New Year's Quiz

Because I am in love with Sundry, she asked for people to do a quiz, and by God I'm gonna do it.

Also, hey look! a reason for a post!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got laid off, interviewed for jobs...

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha. No. I'm thinking new year's resolutions are just there to show what a horrible follow througher (what?) I am...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, K & J had sweet little Dylan

4. Did anyone close to you die?
BF's grandmother :(

5. What countries did you visit?
Does Northern Virginia count as a whole other country? I think it does.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A JOB. heh. Well, and determination and motivation to quit and become a real no-shit non-smoker. That would rule. Also, thin. Being thin would be so great.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
[dramaqueen]Dec. 11th. The day I got laid off[/dramaqeen]

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I lost 25 lbs!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I started smoking again

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ugly bad cold that turned into Bronchitis/Walking Pneumonia. Pre-school germs aint no joke.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy it, technically. But BF paying for KegOfSunshine and her girls to come down for my birthday was HANDS DOWN the best. Ever.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
BF--he ceases to amaze me. What a big heart that boy has *swoon*


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My former employer, and before that, my own.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills *sigh*

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
OUR HOUSE! KegOfSunshine's Visit. With my Brother's and BF, pooling our resources together and giving my parents some help financially. You could see the stress melt away from their faces. Such a great feeling.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Weird, I cant think of one. Ask me in a few years.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? uh... I'm feeling pretty good today, but lately have been teetering on the sad face side
b) thinner or fatter? THINNER!!! YAY ME!!!
c) richer or poorer? *cough*

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelling

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with BF and the cats

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, fell in love with BF all over again. AWWWWW

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Uhm, just one? I'd have to say Eli Stone. Which is being canceled. Evil people. OK TWO! Mad Men. Hands down.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I'm sorry to say, yes.

24. What was the best book you read?
I think I read a whole ONE book this year...no idea what the name of it now.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ROCKBAND! Or was that last year?

26. What did you want and get?
Love and Affection. Yes and Yes.

27. What did you want and not get?
I can't think of anything, so it seems that I am very blessed.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh god, I dont even know. Pursuit of Happiness comes to mind, but that was last year no? Oh, who cares...Pursuit of Happiness.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
KegOfSunshine came to visit, as a surprise. And what a surprise it was! 31. Gah, don't remind me...

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ending the year employed for starters...

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Comfy is IN

32. What kept you sane?
BF

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mark Ruffalo. LOVE him.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election! I hope all the talk turns into real action.

35. Who did you miss?
Everyone.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone (ha. im cheating)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Be loyal to yourself. Be dedicated to yourself. Life changes quickly, you can handle it!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Well shit, first you wanted an entire song, now you want some lyrics too? Hmm...

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... dont live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and youll find love,
And dont forget son,
There is someone up above.

(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich mans gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

(chorus)

Boy, dont you worry... youll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

(chorus)

Happy New Year Kids! Make it a great one! Much Love!

If you get called in to a room with 30 of your co-workers. It's not a good thing.

So, about two weeks ago, I was laid off (Merry Christmas!) by the company I have worked for since I was 19, along with about 30 of my co-workers--with not a penny of severance (Happy New Year!). To say that I am bitter and angry is more than an understatement, however, I will spare you the explicatives.

And while I do play the victim role very well, I have found that I am very angry with myself. I should have left a long time ago. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit when the money well runs dry. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit either way, given the things I have seen over the years. I was stupid--I was comfortable, I was WAY too secure in my job, thinking my tenure would save me. I was so very very wrong, and it's broken my heart. The timing alone is just so shitty, both for losing a job and trying to acquire a new one. And I'm, you know, not the most patient girl in the world. So, I'm basically driving myself crazy.

I accept that because I was a telecommuter, and the Owner of the company being none-too-keen on telecommuting, I was an easy mark. However, that doesn't make HOW this was done OK in my book. I have learned a very important lesson, and it's early on in my career, so that's probably a good thing.

Some other things I have learned:

1. Keep your external resume up to date, you unbelievable idiot
2. Design your damn portfolio already
3. The concept of Family has no place in the business world. It's meaningless. End of story.
   
4. KEEP YOUR RESUME UP TO DATE GOD DAMNIT.
5. The economy is pure shit, I am not alone.
6. BF is an amazing man.
7. Heartbreak comes in all shapes and sizes
8. That shit about keeping 3 months salary in your account at all times? I shoulda listened.
9. Christmas without friends and family is depressing. But BF can make any shit day seem magical.
10. You can feel so very guilty even when it isnt your fault.
11. Be dedicated to yourself. Be loyal to yourself.
12. I am serious about the resume, gooby!
13. Having your resume done, and a "good enough" portfolio complete 4 days after being laid off is pretty awesome. You are a good soldier.
14. No job is safe. No matter how long you've been there or how loyal and dedicated you are. In the end, it counts for nothing.
15. A job is a paycheck, don't make it personal.
    

We skipped gift-giving this year, for obvious reasons, as well as the crazy travel plan we had in store for ourselves. We're just chillin' at the house with the cats. BF plays XBOX, and I do endless searches for jobs and chat with other ex-employees, some current. Lots and lots of chatting. There's a permanent dent in the couch now where my ass has been planted since we got home from Virginia. I am slowly coming out of my funk, and the hyperventilating has subsided. I havent had a breakdown in like 2 days, so things are looking up. Roll your eyes at me all you want, this shook me to the core.

I am full-on smoking.

Surprised? Yeah, me neither. I walked out of the building that day and promptly bought a pack of cigarettes, and haven't looked back. I plan on quitting the day I receive a job offer, but you know how well I commit to my declarations.

Looking back, I remember watching the news about the millions of people getting laid off without severance, or somehow unfairly. I remember thinking "thank god I have this job. I'm safe from all that!" Which is pretty ironic. Speaking of ironic, the night before I got laid off I tweeted, AND I QUOTE:

Came home frm work, worked out, now dinner, then guess what? More work! Awesome. :( i guess I should b happy I have a job, huh? And yet...

Dontcha Think? A little tooooo ironic...

It was the same when 9/11 happened. I was in drawing class, and the professor came in and announced there was some kind of bomb or something at the twin towers. I thought nothing of it, since this wasnt the first time. That was, until the Dean came into the room and announced that a plane had hit the pentagon and they are shutting down the school, we should leave immediately. I was scared as I drove home. I was heartbroken for all those people who lost their lives for no reason. The images of people jumping from the buildings is burned in my brain. But it wasn't personal. And then three days later I learned the neighbor of BF's parents was in the pentagon and was missing. It was weeks before his remains were found. There is now a memorial between the two houses, forever reminding us all how fragile life is. If I have learned anything from my personal history, maybe the next time I think it's not affecting me, I should realize that it's about to affect me.

I do have my health, and I do have BF who has been incredibly supportive and positive. I am blessed to have him in my life, as well kegOfSunshine who makes any day seem just a little brighter.

I have lost all trust in the company I once loved and felt this sense of obligation towards. When I hear my future employers speak about how we're "family" I am going to have to resist the urge to run like hell.

The opposite of NaBloPoMo

For the past couple of years, I've been all, "I am joining NaBloPoMo! And I shall post everyday for 30 days, yes, yes I will!" and then I don't because. Well there's no reason.

So this year I decided to do the opposite and NOT post for 30 days. Actually 46 days. Hows THAT for sticking it to the man!

Uh, well, not really. I just didnt blog. For reasons unknown. But, let me tell you I wrote some doozies in my head. Hoooooo boy the funny that comes out of this mind sometimes, I tell ya. I remember none of it now, naturally. It was THAT important.

Anyway, so hi! How are you guys doing? I'm doing okie dokie I suppose. I'm losing weight (!) Kinda slowish, kinda not. Kinda cheating a lot so thats why it's slowish. Kinda not working out as much as I should. As a matter of fact, my jiggly ass is supposed to be in front of the TV sweating with Jillian as I sit here and type. This is sorta, vaguely, kinda not the same as working out. Don't split hairs with me, mister!

I'm kinda uninterested in work. I'm what you might call "burned out." Not that I dont have work to do because TRUST ME I've got a full plate over here. And its not that the work isnt challenging, I just... would much rather stare at the wall then do actual work. I fight this urge of course because I am supposedly this responsible adult and have like BILLS to pay. And I hear you can't draw a salary from staring at the wall. I did, however, take the last two weeks off of December. Those two weeks cannot come fast enough. I'm equally horrified and overjoyed that it is December already. Horrified because I gotta begin the tradition of racking my brain for the perfect gift for everyone--that which I usually fail at. Overjoyed, because T-W-O W-E-E-K-S O-F-F. GOD BLESS VACATION TIME.

Not that those two weeks are gonna be filled with lazy, as much as I would like them to. I've got family and work obligations, and the travel alone is mind boggling: I go to Virginia the 7th for a week for work, I leave the 12th. Come back to VA the 22nd, go to Southern Maryland the evening of the 25th, drive back home the 29th. THEN, I go BACK to Virginia, January 4th for a week. For Work. Can you hear me whining? Cuz I'm whining. LOUDLY.

See kids, this is what happens when you move to a state where neither relatives nor job headquarters resides. North Carolina still rules though so don't go getting any crazy ideas KegOfSunshine. I love you dude, but theres no way in hell im moving back. Nope.

Also, and don't faint now, I am sorta smoking again. I say sorta cuz it hasnt been everyday all day, its more like my moments of weakness are occurring more often than my moments of willpower. If you get my meaning. So *sigh* I bought a box of Nicorette yesterday, and a pack of cigarettes.

WHAT? Girl has to have one last hoorah.

Oh shutup.

And its winter now, which pisses me off. Cold and Ice and Snow and blah. Hate it. The upside is that coats, jackets, jeans and sweaters I could not wear last year, now fit. So there's that.

Well thats all very negative and bratty isnt it?

