was both my brothers hero. When W got a newspaper route, they wanted to help. There was a prize for getting the most subscriptions. The prize was a day at AstroWorld! So they helped and they won. T was so excited the night before that he made himself sick and couldn't go :(

  • I've gone off on a tangent again


Anyway, point is anytime ANYTHING from the past came up she would flip out and get really angry.

I have noticed, however, that in recent years it is now my mother who is the one who brings up and tells stories from the *gasp* past.

Take this past holiday trip for example. She brought up someone named "Richard" and told this story about how my grandmother was thawing a turkey out on the counter and he saw the naked bird and flipped out and started crying.

Me: uh. hey mom? Who is Richard?

Mom: Oh. He was my brother. You didnt know him. He died when he was 4.

Me: Wait! You had another brother! What did he die of?

Mom: Yeah. His name was Richard he was younger than Rachel but older than Jerry, he died of Leukemia.

Is it just weird only to find out about additional siblings of your parents when you are almost 30 or is it just me?

oh and!

Apparently I am not Spanish from Spain! No! Im Mexican from Mexico!

I dunno why but that really stunned me.

Wonder what other little nuggets I will learn as time goes on...

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I joined the wrong damn competition!

again with the last to know crap...

but uh! Had I known! I would have totally participated! Totally.

What the hell am I talking about, you ask?

NaDruWiNi! It is even fun to say.

oh, sorry, its NaDruWriNi ... i like to say it "NayDrewWeeeKneeee" anyway, cuz it's the little things that make me happy

Perhaps I will have a make-up night this next weekend. We have lots of leftover liquor from the Outer Banks!

hmmm... anyone interested *nudge nudge*

Monday, November 13, 2006

le sigh.

I remember when I first heard the buzz about blogs.

I sorta dismissed it and said "*snobbby sigh* God! People have tooooo much time on their hands!"

and then multiple friends of mine started their own blogs, to which I said "gah! my life is too boring. what the hell would I write about?!!?!"

so thats my excuse for failing NaBloPoMo, my life is boring. I feel it is important to post something vaguely interesting (like this little morsel right here...heh), instead of a run-down of the boring things like:

"today I worked, then I came home and made dinner, then cleaned up and watched some tv, then ironed my clothes then went to bed. the end."

cuz my days are really like that but! theres always something funny about something that happens. and I wait for those pieces to rear their funny heads.

but you see, this process can't be rushed. no no! it's like a fine wine and...

aw ok fine, i give. I suck at NaBloPoMo *sob*

you still love me though, right? RIGHT?!?!

*sniff*

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Day 9: She finally comes to her senses...

Lord knows I am not talking about me here.

I am, however, talking about the Britster!

We are so close see, I can call her that.

No, really.

Anyway! Ha! She finally saw the Big Bright Flashing "L" smacked on Federline's head and is filing for divorce!

MSN SAID SO IT MUST BE TRUE!

I get the feeling this is old news, I somehow only just found out though. *sigh* Always the last to know.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Day 8: Bowling Thumb

what? Don't look at me like that. I already missed a day before, I failed at NaBloPoMo *hangs head*.

I am honestly still trying though. really.

Yes, I am aware that I did not post yesterday too. Stop being a tattletale.

Anyway.

So I joined a bowling league! First game/meet-up/match/whatever you wanna call it was last night.

I must tell you that I am the epitomy of perfect bowling form and motion. really. REALLY! OK so I'm not. at.all.

I bowl sorta uh backwards. First, I am a "righty" but I do everything else with my left. This includes bowling.

Second, Ya know how bowlers sorta have the ball like in the palm of their hand and the ball is facing the ceiling and they throw it with so much grace and end it with a bend back-kick type movement?

here's how i do it:
  • I grab the ball and step up to platform. With appropriate fingers in appropriate holes I hold the ball close to my chin, "visualizing my move." With my other hand, I lovingly cup the ball (dude, 8 lbs is heavy! Shutup, yes i said EIGHT pounds.)

  • Then I make sure bowlers on either side of me are not preparing to also bowl cuz! Bowling etiquette hello!

  • and the "walk" begins. This is basically me dropping the ball to my side, walking up to the lane

  • at the last minute I go hey! I should swing! so I swing my arm. Note: my palm is facing the back of the room and the ball is facing the ground (hello. backwards)

  • then i let'er go. due to backwards-ness of the form, the ball has this backwards rotation on it and seems to slow.down. as it gets to the pins.

  • last night I noticed that I added this sorta kicking out of my back leg, like straight behind me, superman style. sweeeet. i am graceful.


*bow* its pure genius no?

My average you ask? Well you know it was the first game, establishing handicaps and all and uhh *cough*85*cough*

yeah i suck. whatever. as if you expected anything less ;)

I also have bowling thumb. In which the inside of my thumb is all tender and overly warm and sore and sorta hurts slightly when I bend it.

God, I am such a princess. "ohh my thumb hurts! *pout* wahhhh!"

Monday, November 06, 2006

Day 6: Damn You Carlos! *shakes fist*

Before you go all "oohhhh she didnt post yesterday, ohmmm I'm telling.."

First, who ya gonna tell? WHO!?

Second, OMG! It wasn't my fault!

As you may have noticed, I have been posting in the evening time cuz well--IM DRAWING A FRIGGIN BLANK. *sob* the pressure of posting every day is really getting to me. It has to be a good post! a funny post! a meaningful post!

then I realized, why start now with the good/funny/meaningful shit?

So ok, I have been spending lots of time in bed due to this lovely cold/whatever I have. Which, this is also an excuse I have been using.

This, however, is not my current point!

I'm getting to it, shut-up.

So yesterday, we went to breakfast, I did some laundry and cleaned the kitchen cuz God forbid people help out other people when they arent feeling good (OEIFWE)*(R#)*($)#(*$#@$)(@#*$)--ahem, anyway.

Watched the Redskins win a game!

And then a little bit later, we get ready to leave cuz! It's time for Carlos Mencia at the Warner Theatre! As we are driving off to dc, it occurred to me that I hadn't yet posted for the day.

Me: oh no! I haven't posted yet for today!
Me: I want to say this outloud but I know the bf will make fun of me!
Me: okokokok, this thing is at 9, so we should totally be back by 11! definitely 11! I can post then! It'll be fineeeeeee.

We got back at 12:45AM.

damnit.

and I blame Carlos cuz

  1. last time we checked the time it was 9:32 and the thing had.not.started.yet

  2. he had like 23904850395 people come on before him, which made me giggle a little. ya know the van with a million latinos? This is what I am envisioning the "Punisher Tour" is like.

  3. he was funny! so we stayed til the very end! the nerve of him!

  4. i'm old--alright that's not his fault. *sigh*


Can I get a by?

What about a "do-overs"?

no?

hmph.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Day 4: I have a doctor's note...

I've got a cold. and this is my excuse for the worst posts in NaBloPoMo-dome. But god, who can think with this pressure on my face?

Watch this while I go NyQuil up.

sank you bery much

Friday, November 03, 2006

Day 3: Slumber Party's in San Antonio

This whole halloween thing has me thinking back to slumber party's I attended as a weee lass (just follow me here). Yeah there was some of the putting the bra in the freezer or putting a sleeping hand into warm water (you know what i mean, sleeping person's hand in the... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). But either my friends were evil or we just enjoyed scaring the hell out of each other cuz there are a number of things I recall being staples in our slumber party's...
  • Calling the Donkey Lady: Yeah, wtf? Hear me out. So there's this number you can call--or was--in which the Donkey Lady (half donkey, half lady, of course) would answer and you could hear her hooves galloping along and they'd get faster and louder and OMG HANG UP THE PHONE BEFORE SHE GETS YOU!!!! The idea was that if you stayed on the phone long enough, you would turn around and BAM! Donkey lady right behind you. I know, stupid right? Tell that to a 12 year old (or the biggest chicken in the world, me).

