This year has been fast and furious. Seems like as you age, time starts to move at warp speed. There are moments in time this year that I want to remember, forever. Those times where you can hear yourself breathe and no one is around except you and the person who makes your entire world, your entire world. Don't get me wrong, this year hasn't really been all that action packed, but man o man. I have loved this year. Every last second of it.
I've learned that what's steadfastly important to you is minor and trivial to the next guy. That what you believe, if proven false can shake you to your core, and that I can, in fact, hold a grudge.
Long-run-on sentences are still my specialty, and I will always make up my own words. Consistency is comforting, what can I say.
I am 73 days in to what appears to be my new, for real for real, smoke-free life. I got a new job after almost 12 years of working for the same place. Being the new kid in school is the same as it ever was, awkward and self-doubting and ... awesome.
And eventhough I am still bitter about the why's and wherefore's of why a new job. It's been good. Really, really good.
I am engaged, and I cannot stop smiling, its been just over a month now and I am still wearing the dopey smile and floating on air.
Our families and felines are well. BF is currently unemployed but I've got high hopes for 2010. Not sure how it could top 2009, but if life has shown me anything, the element of surprise is never ending.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Cannot
So uh.....woopsies!
Hi! How are you guys?
So blah blah I havent written in a while. Let's just fast-forward to now.
Some issues I am have lately (awww yeahhhhhhhhh list time!)
Hi! How are you guys?
So blah blah I havent written in a while. Let's just fast-forward to now.
Some issues I am have lately (awww yeahhhhhhhhh list time!)
- Cannot have lunch with co-workers without trying to reach for my straw with my open maw unsuccessfully. If I'm feeling especially... uhh whatever. I stick my straw up my nose. Who says I'm not professional.
- Cannot workout on a regular. I know, old news...moving on..
- Cannot WAIT FOR VACATION AT THE END OF AUGUST HOLY EFFIN CHRIST MAN. Whew. I need it. Hurry please!
- Cannot not yell it a blog post.
- Wait.. cannot not? What the hell?
- Still cannot mention work, lest I be dooced. And who needs that?
- Though, I guarantee you my work stories are a hoot.
- Cannot stand BF's job still. Hate. With the teeth of a thousand uhm... sharks!
- yes, Sharks. Thats it.
- Cannot deal with the creepy crawlers outside the house. Heebie Jeebies 24/7. No lie
- Cannot go to bed before midnight ever. It's a very big problem at 6am when the alarm clock goes off. I realized today that I need to just get my lazy ass up regardless. This was riiiiight about the same time I sorta kinda not really but kinda got in trouble for being late. Woops.
- I just talked about work didnt i.
- Cannot keep to my own rules. JESUS TRISH.
- Cannot ever remember to bring my glasses home from work so I can like, you know, SEE at home.
- Cannot ever remember much really.
- Cannot believe I bought fabric to make curtains for the ENTIRE FIRST FLOOR. OH MY HELL. Way to baby step into it weirdo.
- Cannot keep my sorry ass off of facebook. Geeez. Like I needed more time suck activities.
- Cannot believe the crazy car accident my parent got into. Mom fractured her hand and the car is totaled. Dad is ok. No worries though, cuz they got another car. But geez dude. Totally shattered the whole "my parents are invincible" thing I had in my head. Should take about another month to get that repaired though ;)
- Cannot believe I got hit. While I was stopped. IN A DRIVE-THRU. More on this and others later.
- Cannot believe how much BF and I have rallied together over the last 8 months. It makes me feel very secure in living the rest of my life with him. awwwwwwwww
- Cannot wait til he gets on his damn knee already. What!
- Cannot believe the heart that lives within BF.
- Cannot possibly have a better life.
- No, really.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Puta
The day before we moved out of the townhouse in Virginia, I was getting packed. I, of course, wasn't doing it myself because we could afford it and well... LAZY.
