I'm Drawing a Blank. . .

Moving Day...

2011-02-22T21:01:00.002-05:00

So I'm starting this diet thing and I've decided to publish it on my facebook (haaaaahaaaaaaaaa shit.)

see ya over there :)

Resolve.

2011-01-02T14:31:00.002-05:00

Before I go all happy clown on a list, I just want to point out that this is the very first year in just under 15 years that I have not had to list quitting smoking as a resolution!

And you know why? Because I kicked that motherf'ers ASS man! *flex* and woot! and *trumpet* and *cartwheel* and *kazoo* and *parade* and *confetti* an.....

what? *grin*

So this year, I resolve to:

Read more. And when I say read more, I mean read at all. Beyond the internet/magazine article, I havent read much since I graduated college.
Lose weight. Oh god, I know right? But this whole quitting smoking thing sort of sent me into this whole Im not going to worry about anything else but not smoking and thus shoved mostly everything i could find into my food hole. This appears to have worked because ha! I NO SMOKEY! but damn if my belly isnt hanging over my jeans. it's not a cute look, i assure you. I am at my heaviest ever, and I am sorry to say that is HEAVIER than the LAST TIME I SAID I WAS AT MY HEAVIEST OMFG. So yeah. Lose weight. stat.
Start taking more pride in myself. I've been lazy lately and not really bothering to do my hair or my nails or bothering to look nice. That's the downfall (and trust me, this is the ONLY one) to being able to wear whatever you want to work. If you wanna frump out, you can! I've been riding the frump train for far too long.

And...... that's it. Because If I know me, and I believe I do, in order for me to accomplish any kind of resolutions they need to be small and attainable. Sister gets overwhelmed pretty fast I've noticed.

Let's do this 2011!

The thing about quitting smoking...

2010-03-18T08:19:00.002-04:00

is that you gain weight--or, I did at least. I am hovering around a number that makes me want to collapse on the floor and die, but hey, at least I'm not smoking right?

sigh. (also, 146 days! Suck it nicotine!)

I cant seem to get in to the swing of any kind of healthy regime either. Which is JUST SUPER. I workout for like a week, maybe a day and then im all "soreeeeeee wahhhhhhhhh" and "tiredddddddddd wah" and well. You get the idea.

I know in my head that if I want to make a change and lose the weight I gained I need to get off my flabby ass and make myself do it and keep pushing myself until I want to do it. And really, what's so hard about that? Well... everything apparently. Basically I'm this fat sack of fail. Cool, huh?

And apparently I am also very whiney and feel awfully sorry for myself too.

Anyway... other than that! Things are really really awesome. Like, really.

Having BF home has been just really fantastic. It's like we live together and stuff! And I'M ENGAGED *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* STILL! Turns out, it wasnt a dream! So, thats also awesome.

I find lately that we do a lot of laughing. Even though we are in a bit of a stressful time ... twitch... we seem to be making it through and I am so very proud of us for that.

I do have some plans for doin' some things that will aid me in my weightloss endeavors, since I can't seem to get it together on my own. Remember when I was doing Medi-weightloss and I lost a bunch of weight? I'm gonna do that again, except with a different organization. I start April 7th. Wish me luck :)

On Quitting Smoking...again

2010-01-19T19:56:00.003-05:00

Being a professional smoking quitter for what? 10 years probably? I believe I've got a good handle on what does and doesnt seem to work. Now that I am days away from 100 FOR REAL days of not smoking (No Shit!), I think I can almost* safely say that this time is a-workin.'

Things that do not work:

"It's just not a good time right now" - Newsflash sparky: The perfect time does not exist. At least my definition anyway: a time in which there is not a single stressor, no mess ups and no ... well anything. Because, apparently I used ANYTHING as an excuse. Just got laid off? Let's smoke. Trying to get a job? Keep smoking. Got a job but am stressed about keeping it cuz its a contract to hire job and OMFG WHAT IF I DONT GET HIRED AYEEEE! Smoke. Project Over. Whew! Lets smoke! Hired as full-time employee! Where's mah lighter! Concert next week! Will wanna smoke then! Lets smoke until next week! Woops! Cigarettets still in pack! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! I... well you get the idea.
"I am going to cut down first, THEN I'll quit!" - Who are you kidding dude, you make up for it when you're by yourself. Chimney! I R IT!
"I wanna quit, but I dont wanna quit." - Gee, I cant imagine why THAT shit doesnt work.
"I'll quit because I know everyone around me hates it." - Yeah, see above genius.
"Happy New Year! IMA QUIT!" - Rigggghhhhtt after this cigarette... no wait this one...okokok After this pack! Shit Wait! This pack! Uh huh...