  • Doing Bloody Mary in the bathroom: You know the one. No? How about just the girls? Seriously? Well anyway, SUPPOSEDLY if you go into a bathroom and turn off the lights and flick water at the mirror and chant "Bloody Mary" three times, you turn on the light and the water is red (aka OMG! BLOOD!) or she ends up behind you (wtf is it with the behind you stuff anyway?) Yours truly would run the hell out of the bathroom when the second "bloody mary" was said. *bow* thankyouverymuch

  • Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board: so somebody lays on the floor, everyone kneels down around the person and puts two fingers of each hand under the persons body, think girl scouts honor style--only palms up. THEN you shhhhhhhsshshshsh everyone cuz OMG SO FUNNY!!?!?!and then you close your eyes and concentrate cuz THIS IS SERIOUS PEOPLE. Then you chant "light as a feather, stiff as a board" over and over again and the person is supposed to levitate. Never worked for us though. well not really. we would, however, screw with somebody and go "OMG SHE IS OFF THE GROUND" and they would scream and pull her hands back and we'd laugh and laugh. *sigh* oh. where was i?

  • Quarters! So apparently, the drinking behavior started early with us BUT! we played quarters! with shots of water! WE ARE BRILLIANT. DIDJA KNOW IF YOU CONSUME TOO MUCH WATER YOU THROW UP?!?!?! Not...that I know first-hand or anything *cough*


thats all I remember right now but...kinda f'ed up no? whatever happened to like painting nails and doing makeup and playing dress up!

or like! Barbies!

sheesh.

btw, talking about Bloody Mary and the Donkey Lady did NOT make the hairs on my arms stand on end or cause me to go "WTF WAS THAT" when the cat jumped off the bed.

Nope. not at all.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Day 2: doh

yes im cheating already.

shut-up i have a cold and the mind is all foggy with the like...

cold stuff.

nighty night.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Day 1: While we are on the subject of scary...

The first time I remember ever being scared while watching something, it was this on mtv...


See...the chicken runs deep in me. My brother even had me watch the making of the thriller video--also on mtv--which didnt help, though I totally told him it did.

Creepy dead people! eeps!

What he shoulda done is shown me this:


not so scary anymore, huh.

and p.s. W.T.F.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Boo! ...and stuff



I never was big on halloween. Yeah, dressing up was cool. Candy was pretty sweet...

but. the like. scary stuff...

holeeeeeeeeee moleeeyyyyy on a stick!

I am such a total chicken. No, really. I mean...umm...The Blair Witch Project scared the ever-loving bejesus out of me! Just now? When I went to retrieve the link, the sound came on and I had to scurry over to that page to close it! cuz! OMG! SCARY STILL! When I saw it for the first time, the ending made the hairs on my arms stand on end, the blood rush from my face and I umm kinda SCREAMED LOUDLY IN THE THEATRE. oopsy heh. I didnt move until the lights went on. My friends were...

LAUGHING AT ME :(

meanies.

and yet, when K told me about this haunted forest thing, I was all.... oh hell no!

and then a day or so later, I was all...WE SHOULD GO! WE SHOULD GO!

wtf?

There is the rumor about how a week or so after watching the movie, said Chicken Shit was having a nice peaceful, relaxing smoke outside before bed. When she came back in, the house was all super dark. Instead of maybe, I dunno, TURNING A LIGHT ON, Chicken Shit proceeded to run from the door to the stairs. She did this so quickly, that when she reached the middle landing she ran right into a big ass plant. She immediately thought of Blair Witch and the trees (and it totally made sense to her too...cuz now? not so much). So guess what she did?

yah, thats right. She SCREAMED at the top of her lungs and continued running straight to her room.

Her mom came into her room and was all "WTF was that ya weirdo" (she really said "you ok? what happened!!?!?!" but I know what she meant by the look on her face). Chicken shit then tried to explain, but just as it seems now, she heard herself talking and immediately realized how just utterly weird she really is.

...but it's just a rumor *cough*

Friday, October 27, 2006

dooooooooooode.

So this morning I was visiting my daily blogs. It's a long list too. I'll make a list one day!* Anyway, so I get to my 5th one (yah, no I was serious, theres like at least 20 I read daily) and theres this talk of "Blopping" and I clickity click the link cuz..wtf is blopping?!!?

and lo!

It's a friggin competition of sorts!

I loves me a good competition! Unless it involves running, cuz then...not so much.

Anyway, So I have entered myself in it.

wanna know what it is?

Tis NaBloPoMo a'course!

...hang on a sec, I just realized the depth of my geekyness.

wow.

did i mention that i also purchased this to help me in my endeavor?

no?

k well nevermind then *cough*

that tshirt is pretty sweet though.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Phew! and also Aww Damnit!

"Your jury service for this term has ended. You are no longer required to report as previously instructed and need not call for any further instructions. We thank you for serving as a juror in the United States District Court."


Hot diggity dog!/*kicks the ground with her shoe* hmph. Woulda been cool to have been a juror on a murder case or something equally as glittery and oh la la.

I am thankful though for missing the opportunity of spending a kazillion hours quality time on 95.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Facing Fear

I voluntarily attended a training session at work regarding presentations and like public speaking.

First, let me just say. Holy crap! I haaaaaaaaaaaaaate public speaking. it scares the bejesus out of me. I get all hot in the face region which I am sure means I am a nice shade of magenta, my hands get shaky, my voice cracks. I lose the ability to speak coherently. I forget what Im supposed to be saying. I forget my name! I start to think everyone is looking at me like I am a big fat idiot.

and. I apparently black out.

cuz. I dont remember a single thing I said.

lemme back up a little...

after the "training" part of this session, we were sent away for 30 minutes to think about what we had just learned and try to apply it to a presentation about anything.

anything? come on! gimme some friggin parameters!

So I decide to talk about How I quit smoking (btw! 55 days! and those that were witness to my handful of weak moments...shut it. The reason why I can still say 55 days with pride is because even though i trip up, I go right back to not smoking. k. thx.)

anyway. so I get back to the session kinda late. and people are doing their presentations already. I sit down and I start to like...get insanely nervous.

after a few presentations, I raise my hand.

and then immediately think "oh you stupid bitch! wtf are you doing!"

but oops too late.

so i fumble with the mic cuz I've never messed with any such contraption (aside from karaoke, but thats for another time).

I then begin my presentation by telling my audience that I will be speaking about How I quit smoking.

which is unexpectedly received with applause.

I then poll the audience of smokers...

and I couldn't tell ya who raised their hands or what I said after that. I have my outline of what I was supposed to say. but I uhh...dont remember. any of it.

Miliseconds Minutes later, the torture was over and I got to sit down. Phew. Which, coincidentally, was right about the time that I began to breathe again.

OK so, let's review: I volunteered!

What the fuck! Who does that? Meeting fears head on like that? Certainly not me! I run! I hide! I...volunteer? What's with the courage? shew, I am so proud of myself.

also, i received quite a number of compliments. Which made me float just a little bit today ;)

All in all, me and Ice Cube think it was a good day.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

A Call to Arms

alright, not really. It's just jury duty for cripes sake.

*eyeroll* she can be soooooooooooo dramatic sometimes.

pipe down over there.

Anyway! So yah it is my turn to fulfill my civic duty and am "on call" for Jury Duty for the next two weeks, which is awesome. Now, I'm not a total control freak or anything but I HATE NOT KNOWING UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE WHAT IM DOING THE NEXT DAY.

okokok after 6pm isnt exactly last minute, but still!

So I made my first call friday evening, all giddy-worried about the logistics of getting to frickin Alexandria by 0830 in the morning from the frickin hood (pwc esse!) without, you know, shooting myself in the head from sitting in traffic for a bazillion years, while at the same time really excited about the prospect of being on the jury of a murder case for like some mafia guy or something. Cuz this is for U.S. District Court bitches! Prime Time Baby!

....I obviously watch too much tv...

anyway so I was not needed on Monday which was a relief and a disappointment all at once.