At 8 am a crew of 4 Latin dudes walked into the house overjoyed *ahem* about the task ahead of them. After walking them through the house, telling them about my little system "Pink Post-it means dont pack. Everything else goes in a box. Ok? Si?" The leader of the pack asked me a question: "Do you speak spanish?" Which is really code for "can we talk about you behind your back without you knowing?" I answered, "Nope." I mean I picked up on some words listening to my mom and grandma having conversations when I was a kid, but I cannot carry on a conversation by any means. For whatever reason, I never really cared to learn the language. I mean I took FRENCH in high school. IN SAN ANTONIO. Idiot.
Anyway, so throughout the day, I'd hear the word "Puta" and see something of MINE in their hands. Puta, of course, meaning "whore" or "prostitute." Nice, huh? I let it go though, I mean, whatever. Disrespect runs rampant these days anyway. And I DID tell them that I didnt speak english. But really who doesnt know the bad words? Come on.
Later, I was sitting in my freshly packed kitchen on my laptop working. The leader of the pack was in the hallway packing up the half-bath. One of the other dudes comes downstairs says something to the leader of the pack. I heard the word "Puta" again. I could tell from what very little spanish I know and his body language that he was saying "The stupid bitch didnt leave any cups for water."
I pipe up "OH! You're right! I totally forgot to set aside the plastic cups!"
The leader of the pack's face drained of all color. He nervously smiled and chuckled and said "Oh uh... thats ok..." He looked at the other dude in horror.
I ran out to McDonald's and bought some sodas and some empty cups, came back and handed them out with a big smile on my face, no one really looking at me in the eyes.
They took the entire day to pack us up. They loaded up our truck the next day. They packed up and moved my parents into the townhouse the following week. From that moment in the kitchen on, I never heard the word "Puta" again.
Tricia: 1, Morons: 0.
At 8 am a crew of 4 Latin dudes walked into the house overjoyed *ahem* about the task ahead of them. After walking them through the house, telling them about my little system "Pink Post-it means dont pack. Everything else goes in a box. Ok? Si?" The leader of the pack asked me a question: "Do you speak spanish?" Which is really code for "can we talk about you behind your back without you knowing?" I answered, "Nope." I mean I picked up on some words listening to my mom and grandma having conversations when I was a kid, but I cannot carry on a conversation by any means. For whatever reason, I never really cared to learn the language. I mean I took FRENCH in high school. IN SAN ANTONIO. Idiot.
Anyway, so throughout the day, I'd hear the word "Puta" and see something of MINE in their hands. Puta, of course, meaning "whore" or "prostitute." Nice, huh? I let it go though, I mean, whatever. Disrespect runs rampant these days anyway. And I DID tell them that I didnt speak english. But really who doesnt know the bad words? Come on.
Later, I was sitting in my freshly packed kitchen on my laptop working. The leader of the pack was in the hallway packing up the half-bath. One of the other dudes comes downstairs says something to the leader of the pack. I heard the word "Puta" again. I could tell from what very little spanish I know and his body language that he was saying "The stupid bitch didnt leave any cups for water."
I pipe up "OH! You're right! I totally forgot to set aside the plastic cups!"
The leader of the pack's face drained of all color. He nervously smiled and chuckled and said "Oh uh... thats ok..." He looked at the other dude in horror.
I ran out to McDonald's and bought some sodas and some empty cups, came back and handed them out with a big smile on my face, no one really looking at me in the eyes.
They took the entire day to pack us up. They loaded up our truck the next day. They packed up and moved my parents into the townhouse the following week. From that moment in the kitchen on, I never heard the word "Puta" again.
Tricia: 1, Morons: 0.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
On job hunting
Finding a job has to be one of the most tedious, gut-wrenching things a person ever has to do. It is, at least, when you feel under major pressure to find one so that you can pay your bills the next month.