Ok, so on a positive note: IM LOSING WEIGHT PEOPLE! BF is the best man in the world, ever. EVER. Cats are all healthy and meowy. I got a new car! With NAV so I don't get lost anymore! Hardly ever anyway! I love our house! Im still not unpacked but so what! I bought Rockband 2! I haven't it yet though! And um, I think I actually like quilting!

Oh right, I didnt mention that. Yeah so, while in Colorado, I was in a quilt shop with BF's mom, sister and Aunt. I have been uninterested up to this point because the country quilts are ugly to me and I just don't like the designs. I am not a fan of kitties on my sweaters either, if you know what Im saying. But this store had like cool looking quilts. Cute Quilts even.

And so, I decided I would give it a whirl. If for nothing more than to have something to talk to BF's Mom about other than the weather, cats, and BF. BF's Mom got very excited about this, and gave me one of her sewing machines to use. I havent used a sewing machine since 8th grade Home Ec, but it's apparently just like riding a bike. Nevermind that I dont know how to ride a bike. Anyway, I signed up for a class here, and I am 85% done with my first quilt! And even though this beginner pattern is very much the type of thing that turned me off about quilts in the first place, DUDE I MADE SOMETHING! And yeah, the fabrics I picked suck ass too. But whatever. I MADE SOMETHING! I planned on making BF's mom a christmas quilt for christmas, but I am not done with this first quilt yet so it will have to be for her birthday. And then I remembered, oh yeah, her birthday is New Year's Eve. So yeah, her present is gonna be a leeetle late. heh.

K, I better go do something before my entire evening disappears on me.

PEACE OUT YA'LL.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Originally uploaded by Grfxgrl

This here is our new guest. Our very UNINVITED new guest. Grosssssss!

I'm still swatting an invisible things on myself because I'm all heebie jeebied out about this dude.

Is there such a thing as a season for spiders? Also, WTF IS IT!?!?! IS IT POISONOUS?!?!

Say, is that why spiders and their webs are associated with Halloween? Cuz it's the season for 'em? Maybe?

AND! Earlier today, I caught the cats swatting and going all nuts at something. I figured it was a moth or a lady bug.

Not so much, it turns out. It was a centipede (millipede perhaps?) with elentytrillion little legs and the little pinchers at the end of it's body. Which one is poisonous?!

No worries though, cuz I took him outside and looked out later to find him trekking back up to the house. Which is exactly when I promptly went out there and squooshed him to smithereens. Survival of the fittest, bitch!

Ugh, the joys of living out in the boonies, huh.

Alright, Ive gotta run. I've got some important swatting at invisible things to do *shiver*.

An Exercise in Optimism

Friends, September was an all-around shit month. However, taking a lesson from my lovely kegOfSunshine, I am trying to look at things as she would. She's got a sunny disposition in the face of every situation she has encountered since I've met her, and as a result is far happier than the average human. And me, I'd rather be happy than all pissy so we're gonna try things her way this time around.

Even though September is now in the past, and the dark clouds have moved along and the point of writing about this now is...well... moot. Talking to kegOfSunshine this weekend just brought it all home for me. And it's a reason to blog. So get comfy.

Saturday afternoon I am on the phone with kegOfSunshine and she is telling me how her car needs expensive repairs AGAIN and she cant afford it, and how she had to cancel today's plans because of some other stuff she was getting done to the car, etc. etc.

Now, If this was me talking, I'd be more uh hysterical, with tears streaming, all "OMG DUDE WTF AM I GONNA DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM DOOOOOOOOOMED. WAHHHHHHHHHH." Cursing the heavens, and other dramatics.

Instead, she seems...quite happy? about it? and says in the next breath, "At least, because of this I didnt take the girls to [the thing she had to cancel] and risk something bad happening while driving!"

I must be wired wrong cuz that silver-lining shit just doesn't enter my head.

I am used to her looking at the glass full in all situations, but it struck me this weekend that maybe I should try the same. Having just gone through a bout of bad luck, I thought it'd be a good exercise to reflect on some of those situations and look at them from a different perspective. Behold:

1. Colorado Vacation was extended due to BF's Grandmother passing in the wee hours of the morning the day we were supposed to fly out. We stayed 5 extra days, which incurred more flight fees, longer hotel stay which meant WAY HIGHER hotel bill, extending car rental, leaving my co-workers in a bit of a lurch cuz I was unavailable for these 5 days helping the family tend to funeral stuff and providing comfort where I could, falling off the goddamn diet I just started because we ran out of our meds.

Silver Lining: At least we were there, and everyone got to say goodbye. We all got to speak with her in some fashion before she let go. AND We were able to spend extended time with family, of whom we hardly ever see.

2. Cousin's kid caught a cold. Two days later BF's sister and I are down and out. 6 days later I am diagnosed with Bronchitis, possibly Walking Pneumonia. Awesome.

Silver Lining: I was able to spend some one on one time with the kids, and got to know them better now that they are no longer babies. I helped build a building! Out of Legos! I havent done that in forever! Legos rock.

3. Car breaks down while I am in Northern Virginia. Mother of Hell

Silver Lining: Friend helps us out, and fixes the car. Car still not running as it did, but it got me home! We'd been toying with the idea of getting a new car and selling this one. This whole debacle (it was a true debacle, but I havent the patience to go through the whole story) sent us over the edge. The weekend I got home, we went out looking and ended up making a purchase. Yay new car!

4. Was off diet for 3 weeks. )(*#$@#)(#$@#$!@#)

Silver Lining: Went in to restart once I was 100% better, was weighed and told I had lost 5 lbs of pure fat! I've been on for a week now and feel awesome, my clothes are already fitting better! First 3 days of the diet is pure hell, but I am on day 7! So no more hell! I get weighed tonight so I am not sure what the official result will be, but I think I've lost 7lbs! In a week! HOT DIGGITY!

So, kegOfSunshine: How's that for optimism?

Bad Grammar, extremely long sentences, and overuse of the comma

So, hi! I turned 31 last week. Which means I am for real in my 30's. I knew it was coming, but man it feels very sudden and uh...weird. I still feel like im 22ish. Though, I do pop randomly when I move around (bones popping), so it's obvious im NOT in fact 22. And I have to wear glasses to sing on RockBand, and I wear an ankle brace on my right ankle mostly lots these days, and I get sleepy at 10pm, and I see a chiropractor weekly. But, you know, whatever. I'll embrace it eventually.

Next eeek moment: 35.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BF did the most amazing thing this weekend, more on that later. Just know that he rules. Rules way hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not a declaration, more like fact: I unpacked my willpower yesterday and signed myself up for a Medically supervised weight loss program. Today is day 1, and I haven't cheated thus far. Its 8:30, so I'm pretty positive that I will make it today. AND may I just add that BF is out of town, so I could totally cheat. But there's this pesky food/activity journal I have to fill out that's keeping me honest. I could lie on it, but what would be the point of that. I am paying...paying a lot...for this so, the only person I'd be hurting is my fat self. So why not just do it, and reap the rewards, know what I'm sayin'?

The stats they got from their little weight machine were pretty...uhh horrific:

Height: 5'4" (I FRIGGIN GREW!!! YAY!!)
Weight: Seriously? You know I am to vain to divulge that. I'll tell you when I am no longer weighing 80jillion pounds, k?
BMI: 33.8 *gulp*
Fat %: 50.1% (JFC)
Fat Mass: 98.8 lb
FFM (my bones and whatever): 98.4lbs
TBW (Total Body Water): 72.0lb

Desirable Ranges:
BMI: 18.5 - 24.9
Fat %: 21-33%
Fat Mass: 26.2-48.4lb

So yeah, fatty has some work to do.

BF signed up too, so this will be awesome being able to do it together and I won't find myself lovingly eyeing his plate of whatever I cant eat--or vice versa. And that, my friends, is a GOOD THING cuz we have this tendency to give into each other's whims without a second thought.

The program entails 3 phases. I'm too lazy to type out all that, so just go read if you are interested.

I spent 50 minutes waiting in the waiting room before I was seen yesterday, and that pissed me off. But I'm told thats a rare occurrence and blah blah. Uh huh. Vee shall see missy, vee shall see.

Im allowed 500 calories this week. 500 calories of protein. Now, when they told me that I chuckled, because ARE YOU FRIGGIN INSANE?! But! part of the supplements they give us is a appetite suppressant, and surprisingly enough, I wasn't hungry once today. I actually had to force myself to eat. I was that un-hungry non-hungry not hungry. I'm feeling a little jittery, anxious, something wherein I cannot sit for long periods of time. Which probably just means that its energy and my brain is confused about what exactly energy IS.

Im supposed to drink 128 ounces of water per day.

Let me just tell you how much water that is: A. LOT.

And when you drink that much water, guess what you have to do lots: PEE.

Did you know that 500 calories a day is hard to get in when you arent hungry? One of the injections I get, the side-effect is that you lose the craving for carbs. And when they told me that yesterday, I piffled because obviously they dont know me at all.

Turns out they were right!

So far I have eaten today:
4 oz. Fat Free Cottage Cheese (which is not yummy by itself) = 70 calories
1 Propel Fitness Water, Berry = 20 calories
6 Slices of Deli Turkey Meat = 45 calories
1 stick of string cheese = 80 calories
1 vanilla low carb/high protein shake = 250 calories (I know! what the deal! That's half my daily caloric intake people!)
Total Calories = 465

I STILL HAVE 35 CALORIES TO EAT PEOPLE. So I gotta find some protein worth 35 calories to shove down my throat because, guess what: IM NOT HUNGRY. AT ALL.

Crazy, right?

Anyway, so I go back in on Friday to get more injections and weighed and stuff since im on vacay next week. A secret little--okokok--LARGE part of myself hopes that I will show some progress when I go on Friday, 3 days into this, uh, "lifestyle". Something. Water? Fat? Weight? SOMETHING. BF lost several percentages of Body Fat after doing it FOR ONE DAY.

Did you hear that? That's the start of a ruthless competition.

I'm coming after you, suckah.

Snappy Title

Some updates in list form! Yay!