Fast forward to last night, I am ironing my clothes thinking about what I have to do at work tomorrow when the thought struck me, "HEY STUPID! Hows about you check on your jury duty reporting status!" and then my stomach drops. Cuz, im way too paranoid for my own good and OMG! It's too late to call my carpool if I am called in and HOLYSHIT NOW WHAT DO I DO???!?!

I figure probably the best thing to start off with would be

I dunno...

like CALL THE DAMN NUMBER AND FIND OUT IF YOU ARE NEEDED FIRST BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR SHIT FOR NO REASON.

so i did ;)

and I got the SAME EXACT MESSAGE FROM FRIDAY. In which it told me to please call after 6pm the following business day, Monday, 16 October to check what my new reporting status will be.

The little hamsters in my head start running around and I go "but! it is Monday! OMG! They didnt update the message! So I hang up and redial cuz OF COURSE THEY WILL UPDATE THE MESSAGE IN THE NEXT MINUTE.

and whaddya know! same message!

so I call back a couple more times

hi. im an idiot. nice to meetcha!

so then i decide that they are probably not going to be at the office at 8:30pm (after I tried calling the office twice), and my head is pounding really loud and my ear feels like its gonna fall off so perhaps I should go to bed and I will call tomorrow morning.

Did I mention that I have a swollen gland in my neck and the pain is radiating to my inner ear, my jaw, my teeth and it hurts when i turn my neck?

no? well nevermind. Im ignoring it too! Sick! Me! NO! NOT FUCKING AGAIN! NO! NOOOOOOOO!

ahem. anyway...

I get to work and call the number again (AFTER I had called immediately upon getting into carpool vehicle cuz! they totally would have updated by now, I mean its 6:45AM!)

and whaddya know! same message.

So I pass the time by reading through the crap they sent me, cuz occupying my mind with doing actual work at work is just silly, and I get to this part:

Is jury service mandatory?

Yes. The United States Constitution guarantees the right to a trial by jury in both criminal and civil cases. Your participation as a juror helps make justice happen. Also, the consequences of not reporting for jury service are severe. You could be escorted to the courthouse by a deputy U.S. marshal to explain to a judge why youdid not report. You also could be fined up to $100 or imprisoned for up to three days or both.


This is right about the time I start to lose my shit. I'm all "Oh fuck! Well I... Well I would tell the judge that the message wasn't updated. Yeah, that'll work." and then I thought "but HOW WOULD I PROVE IT!" and then i thought about calling it again and recording the message.

I wish I was kidding.

0828 rolls around and I jump on the phone. cuz im impatient.

Guy gets on phone, I explain my neuroses, he asks me for my name and puts me on hold for a jillion years (yes ok not really, shut-up). He comes back and asks me to spell my last name and he says "ok, just call back tonight after 6pm"

and I say... "ok so im good for today!?!?!"

which. jesus christ tricia.

he says "yes, you are fine."

and then I say "ok so the messag..."

to which he responds quickly with "yes, it wasn't updated."

phew.

no troopers comin to escort me to the courthouse today. I can rest easy.

until 6pm tonight anyway ;)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The Weekend Get Away

This weekend, the BF and I headed to the hills of West Virginia for some alone time, togetherness, nature...

and to get our greedy mitts on some free shit!

Wheee! A weekend full of free shit is the awesomest!

So the BF works with a guy who knows a guy who is brothers with a guy who is married to a lady who knows a dude who is related to this chick whos father owns the farm that this dude works on who's distant relative 5 times removed owns this resort place up in "WOOOOOOOODAWGYWESTVIRGINIA!"

alright to be fair. I didn't run into anyone barefoot in overalls chewing on a piece of hay as I had imagined but still, it makes me giggle. also, to be fair again--it was his co-worker's wife that owns the resort, but it was funnier to me the other way.

....Where was I?

ah yes. wooooooooooooooodawgygeterdoneEtc!

so! God knows what I was expecting, but the overall sentiment I feel now is "woooo thank god it wasnt like I had dreamt it up in my head"

cuz. west virginia + spa resort = what the ?

or at least, thats how math goes in my head.

anyway, so the lodging was adequate and the food was...well the food sucked but hey! can't have everything!

The massage, facial, manicure, pedicure (THAT WERE FREE BTW!) were indeed the awesomest.

perhaps was due to the freeness (i make up words, get over it) of the whole thing, either way. awesome is as awesome does.

or something.

*cough* anyway. So I had the massage first, and it was a guy. Aside from the vague sexual connotations of it all--he pulled my hair! Pulled! as in McDreamy on the season Finale pulled my hair! Well, ok, not really like that but wow it sorta got me twitchy. And also there were parts where I couldnt exactly tell where exactly his hands were exactly. I just felt exact uber relaxation and "ahhhhhhhhh"

"ahhhhhh" is a feeling. look it up. OK DONT I LIED.

So I walk out of there very relaxed with a goofy smile on my face cuz. for once in like 21309840129481049184 months, my back isnt all tight and stiff! Its pure bliss! You should try it! no really! It's even better than the chiropractor! But shhh dont tell him though cuz. Love! I heart him!

On to the facial. Its a girl this time. after she slathers random junk on my face and wipes it off and puts more stuff on and wipes it off over and over again. She sits down behind me and starts to move her hands around my face and down my neck in this repeated rhythm. There was no pressure, she was just touching me.

It got me to thinking whether it was really what she was doing that was relaxing--cuz I was very close to just falling asleep--or if it was because I was being touched by another human being that was relaxing. Think about it. Every treatment at a spa involves human touch. every single one. Alright alright almost every single one.

whatever. dont get technical with me.

I forget where I was going with this....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dude: "Whats a Garden Burger?"
Rocket Scientist Waitress: "Well, I think it has lettuce and tomato on it."

No, really. I'm not making it up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damnit what was my point?

umm...

hey! Look over there! *points behind you*


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Disorientation

I went to the grocery store after work and the chiropractor--and p.s.? I LOVE THE CHIROPRACTOR MAN. LOVE! DID I SAY LOVE YET? CUZ. LOVE! Totally.

oh. hi. where was i?

right. grocery store.

So, I walk in and grab the little red riding hood basket...

what? It totally looks like what I would imagine red riding hood carrying. Think about it. Doesn't it? Alright, shutup. This is how my mind works, dont look at me like that.

Annnnnnyway, so I step through the automatic doors and the familiar scent of baked goods and linoleum waft by the ol nose (btw, I'm totally smelling random things lately. must be the WHOLE MONTH AND ONE DAY OF NOT SMOKING. YES. I SAID A WHOLE MONTH AND ONE DAY *bow*).

crap. i keep getting distracted.

So, I'm walking along and notice that my footsteps sound different. They sounded sorta hollow and deep and it felt kinda--yes, eventhough I was wearing shoes--softer.

anyway so im thinking "hmm, wtf"

so I look down.

cuz it only makes sense, no?

and holy hell! theres wood on the floors now! and i look up and hey! the walls look differe..hey! the produce area looks all farmers marketish...hey! what the hell!

and then i realize that

a. man for being a person who is so detail oriented at work (alright well I think so) I certainly am oblivious to obvious shit

and b. holy crap! they are remodeling!

cuz im smart like that.

so I remember that I have a mission and proceed to add things to the red riding hood basket that I need and ...

im all...

HEY WHERE THE HELL IS EVERTHING!

Theres these metal racks in front of the regular shelves (which are empty, btw) with the food. Only, its all in the wrong aisles.

OH SONOFA! IM GONNA HAVE TO RE-LEARN THIS STORE!

I just got this crap down too. damnit.

and I start to notice that every other customer I walk by also has this "wtf?" look on their face. I walked by this chick that had this look and I said "any idea where the rice is?!?!"

and she hahaha'd and said "not a clue."

So I continue to walk around going "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE RICE!?!?!"