I've gone to 6 interviews, 3 of which were with the same place. Every night before each interview I'd toss and turn, thoughts flying all over the place, praying silently. No matter how little sleep I ended up getting, I always awoke at least an hour before I really needed to, with a million knots in my stomach, throat all small, raging headache. I went to every single interview on an empty stomach. Probably not the best move on my part, but the thought of food never crossed my mind. I always ended up showing up to the interview 30 minutes early. An excruciating 30 minutes where I tried everything to distract myself from....myself:
"What if I'm not good enough"
"What if I'm not what they're looking for"
"What if I'm a total spazz in the interview"
"What if my breathe smells"
[Sticks piece of gum in mouth]
"Dont forget to spit out the gum before you go in"
"Man, I still hate pantyhose"
"Please, I NEED this job."
How does one distract themselves from themself you ask? Sudoku on the iPhone, dude ;).
Lucky for me and those I shook hands with, when I'm nervous, my hands dont get all clammy. They just turn the temperature of a chilled corpse. It's winter, so that can be played off easily. Uh... right?
Once in the interview, I tend to calm down. Mostly. I did notice that for those 3 interviews with the one place that I became very relaxed almost instantly, which I read to be a good sign.
In the middle of every damn interview I realized I still had the damn gum in my mouth. I'd try to nonchalantly move it to the side of my mouth when they weren't looking at me so it wouldn't be seen when I talked, and then I'd realize later on in the interview that I forgot where the hell I was and found myself chomping like a cow on cud. Professional, right? My breath was minty fresh though, so there's that.
After the interviews, my stomach would drop dramatically every time my phone rang. Or when my "YOUVE GOT MAIL" bell would chime. I wanted a job. I NEEDED a job. Each day that passed with no news, I'd grow just a little bit more pessimistic.
There is one place who has yet to call me, three weeks later. What happened to courtesy? Or have I been out of the job hunting for so long, that people just don't do that anymore. It bothers me some that they never contacted me. I keep wondering what exactly they didn't like about me. My skills? Or lack thereof? My portfolio? My suit? My Shoes? My salary requirement? The GUM?!
Happily, that's all over now. I was hired yesterday, THANK YOU GOD! I start Monday. My title is User Interface Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I am excited about all the things I am going to learn, all the technologies I am going to be exposed to. I cannot wait to build on my current skill-set and learn things I never got the chance to at my old job. I'll be glad to be viewed as a professional, and not the 19 year old kid mostly everyone seemed to still see me as. When you are at a job that long, it's just like how your parents look at you--they just don't see you any older than 12. Yes, I will have to prove myself, but it will be different this time. And yes, ok, being laid off IS/WAS a blessing. I give. Even if every time I heard that I wanted to punch the person in the face (but I love you anyway)--I'm still bitter about it, give me some time.
Today I emailed every recruiter I have spoken to regarding job opportunities, notifying them that I have accepted a position elsewhere, and that they could suck it.
What? I only said that last part to myself. I didnt actually type it. C'mon now.
I've gone to 6 interviews, 3 of which were with the same place. Every night before each interview I'd toss and turn, thoughts flying all over the place, praying silently. No matter how little sleep I ended up getting, I always awoke at least an hour before I really needed to, with a million knots in my stomach, throat all small, raging headache. I went to every single interview on an empty stomach. Probably not the best move on my part, but the thought of food never crossed my mind. I always ended up showing up to the interview 30 minutes early. An excruciating 30 minutes where I tried everything to distract myself from....myself:
"What if I'm not good enough"
"What if I'm not what they're looking for"
"What if I'm a total spazz in the interview"
"What if my breathe smells"
[Sticks piece of gum in mouth]
"Dont forget to spit out the gum before you go in"
"Man, I still hate pantyhose"
"Please, I NEED this job."
How does one distract themselves from themself you ask? Sudoku on the iPhone, dude ;).
Lucky for me and those I shook hands with, when I'm nervous, my hands dont get all clammy. They just turn the temperature of a chilled corpse. It's winter, so that can be played off easily. Uh... right?