Things that do work:

Im quitting because I want to. Even though this is probably the worst time ever to quit. Like ever, I am going to do it. Because I want to.

There's no second bullet here because as far as I can tell, this is the only thing that works. Life lesson number 230420492028092: Learned.

* I dont wanna officially say it yet til I hit 3 digits, because, given my track record. I uh.. tend to fail.

A Nutshell. Let me give it to you.

2009-12-27T15:50:00.003-05:00

This year has been fast and furious. Seems like as you age, time starts to move at warp speed. There are moments in time this year that I want to remember, forever. Those times where you can hear yourself breathe and no one is around except you and the person who makes your entire world, your entire world. Don't get me wrong, this year hasn't really been all that action packed, but man o man. I have loved this year. Every last second of it.

I've learned that what's steadfastly important to you is minor and trivial to the next guy. That what you believe, if proven false can shake you to your core, and that I can, in fact, hold a grudge.

Long-run-on sentences are still my specialty, and I will always make up my own words. Consistency is comforting, what can I say.

I am 73 days in to what appears to be my new, for real for real, smoke-free life. I got a new job after almost 12 years of working for the same place. Being the new kid in school is the same as it ever was, awkward and self-doubting and ... awesome.

And eventhough I am still bitter about the why's and wherefore's of why a new job. It's been good. Really, really good.

I am engaged, and I cannot stop smiling, its been just over a month now and I am still wearing the dopey smile and floating on air.

Our families and felines are well. BF is currently unemployed but I've got high hopes for 2010. Not sure how it could top 2009, but if life has shown me anything, the element of surprise is never ending.

Cannot

2009-07-27T22:19:00.003-04:00

So uh.....woopsies!

Hi! How are you guys?

So blah blah I havent written in a while. Let's just fast-forward to now.

Some issues I am have lately (awww yeahhhhhhhhh list time!)

Cannot have lunch with co-workers without trying to reach for my straw with my open maw unsuccessfully. If I'm feeling especially... uhh whatever. I stick my straw up my nose. Who says I'm not professional.
Cannot workout on a regular. I know, old news...moving on..
Cannot WAIT FOR VACATION AT THE END OF AUGUST HOLY EFFIN CHRIST MAN. Whew. I need it. Hurry please!
Cannot not yell it a blog post.
Wait.. cannot not? What the hell?
Still cannot mention work, lest I be dooced. And who needs that?
Though, I guarantee you my work stories are a hoot.
Cannot stand BF's job still. Hate. With the teeth of a thousand uhm... sharks!
yes, Sharks. Thats it.
Cannot deal with the creepy crawlers outside the house. Heebie Jeebies 24/7. No lie
Cannot go to bed before midnight ever. It's a very big problem at 6am when the alarm clock goes off. I realized today that I need to just get my lazy ass up regardless. This was riiiiight about the same time I sorta kinda not really but kinda got in trouble for being late. Woops.
I just talked about work didnt i.
Cannot keep to my own rules. JESUS TRISH.
Cannot ever remember to bring my glasses home from work so I can like, you know, SEE at home.
Cannot ever remember much really.
Cannot believe I bought fabric to make curtains for the ENTIRE FIRST FLOOR. OH MY HELL. Way to baby step into it weirdo.
Cannot keep my sorry ass off of facebook. Geeez. Like I needed more time suck activities.
Cannot believe the crazy car accident my parent got into. Mom fractured her hand and the car is totaled. Dad is ok. No worries though, cuz they got another car. But geez dude. Totally shattered the whole "my parents are invincible" thing I had in my head. Should take about another month to get that repaired though ;)
Cannot believe I got hit. While I was stopped. IN A DRIVE-THRU. More on this and others later.
Cannot believe how much BF and I have rallied together over the last 8 months. It makes me feel very secure in living the rest of my life with him. awwwwwwwww
Cannot wait til he gets on his damn knee already. What!
Cannot believe the heart that lives within BF.
Cannot possibly have a better life.
No, really.

Puta

2009-04-10T15:24:00.004-04:00

The day before we moved out of the townhouse in Virginia, I was getting packed. I, of course, wasn't doing it myself because we could afford it and well... LAZY.