I pass the chick again. She says "find it?"

me: "*sigh* No!"

just then an employee walks by and THE CHICK asks "excuse me, where is the rice?"

the employee, outfitted with the same "WTF!?!" look on her face as everybody else goes "uhhh" and proceeds to look at the aisle signs. She walks back and forth between a few aisles with me following behind her, listening to her go "I dunno why they moved everything and didnt bother providing any goddamn maps!"

THE CHICK appears again from some other aisle and goes "found it!"

I say "Oh, the cereal aisle! That makes perfect sense!"

and btw, whats with the nice chick? am I not in NOVA?!?! Home of the sneer and the stare right through you and the DONT YOU KNOW IM IN A FUCKING HURRY! MOVE YOUR ASS CUZ IM MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU AND MAKE IT SNAPPY DAMNIT?!?!

was a nice change i must say ;)

the chip aisle! in the middle of the store! not the far left! What will I do! *sob* I DONT KNOW WHERE SHIT IS!

pah. I didnt even go look to see whats at the far left. it was too much for me to handle.

I thought it was strange that the parking lot was basically empty at 6pm on weekday, and now I know why. CUZ YA CANT FIND NOTHIN!

luckily, im a fairly smart girl and found what I needed (but gah! just barely!)

The really sad part of this whole thing is the fact that the grocery store remodeling is affecting me this much.

jesus.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

So umm... WTF?!?!

I leave pretty hot weather with sun and random rain storms for a week to go to the beach with fairly warm temperatures, the occasional appearance of the sun, and full on blissful relaxation.

I come back to crisp air, lows in the 40s, chilly mornings and the faintest scent of fall wafting by my nose...

Im sorry. Did I miss something? How can it be fall already?

Im seeing signs that Halloween is just on the horizon. (I also have yet to go into a store since my return, so it is not in my face). And obviously, Im completely ignoring the little Halloween carnival already in appearance at the nursery by my house. SLOW YOUR ROLL PEOPLE, IT ISN'T OCTOBER YET! DAMNIT!

My parents are already talking about Thanksgiving plans...

AND in like 3 days, its officially the last day of summer.

it's just so sad.

I feel like I somehow missed summer all together because I never really felt summer.

You know how summer feels....

hot, sweaty, lazy, mosquitoes, entire days spent at the pool, barbecue, sweet tea, the smell of cocoa butter, sunburn, "WOOOO! It's hot out there! Yeah! It's not the heat that gets you though, its the humidity," lemonade, ice cream, the smell of chlorine, relaxing, no school, carefree, summer evenings when its finally cool enough to sit on the sidewalk without burning your ass, trucker tan (ya know, where your left arm is darker than your right from the right side of your body being exposed to the sun while driving), midnight and its still like 80, freezer pops...

...well I could go on and on...

instead, I spent my summer days in a fucking cold office--though, I am always cold if its below like 75 so that's not a shock--living my own version of The Office, doing like work to make money to responsibly pay my adult bills and buy adult things like, ya know, groceries and kitty litter!

In an odd way, I feel like I just turned around for a second and my youth was secretly replaced with this imposter adulthood. When I turned back around and took my first taste, I scrunched up my nose with the bitterness and went "WTF is this!?!?!"

so so sad.

My summers have been this way for years now, why the sudden feeling of Adulthood?!

ya got me man, in fact its wiggin me out some.

someone hand me a bottle of banana boat before I go mental.

I also dread the end of summer because that means the beginning of fall which means winter is just around the fucking corner, waiting impatiently.

Tapping her icey blue fingers.

Eyeing me with her frigid stare.

I hate that bitch.

omg no seriously! I hate winter. haaaaaaaaaaate.

I hate winter coats, hats, gloves--all of which I avoid wearing at all costs. In fact, two of my coats are still in the closet at work from last friggin winter. I hate driving in ice, snow, sleet. (thank god I don't work for the postal service). I hate being cold. I hate the dry skin. I hate having to layer clothes cuz one friggin layer is never enough. Thermal Underwear!?!? omg don't get me started.

heh I act like I live in friggin Fargo, North Dakota or something (eh?!)

bah. I need to fly south for the winter. Who's with me!

Summer! Come back! I miss you already!

Monday, September 18, 2006

What I Did On Summer Vacation
By Tricia

"Them bikes be like 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'""the pool isnt so bad once your legs go numb""wheres the gas grill? all i see is this park grill piece of crap???""holy shit look at that spider!""I have sand everywhere. *wipes sand on K's arm*. Sand from my ass. you are welcome." "hey look! the sun is out! oh wait...nevermind" "sound good cause they free....shewt" "jerry is back on dish duty tomorrow" "We are sooooo gonna regret this tomorrow *giggle and clink shot glasses* HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY!" "is Erin alive? Yeah I texted her twice earlier she is alive. hahah you texted her?!?!" "so what did you drink? Lemon drops. Amateur. $150 of lemon drops. Holy shit! That's like professional." "I wonder what the kitties are doing right now? Plotting our demise, probably" "Thats from just today in the sun? Yeah. I hate you. I really hate you." "HOW MUCH FOOD DID YOU GUYS BUY ANYWAY!" "FOOZBALL IS THE DEVIL" "WE NEE MO WAX!" "Is the pool warm? Uh *shiver* no" "We are out of beer. WHAT!?! We are out of beer. How the hell?!!? What I meant to say was, we are out of beer." "Holy shit check out the ceiling. eww" "I think maybe next time, you should think about a bigger truck" "YOU DIDNT SAY LAST CARD!!!!! Yes I did! Oh. Damnit." "Theres images flying around in my head that I really didnt need" "damn dude, your burps are awful" "That's a lot of cake. Yeah umm. apparently 1/2 a sheet is smaller in my head" "Yeah, Shewt"

Friday, September 08, 2006

I don't know what I've been told...

Skinny Tricia's got a lot of soul!

SO! I FOUND! AN OUTSIDE BOOTCAMP CLASS! IN MY AREA!

It's Monday/Wednesday/Friday at 7pm just down the street from my house.

I'm so excited! I think I just peed a little!

$5-$8/session which is roughly $65/month

hi. one personal trainer session for one hour was gonna be $60.

lsdkjfslkfjsldkfjsdlfkjSQWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

AND AND AND YOU GET THE FIRST WEEK FOR FREE.

Class starts first Monday of Oktober. Yes, I said oKtober. Hey Look! I'm German!

So, who's down for it. CMON! You know you wanna! Cluss? Harm? Erin? Karri? BF? *taps foot*

Of course, I am already apprehensive about a couple of things:
  1. I can't run to save my life. No really, if someone was chasing me, it wouldn't be that hard to catch up. heck they'd prolly run right past me

  2. the idea of a "bootcamp" workout scares the crap out of me. Army visions are flooding my head. "Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?" "To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant!" (see! There's a forrest gump quote for every occasion! believe me now?)

  3. omg. running. ick


I'm sure more will come to me.

My god I am excited. lasdkjflsdkfjsldf

P.S. The title reminds me of a cheer from my high school. heh. ya ready? (ok!)

I DONT KNOW WHAT IVE BEEN TOLD
i dont know what ive been told

CLARK COUGARS GOTTA ALOTTA SOUL
clark cougars gotta alotta soul

WE GOTTA TEAM THATS GO GO GO
we gotta team thats go go go

WE ARE THE BEST AND YOU SHOULD KNOW
we are the best and you should know

BOM BOM CHICKAMOM BOM *clap*
BOM BOM CHICAMOM BOM HEEEEEEEY *clap*
BOM BOM CHICKAMOM BOM *clap*
BOM BOM CHICAMOM BOM HEEEEEEEY *clap*
BOM!

i crack myself up.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Well obviously, I had to take that shit down.

Theres honest and then theres ballsOutYouShouldntBePuttingThatShitOutForAllTheWorldToSeeYou
HormonalFemale honest.

heh, sorry if you missed it ;)

anyway...

two days til vacation *hop*-didnt even need my fingers to figure that one out.

still not smoking *hop*

(to those who had the pleasure of reading that other post before i deleted...it's like jekyll and hyde, no? Welcome to my world, kids.)

still not sleeping very well.

hmm... how about a list!