Once in the interview, I tend to calm down. Mostly. I did notice that for those 3 interviews with the one place that I became very relaxed almost instantly, which I read to be a good sign.
In the middle of every damn interview I realized I still had the damn gum in my mouth. I'd try to nonchalantly move it to the side of my mouth when they weren't looking at me so it wouldn't be seen when I talked, and then I'd realize later on in the interview that I forgot where the hell I was and found myself chomping like a cow on cud. Professional, right? My breath was minty fresh though, so there's that.
After the interviews, my stomach would drop dramatically every time my phone rang. Or when my "YOUVE GOT MAIL" bell would chime. I wanted a job. I NEEDED a job. Each day that passed with no news, I'd grow just a little bit more pessimistic.
There is one place who has yet to call me, three weeks later. What happened to courtesy? Or have I been out of the job hunting for so long, that people just don't do that anymore. It bothers me some that they never contacted me. I keep wondering what exactly they didn't like about me. My skills? Or lack thereof? My portfolio? My suit? My Shoes? My salary requirement? The GUM?!
Happily, that's all over now. I was hired yesterday, THANK YOU GOD! I start Monday. My title is User Interface Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I am excited about all the things I am going to learn, all the technologies I am going to be exposed to. I cannot wait to build on my current skill-set and learn things I never got the chance to at my old job. I'll be glad to be viewed as a professional, and not the 19 year old kid mostly everyone seemed to still see me as. When you are at a job that long, it's just like how your parents look at you--they just don't see you any older than 12. Yes, I will have to prove myself, but it will be different this time. And yes, ok, being laid off IS/WAS a blessing. I give. Even if every time I heard that I wanted to punch the person in the face (but I love you anyway)--I'm still bitter about it, give me some time.
Today I emailed every recruiter I have spoken to regarding job opportunities, notifying them that I have accepted a position elsewhere, and that they could suck it.
What? I only said that last part to myself. I didnt actually type it. C'mon now.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Grace in Small Things: Day 1 of 365
Because I can't seem to think of anything to write about lately, and when I do it's dripping in bitterness and hate and worry and fear and.....well you get the idea. I was reading through Whoorl's blog to catch up on things I'd missed (cuz, hey I aint got shit-else to do) and noticed she had decided to join this Grace in Small Things challenge. I figured why the hell not. The two of you that are still here are probably bored by now ;)
So anyway, here I go.
Or, that Fajitas for 2 that I bought the other night. Eventhough it got my ass out of the house. That's $12 I don't have now. How was that a good move Tricia? (and uh, P.S. yes I ate Fajitas for 2 by myself. I only ever eat the meat though, so shuttup)
Speaking of eating. I'm not eating. Not very much anyway. And it's not because Im trying to be all dramatic. I'm just........... not hungry. It's a combination of the smoking and the HOLYFUCKWILLIGETTHATJOB?WILLIGETANYJOB? worry. I ate the fajitas for two, but I only had a protein shake earlier in the day. So what's that? Like 600 calories? At least Im not gaining weight I suppose. In fact, I'm losing weight--so...win?
Even things that I LOVE seem unappealing. I had pizza rolls for lunch. I ate like 6 rolls. Usually I can put away like 15 or so. Hey, you dont get all rotund like this eating 4 almonds. Know what Im sayin? I feel myself teetering on the cusp of some kind of depression. It's sad to me that a job can define my self-worth. I wake up every morning (11 counts as morning, right?) with a headache and knots in my stomach. I go to bed around 4am so it's not like I'm sleeping too much.
Hi, drama. Sorry!
ANYWHO. So yeah, hope to have good news tomorrow! How are you guys? Tell me a funny story. I need funny.
So anyway, here I go.
- The love and support of my close friends, my family and my favorite man in the world, BF. Awwwww.
- XBOX. For it's timesuck abilities.