• Got my hair cut today, and it looks suspiciously like Posh Spice I just realized. Well, Posh Spice with a double-chin. It's way cute, I assure you


• I've lost 7 lbs!


• My hairstylist is pregnant!


• I am not! (Not that there was a concern, I'm just saying...)


• My hairstylist said my hair felt thicker!


• Got FREE ASPRIN at CVS today!


• What? I did.


• Really crazy, overwhelmingly busy at work.


• My dreams lately are about doing work. And I actually solved an issue once, no lie


• Need more handsome stranger dreams, if you know what I am saying--and I think that you do. Ahem


• Got a wii fit! My wii fit age was 43 when I started. Is now 38, 7 days later. How bout them apples?


• General volume of energy is optimal, even though I stopped taking the iron supplements over a month ago. I uhh... sorta decided I was done. I dunno know why. Perhaps it was all the jacking up of my tummy that I was done with. Need to go to get bloodwork done to verify I am all okie dokie.


• Rediscovered Grilled vegetables. Mother of all deliciousness they are tasty! I'm even eating the occassional grilled red pepper! Seriously!


• Still refusing to use proper grammar when blogging


• Mad Men is my new favorite show

How are you guys?

For real, for real?

So, OK I am not going to make another declaration. Because I lack follow-through--I feel like I've said this before--and dont uh.. you know FOLLOW THROUGH on the shit I say I'm gonna do. And really, how many posts can you people read before you start rolling your eyes and saying "sure Trish, sure. Uh huh"

I realize you all already do this. Lets just go with the theory that you dont k?

ANYWAY...So instead, Im gonna say...

I'm gonna do some shit, OK? And you may or may not see a change in me in the coming weeks and that will be because I may or may not have followed through.

See so either way, I did what I said I was gonna do. Whether its what I meant to do, or what my lazy ass ENDED UP DOING, isnt the point. Cuz I covered my bases see. Im brilliant, I know.

Anyway, whatever. We'll see I guess. I'd just like to say though that I have been quite successful with the not smoking bit. I cant even remember when I quit now, it's been that long. Now, I will admit that I have bummed once or twice from people I know who still smoke, but it's usually on the rare occasion when I have an alcoholic beverage in my hand. And please, before you say anything. Shut-up. I love you though, kisses.

Since when does "occasion" have only one S? That looks so wrong to me.

By the way, may I just say: The number of people I know who still smoke? Decreasing. Fast. Who the hell am I gonna bum from now dammit?!

I mean... GOOD JOB GUYS! REALLY! BRAVO! YAY TO LONGER HEALTHIER LIVES!

Seriously? Dammit is spelled "Dammit" and not "Damnit"??? SINCE WHEN?

The spell checker is blowing my mind, it's obviously time for sleepy. xo

Conversations

On the way back to the hotel last week, after visting J&K and their new bundle of precious, we may or may not have had this conversation (I say may or may not because I am not entirely sure I wasn't dreaming this because W-T-F. OVER.):

Me: Man, I am soooooo not ready for all that! Did you even see me? His neck was all wobbly! I coulda like, broken his neck for pete's sake! I had NO idea what I was doing. OMG, sooooooooooooo not ready. Are you ready? You're not ready, right?

BF: [longer than OK pause]

Me: [Possibly shrieking, I can't be sure] YOU'RE READY FOR KIDS!?!?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!?

BF: Well I...

Me: [Definitely shrieking now I am pretty positive, because WHAT THE F!] SERIOUSLY!!!!????!!!????

BF: I dunno... I just...

Me: [Mild Hyperventilating]

BF: I mean if we DID start, it wouldnt be...

Me: [Yes, definitely shrieking] W..Wa..WAIIITTTT A MINUTE

BF: What?

Me: Aren't you skipping a step here mister?

BF: ...

Me: MARRIAGE HELLO

BF: Oh... yeah. Well sure.

Me: WELL!? SURE!?

BF: Yeah but, you're definitely not ready though huh.

Me: [Brain exploding]

Mr. FunnyPants

I was in NOVA last week for work, and got invited to this team-outing thing at a driving range. I told BF about it on the phone...

Me: ...Yeah, and uhh, I went to a driving range a couple of years ago, I forget why now, and I couldn't hit one frickin' ball to save my life. I remember being very frustrated so this should be a hoot.

BF: Oh man, I wish I could be there to see this.

Me: Uh... why. So you can see me suck it?

BF: Yeah, I just imagine you ... well just not being good at it.

Me: Aw, thanks...

BF: I can just see it. You swinging and missing. Repeatedly.

Me: That's not nice.

BF: Well, I mean you aren't exactly athletic.

Me: ... and you are...? [Overly Defensive. I admit it]

BF: Or! Or! You swing and miss the ball and fall on your ass!

Me: ... yeah so, how was your day.

BF: If there's beer involved you gotta videotape this event.

Me: jackass.

BF: What?!? That shit is gonna be funny!

Then again...

It's hard to sit around all in pain when you've got this energy coursing through your veins. Also known as OXYGEN. Holy crap people, who knew this stuff was so good? At the same time, the pain seems to suck the energy right out of me. So, I haven't been working out as much as I should (I said "ish"!). And I want to. I want to so badly. But as soon as I start jumping around all uncoordinated in front my TV and waving my arms around, something pinches or a shooting pain goes this way or that...

and I say "oh f this" and go sit down.

My heart is in the right place at least, right?

Chiropractor seems to be slowly helping so, you know, the whining will ebb eventually. SWEAR.

In other news, our kitten, Molly, eats string cheese, Doritos, french fries, and whipped cream*. She will have nothing to do with chicken, tuna, or ham. This cat is me, reincarnated. Only I am still here. The other two are far more interested in the chicken, tuna, and ham so it works out.

*In addition to regular cat food, yes. God, what do you people take me for? Then again, we DID feed her string cheese, Doritos, French Fries, and whipped cream (not at the same time though! So there's that!), so I guess I am not the greatest pet owner in all the land. Shut up.

MAH SHOULDER HURTS. WAH.

So remember last year, when I was all, ZOMG CHIROPRACTOR MAN! I LUB YEW TO PIECES! I SHALL ERECT MANY STATUES AND SCULPTURES IN YOUR NAME BECAUSE YOU RULE AND YOU MADE IT ALL BETTER. I LOVE YOU ! Call me, k?

Well I moved to another state, and decided since I was feeling fine, I wouldn't bother finding another down here.

WELL GUESS WHAT.

I BET YOU CAN GUESS!

Yes! Shit is even worse now! I cringe when I turn my head to the left cuz I get a shooting pain on the right side of my neck, which makes driving a hoot. My right shoulder and neck are in a constant state of bunched up nerves, muscles, throbby, achey. I got shooting pains going down my right arm. Muscle spasms in the shoulder area randomly during the day. When I go to bed, my lower back spasms IN A PAINFUL WAY for 5 minutes when I first lie down. It's a big ol bag of OW in that area. When I described my back to kegofsunshine earlier today, I used the phrase "JACKED UP" cuz that seemed to be the only words to summarize it accurately.

(Aw, Drama Queen! How nice of you to visit!)

I've put off going for a couple of reasons:

1. AM. MORON
2. In an internal discussion area at work, some chick posted an article about how some lady got her back aligned by her chiropractor then later that evening? BOOM! stroke. So I got all twitchy about it.


3. $15 copay per visit. Knowing that the Dr. is going to want to see me 2 to 3 times a week for a while, it adds up. And I wanna buy shoes :(


4. What?


5. I lie. I havent bought new shoes in 3 months. so ha.


6. Though... it is summer now...

There are actual reasons in that list. I leave it to you to decipher.

So after several months of ignoring it, a handful of weeks of going "oh shit, it's back. wait shhhh maybe it'll go away," one WHOLE weekend on a heating pad, And dirty looks from BF, I gave in and found me a chiropractor here. I've gone yesterday and today. I don't feel better. I know it will take time. But still. NOT FEELING BETTER OVER HERE.

Oh yeah, plus this: As an added bonus, it was apparently Receptionist's first day on the job, and she told me that with my insurance coverage, I was responsible for a $10 copay PLUS 50% of all services rendered. I drove home from appointment on Monday in shock, after having paid $50. For ONE visit.

YEAH FIFTY BUCKS. I was hyperventilating over $15. I told the receptionist and the Dr. that "I have never paid over $15 for a visit. Never ever. ... ever."

The second "ever" was to show these people that I meant business and I wasn't happy!

But I paid anyway! Cuz I am a total sucker! And maybe my coverage did change!?! Highly unlikely! But surely this girl who has been on the job FOR A DAY knows better than I.

I anger easily when I am in pain, see.

I received a call this morning "so, yeah we found out that your copay is actually $15, no deductible, and unlimited visits. So you have a couple of future visits credited. Very sorry about that."

To which I really wanted to say " BOOOOYAH BIATCH I DONE TOLD YOU!!!"

But I didn't cuz I remembered I am mature.

What? I AM.

Things are lookin' up!

So either the Iron is doing its job, or it's all in my head. Either way: ENERGY. I HAS IT. Sure, it still comes in waves and once the wave crests (umm. thats right, isnt it?), this girl is pooped. And I plop right down on the couch for some good ole fashioned wall-staring.

But man, in between the plopping (ew), I am a productive little girl these days. I'm working out (ish), I'm cleaning, I'm tracking down the tumbleweeds of fur around the house that have just started appearing, along with the increase in hacked up fur balls. Mmmm tasty. By the way, product plug. If you are having trouble with pet fur, try this miracle of miracles, this genius of geniuses: [Vanna White hand movements] THE FURMINATAH. Like AHNALD would say it. BECAUSE IT AMUSES ME. THATS WHY.

GOD.

Anyway. So I'm pretty stoked that I am feeling better.

Oh yeah, Lazy Eye Update: New, less head-tilting name Amblyopia. And by head tilting, I mean when I tell somebody about my lazy eye they tilt their head to their right and stare directly at my left eye quizzically. Whereupon, I have to say "yeah its not a lazy eye in that its looking left and im looking right, it's that its weaker and my brain doesnt really use it." "Oh......???"