Things I am looking forward to on vacation:

  1. Being with BF sans laptop-- HA HA I make myself laugh. I still have hope he wont bring it though.

  2. Lazy days on beach or poolside talking about everything and nothing with my girls ;)

  3. Sunburn. I DONT CARE THAT THERES A TROPICAL DEPRESSION currently plotting its ruining of my vacation in the atlantic ocean! I AM GOING TO GET A SUNBURN DAMNIT *stomp*

  4. Sweet sweet notHavingAnythingToDoGoodness

  5. Not working for 6 Business Days *happy sigh

  6. Not having to wear pantyhose for said 6 Business Days--yeah whatever, I don't usually wear pantyhose anyway. Details..details..

  7. Grilled food every single night. Love grilled food

  8. beer!

  9. Wardrobe consisting of: shorts, tshirts, bathing suit. sweet.

  10. omg did i say no working for 6 business days?!?! woohoo

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Status: Day 5

ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME is still smoke free :P

but umm. not doing so well with a couple of the rules though.

I am...
totally riding the emotional rollercoaster.
totally screaming at people while driving for not really valid reasons.
totally not overeating!
totally hardly eating at all, which aint good either.
totally not sleeping well.
totally late for carpool every single day this week.
totally loving the new kitten.
totally making sure the other two get love too. Im an equal opportunity lover, see.
totally not sleeping well.
totally getting things done after work, which, hello. this is unheard of.
totally rid my car of all ash and smokey smells, car is so fresh and so clean clean.
totally not sleeping well.
totally awake at night when i should be tired, yet exhausted throughout the day.
totally glad i am alone this week to wrestle with my emotional rollercoaster.
totally not glad i will also be alone next week. bah. i hate your job bf. really. H.A.T.E.
totally forgot my patch yesterday and didnt use that as an excuse to smoke. score!
totally not sleeping well.
totally have been alone since Sunday night people! and! have not smoked! Not once! Me! Not Sneaking! Not Smoking!
totally havent gotten to the gym once yet this week. awesome.
totally cant find my circle of friends bracelet :(

and yet...

totally proud of myself (totally).

I know, I know, its not even a week yet. hush up--this junx is hard!

Monday, August 28, 2006

The birthday fairy...

The morning of my birthday I was awoken by a kitten on kitty crack who had confused the bed for a kitty race track in which to chase invisible things and pausing momentarily for dizzying spins to chase that illusive black thing behind her that keeps following her. HER TAIL.

I watch for a few moments, willing myself awake. I notice I am alone. BF had to go to DMV--a long drawn out story that is kinda funny but not really mine to tell.

I continue to lay there thinking "hey! its my birthday! I dont have to do diddly squat today! yay!" and then my short-term memory kicked in and made me realize that this was not really the case.

I mean really, once you are past the 12 year old mark that really is never the case. ever. OK OK OK 25..whatever, same thing.

Anyway, so BF gets home and I am still in bed. He gets in bed and tells me the woes of the DMV and then he falls asleep. I decide that perhaps I should get up cuz I was having maids come and clean my house (weee! happy birthday to me! no seriously, OTHER.PEOPLE.ARE.GONNA.CLEAN.MY.HOUSE. how awesome is that?)

So I get up and start to pick up whatever I did not pick up the night before and then I start to...

...get pissed off?

an hour later I wake up the BF, seething, and start yelling about he didnt do this and he didnt do that (and god. HOW he puts up with me I will never know) and then I start to cry cuz "OMG YOU HAVENT EVEN SAID HAPPY BIRTHDAY YET!"

Hi. My name is Tricia. I am a spoiled brat. Im also quitting smoking. Dont come near me.

He looks at me, bleary-eyed, and goes "im sorry, im just so tired."

it's about this time that I realize I am an uber bitch and that I should shut-up. So I go into the guest room and lay there and try to get my shit together cuz O.M.G. WHAT A BITCH I AM.

time passes, a friend of ours calls and sings me Happy birthday. I cry again. One of my brothers calls and sings to me too, again with the waterworks.

maids come, I do laundry. We have dinner with my parents.

and then I head over to my friends house, KEGOFSUNSHINE, to help her out with the slumber party for 12 12-year-olds she is hosting.

I get out of the car, walk up the sidewalk and knock on the door. I can hear the TV on. She opens the door with a GIGANTIC smile on her face (but this is normal). The lights are off, the girls are watching a movie, she leads me into the dark kitchen where there are flowers and balloons and a cake in the shape of a heart with candles on it. She and her daughters start singing to me and I start to cry. The girls giggled and Tricia, her daughter said "so this is what they mean by crying cuz you are happy?" Which made me laugh cuz wow kids are pretty perceptive.

She then leads me upstairs and hands me my birthday present with two cards. One is from the girls and one is from her. I got candles and car freshner and a cd i wanted.

She made me feel so special. I love you birthday fairy.

Friday, August 25, 2006

A contract with myself

Let it be known that I, Tricia, do solemnly swear on this 25th day of August in the year of our lord 2006, by the power vested in me by the state of willpower and having a freaking spine that I will smoke no longer and fear no evil. *twitch*

Tricia, heretofore referred to as "ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME" will abide by the following contractual obligations:

  1. ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will NOT under any circumstances purchase any nicotine products with the exception of Nicotrol and Nicoderm CQ should she require the assistance. *twitch*


  2. When ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME's BF is out of town, this does not give her the right to sneak cigarettes. "No one will know but me" is something of the past.


  3. Even while drinking, ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will not partake of any nicotine substance, other than the exceptions previously listed (see rule #1)


  4. Upon the occurrence of drama and/or pain and/or anger, ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will not succum to the evil cigarette.


  5. *twitch* ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will do her best to NOT ride the emotional rollercoaster that is withdrawal and will instead lavish herself with perfume and all things pretty smelling in celebration of not smelling like an ashtray.She will also wear her circle of friends bracelet with pride and will will (heh) her strength from this bracelet and what it stands for.


  6. ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will not, under any circumstances replace her nicotine addiction with any other addiction such as food, caffeine, yelling at people, etc.


  7. ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will reward herself appropriately and as she sees fit. She will ignore the eye rolls and the "uh huhs" she will receive from her supportive friends and family when she announces to them that she has in fact decided to quit smoking for the 10983409238409328th time. This will not phase her. She will instead use that negative energy to reinforce that "DAMNIT I CAN DO THIS" and prove all you poops wrong, for once.


  8. ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME will not be upset when people (aka BF) does not notice that she is in fact, not smoking. She will realize that eventhough this is the hardest thing she has had to do so far in life (omg the dramatics), not everyone has any FUCKING CLUE what it really means to quit smoking. She will instead support herself (see #7).


  9. During those rough times, ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME, will go to the gym or take a yoga class.


  10. ITSABOUTFUCKINGTIME is giving herself life as her birthday present to herself, beginning on the day before her 29th birthday. She will remember that this is the first step in the life of a healthy person and that this is a good thing and not OMG THE TORTURE OF IT ALL!


I, Tricia, will abide by the contractual obligations set forth in this document.

Signed,

Tricia

*twitch* pinky swear. *twitch*

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Introducing...Molly!


Hi!


Gimme the string, or the hand gets it.


Hey! Gimme!

okokokok I will stop...

But first! Here is some pics of the other two goobers. very funny expressions


You got WHAT at PetSmart?!?!?!


I am not amused.

OMG I'm the Cat Lady Now!!!

The boyfriend and I went over to Petsmart after dinner last night in search of these pill pockets jibbers in which to trick Blackberry into taking her medicine. I was determined to find these suckers but I guess the bf wasn't as interested cuz..

a. 2 minutes into being in the store he goes "yeah, I don't see them, lets go."
b. 5 minutes later he goes "ill just stop by the vet tomorrow, c'mon."