- The fact that its Thursday, one day closer to the day that I found out whether I got this job or not. PLEASE GOD PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
- BF. I know, I said him already. But SERIOUSLY. I am so very lucky.
- Taking comfort in the knowledge that I am not a bad person. I am not a bad employee. THIS ISNT MY FAULT. (and yet, still feeling guilty)
Or, that Fajitas for 2 that I bought the other night. Eventhough it got my ass out of the house. That's $12 I don't have now. How was that a good move Tricia? (and uh, P.S. yes I ate Fajitas for 2 by myself. I only ever eat the meat though, so shuttup)
Speaking of eating. I'm not eating. Not very much anyway. And it's not because Im trying to be all dramatic. I'm just........... not hungry. It's a combination of the smoking and the HOLYFUCKWILLIGETTHATJOB?WILLIGETANYJOB? worry. I ate the fajitas for two, but I only had a protein shake earlier in the day. So what's that? Like 600 calories? At least Im not gaining weight I suppose. In fact, I'm losing weight--so...win?
Even things that I LOVE seem unappealing. I had pizza rolls for lunch. I ate like 6 rolls. Usually I can put away like 15 or so. Hey, you dont get all rotund like this eating 4 almonds. Know what Im sayin? I feel myself teetering on the cusp of some kind of depression. It's sad to me that a job can define my self-worth. I wake up every morning (11 counts as morning, right?) with a headache and knots in my stomach. I go to bed around 4am so it's not like I'm sleeping too much.
Hi, drama. Sorry!
ANYWHO. So yeah, hope to have good news tomorrow! How are you guys? Tell me a funny story. I need funny.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
50 things...
Hey, don't look at me--I got tagged ;)
1.What color is your tooth brush? White
2. Did you dream last night? No Idea
3. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers
4. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yup
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? No Audio?
6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter Chocolate. mmmmmmm
7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Dr. Pepper
8. What are you wearing right now? Track Pants and a tshirt
9. What was the last thing you ate? Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, it's what's for dinner!
10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope
11. When was the last time you ran? Like on purpose? No idea
12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? Erin
13. Do you take vitamins daily? Did, but I've sorta been forgetting lately
14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No, but i did for a 2.5 decades
15. Do you have a tan? No, but Im darker than BF ;)
16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? I like both equally
17. Do you drink soda with a straw? Only when I am in a restaurant
18. What does your last text message say? "I'm thinking breakfast for dinner. Burritos? Can you pick up tortillas and sausage? Maybe bacon too... Oh Milk! Need Milk? Oh, and um shredded hashbrowns heh. Please :) <3
19. Are you someones best friend? Yes
20. What are you doing tomorrow? More of the same probably. Chillin' on the couch, watching TV, messing around on the internet. Doing the 30 day shred. Hopefully.
21. Where is your dad? In our townhouse in Virginia, freezing his ass off! Sorry Daddy! HVAC will be replaced Tuesday! Keep that space heater cranked!!! LOVE YOU!!!
22. Look to your left, what do you see? Couch Pillow, wall, light switch, doorbell bell
23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? Brown and White
24. Do you use chap stick? Yes
25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Depends on my mood, but youll usually find me on the couch, laptop on lap, tv on. I'm a real active girl.
26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Both
27. Do you have a dog? No
28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? My dad
29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Jess
30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Maybe NC. YAY KEGOFSUNSHINE IS COMING TO NCCCCCCCCCCCCC WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
31. Do you dye your hair? When I have money, yup
32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but very slowly
33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes
34. Are you jealous of anyone? I really wish I could say no, but...Im jealous of those women who have already fought the fight and have reached their weight goals. Im jealous of the girls who go to the gym everyday and it shows. Im jealous of the people with jobs.
35. Do you love anyone? Yes, lots of peoples
36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
37. Do you use the word Hello daily? yes
38. Do you like cats? No, I love them.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
40. How did you get your worst scar? Riding one of those scooters that was like part skateboard, part bike, down a hill. Car was coming behind me. I freaked and jumped off, slid down the hill on my knees. Woot.