At 8 am a crew of 4 Latin dudes walked into the house overjoyed *ahem* about the task ahead of them. After walking them through the house, telling them about my little system "Pink Post-it means dont pack. Everything else goes in a box. Ok? Si?" The leader of the pack asked me a question: "Do you speak spanish?" Which is really code for "can we talk about you behind your back without you knowing?" I answered, "Nope." I mean I picked up on some words listening to my mom and grandma having conversations when I was a kid, but I cannot carry on a conversation by any means. For whatever reason, I never really cared to learn the language. I mean I took FRENCH in high school. IN SAN ANTONIO. Idiot.

Anyway, so throughout the day, I'd hear the word "Puta" and see something of MINE in their hands. Puta, of course, meaning "whore" or "prostitute." Nice, huh? I let it go though, I mean, whatever. Disrespect runs rampant these days anyway. And I DID tell them that I didnt speak english. But really who doesnt know the bad words? Come on.

Later, I was sitting in my freshly packed kitchen on my laptop working. The leader of the pack was in the hallway packing up the half-bath. One of the other dudes comes downstairs says something to the leader of the pack. I heard the word "Puta" again. I could tell from what very little spanish I know and his body language that he was saying "The stupid bitch didnt leave any cups for water."

I pipe up "OH! You're right! I totally forgot to set aside the plastic cups!"

The leader of the pack's face drained of all color. He nervously smiled and chuckled and said "Oh uh... thats ok..." He looked at the other dude in horror.

I ran out to McDonald's and bought some sodas and some empty cups, came back and handed them out with a big smile on my face, no one really looking at me in the eyes.

They took the entire day to pack us up. They loaded up our truck the next day. They packed up and moved my parents into the townhouse the following week. From that moment in the kitchen on, I never heard the word "Puta" again.

Tricia: 1, Morons: 0.

On job hunting

2009-01-22T13:07:00.005-05:00

Finding a job has to be one of the most tedious, gut-wrenching things a person ever has to do. It is, at least, when you feel under major pressure to find one so that you can pay your bills the next month.

I've gone to 6 interviews, 3 of which were with the same place. Every night before each interview I'd toss and turn, thoughts flying all over the place, praying silently. No matter how little sleep I ended up getting, I always awoke at least an hour before I really needed to, with a million knots in my stomach, throat all small, raging headache. I went to every single interview on an empty stomach. Probably not the best move on my part, but the thought of food never crossed my mind. I always ended up showing up to the interview 30 minutes early. An excruciating 30 minutes where I tried everything to distract myself from....myself:

"What if I'm not good enough"
"What if I'm not what they're looking for"
"What if I'm a total spazz in the interview"
"What if my breathe smells"
[Sticks piece of gum in mouth]
"Dont forget to spit out the gum before you go in"
"Man, I still hate pantyhose"
"Please, I NEED this job."

How does one distract themselves from themself you ask? Sudoku on the iPhone, dude ;).

Lucky for me and those I shook hands with, when I'm nervous, my hands dont get all clammy. They just turn the temperature of a chilled corpse. It's winter, so that can be played off easily. Uh... right?

Once in the interview, I tend to calm down. Mostly. I did notice that for those 3 interviews with the one place that I became very relaxed almost instantly, which I read to be a good sign.

In the middle of every damn interview I realized I still had the damn gum in my mouth. I'd try to nonchalantly move it to the side of my mouth when they weren't looking at me so it wouldn't be seen when I talked, and then I'd realize later on in the interview that I forgot where the hell I was and found myself chomping like a cow on cud. Professional, right? My breath was minty fresh though, so there's that.

After the interviews, my stomach would drop dramatically every time my phone rang. Or when my "YOUVE GOT MAIL" bell would chime. I wanted a job. I NEEDED a job. Each day that passed with no news, I'd grow just a little bit more pessimistic.

There is one place who has yet to call me, three weeks later. What happened to courtesy? Or have I been out of the job hunting for so long, that people just don't do that anymore. It bothers me some that they never contacted me. I keep wondering what exactly they didn't like about me. My skills? Or lack thereof? My portfolio? My suit? My Shoes? My salary requirement? The GUM?!