And besides, {hair toss},the term "Lazy Eye" is considered by some to be PEJORATIVE.{Nose in the Air} Commoners.

Read the 3rd paragraph of the Amblyopia link, then come back and laugh because DAMN IM FUNNY.

Anyway. So come to find out the youngest of my brothers also has it. And he's nearly legally blind in that particular eye. He's 42. SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, NO? He was patched as a child but it didnt fix it. I was not patched, but I do remember some pretty kickin' pink Jordache spectacles when I was 6 or 7.

I went to an Ophthalmologist? Opthamologist? OphoEYEmologist? EYE MD to see if I could get a second opinion for the "ha. sucks to be you." diagnosis/treatment I had received previously. This doctor explained it to me, and I now understand. Here's my treatment: HA HA NOTHIN. SUCKER. Surgery would do nothing, because lasik is no better than lens correction and since no lenses can correct it at this point, I'm SOL. *sniff*

Apparently, this can be corrected before the age of 11. Once past this age, your brain figures out that this eye doesn't work so good so the brain trains itself to stop using it, and overworks the non-gimpy eye. Patching the good eye is one way to fix it. This forces the brain the use the gimpy eye. Also, glasses. Once past the age of 11, your brain is old and set in it's ways. Old Dog, new tricks. Know what I'm sayin'. And since I am a wee bit past the age of 11, my brain, she creaks at this point.

Neither treatments worked for my brother or I. So now we're stuck in spectacles for the rest of our lives. Woe.

I wonder what one contact would be like? Would I be lopsided?

In other news, no appearance of cankles in WEEKS. but shhhhhhhhhhhh don't say it too loud.

So, how are you guys?

Psssssst. The comment link? see that down there? Use it, k? xo, me.

Hi.

I've been trying to live out in the real world more and not hide behind my laptop lately. With these random spurts of energy I keep having (YAYYYYYYYYYY IRON I <3 YOU!!), who has time to sit around and stare at the wall?

I'm kidding. I still have plenty of occasions to stare at the wall. Baby steps, people.

Mostly the problem is that I have all these cool (ya know, cool to me) ideas for hysterical, genius (hysterical, genius--to me) postings. And then I get to my laptop and prepare to type and I...

All together now!

DRAW A BLANK!

Who knew how genius that blog title was? Total accident. I couldn't think of anything else. Just like me naming my Guitar Hero Band "Flip Flop" cuz I couldn't think of anything else (I'm starting to see a theme here) and then spotted the FLIP FLOP ON MY FOOT.

Its staggering, how brilliant I am. I know.

In search of new eyes...

So a couple of days ago, I went to get my eyeballs looked at because it's starting to worry me a little *cough* that when I try to look at the time on the microwave when I am standing in the living room, it's a green blur. It didn't used to be a green blur. In fact. I remember actual numbers. Yet, even when I squint, I still can't see it. :(

ORRRRRR say if I am playing rockband. I have to wear my glasses to read the lyrics. That's not very rock 'n roll. :(

ORRRRRRRRr say driving. If I wanna see a road sign before I'm up on it, my glasses better be on my face or I could possibly run right into the end of a street before realizing what's going on. I kid. I kid. But the exit signs are blurry until I'm right on 'em. HEY! Maybe that's why I missed my exit home that one time!

ORrrrrr.. well I could go on. Point is: far away? Tricia no see.

Anyway so at Optometrist appointment and I get past the glaucoma test finally. Here's the thing about that. I can touch my own eyeball. But if I'm trying to put drops in, or if someone else is trying to? Heh. Good luck mister. And it's apparently hard to shoot a puff of air into someone's eye when it's fluttering like a hummingbird. Who knew?

Moving along...

So we're doing the whole "1 better, or 2? 3 better or 4?" and she keeps going "that's so strange!!" And then she says "I think you have a lazy eye!"

She sounds so excited about it, too. And, I dunno, call me crazy. But Lazy Eye is not something I would be getting excited about. My definition of "lazy eye" is when one eye is looking forward and the other is all "dude, check this over here on the left!" Apparently, that's not the only definition of a lazy eye. She says I have the type wherein it cant be corrected with lenses. Then she goes on to tell me that my current prescription is basically a piece of glass in my left, lazy eye, and an actual prescription in the right. And that the reason why my eyesight is getting worse is because my right eye is working overtime trying to help out the gimpy left one.

She didn't say gimpy, I just added it for comedic effect. Did it work?

So if I am understanding this correctly, I could walk around with one spectacle like the Monopoly dude and have the same affect (jesus WHICH IS IT? affect? effect?) as the dual spectacles I presently own?

Sidenote: The only picture I could find of the Monopoly Man with said singular spectacle is here and it doesn't even look like the real dude anyway. Why do I remember this guy having a single spectacle? Maybe it was years ago and I am showing my age?

Anyway, not the point.

So later on, after she dialates my eyes to check for disease in said lazy eye, (Which btw, thanks for that. I'm now a vampire. Noooooooooooo the sun!! It's so bright!!! Im meltingggggg!!!!) I'm waiting for a friend to meet me for dinner to put off the driving home with that blinding day star in my face. So, to kill some time, I call my parents and tell them the news, they reply with AND I QUOTE:

"Oh yeah, you've had that since you were a kid!"

...

1. So why have I not had glasses all my life?
2. WTF. These are things you tell your child people. Seriously.

P.S. No more doctors. My body is crap. I GET IT.

Where Mah Hairz At?!

Those of you who know me, know that I am fairly self-conscious (ahem) of the fact that my hair is thinning in the front of my head. The neuroses is (are?) mostly due to my mom forcibly pounding the front of her head with her forefinger and saying "Trishy! Your bald spot is showing!" Right there in the middle of dinner for my entire family to hear. At which point everyone's eyes focus squarely on my forehead.

I love her so.

And I know, I know. It's lame to blame things on your parents. But seriously? When the Woman is out in public with me and does the stomping on her head with her forefinger thing and talks through her teeth at me, after a while, a girl becomes really self-conscious.

But lately, I've been noticing it like a lot all on my own. The finger stomping is now in another state, so there's no one else to call it out to me. Except the mirrors. Sweet jesus, the mirrors! I see it all.the.time.now. So I talked to my hair stylist and she recommended I go see a dermatologist. I've gone to dermatologists before, and all they do is look at my scalp and go "hmm yeah looks like female something or other sucks to be you-itis" Whatever the word is for female genetic hair loss. I forget.

Here's the thing though. No woman in my family is losing their hair and the female elders of the family still have full heads of hair. Sure, on some its thin, but it's not like you can see their scalp or anything. The men are, however, a completely different story. I've heard it both ways. It comes from your dad's side. It comes from your mom's side. Blah Blah.

Point is: Females. Either Side. Full heads of hair!

So I thought I'd give it another go. So there I was. Sitting in the exam room I was. Thinking about just exactly I wanted to tell her, and oh! dont forget to tell her [whatever]!

BTW, I obsess. (surprise!) I obsess about making sure I tell the doctor everything. I invariably forget something. I've even started writing things down now so that I will remember. Hello, neuroticville, table for 1.

So this time I was writing on my iPhone on my little "notes" app. Think notepad only apple-ified, and thus WAY COOLER. NO! WAY COOLER I SAID! She walks in, and I drop the phone in my purse. And then immediately go blank.

She introduces herself and we shake hands, "So what can I help you with today"

I think for a moment ("durrrr..."), and then reach for my phone, the hamsters awake and I go (ding!) "Oh yeah, my hair is thinning in the front"

Anyway. This story is getting far longer than necessary.

So she made me go get bloodwork after the appointment. Her office called me this morning.

Guess who's anemic. Anemia, that which could lead to hair loss, fatigue, weight gain (caused by aforementioned fatigue), etc.

CHECK, CHECK, AND FRIGGIN CHECK!

I swear to god, I've had bloodwork done before. Nobody mentioned anemia. Ever.

So I ran out to the store after work to get me some Iron, Vitamin C (better absorption of Iron), and Fiber supplements (cuz taking iron makes your bowels all none worky. oh fun)! Yay pills! Pills to fix me! Wheeee Pills!

And hey! NOW I KNOW WHY IM SO DAMN COLD ALL THE TIME!

I hope this works. I could use more hair on my head, more energy and a little less girth around the mid-section, thats fo sho!

Tips to Prevent PMS

I saw these words in my inbox and thought "yes! finally! *fistpump*" and eagerly clicked the link. I figured I'd read some things I already know, like avoid caffeine, avoid foods high in sodium, exercise, drink water, etc. But I figured surely, since they bothered to take the time to send out an email, they would have a few new kernels of wisdom.

Right? Well, here's their wisdom.

AND I QUOTE:

Because doctors are not exactly sure what causes PMS, there is no way to prevent it. However, you may be able to alleviate some PMS symptoms by leading a healthier lifestyle.

Well knock me down and slap me silly, thats INCREDIBLY USEFUL INFO. THANKS EVER SO MUCH FOR SENDING OUT THAT EMAIL.

In search of new ankles...

I totally bit it on the way to my car from the grocery store. I was pushing the cart along, overflowing with stuff, iPhone in hand. Because, I don't know, I fancy myself as someone important. Who could receive a call at any second! Must be ready!

The goal for the grocery store was to acquire umm, hamburger meat I think, I left with over $100 of stuff (P.S. its creepy how fast that happens).

I slipped on the word "Stop" painted on the concrete in my worn out crocks flip-flops. It had just rained, one of those monsoon rains that downpours for 5 minutes and disappears. And I guess the combination of the wet ground, no doubt mixed with oil, the slickness of the white paint and the fact that my shoes no longer had tread = Tricia fall down, go boom.

Or you know, the fact that I am a complete klutz, could have had something to do with it.