I shoulda said "ok" and off we would have gone.

but umm. no. I asked several people. found myself in the doggy aisles cuz hey! that makes sense! We did actually find some but they were beef...cuz..you know... DOGS LIKE BEEF.

Defeated, we walk away and then he says "there is the cutest kitten over there. all she wants is the pets." "The pets." I know it sounds odd to me too. Maybe its cuz im new to this whole pet-owner thing *shrug*. Ya'll know "the pets?"

Nevermind im getting distracted.

Anyway, so the thought of a cute kitten turns me into this giggling little girl, so I say "well, you know we are gonna have to go over there now."

big. effing. mistake.

I go inside the cat area and start petting, or giving "the pets" (wtf? is that weird to just me?) to the babies. I "aww" and "sweet baby" them all and then decide that maybe its time to leave. As I am walking out the cute one bf was talking about earlier sticks her paw out and it touches my shoulder. She does it again and her paw touches my face. My heart melts. But still! I move forward and out of the room.

We stop and read the little info sticker on her. As I am reading, bf goes "if you want her, you can have her."

omg I got this big grin on my face and said "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!"

he goes, "yeah." Apparently mine was not the only heart that melted.

"OMG! for my birthday *high pitched voice*???" (which, hmph. now no sparkly somethin. poo)

he says "sure." I am positive he is thinking "sweet! now I dont have to get her a gift!"

anyway anyway anyway. point is.

theres a 10-monthweek old kitty in my bathroom. She is the sweetest thing ever and starts to purr the minute you pick her up.

Her name is Molly.

Welcome to the family sweet girl.

oh and PS. the other two are LIVID. ha.

Monday, August 21, 2006

In recent news. . .

Tricia finally got some sleep! I know! I was cranky about it too!

It started Monday coincidentally/uncoincidentally when the bf went out of town (YET EFFING AGAIN...man "local travel only"--my freshly waxed ass). The last time I looked at the clock that night it was 2:30 am. My alarm goes off at 5:45 am. sweet.

Tuesday, I was up til 1:30 which was an improvement, however, MY ALARM GOES OFF AT 5:45AM! heh.

Wednesday, I WAS UP TIL FOUR AM. YES FOUR. To add insult to injury, carpool was going in to work early thursday morning, so my alarm went off at FIVE AM. gah.

Thursday, aside from Chiropractor appointment, I had nothing planned and good thing too. I went to bed at 1030. sweet relief.

Friday went to bed at midnight but not cuz I wasnt tired but because it was Friday and I always feel its lame to go to bed early on Friday. *shrug*

I slept til one on saturday though *happy sigh*

No issues since. phew. My chiropractor suggested I start taking a supplement called Sumi-e or SOOMEE or some shit. To regulate my "seratonin" which will help me sleep.

Hey I will try anything at this point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember this story? Well after being severly violated, I had dinner with K. And she...

...asked me to be her Maid of Honor. SQWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

omgomgomgomg I'm soooo excited about it! I felt all beauty pagaent like with the shocked face and hands covering my mouth "OMG! ME?!?!?"

haha I am a tard. yes.

Thank you K, you have made me feel very special. Whatever you need, I'm there dude.

I've already started research on maid-of-honor duties and hoooooooooooooooooooleeeee shizah! That's a lot of stuff!

I'm totally up for it though!

again, SQWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm dropping some poundage inexplicably. But hey, no complaints here! If I could only pinpoint what it is that I am doing and continue that...hmm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news, I turn 29 in like *counts on fingers* 5 (no, I really did count on my fingers) days. I've decided that perhaps this is a good time to consider quitting smoking. (ah shut-up, the lot of you!) We shall see. I feel I am ready. Though, I thought was ready the last 293872938742938 times. *sigh*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have resisted checking statcounter.com all weekend. *twitch* Im ok *doubletwitch*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20 days til Vacation! Is it just me or is time standing-still. TICK TOCK DAMNIT Bring on the Vacation already! *stomps foot*

Oh hah. Obviously I miscounted the first time. sheesh. I bet I didnt use my fingers that time.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Neuroses

I have noticed lately that omg! I am a freak!

Claudia showed me all about statscounter.com and well, I am now obsessed. There are like two of you out there that I haven't the faintest clue who you are but...

it says you have been on my blog for 23 hours 4 minutes and 20 seconds and umm...

that sort of...i dunno...wigs me out?

Anyway, this obsessive checking of my stats has also made me realize that I have quite a number of neuroses...quirks, if you will. *cough*

  1. I refresh statscounter.com all day long

  2. I check my blog for comments EVENTHOUGH I have it set up to email me when someone comments. (and btw. COMMENT YA TURDS)

  3. I worry about whether or not I locked my car..all. the. time.

  4. I set and check my alarm clock at least 5 times before I am satisfied that it is set. And yet? I still somehow screw it up and end up late to work occassionally

  5. at 1/2 of a tank I start to worry about getting stranded with no gas. I never have less than 1/4 of a tank.

  6. When I have like 5 cigarettes left in my pack, I'm like "OH NO! What if I run out before the end of the day! and then go in to conserve mode

  7. After I smoke for the last time at night, when I am home alone, I do this thing where I lock the back door and turn off the light, put the key on the table and walk to the end of the kitchen, turn off the light, pause, turn the light back on, turn around and check to see if I locked the door. Then I put the alarm on, turn the light off, put it back on, turn around and check again. Turn the light off. Then I walk to the hallway, put the stair light on, turn the foyer light on check that the front door is locked, turn the foyer light off, back on and check, back off and walk upstairs. Yes, I am serious.

  8. I am anal about having 39028420498 windows open on my computer. Must keep it all neat and tidy

  9. Also anal about the order of my databases that are open. again, neat and tidy!

  10. I cannot work until my desk is neat and tidy

  11. If I write a post-it and it is messy, I rewrite...sometimes I do it more than once

  12. I have found myself rewriting meeting notes. cuz! omg! messy!

  13. Dishes must be done the same night. The boyfriend and I have different views on the subject and have had heated debates. Yet? When he is out of town, I don't really care so much.

  14. I find myself washing my hands twice in a row each time I go to the bathroom. I only do it at work (the twice part, I mean).

  15. Oh yeah, this stuff too


yup. still a weirdo.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

House of Wax

Before I dive in, I should warn those of the male gender to just skip this post.

Really, its not interesting. It's all pink and fluffy and girly. With Fairies and Unicorns and Rainbow Brites.

No seriously, scoot the hell on.

I mean it!

Alright fine. Read if you must. But don't say I didn't warn ya...

So today after work, I received my first waxing....uhhh... downstairs.

*gasp* I know! Let me tell you, I have been freaked out all day about it.

Now usually, I take care of business on my own, but my friend had just done it and said it wasnt all that bad (E YOU LIE LIKE A DOG. Bitch. :P) and I am going to the beach for a week the week after labor day and well you know...one less thing to stress about. I have been getting my eyebrows and manlip waxed since...I dunno...high school, when I decided the brooke shields unibrow was so over. So I had an idea what I was in for (OR ya know, so I thought).

also? the manlip? God definitely has a sense of humor.

Yeah. HA HA. *growl*

I defy you to be half spanish and half german and NOT grow some hair.

ANYWAY.

Im driving along and about halfway there I guess it started to sink in--more--where I was traveling to and what my purpose was. Suddenly I got OB/GYN Waiting Room Bladder. You know the one. While you are sitting there waiting nervously, suddenly you go "Oh crap I have to pee! I should pee! Maybe I should wait til they call my name and then I will pee. Wait! I dont have to pee! OK OK OK I'm not gonna pee! Cuz! I totally don't have to!" and then you get undressed and on the table and you are all "FUCK. I SHOULD HAVE GODDAMN PEED!" Yeah, you know the one.

I told you fools to skip this one. Believe me now?

So I get to my appointment early. Accidently on purpose, hoping to get this over and done with quicker than planned. I got lucky and she was waiting for me. With her dark eyes and crooked evil grin. She knows she is evil.