Happily, that's all over now. I was hired yesterday, THANK YOU GOD! I start Monday. My title is User Interface Developer. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I am excited about all the things I am going to learn, all the technologies I am going to be exposed to. I cannot wait to build on my current skill-set and learn things I never got the chance to at my old job. I'll be glad to be viewed as a professional, and not the 19 year old kid mostly everyone seemed to still see me as. When you are at a job that long, it's just like how your parents look at you--they just don't see you any older than 12. Yes, I will have to prove myself, but it will be different this time. And yes, ok, being laid off IS/WAS a blessing. I give. Even if every time I heard that I wanted to punch the person in the face (but I love you anyway)--I'm still bitter about it, give me some time.

Today I emailed every recruiter I have spoken to regarding job opportunities, notifying them that I have accepted a position elsewhere, and that they could suck it.

What? I only said that last part to myself. I didnt actually type it. C'mon now.

Grace in Small Things: Day 1 of 365

2009-01-15T14:12:00.002-05:00

Because I can't seem to think of anything to write about lately, and when I do it's dripping in bitterness and hate and worry and fear and.....well you get the idea. I was reading through Whoorl's blog to catch up on things I'd missed (cuz, hey I aint got shit-else to do) and noticed she had decided to join this Grace in Small Things challenge. I figured why the hell not. The two of you that are still here are probably bored by now ;)

So anyway, here I go.

The love and support of my close friends, my family and my favorite man in the world, BF. Awwwww.
XBOX. For it's timesuck abilities.
The fact that its Thursday, one day closer to the day that I found out whether I got this job or not. PLEASE GOD PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
BF. I know, I said him already. But SERIOUSLY. I am so very lucky.
Taking comfort in the knowledge that I am not a bad person. I am not a bad employee. THIS ISNT MY FAULT. (and yet, still feeling guilty)

As an update, things are still a little dramatic over here. I'm still worrying, naturally, about whether or not I am going to be able to pay my bills next month. I hate the idea of having to borrow money from BF. Everytime I go out and make any kind of purchase, I feel guilty. Like, if I had driven slower, or carved a hole in the bottom of the car and propelled it Flintstone's style then I wouldnt have had to put gas in the car.

Or, that Fajitas for 2 that I bought the other night. Eventhough it got my ass out of the house. That's $12 I don't have now. How was that a good move Tricia? (and uh, P.S. yes I ate Fajitas for 2 by myself. I only ever eat the meat though, so shuttup)

Speaking of eating. I'm not eating. Not very much anyway. And it's not because Im trying to be all dramatic. I'm just........... not hungry. It's a combination of the smoking and the HOLYFUCKWILLIGETTHATJOB?WILLIGETANYJOB? worry. I ate the fajitas for two, but I only had a protein shake earlier in the day. So what's that? Like 600 calories? At least Im not gaining weight I suppose. In fact, I'm losing weight--so...win?

Even things that I LOVE seem unappealing. I had pizza rolls for lunch. I ate like 6 rolls. Usually I can put away like 15 or so. Hey, you dont get all rotund like this eating 4 almonds. Know what Im sayin? I feel myself teetering on the cusp of some kind of depression. It's sad to me that a job can define my self-worth. I wake up every morning (11 counts as morning, right?) with a headache and knots in my stomach. I go to bed around 4am so it's not like I'm sleeping too much.

Hi, drama. Sorry!

ANYWHO. So yeah, hope to have good news tomorrow! How are you guys? Tell me a funny story. I need funny.

50 things...

2009-01-03T20:13:00.004-05:00

Hey, don't look at me--I got tagged ;)