41. What is your favorite smell? CLEAN
42. What is the last DVD you watched? An evening with Kevin Smith
43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yup
44. What is your favorite number? Dont really have one
45. Do you toast your pop tarts? I can eat 'em either way
46. Have you ever waited tables? No
47. Where did you have your first kiss? Movie Theatre? I dont remember actually
48. What should you be doing? Working Out, reading about javascript, doing more job searches...
49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? I enjoy reading more than writing I think
50. How many blogs to you contribute to? Contribute with comments or like, write posts for? Comments--maybe 5, Write for--0.
Now let's see... Krys, Tree, Jen from UKMcKays, Jen the redhead ;)... TAG YER IT. For those of you without blogs. Put your answers in the comments. DO IT.
1.What color is your tooth brush? White
2. Did you dream last night? No Idea
3. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers
4. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yup
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? No Audio?
6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter Chocolate. mmmmmmm
7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Dr. Pepper
8. What are you wearing right now? Track Pants and a tshirt
9. What was the last thing you ate? Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, it's what's for dinner!
10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope
11. When was the last time you ran? Like on purpose? No idea
12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? Erin
13. Do you take vitamins daily? Did, but I've sorta been forgetting lately
14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No, but i did for a 2.5 decades
15. Do you have a tan? No, but Im darker than BF ;)
16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? I like both equally
17. Do you drink soda with a straw? Only when I am in a restaurant
18. What does your last text message say? "I'm thinking breakfast for dinner. Burritos? Can you pick up tortillas and sausage? Maybe bacon too... Oh Milk! Need Milk? Oh, and um shredded hashbrowns heh. Please :) <3
19. Are you someones best friend? Yes
20. What are you doing tomorrow? More of the same probably. Chillin' on the couch, watching TV, messing around on the internet. Doing the 30 day shred. Hopefully.
21. Where is your dad? In our townhouse in Virginia, freezing his ass off! Sorry Daddy! HVAC will be replaced Tuesday! Keep that space heater cranked!!! LOVE YOU!!!
22. Look to your left, what do you see? Couch Pillow, wall, light switch, doorbell bell
23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? Brown and White
24. Do you use chap stick? Yes
25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Depends on my mood, but youll usually find me on the couch, laptop on lap, tv on. I'm a real active girl.
26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Both
27. Do you have a dog? No
28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? My dad
29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Jess
30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Maybe NC. YAY KEGOFSUNSHINE IS COMING TO NCCCCCCCCCCCCC WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
31. Do you dye your hair? When I have money, yup
32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but very slowly
33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes
34. Are you jealous of anyone? I really wish I could say no, but...Im jealous of those women who have already fought the fight and have reached their weight goals. Im jealous of the girls who go to the gym everyday and it shows. Im jealous of the people with jobs.
35. Do you love anyone? Yes, lots of peoples
36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
37. Do you use the word Hello daily? yes
38. Do you like cats? No, I love them.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
40. How did you get your worst scar? Riding one of those scooters that was like part skateboard, part bike, down a hill. Car was coming behind me. I freaked and jumped off, slid down the hill on my knees. Woot.
41. What is your favorite smell? CLEAN
42. What is the last DVD you watched? An evening with Kevin Smith
43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yup
44. What is your favorite number? Dont really have one
45. Do you toast your pop tarts? I can eat 'em either way
46. Have you ever waited tables? No
47. Where did you have your first kiss? Movie Theatre? I dont remember actually
48. What should you be doing? Working Out, reading about javascript, doing more job searches...
49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? I enjoy reading more than writing I think
50. How many blogs to you contribute to? Contribute with comments or like, write posts for? Comments--maybe 5, Write for--0.
Now let's see... Krys, Tree, Jen from UKMcKays, Jen the redhead ;)... TAG YER IT. For those of you without blogs. Put your answers in the comments. DO IT.
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