I slipped, twisted my ankle. Grasped my phone and the handle bar of the grocery cart and somehow fell to my knees, never letting go. I heard the familiar pop that I've heard more than enough times that I have lost count.

There was a woman in front of me emptying her cart into the back of her SUV. She gasped, and said "Are you OK?!"

Still kneeling in the middle of the parking lot, still grasping handle bar and phone, I wince "um.. yeah i think so"

and then I proceed to walk to the side of the road ON MY KNEES. STILL PUSHING THE CART. STILL WITH PHONE IN HAND (my precious). I think I did this because I have twisted/sprained my ankle enough to know that I cannot always put weight on it immediately, and walking on my knees was my solution.

Vaguely graceful, no?

I'm OK now, the popping always happens. And with me and my sad little ankles, the popping means nothing. They pop when I take my first steps out of bed every morning. They pop when I take my first steps after sitting for a time. It's a normal thing. It's sore and I'm kinda limpy, but that's more probably due to the fact that I am a big fat baby. Wah.

I really need to get cracking on those strengthening exercises. Somebody remind me tomorrow.

It's high time we had a list

1. Going to San Francisco in a week for a conference and I'm twitchy about it. Being by myself. All by myself. In a city I've never been to makes me twitchy. wah.


2. Taebo Bootcamp Elite, Mission 1: Make Tricia's Body Ooze Pain--Accomplished. *wince*


3. Blackberry knows when its medication, even if you switched to ointment to be rubbed on the inside of the ears. It's equally terrifying. And don't you even dare come near me human. I WILL CUT YOU.


4. Bought a pink laptop bag from ebags that is just darling. Part of the cost was donated to Susan B. Komen Foundation. I am a fantastic human.


5. Spent ummm... A LOT at the grocery store yesterday afternoon. Then, had Chinese for dinner. I R BRAT.


6. Made kick-ass dinner tonight to make up for it. Karma restored.


7. Any chance I can drop 10lbs between now and the time I get on the plane next Monday? NO? WATCH ME.


8. WHAT IN THE SAM HELL DO I PACK TO GO TO THIS PLACE. I keep hearing its windy and chilly, but nice and warm during the day. But seriously, chilly. Chilly for whom? Normal warm-blooded humans, or me? hmmm? ANSWERS PEOPLE. I NEED THEM.


9. So uh, hey. Anyone wanna hang in San Francisco next week with me? It'll be loads of fun!


10. C'mon :(

Thank You Detroit!

So I was a good girl and put my tax refund in my savings account and declared to only use it when absolutely necessary.

And then I caved and used some of it to buy Rockband at Target. Woopsy.

When we were putting it together, I unwrapped the drum sticks and smiled. I had an instant flashback to me laying on my bed coloring and my brother playing drums on the back of my thigh. Or my stomach, or my arm--whatever was available or made the best sound I guess. I could smell the house and I could hear him "ratta tat tat brtrrtrtrtrtrtrtrt"ing. So weird how random objects will take you back in time and that time will be so vivid. I miss hanging out with my brothers.

Vocals and Guitar I pretty much have down but MAN do I feel ridiculous trying to play the drums, arms all flailing about and leg stomping and stammering at all the wrong times. I've never felt so out of rhythm in my entire life.

I love this game with my whole heart! Seriously!

Anyway, gotta run! I've got a drum kit to master.

A Day in the Life of the Blank Mind

0730: Alarm Goes off, hit snooze

0740-0820: Continue to swat at alarm clock. Honestly, I don't know why I bother setting it.

0845: Peep clock with one eyeball, fly out of bed and start shower, brush teefs. Admire the bed head. I remind myself a lot of Axl Rose circa Welcome to the Jungle--34 seconds in.

0855: Out of shower, q-tip the ears. Cannot skip this step. Q-tipping = bliss. I am addicted.

0857: (Yes, Two whole minutes to Q-Tip. I'm telling you, its an important step dude)
Grab whatever t-shirt and trackpants/warm-up pants/workout shorts/jeans/whatever i cant wear in the office nanny nanny boo boo and throw it on

0859: Grab phone and water bottle from night stand

0900: Say bye to all the felines as if I am leaving the house. I dont know, so don't ask.

0901: Log in to work. Read email, etc. *yawn* Think to myself "so when's vacation again?"

0915: Notice that I am freezing, then realize OH YEAH MY HAIR IS STILL WET.

0916: Blow-dry hair at my desk, keeping eye on screen should anyone msg me. What happens if Im not there! They'll think im slacking!

0920: Go to kitchen and acquire some form of breakfast food. OR NOT. depending on how busy I am

1130/Noonish (depending on how hungry I am): Contemplate lunch. This can go one of two ways: 1. I grab some crap from the kitchen and go back to desk or 2. Decide going out for something is good choice. Figure out what the closest places are, do the math on how fast i can get there in back (usually nothing faster than half an hour, suck.)

1230: Eat at desk, continue to work

1245 (oh lets be honest, throughout the day): Peer over at personal computer for email, tweets, etc.

1700: Oh, would ya look at that! its 5! I should log off.

1705: Hang on, lemme just do this real quick.

1745: Real quick my ass

1800: Wander out of office and proceed directly to couch to cuddle up with blanket. BF says the office is the hottest room in the house. Whatevs, I disagree. brrr.

1830: Watch Everybody Loves Raymond Reruns. Cannot get enough of this show. Raymond is an exact duplicate of my middle brother. EXACT. It's creepy a little.

1915: Peel myself off couch and do some chores (maybe), kick some imaginary ass, taebo-style. Perhaps prepare dinner, or we go out.

2030: Screw around on computer while watching TV

2100: Ditto

2200: Ditto

2230: Go "SHIT! It's 1030 already!"

2300: "SHIT! It's 11 already!?!"

2400: Terrorize Blackberry with anxiety pill we have to shoot down her throat. Remove whole cat that is now left on my tshirt. She molts when freaked out. Watch Late show.

2430: Put earplugs in ears and sigh loudly while tossing and turning which is code for "TURN THE TV OFF ALREADY" HI. I R BITCH.

0100: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

No wonder I'm so tired all the time. YOU TRY KEEPING THAT SCHEDULE.

[Edited to Add]: Fixed times, i fail at military time. Theres no friggin 2430 ya moron.

[Edited to remove my previous edit]: HAHA YES THERE IS. JESUS.

Cankles

Speaking of being pregnant, which is to say that I'm not! so proceed with the breathing (don't be freaking crazy people! jesus! you scared me too!), but a couple of weeks ago I encountered a much treasured side-effect of pregnancy--cankles.

affect? effect?

So at my last oil change appointment (as BF affectionately calls it), my doctor decided to change my birth control pills for seemingly no reason, other than he had samples of it versus what I was currently on at the time. Makes PERFECT sense.

Fucking hell man, I shoulda resisted. Ever since the change from Yasmine to Yaz, I've been what one would describe as...now, how did they put it... oh right, BITCH ON WHEELS!

LET ME JUST TELL YOU HOW FUN THAT IS:

I have actually stepped outside myself while yelling at BF for ... I dunno.. BREATHING probably. Looked myself up and down, looked at him, pointed at her (er... me?) and said "She's serious, isn't she?!"

Mother of all moodswings, dude, I was seriously out of control.

One minute, I am sulky and depressed, complaining about how fat I am. Woe *sniff*
Him: "aww sweetheart you arent fat!"
Me: "DONT PATRONIZE ME! I KNOW IM FAT"
Him (wide-eyed, with the "ok, what just happened" look): "uhhm, I wasn't"
Me: "DONT SAY YOU WERENT CUZ I KNOW YOU WERE! I DONT NEED YOU PATRONIZING ME!"
[spit flying from my foamy mouth]
Him: " "
Me: "WHAT! Tell me what you are thinking right now rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
Him: "... --- ... / ... --- ... / ... --- ..."
Me: "WOULD YOU STOP THAT TAPPING! GOD!"

I should buy him some flowers or something.

Added to that--yes! there's more!--I had a rather large water retention issue. In that all water consumed, went in, but I had zero water going out.

Do me a favor. Close your mouth and press your lips together. Now fill your mouth with air so that your cheeks are taut--this is vaguely close to how i felt. Comfy, no?

This little morsel of joy showed up Saturday the day before we traveled to NOVA. And let me just tell you, 6 hours in the car doesn't help water retention issues at all.

Every day it seemed to get worse, Tuesday I was miserable and spent the morning researching natural diuretics because OMG IM HAVING TO SQUEEZE MY FEET INTO MY SHOES!

Upon completing research, I marchedwaddled over to the kitchen and grabbed every kind of tea bag that contained anything remotely sounding like the herbs I found on the internet.

Herbs found on internet:
Dandelion Root
Green Tea
Yarrow

Herbs found in kitchen:
Green Tea
Black Tea
Earl Grey
Raspberry tea
Love Lemon
(what?)

and added a tea bag of KegOfSunshine's "skinny tea"

added all 6 teabags (yes) to the one styrofoam cup of steamy water and steeped for like 20 minutes. The more steeped the stronger, no?

Let me just tell you how good that shit was.

bleh.

I took a dose midol complete because on the bottle, it said it helped with bloating.

I worked out every evening.

I went to the vitamin shoppe and bought a dandelion root pill FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.

and nothing! No Improvement! Every day i walked from the office to the hotel room (which is like, I dunno 150 feet plus one flight of stairs) and I was FRIGGIN WINDED by the time I got to the hotel door. Which Hi! I know I'm out of shape, but give me a break, Im not THAT out of shape!

I went to lunch with my team to a joint across the street from our office. I walked there and back with my team, my feet squeezed into my ballet shoes (WHICH STILL DIDNT SEEM TO STAY ON MY HEELS ANYWAY GODDAMN HORRIBLE SHOES), my body squeezed into my ill-fitting clothes, the skin on my fingers so tight that I could hardly make a fist. I was literally straining the seams of my own body. I tried hard to keep up without actually looking like I was about to die.

Friday, it was finally time to go home, wherein I cried THREE TIMES on the drive back.