1.What color is your tooth brush? White
2. Did you dream last night? No Idea
3. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers
4. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yup
5. What is the last thing you said aloud? No Audio?
6. What is the best ice cream flavor? Peanut Butter Chocolate. mmmmmmm
7. What is the last thing you had to drink? Dr. Pepper
8. What are you wearing right now? Track Pants and a tshirt
9. What was the last thing you ate? Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, it's what's for dinner!
10. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope
11. When was the last time you ran? Like on purpose? No idea
12. Who was the last person to send you a message/comment on your blog? Erin
13. Do you take vitamins daily? Did, but I've sorta been forgetting lately
14. Do you go to church every Sunday? No, but i did for a 2.5 decades
15. Do you have a tan? No, but Im darker than BF ;)
16. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? I like both equally
17. Do you drink soda with a straw? Only when I am in a restaurant
18. What does your last text message say? "I'm thinking breakfast for dinner. Burritos? Can you pick up tortillas and sausage? Maybe bacon too... Oh Milk! Need Milk? Oh, and um shredded hashbrowns heh. Please :) <3
19. Are you someones best friend? Yes
20. What are you doing tomorrow? More of the same probably. Chillin' on the couch, watching TV, messing around on the internet. Doing the 30 day shred. Hopefully.
21. Where is your dad? In our townhouse in Virginia, freezing his ass off! Sorry Daddy! HVAC will be replaced Tuesday! Keep that space heater cranked!!! LOVE YOU!!!
22. Look to your left, what do you see? Couch Pillow, wall, light switch, doorbell bell
23. What color is your favorite pair of shoes? Brown and White
24. Do you use chap stick? Yes
25. Whats your favorite thing to do in your free time? Depends on my mood, but youll usually find me on the couch, laptop on lap, tv on. I'm a real active girl.
26. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Both
27. Do you have a dog? No
28. Last guy you talked on the phone with? My dad
29. Last girl you talked on the phone with? Jess
30. Any fun vacation plans soon? Maybe NC. YAY KEGOFSUNSHINE IS COMING TO NCCCCCCCCCCCCC WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO
31. Do you dye your hair? When I have money, yup
32. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but very slowly
33. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes
34. Are you jealous of anyone? I really wish I could say no, but...Im jealous of those women who have already fought the fight and have reached their weight goals. Im jealous of the girls who go to the gym everyday and it shows. Im jealous of the people with jobs.
35. Do you love anyone? Yes, lots of peoples
36. Do any of your friends have children? Yes
37. Do you use the word Hello daily? yes
38. Do you like cats? No, I love them.
39. Have you ever been to Six Flags? yes
40. How did you get your worst scar? Riding one of those scooters that was like part skateboard, part bike, down a hill. Car was coming behind me. I freaked and jumped off, slid down the hill on my knees. Woot.
41. What is your favorite smell? CLEAN
42. What is the last DVD you watched? An evening with Kevin Smith
43. Have you ever been to Disney World? Yup
44. What is your favorite number? Dont really have one
45. Do you toast your pop tarts? I can eat 'em either way
46. Have you ever waited tables? No
47. Where did you have your first kiss? Movie Theatre? I dont remember actually
48. What should you be doing? Working Out, reading about javascript, doing more job searches...
49. Do you enjoy wasting time blogging? I enjoy reading more than writing I think
50. How many blogs to you contribute to? Contribute with comments or like, write posts for? Comments--maybe 5, Write for--0.

Now let's see... Krys, Tree, Jen from UKMcKays, Jen the redhead ;)... TAG YER IT. For those of you without blogs. Put your answers in the comments. DO IT.

New Year's Quiz

2008-12-31T09:58:00.003-05:00

Because I am in love with Sundry, she asked for people to do a quiz, and by God I'm gonna do it.

Also, hey look! a reason for a post!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got laid off, interviewed for jobs...

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ha. No. I'm thinking new year's resolutions are just there to show what a horrible follow througher (what?) I am...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, K & J had sweet little Dylan

4. Did anyone close to you die?
BF's grandmother :(

5. What countries did you visit?
Does Northern Virginia count as a whole other country? I think it does.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A JOB. heh. Well, and determination and motivation to quit and become a real no-shit non-smoker. That would rule. Also, thin. Being thin would be so great.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
[dramaqueen]Dec. 11th. The day I got laid off[/dramaqeen]

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I lost 25 lbs!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I started smoking again

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Ugly bad cold that turned into Bronchitis/Walking Pneumonia. Pre-school germs aint no joke.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy it, technically. But BF paying for KegOfSunshine and her girls to come down for my birthday was HANDS DOWN the best. Ever.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
BF--he ceases to amaze me. What a big heart that boy has *swoon*

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My former employer, and before that, my own.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills *sigh*

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
OUR HOUSE! KegOfSunshine's Visit. With my Brother's and BF, pooling our resources together and giving my parents some help financially. You could see the stress melt away from their faces. Such a great feeling.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Weird, I cant think of one. Ask me in a few years.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? uh... I'm feeling pretty good today, but lately have been teetering on the sad face side
b) thinner or fatter? THINNER!!! YAY ME!!!
c) richer or poorer? *cough*

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Laughing

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Yelling

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with BF and the cats

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, fell in love with BF all over again. AWWWWW

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Uhm, just one? I'd have to say Eli Stone. Which is being canceled. Evil people. OK TWO! Mad Men. Hands down.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I'm sorry to say, yes.

