I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

So the other day, I was on the phone with kegOfSunshine and had to stop to get gas because i had 1/4 of a 1/4 of a tank and I was beyond twitchy about it. So I'm on the phone, take out my checkcard, select my gas grade and I stick the thingy in the thingy and flip the thingy that makes it go all by itself while I stand around staring blankly with my mouth hanging open til it clicks. Because clearly, I am too busy to hold it myself.

And then I put my checkcard on top of the car because I didnt have pockets in the dress pants I was wearing, and the holding of the cell phone was obviously the maximum capacity for my hands.

Yes.

So I'm talkin talkin talkin while these mexican fellers on the other side of the thingy stare at me, all "why this chick hab her mout open like dat esse?" and the thingy clicks. I close my mouth and put the thingy back on the ......... stand thingy and I get in my car.

I get off the phone with kegOfSunshine and I am driving down the road, ecstatic about the lack of traffic for a Monday. And then the hamsters wake up and I go

"UH! I DIDN'T PICK UP MY CARD FROM ON TOP OF THE CAR! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!"

So I turn around and go back because surely the card would have flown off the car when I first started to drive off.

*blink* what?

At this point all i can think about is the mexican fellers and how those shits stole my credit card! YES! CUZ AM RETARDED! ALSO! Racist against my own half race apparently!

So I get back to the pump I was at, get out of the car and I walk around and look for my card.

Nothin.

So I go over to where I drove out of the gas station. Nothin there.

Then Im like, "well fuck." and get back in my car and drive off. Then I get to the intersection that I recall flying out into to make the light. So I stop, no one is behind me and I take a look around.

AND I FIND A CREDIT CARD! YAY!

but oops not mine :(

Seems I'm not the only moron in the hood ;)

So I get back in the car and proceed to work. I get on my cell phone and call my bank to cancel the card so that those mexican fellers no one can pay for shit with my card. MUH MONEY BITCHES.

So I'm on hold listening to the calming music, and I finally get someone.

"Hi, I just lost my checkcard. I put it on top of my car when I was pumping gas and I drove off without getting it. I just went back and checked and I couldnt find it. So I need to cancel this..."

and my cell phone dies.

ha. ha. HA.

So I get to work, all frazzled because OMG THEY ARE GONNA SPEND ALL MY MONEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and I cancel my card. Will be getting new one in 5 to 7 Business Days. yay!

The next day when carpool was getting out of my car, one of the guys goes "hey, is this yours?!"

AND HANDS ME MY CHECKCARD.

it was stuck between the rear window and the top of the trunk.

jesus.

By now its too late to cancel the cancellation, so not only am I having to deal with all the moving crap, but now I gotta make sure that all my auto pay stuff has gotten changed over, lest I get like LATE FEES or somethin.

All because I didn't have any damn pockets in my dress pants that day.

WTF WITH NO POCKETS IN WOMENS DRESS PANTS PEOPLE.

*wimper*

Tick. Tock.

Hey guess what I just realized? ... like 5 minutes ago.

First... HOLY SHIT ITS FRIGGIN JULY ALREADY.

and second... in exactly 16 days, counting today, our sorry little procrastinating asses will be on the road, with our cats knocked out and all our belongings on a truck headed towards North Carolina.

*lip quiver*

So I should like...do some stuff this weekend methinks. Whoever hid June from me--you are officially on my list.

Say, I could really use that blinking trick I dream of Jeanie had right about now. If any of you know how I might get my hands on something like that, please be a doll and let me know.

shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

Make a New Plan Stan

(hop on the bus gus)

Feast your eyes on this bad boy that I like to call "MOVE-A-PALOOZA." Catchy, no?

MOVE-A-PALOOZA '07
19th - Leave 2 hours early from work to do whatever is left before packers show up tomorrow morning
20th - Get packed up
21st - Load up truck and travel to NC
22nd- Unload/Begin unpack
23rd- Unpack
24th- Fly up early AM to be in da hood in time for carpet cleaning that is scheduled for early afternoon
25th - Handyman at house to fix a varied list of things
26th- Clean house / Parents get packed up
27th - Parents move in
28th/29th - Stay in VA... no point in traveling 6 hours one-way only to have to return to be at work here for a mandatory something or other.
30th-31st Work in VA; Drive to NC after whateverTheHellMandatory @ work. Probably get to NC around midnight(ish). sweet. Did I mention MANDATORY!?! Yes? Ok. nm then.
1st - Unpack
2nd- Unpack
3rd- back to work.. at home. I know. Only so much sympathy can be surmised from that.

But COME ON. Overall. Thats a busy time dude. Also when I am back up in VA for final stuff on VA house, I'm going to try and do some work. Yes. Cuz I thrive on stress. Also, am an i.d.i.o.t. But that's been established.

Meanwhile BF is gonna be "unpacking" in NC.

uh huh.

Excuse me while I go sob quietly in the corner.

The Closing

It is official man. We have a house in Charlotte. With an address and a trash can and everything!

Aside from the BULLSHIT that happened the day of the closing, of which we wont speak of lest I spit venom once again. (And really. I just got that shit under control.)

I'm just being dramatic really. It wasn't that bad. Could've been worse. Like a nuclear bomb coulda dropped or something. *blink*

ANYWAY. so Friday, when the dust settled and i packed the drama queen up in my backpack, we returned to the house. OUR house. and holy moses dude, I am soooooooo excited. The house is GORGEOUS and the neighborhood is like neighborly (I got waved at people! MULTIPLE TIMES! I! KNOW!) and the city is beautiful! and and and and! YAY TO MOVING!

also. it doesnt friggin snow much in Charlotte--so I am told! and God bless America for that cuz, hoooo boy I hate snow.

We still have far to go in our my little "Operation Clean Sweep" mission, but believe you me it will happen. oh yes. Even if I have to throw out all his crap he hasn't needed in the 3 years we have been in the townhouse while he is on travel next week.

I MEAN IT MISTER! Don't test me!

Also, yes. That's right. ON TRAVEL. A WEEK BEFORE WE MOVE. YES. jesus.