And then ye gods decided to put me out of my girl misery and girl week commenced upon my return home (3 days late, I might add) and all fluids exited my body, the bones returned to my feet, my hands once again forming a fist comfortably and clothes fitting more comfortably! Shoes able to be worn with socks! PRAISE JEBUS!

I switched back to Yasmine that weekend.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself "But Tricia! Those girls on the commercial! At the bar! Talking about birth control and one happens to be a OB/GYN (whats up with that, I mean come fucking on), says that Yaz is less hormones and will alleviate PMS and Bloating, etc."

To which I will nod, close my eyes, take a deep breath and wimper. Because, I DONT GET IT EITHER.

Moral of the Story: Don't switch Birth Control without sufficient justification.

Note: FREE SAMPLES IS NOT SUFFICIENT JUSTIFICATION, CHEAPASS.

on Children

Say, have I mentioned that EVERYONE around me is pregnant? Seriously! K&J, our dear friends that got married late last year are pregnant (yay you guys! Congrats!) and my friend J is pregnant too and...

OK WHATEVER ONLY TWO. Seems like a lot, OK?

WHAT?

Anyway, it's got me thinkin' about uhm... kids. More specifically, me HAVING said kids. Because, obviously, the time has come for such things! And, to be quite honest, the mere thought of that really just makes me want to run in the opposite direction screaming.

I'm not even kidding.

Dude, I like freeze up when a kid gets near me. I have no idea what to say or do around them. I know NOTHING about taking care of kids. The fact that a 7-year-old kid can irritate the ever-loving shit out of me (because HI! YES I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU! SHUTUP ALREADY!), can't be a good sign I'm thinking.

And I don't really get that because when I was a teenager I babysat a fair amount. Not that babysitting indicates future Mother of the Year awards but, I remember being vaguely good at it. Able to make kids smile and giggle. I was a friggin baby whisperer compared to what I am now man.

Exhibit A: Out with Tree for our Valentine's Day date with her adorable little man. They had run off to the bathroom, again, all in the name of keeping the little man entertained because a 30 minute wait? At a mexican restaurant? WHAT? I was starting to get twitchy myself, so I understand how he must've been feeling.

ANYWAY so they are off killing time checking out the wonders of the public restroom and the hostess let's me know that we are finally up for a table! Whee! So I sit down, and ask her before she runs off for a high chair.

A HIGH CHAIR. FOR AN ALMOST FOUR YEAR OLD. YES.

Tree finally arrives at the table and I say proudly "I got a high chair!" She looked at the chair and then at me, perplexed, and said "oh uhh... we dont need a um.. a high chair?"

Her voice raised an octive as you do when you ask a question, because in her head she was probably thinking "Are you serious?" Followed promptly by, " You're an idiot."

Because hi! baby = high chair. What do you want from me ;)

Exhibit B: My Nephew, we'll just call him Holy Terror In Sneakers because HOLY MOTHER OF SUGAR HIGHS THAT BOY... he... he's like. WOW. just... wow. Anyway, when he gets in one of his moods where he runs around in circles and screams. I sorta just...

Well I basically find myself wide-eyed with my hands up surrender-style, standing absolutely still, taking short shallow breaths. Because if I move! The velociraptor will see me! and attack me! eeeeeeeee!

See what I mean?

I've always thought that I wanted kids, but now I am not so sure. In addition to the freezing... dude, just the idea of physically having the thing? Makes me cross my legs and wince. Seriously.

This feeling is replaced with "awwwwww baby! I want I want!" right? Eventually?

Please say yes.

At the car wash

BF and I deemed today "National Take the Day off Work Day." Waking up on a workday without the alarm? Pure Bliss, and you should try it. Immediately.

We were on our way to lunch for Soup! Salad! and Breadsticks! The genius lunch that is just so friggin goooooooooooood. And we stopped at a car wash to "check it out." BF, like most men, is particular about his car--and the washing of said car is no exception. There are many points to an "awesome" drive-thru car wash. Don't even try to understand it, but among the many requirements, there was one that had yet been met since we moved down here. We were in search of a dryer at the end of the car wash. Because air drying is unacceptable! Water Spots! OMG THE WATER SPOTS!!!

and lo! This one had one!

Upon realizing, this particular car wash had one, he said AND I QUOTE: "Yeah, thas what daddy like"

Then he read the car wash menu and fixed his eyes upon the words "TRIPLE FOAM" and well, I've never seen him reach for his wallet with such speed and determination.

He makes his purchase, drool already collecting in the corners of his mouth, and we roll into the bay and stop when the light tells us. BF puts the car in park and checks the windows AGAIN for the THIRD time. Content that the windows are seriously closed, he then focuses on the arms that are now moving swiftly around the car. He switches his attention to the sign that tells us what phase we are in, and I swear to you, I havent seen that kind of focus and eagerness in his eyes in quite some time. He reminded me of the kid he once was (or is...I mean HI!), it was completely adorable. All wide-eyed, watching the arms move around the car. Watching out the front window, then the side, then looking in the rear-view lest he miss the party going on in the back.

And then the TRIPLE FOAM phase came.

He said "doesnt that just look so cool!?!"

I looked at the window, as the pink, green, and yellow slowly ooozed down the window--far less impressed--and noddded, "mmhmm"

Then it was over and it was time to dry. There was a sign directing us to where the dryer timer was, and as we inched forward, he inched his head forward and squinted.

"I can't see it!"

So, I read the red numbers as they ticked by, while he inched the car forward ever so slowly--because, god forbid we miss a single second of dryness that is rightly ours afterall!

"10...9....8...7...6..."

when we got to 4, we rolled back a little to catch those last seconds.

Guys are so hilarious sometimes.

Engine Engine Number Nine

Ya know, not much happens when you work from home. Nothing blog-worthy anyway. Though I am sure some would argue that most of my past topics weren't blog-worthy either. But I ignore them. Or apply duck tape to their mouths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A friend of ours swooped into town this past weekend with her usual mix of big smiles, mass amounts of wit, and lots of laughs. I love her to pieces. Please come more often m'kay? We gots room yo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BF went to the grocery store for me this week. NO. SHIT. *fist pump*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ass: Still Fat
Jeans: Still Falling--even with belt
Water Consumption: Inconsistent
Vitamin Intake: Inconsistent
Gym Visits: !!!!!!INCONSISTENT MOTHER OF HELL!!!!!!!!
Pounds Lost: still need a scale.
Wall Staring: Surplus. Mad Surplus
Smoking: Smoked Saturday evening *sigh* Margaritas were involved. I'm weak.
Bon Jovi: Still in car. Meaningful pointing continues.

And you guys? How are ya'll doin?

Now with 50% less whining!

So yeah, that last post was a little whiney wasn't it? Sorry about that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BF has been out of town since two Saturday's ago. I was out of town from two Sunday's ago to this past Friday. Using dates would probably be easier, but then I'd have to go find a calendar. And I'm really comfy right now, so just try to follow me here.

All last week when I was in Virginia, my parents kept suggesting that maybe I should stay through the weekend. Or, why don't I stay next week too? You can work from home! The roof of my mouth started to get itchy cuz...another week with my parents? Hmm.. tempting.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But.. yeah. I wanted to go home.

So I left at noon on Friday like I always do. The trip home was longer than usual. Who knew President's Day Holiday was a traveling holiday! I missed the exit for 485 which is the highway that runs by the house.

No IDEA how that shit happened. But really, thats mostly expected of me by now, isn't it?

After cursing loudly and repeatedly for several minutes and passing SEVERAL exits that I could've totally gotten off on and turned around, I finally picked an exit, turned around and sat in traffic for a half hour, which was awesome.

So I finally got home, and aside from the cats and the tick of the clock on the wall, the house was eerily quiet. Usually, BF is at home when I get home and he wasn't.

I normally revel in my time alone but this time was different for some reason, and I have no idea why really.

The bonus was that this was a three day weekend! By myself! HOOOO BOY! ALL THE THINGS I COULD DO!!! BY MYSELF!

LIKE!... I DUNNO!

I honestly thought this weekend was gonna rule, cuz I'd be alone and umm.. stuff?

I was wrong.

JFC I've never been so bored in my entire life. I updated my flickr page, I checked twitter more than a normal human should. I did laundry, picked up the house eventhough hi! I've been gone for a week--what is there to pick up? I went grocery shopping, dropped off prescriptions, picked up prescriptions. I ORGANIZED MY PANTRY.

IM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

Tree, whom I had a date with Valentine's Day Night (wait, what?), had given me "Martian Child" to watch. I had to watch it twice, cuz I wasn't even paying attention the first time. THATS HOW BORED I WAS. I COULDNT EVEN FOCUS. WITH ALL THE LIKE... BOREDOM!

John Cusack...*dreamy sigh* The second time though, the movie was really good! Thanks Tree!

Monday night, I went to dinner with some of BF's co-workers (at his suggestion, dont be weird) because I NEEDED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

So yeah. BF comes home Friday. So I have several more boring evenings ahead. Woe is me.

Got my number? CALL ME PLS!

Oh hey, I said less whining... maybe next time, k?

on Smoking

When I was a child, I hated smoking. I hated that it would make my very long hair smell like an ashtray, and my clothes. I used to complain to my mother and she'd nod in agreement, but that's all we could do was vent. By ourselves in the car--our one and only smoke-free environment. All 3 of my brothers and my father smoked. We were the minority in the household and certainly weren't going to get them to smoke OUTSIDE instead of filling up our cozy little home with that awful smell. After that one lesson in health class, I had begun to give them weekly lectures about how with every cigarette they smoked, they were taking 7 minutes off their life. And didn't they think that was awful? They should quit. It shouldn't be that hard! I was very naive.

Fast forward to me... 8th grade. My friend Jenn and I started sneaking cigarettes from our parent's packs for no real reason other than sheer boredom. We were too old to play, and not quite old enough to be hanging out at the mall like the high school kids. So we hung out in the woods and smoked instead. No one was the wiser since we always smelled like smoke anyway. Instead of candy or ice cream, we purchased Marlboro Red's from our neighborhood ice cream man.