So we walk to the back room and she asks me how I am doing. I say "Oh, I'm fine. This is my first time doing this so I am a bit nervous."

"bit"--understatement of the century.

She chuckles a little and says "ohhhhhhhh you'll be fine" Then I swear I heard an evil cackle. I tilt my head and look at her like "was that you?" She of course has no idea why the hell I am looking at her that way cuz I am obviously exaggerating for entertainment purposes. The following, I am afraid, is no exaggeration...

So we get in the room and she goes "so do you want to wear your own panties or do you want to wear these paper ones?" and she dangles this piece of string with a cocktail napkin glued to it.

Hi. I just said I have never done this before. HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW.

So I say "uhh...wow those are gonna be attractive (nervous laugh)...uhh I dunno...what is better?"

She shrugs and goes "Try these this time and see if you like them." And she leaves to give me some privacy. Which, I appreciated but learned later there was really no point to the privacy. I guess it's the thought of decorum that makes people feel more at ease.

Anyway so I put on the cocktail napkin on a string and climb onto the table and then I go "damnit. I should have peed!"

She knocks on the door and comes back in. She messes around at the counter behind me. Puts a towel on my lap and says "its not warm enough yet. I will be back."

WTF? Don't you do this all damn day. HOW could it not be warm enough?

Ugh so I sit and wait and look around at the walls. I looked up at the ceiling to see if there was a "hang in there baby poster" like my OB/GYN has on her ceiling (which ha ha awww so cute. wtf?) and was relieved to not find one.

She comes back in and messes around at the counter behind me and comes over in front of me with this glob of goo in her hand. --For those that know what I am talking about, I was being "sugared", not waxed. It's apparently better and "hurts less." sha. right.--She says "see this is the sugar, It is real sugar, you can even eat it."

Oddly enough, I am not hungry right now. But thanks! Good to know!

So she begins.

Then comes the searing pain. "HOLY SHIT! DID SHE JUST TAKE OFF MY SKIN!?!?!"

She blows on it. (WTF?) and goes "you good?"

Yeah. Im fantastic. May I have another?

The pain and the "OMG I WILL PAY YOU A MILLION DOLLARS TO STOP" and the blowing (seriously, wtf?) and the "you good?!!?!" at every single rip continues. Then she goes "OK! Almost done! Time to turn on your side."

um.

say what?

Well I wont go into detail but you get the idea.

Man, the things we girls do. sheesh.

Dentist Woes (man, I sure do complain a lot)

In the spring of 2004, I decided to suck it up and finally get my teeth straightened. I had seen Invisalign commercials and other propaganda a couple of times before and the whole "invisible" aspect of it really appealed to me. Looking like a 14 year old with a mouth full of metal? Not so much. I brought up the idea to my dentist because he had pamphlets and what not around his waiting room. Turns out, he is an authorized Invisalign "provider" so I did not even have to go to an Orthodontist! Bonus!

Anyway so we started the process of molds and pictures and back and forth with Invisalign to get just the right treatment. $4k later, I had invisible braces. The day I got them I was totally psyched about it...before the appointment. After the appointment, when I was back at work with a throbbing mouth? Umm...let's just say the excitement had disappated. Or should I say dispfffffffffffffffpated since I now talk like the sister on southpark.


Also, after I got my invisible braces when someone would mention something or see me putting them on or taking them off. I would get all giddy about it and then they would say "ya know, I never noticed that you needed braces."

awesome. so what am i paying $4k for, again?

So let's fast forward to this past April when I am on my 13th and final tray. Only. My teeth arent quite straight. and honestly? For $4k they better be perfect. Lucky for me, Invisalign offers one "refinement" for free. A refinement is basically another round of trays. OK, cool. So I go in and get another round of molds and pictures and am told it will take 2 to 3 weeks. This was April 6th.

May...nothing
June.. nothing
July... "Oh the doctor is busy with a patient can I have him call you back?"
July 12th...still no call. So I call back...in bitch mode...Phone call goes something like...

Ring

"Dr. aslkdjflskdjflsdfk's office, how may I help you?"

"Hi Elizabeth, this is Tricia, I still haven't heard from Dr. dslkfjsldfjsdlfkj, is he available?"

"This isn't Elizabeth, she is out of the country"

silence.

"mmmmmkkkay. Still need to know whats up with my Invisalign."

"He is busy with a patient, can I have him call you back"

"You could, but he isn't in to returning calls, can you tell me when he has an opening today so I can call then?"

"uh, hold on"

Dr. lsdkjflsdkfjlsafdj "Hey Trish! How's it going! Listen, I am so sorry this is taking so long theres been some problems with blah blah blah Im a male ditz blah blah blah. I will call you when I hear something. Oh! and I will give you a free whitening treatment to hopefully make up for you having to wait so long"

Me: "Oh cool! Sounds good! Hope to hear from you soon!"

Click

August 2nd, still no call. So I call cuz...damnit WTF?!?!

He answers the phone this time... haha. busted.

"Hey Dr. lkdsjflsdkjflsdfkjsdf, this is Tricia. Just calling to see whats up with my Invisalign stuff."

"I don't know what to tell you, it isnt here. And its only been like 3 weeks"

"well, its been 4 months actually, but ok"

"Yeah, theres been some problems with blah blah blah blah blah (general blowing smoke up my ass)"

"Well can you tell me how many more trays there are gonna be?"

"Hmm. Well I don't have that information in front of me, I will have to check my email. Can I call you back?"

"Yeah *looks at clock, its 330* I leave work at 4, so can you please call my cell phone"

"sure thing, I will call you at 430"

"ok"

click.

430...440...500....600..700. DAMNIT!

On a whim, I check my email, and lo...he sent me an email instead. Here it is, and I swear I have not modified a single letter:

"Dear Tricia,
I apologize again for the delay in your treatment. Initially in May it was my fault for not sending the case in for refinement until mid June. Then I went through the case submission process which has slightly changed this past 5 months, meaning there is a consultation firm (called PSA) contracting with Invisalign that pre-approves the steps, then it gets forwarded to me by which time I found out it was being treated as a NEW case with a new charge. I had to resubmit the submission package again since I wanted a refinement, you are not a new patient. Then from there the clincheck (which is the 3D modeling of your teeth) was done once by me which I didn't approve (15 aligners schedualed was not acceptable by me) so I submitted back with some changes that I requested. The screen capture file that I sent you has a new clincheck back by 8/17...however, I called them after talkign to you on Frid 4:20 ; they'll expedite the case. I'm sure everything will be ready to go by next week for the final manufacturing of the trays. I will forward the movie of the FINAL stages of teeth movement (CLINCHECK) to you as soon as I have it (that's how I would know exactly how many aligners are fabricated for your treatment). If you would like to examine it in 3D and give it one last approval you can pop-on over next week. It should take no more than 10 minutes. So I don't have a correct # of aligner answer for you now, but I'm guessing 9 aligners.
Also for your trouble of waiting so long, I'll be given you a take home bleaching treatment that is usually $300-400 at no charge. I'm sure you'll like your whiter/brighter smile over the years after this orthodontic treatment is over. If you don't want the whitening treatment, I'm willing to give you a brand new Sonicare Elite Professional package (model 7800)that retails for 160$. Again I feel bad for your delay and willing to give you a gift to hopefully make up for it.
Thanks for waiting patiently.
Have a good weekend.
Dr. ldkjsflsdkjflasdkfj, DDS"


When I first read this, I was like...YOU SOB!!!! This is your fault! s;ldfjsl;dfkjsl;dfkjl;dsfkj;dslfkjdslfkjds various other venting.

and then I realized. Man, at least he is honest (finally) and hell Im gonna get some free shit out of the deal. I was hoping to be done with this by the end of the summer...

but meh...

thats just how shit goes down in my world...:P

Monday, August 14, 2006

a hodgepodge o'stuff

For the first time in just over a month, I did my laundry in MY OWN HOUSE people! I don't think I have EVER been so psyched to do laundry in my life!