High school. Smoked with my best friend Jennie (different girl) as she drove me home in her truck. She had to sit on her foot to drive because she was short. Shorter than me, if you can believe that. I never did smoke in the bathroom or behind the building at school. I was a good bad girl. I had my limits. At home, I'd sneak a cigarette occasionally. I'd smoke in my closet, or out my bedroom window. I didn't worry about the smell since our house was filled with it all the time anyway. I thought it was a foolproof plan.

I came home one day from school and walked in the back door of the apartment into the kitchen. My Dad was standing at the counter making himself his 40th cup of coffee of the day and my Mom was sitting at the kitchen table. I thought nothing of it, and tossed my backpack and sat down with her. Had the usual conversation: "So, how was school?" "Fine" "What did you do today" "Umm.. learned stuff."

I was a real peach.

My dad came up behind me and put an ashtray in front of me and said, "next time. USE IT" I felt my face get hot and my stomach sank, immediately filling with a million butterflies--the kind you get when you know you've been busted and there is nothing you can do. My throat went dry and I swallowed hard, and looked at my mom. I could read the disappointment in her eyes. The bond and united front we once had, was now broken. I felt like such a hypocrite.

The shame that I felt, however, didnt stop me from continuing on my smokey path. I wish it had.

After that, my parents told me it was okay to smoke in front of them. I refused. It felt so weird. It felt it close to being able to cuss in front of them and it being OK (it wasn't, I still cringe when "Shit" slips out now, and I'm nearly 31). It just felt wrong. I felt ashamed and embarrassed the one time I tried it. Years later, my dad would occasionally come visit me outside when I was smoking. The shame and embarrassment has not gone away.

College, freshman year, smoking started to become something I HAD to do instead of something I WANTED to do. I started to get twitchy when long stretches of time had passed without a cigarette. I noticed that I was always making sure I had enough on me where ever I went, lest I die should I have one less than I needed. I thought nothing of it since all my friends did the same thing. It felt normal. It felt OK. I know now that it so wasn't.

And so began the addiction. The complete transformation from relatively sweet happy girl to full-on bitch when I hadn't had one in a while. The pre-planning.

When I met BF, he wasn't real crazy about the fact that I was a smoker but accepted it anyway. Sort of. When I would get moody or pissy he'd tell me "just go have a cigarette already!" I was well aware of how I smelled and how smokey breath probably wasn't exactly the most kissable thing in the world. So I began carrying a pack of gum with me at all times. Though in hindsight, I doubt the mix of Wrigley's spearmint and smoke was any more attractive. About a year into our relationship, I realized just how much he hid how much he hated it. This is the first time I decided to quit. I failed, obviously. I failed because I didnt want to, but was doing it for him. I was in love, and wanted to make him happy.

Since then, I've quit for a zillion reasons. Recently though, the reasons have been for me. Because about 4 years ago I began to hate it. Yet it calls to me, in a loving, soothing, familiar voice. It is the first thing I go to when I am stressed out, having a bad day, or just for no reason at all. I've been a smoker now for 12 years.

There's days when I am glad I no longer smoke, and there's others where I miss it so much that my heart beats faster at the idea of having just one.

Some days are easier than others, and yeah, I do hit minor bumps in the road and give in for a split second. But I keep trying. And that to me, is a victory in itself.

I really want to be a non-smoker (and have been on Chantix for 3 straight weeks now) but every time an occasion comes up in which smoking used to be involved for me, like say going to a bar, etc. My throat tightens and my heart starts to beat faster in anticipation, and I begin to doubt myself and already start to plan how I will deceive myself. The next day though, the after effects shine through and I get right back on that horse.

I have become aware of the effects smoking has on my body. I have some ... uhh... digestive issues that are only exasperated by smoking. My nails become brittle, the skin on my fingers is apparently very delicate and I get that awful tinge of yellow between my index finger and my middle finger. My skin dries out. I have headaches a lot more often. My level of fatigue is heightened drastically. My throat is perpetually scratchy and tight. Phlegm. It's just all around bad and nasty, but I forget all of that when the thought of how smoking just one would be so nice right now. I know it will kill me and yet it hasn't been enough to make me stop. It's amazing how reason and intellect fly out the window when addiction is involved.

I hate that my quitting has become this running joke between me and everyone around me. I call it my hobby and laugh at it to hide the deep disappointment in myself. When my friends or BF rolls their eyes at me when I tell them I have quit, it hurts way deep inside. But I smile anyway and say "I know, I know." I would really love for one of these times for someone to squeeze my hand and look me dead in the eye and say "I know you can do it." But I know that it is my fault and mine alone that I have not been successful yet, and I can't blame the lack of support.

Still. Having someone support my determination at least, would really mean a lot.

All 3 of my brothers and my father are now all smoke-free. They did it, seemingly, with complete ease, and I just don't understand why this is so hard for me. It's just so very disappointing.

One of these times I will be successful in my endeavor. I need to believe this time is it.

Sounds of Basketball

In recent years, my mom has become a serious basketball fan. More specifically, a die-hard San Antonio Spurs fan. My brothers and I are highly amused about this for two reasons:

1. When we lived in San Antonio she could've cared less.
2. Watching her watch a game is so much fun. Hell, even listening to her while in another room is downright entertaining.

She sits on the edge of her seat with one leg folded under her. She sits straight up and rocks forward and stretches her neck when the ball is in the air. If it's the opposing team shooting, "NOOOOO! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT!" If they make it, "AWWWW!" and slouches in defeat. If they miss it, as she requested, "WAY TO GO!", complete with fist pump (so THAT'S where I get it from!)

Sometimes in unison with my dad.

If the Spurs are shooting, "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" Should they miss, "C'MON [player's first name--you know, cuz they are so tight]!" If they make it, "WAY TO GO!" and then immediately turns to my dad, and says, "three pointer?" he says, "no, two."

They then watch TV for an hour or so to "settle down" It's constant yelling at the tv, mostly from my mom. Which is quite different from what used to be the norm: my dad furiously yelling at the tv (he tends to uhh, pick lack-luster teams), while my mom occupied herself otherwise. It's nice that he now has a partner to watch one of his favorite sports with. Hearing her yell and clap and get so excited makes me smile.

I hope that when I am married for 42 years (I think? Math hurts my teeny brain), I will have that with BF too.

[Edited to Add] It's 48, not 42. I knew that looked wrong.

Monthly Roadtrip to VA: Highlights

1. Packing the night before is ingenious, why didn't I think of this sooner?


2. Gassing up the night before, also brilliant


3. Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet is amazingly entertaining on a long drive


4. Driving in high winds requires two hands, moron


5. Cops seen: 2335678901


6. Tickets acquired: 0 *fist pump*


7. Speaking of fist pump, what is it about Bon Jovi that makes me do odd things with my hands? Fist pump, meaninful pointing, etc. (I mean really, how else would you sing Living on a Prayer?)


8. Note to self: When you leave earlier, you encounter assloads of traffic


9. Drove by an accident where a tree had fallen on a moving vehicle. Yowzah.


10. Did the whole "Holy Shit dude, if I hadn't stopped to pee, that totally coulda been me!


11. Turning up Bon Jovi LOUDER helps stifle the drama queen.


12. Switching to Al Greene while moving a whole 2 mph on 95 calms the beast within. Car dancing does a lot for the soul.


13. Upping water intake has adverse affects on making trip in 5.5 hours.


14. Saw a pink and purple striped AND checkered car. No lie. Driver was serious about it too.


15. Taking pics of said car with iPhone in windy conditions? Not so brilliant. Nor fruitful. Did get a picture of my rear view mirror though.


16. Driving headaches are the awesome.


17. Is can be go home time now pls?

Lazy: 1234234532523523523523, Tricia:1

Seriously. I done worked out tonight!

Try not to faint, I know it is hard.

Between the email banter from my two girls back and forth today and a discussion with Cluss this morning, these women gave me the strength (and the guilt, thank you KegOfSunshine :P) to go forth and sweat.

After work, I had big plans man. BIG! HUGE!

I was gonna do dishes, scoop some kitty litter, switch out some laundry, then march upstairs and pop my Turbo Jam DVD in and move my flabby ass.

All was going well until I entered my living room (which, mind you, is FIVE steps from my office)... and the couch called to me. No seriously! It said "Tricia, come sit with me. I'm so lonely without you. wooooooooooeeeeeee."

... ok so, too much?

Anyway, I gave in and cuddled up with the blanket (I'm always cold after work, don't ask me why) and turned on the TV. The minute I settled in, guilt washed over me, and I thought to myself "Ok dude, but only for 30 minutes."

I watched the clock more than I watched whatever it was that was on TV. When it was 5 minutes 'til, I decided to ignore the clock and focus on what I was watching and get warm. The chime on our clock sang its little song, and i sat.

2 minutes later, I had just about convinced myself that tomorrow! totally tomorrow! I'll do it.

and then I heard kegOfSunshine in my head telling me she was going to call me tonight and check to see if I had worked out like I promised. I contemplated lying, and then immediately realized that even if i could lie to her (which I cant), I would feel so very very guilty.

And apparently the feeling of guilt is a motivator!

I kicked off the blanket, skipped the chores, and marched my lazy ass upstairs. Changed Clothes and worked out.

Yes.

And then I came down, did my chores like a good girl, and made dinner. Let's not discuss what I ate for dinner though. BABY STEPS PEOPLE.

And I STILL had time to stare at the wall tonight. Imagine that.

I took my vitamin this morning (check) and I had 4 24oz bottles of water today. I plan on having 1 or two more (check check check!).

I have had to pee A LOT today. In fact, Ive had so much water to drink today that I pooped water. No lie.

You're welcome.

In a Rut.

You ever notice how I make a declaration on here and there's a couple of updates regarding my progress and then it sorta disappears?

I'll give you two guesses what that means.

It means I lack follow-through and willpower and perseverance. The force of lazy and general suck is strong with me. I admit it openly and outwardly.

I have yet to go back to the gym. I smoke every so often. I have not lost a single pound. I have not purchased new jeans (did buy a belt though!). My water intake lacks in quantity and my vitamin intake is null.

I have two friends dear to my heart who made a pact with me in which we would workout, eat right, run a marathon (HA) and get hot and skinny and go to beach with no shame. We even discussed perhaps the carribbean and the like.

We promised to check in on each other and pester pester pester and motivate motivate motivate!

Thus far, I'm the only one who hasnt "womaned up", as it were.

I get emails from these two almost on a daily basis and seriously ladies, I cannot thank you enough for the persistence. Please do not stop.

I will admit, there is a gigantor part of me that wants to blame the bit of drama life has handed me in the last week or so, or the large quantities of work I have been doing or ....I DUNNO THE SUN SHINING. SOMETHING. I WANT TO BLAME SOMETHING.

I hit reply to these messages and begin to type the reason du jour, and then I find myself getting PISSED OFF. My heart starts to beat a little faster and my teeth start to grind because I know. deep down. There is no suitable excuse. I hit backspace and type "I KNOW. theres no acceptable excuses." Because, jesus christ Tricia. How hard is it to jump around to a workout tape for 30-45 minutes. I mean really.

I have every intention of working out. I set my alarm every night so that I will wake-up and have enough time to work out prior to logging in to work. And then I stay up til god knows when tossing and turning and thinking about this or that PLEASE SHUTUP BRAIN I NEED SLEEP. NO. SHUTUP. SERIOUSLY.

So my alarm goes off and I either hit snooze for the next however long, or I reset my alarm to wake up 20 minutes before I have to log in to work. And even then, I have to pry myself from the comfy clutches of my bed.

I love how I cant sleep all night but the morning. the morning is when i suddenly have no issue.

Oh look, an excuse! Excuse me while I FALL OVER IN UDDER SHOCK.

I get up and shower. vow to workout after work.

and then I .... ugh working out after work, its just not happening. who am i kidding?

and round and round we go.

I made brownies after dinner tonight. Ha Ha. I rule at this.

Guess I will try again tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Surprising the un-surprisable. hmph.

Today is BF's b-day. BF is one of those low-key kinda guys, one of those like laid back "hey whatever man" kinda dudes that is pretty much cool with whatever, whenever, however and with whoever.

And that works out for us, cuz I'm more of the um...EXACT OPPOSITE.

PRINCESS NEEDS HER SHIT THE WAY SHE WANTS IT. HOW HARD IS IT DAMNIT!?!

I mean. hey dude, happy birfday! for really!

He's also the type of dude that never really wants a big to-do over him, or like occasions that involve all eyes on him. Birthdays being one of those occasions. So I try to squeeze in surprises where I can. Dinner at home, and like playing halo. It doesn't leave much for a girl to work with.

I asked him like a week ago what kinda cake he wanted. Did he want want one from the grocery store, or did he want me to make one?

Without hesitation, he said "Yeah! Harris Teeter cake!"

and while that sort of initially stung because, WTF he doesnt want ME to make him a cake? He wants a store-bought-stranger-made-cake? *blink* WTF! (Look at that. I made HIS birthday cake about me! I RULE at this!)

However, I will concede that the cake we bought for his Mom while his family was here (her bday is new years eve), was INCREDIBLE. so ok. fine. harris teeter it is.

he thought for a minute and said "or ooooooooo! a ice cream cake!"

cuz he's 5 apparently.

I didn't really react towards either suggestion (on the outside) cuz I was thinking this would be my chance to slide a bit of a surprise in there somehow.

Ice cream cake! When he's expecting Harris Teeter cake!

THE CREATIVITY BOGGLES THE MIND DOESNT IT!?!

Anyway, so I decide to go with a Coldstone Creamery cake, and while im choosing his cake online (what? go to the store? please people.) I found a specialty cake that used his favorite flavor but was combined with red velvet cake. And I didnt know whether he liked that type of cake, so I had to ask him if he likes red velvet cake.

Which. ha. I know. REALLY GONNA BLOW THE GUY OVER WITH YOUR DAMN CAKE NOW ARENTCHA!

Me: Do you like red velvet cake?
Him: Yes.

and that was it! So I thought... OK cool. He's gonna play nice and not question.

He gets home from work later and I swear the first thing out of his mouth was:

"So red velvet birthday cake eh?"

"shhh. you'll find out later"

so a day passes or so. He comes into the office where Im working and spies a flyer for cakes, coincidentally, on my desk.

He says "Baby Kakes?!"

I look in the direction he is looking "Oh. yeah. was in the mailbox." I pick it up and hand it to him.

"Do they by chance have...red velvet cake??? OH LOOK THEY DO"

I smile because "HA HA I WIN I WIN"

So today rolls around. and the poop decides to work from home.

I offer to pick up lunch since I have to go get his cake. and I apparently offered it up a little too fast because once I said it, he was all suspicious face, "you offered that up awfully fast"

oh shit. "oh. what do you mean! its your birthday! god! what do you mean!"

and ok. a litttle too much. but whatever. MUST. SURPRISE. HIM.

he says "ok well if you are gonna pick up the cake, ill call in the order for lunch after you leave"

damnit.

"just order it now dude."

cuz coldstone is right next to where i was picking up lunch.

Im growing tired of this story...

Anyway point is. he guessed it. before I could surprise him. shithead.

not that im the brilliant genius when it comes to hiding things either. but DAMNIT!

MUST YOU! RARRR!

and lets not even discuss his present which is currently on his way here. BECAUSE HE GUESSED THAT TOO.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i wanted to surprise him with something. It's just not possible with suspicious face though *sigh*

did you get that? *I* wanted to surprise him.

again. about me.

ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL GET YOU MISTER. ONE OF THESE DAYS *shakes fist*

oh yeah, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BF! HOPE YOU LIKED YOUR CAKE! LOVE YOU!

This message brought to you by the letter "L" for laundry.

Previous Evening: Set my alarm for 0930 so I would wake up at a reasonable hour...I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable vol...

what?

oh hi!

Right so, I set my alarm for 0930 so we can get up at a reasonable hour our asses to the gym and also so that when I get up for work/gym thursday morning it wont hurt so bad.

0922: Call from my Dad, regarding some bill that got sent to the townhouse by mistake that was due in two days, and granted, I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN. But JFC Dad :( why so early.

0930: Hit Snooze.


I musta done this ummmmmmmmmmm a lot. Cuz the next thing I know, I'm opening my eyes and squinting at the clock. 12:02. I rub my eyes because surely.....

sonofa.... :(

We both casually avoid mention of the gym and proceed with the rest of our day.

Showers.

I call out from the shower "Hey! we could go to the gym after lunch after we digest! Like at 3 or so?!"

His response: "Yup, sure could."

Go to Olive Garden for Soup, Salad and Breadsticks lunch. God that lunch rocks.

We also got the Alfredo dipping sauce. Shhh don't tell.

Home.

As soon as I walk in the door, I switch out the laundry and march upstairs. I spend a long time folding and putting away like 4 loads of laundry. We were back-logged from when our company was here. When I finally got around to maybe doing some laundry when they were here, they had hijacked the machines. *sigh*

and then, you know, I took like 3 days off from life to stare at the wall.

I've since done 2 more loads and I do believe that I have 2 more left in the hamper. It's like it never ends. Halp :(

Completed upstairs duty. Came down folded another load. Switched out laundry.

and then I took time out for recess.

I ripped open Dance Dance Revolution Universe (i heard that) and played for a while (p.s. I'm not that good...yet. But I will be, beleeee it.)

Then I played GH3 and unlocked Tom Morello and kicked his ass. woo woo!

Dinner at outback with some friends.

Back home, laundry folding, switching out laundry.

BF scooped litter and emptied the dishwasher. *faints*

Was a super super day, and I think I'm actually looking forward to working tomorrow... I think.

I'm leaving those last two loads for tomorrow cuz jimmmney christmas people! It's only two of us! How the HELL!

We somehow missed the gym though. No idea how that happened. *whistles* We shall try again tomorrow. All we can do is continue to try right? Until we do? WE HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS DAMNIT GET OFF MY ASS.

love you :)

Monthly count:
Gym = 0
Cigarettes = 8 (I stopped yesterday--oh shutup. I know I know)
Salads consumed = 2
Sodas consumed = 0
Sweet tea's consumed = 5 :( Goddamn I love sweet tea. This will be hard. K, you are my inspiration on this one. Keep it goin'!!!
Vitamins consumed = 0; I knew I was forgetting something. shoot.
8 glasses of water/day consumption met= 0
Pounds lost/gained = not sure yet. Gotta go to gym to weigh myself. ORRRRRRRRR I could go buy a scale. But this excuse works better for me.

K. Im stopping there cuz thats really enough to keep up with already.

New Year's Resolutions...

1. Realize that I don't bounce back as quickly as I used to after a night of drinking. Turn it down a notch please Tricia. God.

2. Quit Smoking (gotta keep those hobbies alive!)

3. Go to the Gym enough times that I cant count it on my one hand....in one year. (God, I suck) Lose weight. Get comfy in my skin again.

4. Read more--and not on an LCD screen.

5. Pay attention to the news even though I could really care less. It's just so negative. Bringing a sister down.

6. Make a concerted effort to finish unpacking the house. We made quite a large dent before all our company showed up, but it's not quite done yet.

7. Stop making excuses. Just do it already. Whatever "it" may be.

8. Be more self-aware before and during, and less after the fact, ok asshole? thx.

9. Be a better friend.

10. Get jeans that fit. M'fing Old Navy jeans are just retarded. They fit super for the first, I dunno 5 seconds, and then slowly begin to head south with each step I take, and I'm pulling them up all day long. Super irritating.

I lead a pretty blessed life if all I have to complain about are some crappy jeans though, eh? ;)

What are ya'lls resolutions?