I also did yardwork, which btw?, OW OW OW OW. Seriously, I feel like I am walking funny. And bending over? oy. ouchies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boyfriend is going out of town for yet another week, and I have filled my week up with miscellaneous activities to keep me from realizing that he is in fact gone. Why it is so much harder for me with him gone than before I will probably never know. But what I do know? Is that I love him to bits. I feel it getting stonger lately.

and eventhough he drives me nuts with his half-ass attempts at helping out around the house. At least he is trying? Yes. This is how I will look at it. Otherwise? Ima beat him. So this is probably the better outlook for both my sanity and his unbruised skin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am contemplating hiring a personal trainer to get me motivated. While this seems like a fantastic idea, when I look at the numbers, my checkbook runs and hides....

1 Session $60
6 Sessions: $348
12 Sessions: $672
18 Sessions: $972
24 Sessions: $1248

*gulp*

Hey uh, anyone know a private trainer that is cheaper and has a gold's gym membership?

heh. crap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh and? 25 days til outer banks goodness. hot diggity dog.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Blood Pressure a'risin...a Story of Dryer Woes

so, my DRYER ISN'T FIXED YET.

YES, thats a month now of a non-working dryer. I'm so mad I could just spit (as my mom says). Here's some background:

July 8th - Me: OH FUCLASKJOIWEOFCRAPITALLTOHELL. Boyfriendddddddddddddddddddddd the dryer isn't workinggggggggggggg againnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

July 14th - First available appointment with GE repairdude. "Repair dude: Hmm ok so its your temperature thingy" ("thingy" - this is what my poor little female brain calls everything I cannot remember the name of). "Repair dude: Let me go out to the truck and see if I have the part" ....10 mins later..."Repair dude: Nope! I dont have that part! But I will order it and ship it here, here's my cell, call me when it comes in."

July 20th - 7PM(ish) - Phone rings. "Me: Hello?" "Automated Voice: This is GE Calling to confirm your appointment for tomorrow between 1 and 5pm. Press 1 to confirm." Blank stare to boyfriend. "Me: hmm...ok" Presses 1 on phone, and hangs up "So ok, we don't have the part, but we have an appointment. So either he pre-made the appointment and he is gonna show up and we have no part. OR he's an idiot and didnt ship it to the right place. cool."

July 21st - "Boyfriend: So, repairdude just called to say he was on his way. I asked him if he had the part cuz we sure don't and he doesn't so he isnt coming. If the part comes before 3pm (when he stops working for the day) then he will come. Otherwise, he will come on monday." "Me: sigh, ok"

3:30PM - package arrives. effing. brilliant.

July 24th - Different repair dude figures out that the previous repair dude misdiagnosed and he will have to order another part cuz! itsnotonthef------truck!

btw, WHAT THE HELL DO THEY HAVE ON THE DAMN TRUCK THEN I ASK!?!?!

July 28th - Repair dude comes in the morning vs. the afternoon when the appointment was supposed to be. So we have the duct guy in there sucking out whatever crap there is in the duct (which, btw THERE WASNT ANYTHING) and this repair dude idiot who spends at least 30 minutes on his walkie talkie with another dude who is walking him through how to put the machine back together (btw, W.T.F.!?!?!) ---oh and, while i was making conversation with the dear boy he tells me he is in an apprentice program and has been only doing this for 5 months.

me: outside: oh really? hmm interesting. inside: )#(*@)($*@#)$(*#@)*$)@#(*)@#(*

repairdude: starts dryer, waits a couple of seconds, sticks hand in dryer and says "see, all fixed. that'll be $149.99"

me: outside: "oh? I thought we were getting the part for free" him: "yes ma'am, this is only labor"

me: inside- "here, should I bend over this way or is there some other way you would like to do this" outside- hands over credit card

July 31st - at home. rash on hands (don't ask). Decide to finally get around to doing laundry since this is about the only thing I am capable of all drugged up.

1 hr later: check dryer. OH HELL NO! THERES NO LASKJFLSDK HEAT. omg omg omg omg.im gonna stab people.

5 minutes later: back on phone with uber polite GE people *cough* blood pressure rises, and I get all twitchy. "No earlier appts than August 7th? umm.. I.DONT.THINK.SO. *various yelling and screaming and LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR.NOW.*" "appointment on the 3rd between 1 and 5 pm? fantastic. I have to take more time off work! Yay! *seethe* inside: YOU PEOPLE F'ING SUCK!

August 3rd - Repair dude from the first appointment: "sooooo....still having problems" Me: bites tongue very hard "yup *sigh*" Repair dude on phone with tech people and customer relations blah blah blah and me getting on phone and yelling and screaming and LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR RIGHT NOW. repair dude leaves me with list of parts needed (that are backordered--OF COURSE THEY ARE!). Also? these parts? SAME SHITS THAT WERE REPLACED THE FRIDAY BEFORE. YES. Half a load in the dryer and pfffffft dead parts. excellent.

my god. if you have made it this far in this post. you have earned yourself a gold star.

let me wrap it up. Basically after yelling and screaming and twitching. We will be getting a new machine!

for the low low price of $240.

It is a $800 machine so I guess we are getting a good deal and we are going to have a year warranty on it and if the machine breaks in the first seven days (which, for the love of god it better not!) they will replace it and not try to repair--for free.

also, it will be here in five to seven business days. lasdkjflskdjflsdfkjslfdk

I was gonna also write about my dentist woes but gah. im done here.

Friday, July 21, 2006

I didnt even have to use my A.K., I got to say was (IS) a good day

ahhh ice cube...

Anyway lots of things about today are fantastico, I will enumerate, however one is no more important than the other.

  1. Sweet sweet chiropractic goodness. Now, eventhough the shoulder is still throbbing and when I stop typing my pink sorta uh keeps moving, I feel as though I am on the road to recovery and that is a blessed thought *happy sigh*

  2. I got to wear jeans today. Sure, I have to pay $3 to wear the jeans but, so friggin what. I.GET.TO.WEAR.JEANS. If it was free, sure that'd be sweeter, but I live in reality and this is plenty sweet for me :)

  3. I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT! *giggle* Yes, alright it is with the dude I live with and YES FINE its with the dude I have spent the last decade with but HOLY CRAP! We are gonna like GET DRESSED UP! AND GO EAT AT RUTH'S CHRIS! I MIGHT EVEN WEAR A SKIRT! And, alright fine, his work is paying for it in appreciation for significant others who put up with all the BS, but hey! We are going to a place with like CLOTH NAPKINS! And it is no one's birthday! sweet.

  4. CAR.POOL. and it's not my week to drive. and it's not my week next week either! oh happy day!

  5. I dont feel overly vile and ugly today, though I am sure I do look it. I am ignorning it!

  6. IT'S FRIGGIN FRIDAY BITCHES! YEEHAW!

  7. Our dryer just might get fixed today! So our dryer died like 3 weeks ago. I stayed home last friday so that the repairman could come fix the silly thing (this is the second time since we purchased the sucker in 04) but, of course, he didnt have the part in the truck. Cuz, ya know, why bother carrying parts in a repair truck? That'd be silly. So the part is to be shipped to our house and then we are to call the feller on his cell and he will come over and finish the fixin'. So I call him yesterday cuz WTF NO PART YET!?!?! and left a message for him to call me back with perhaps some tracking information or maybe who I can talk to instead to find status of said part. No call, but we did get a call from GE confirming our appointment for today. Which means 1 of 2 things:

    1. He got the part and made the appointment,

    2. He made the appointment last week when he ordered the part and he is going to come over and we will have no part. We'll see how it goes but wouldnt that be cool if it was #1?

  8. I am still exhausted, but I got an actual good nights sleep last night. (Bless you sleepy time tea) and I've got 7.5 hours left in my work day. sweet.

  9. I am eating oatmeal for breakfast like a good girl, finally.

  10. ITS FRICKIN FRIDAY BITCHES!

:)