24. What was the best book you read?
I think I read a whole ONE book this year...no idea what the name of it now.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
ROCKBAND! Or was that last year?

26. What did you want and get?
Love and Affection. Yes and Yes.

27. What did you want and not get?
I can't think of anything, so it seems that I am very blessed.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh god, I dont even know. Pursuit of Happiness comes to mind, but that was last year no? Oh, who cares...Pursuit of Happiness.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
KegOfSunshine came to visit, as a surprise. And what a surprise it was! 31. Gah, don't remind me...

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ending the year employed for starters...

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Comfy is IN

32. What kept you sane?
BF

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mark Ruffalo. LOVE him.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election! I hope all the talk turns into real action.

35. Who did you miss?
Everyone.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone (ha. im cheating)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Be loyal to yourself. Be dedicated to yourself. Life changes quickly, you can handle it!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Well shit, first you wanted an entire song, now you want some lyrics too? Hmm...

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... dont live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and youll find love,
And dont forget son,
There is someone up above.

(chorus)
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?

Forget your lust for the rich mans gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

(chorus)

Boy, dont you worry... youll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

(chorus)

Happy New Year Kids! Make it a great one! Much Love!

If you get called in to a room with 30 of your co-workers. It's not a good thing.

2008-12-26T18:19:00.005-05:00

So, about two weeks ago, I was laid off (Merry Christmas!) by the company I have worked for since I was 19, along with about 30 of my co-workers--with not a penny of severance (Happy New Year!). To say that I am bitter and angry is more than an understatement, however, I will spare you the explicatives.

And while I do play the victim role very well, I have found that I am very angry with myself. I should have left a long time ago. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit when the money well runs dry. I should have known that loyalty and dedication doesn't mean shit either way, given the things I have seen over the years. I was stupid--I was comfortable, I was WAY too secure in my job, thinking my tenure would save me. I was so very very wrong, and it's broken my heart. The timing alone is just so shitty, both for losing a job and trying to acquire a new one. And I'm, you know, not the most patient girl in the world. So, I'm basically driving myself crazy.

I accept that because I was a telecommuter, and the Owner of the company being none-too-keen on telecommuting, I was an easy mark. However, that doesn't make HOW this was done OK in my book. I have learned a very important lesson, and it's early on in my career, so that's probably a good thing.

Some other things I have learned:

Keep your external resume up to date, you unbelievable idiot
Design your damn portfolio already
The concept of Family has no place in the business world. It's meaningless. End of story.
KEEP YOUR RESUME UP TO DATE GOD DAMNIT.
The economy is pure shit, I am not alone.
BF is an amazing man.
Heartbreak comes in all shapes and sizes
That shit about keeping 3 months salary in your account at all times? I shoulda listened.
Christmas without friends and family is depressing. But BF can make any shit day seem magical.
You can feel so very guilty even when it isnt your fault.
Be dedicated to yourself. Be loyal to yourself.
I am serious about the resume, gooby!
Having your resume done, and a "good enough" portfolio complete 4 days after being laid off is pretty awesome. You are a good soldier.
No job is safe. No matter how long you've been there or how loyal and dedicated you are. In the end, it counts for nothing.
A job is a paycheck, don't make it personal.

We skipped gift-giving this year, for obvious reasons, as well as the crazy travel plan we had in store for ourselves. We're just chillin' at the house with the cats. BF plays XBOX, and I do endless searches for jobs and chat with other ex-employees, some current. Lots and lots of chatting. There's a permanent dent in the couch now where my ass has been planted since we got home from Virginia. I am slowly coming out of my funk, and the hyperventilating has subsided. I havent had a breakdown in like 2 days, so things are looking up. Roll your eyes at me all you want, this shook me to the core.

I am full-on smoking.

Surprised? Yeah, me neither. I walked out of the building that day and promptly bought a pack of cigarettes, and haven't looked back. I plan on quitting the day I receive a job offer, but you know how well I commit to my declarations.

Looking back, I remember watching the news about the millions of people getting laid off without severance, or somehow unfairly. I remember thinking "thank god I have this job. I'm safe from all that!" Which is pretty ironic. Speaking of ironic, the night before I got laid off I tweeted, AND I QUOTE:

Came home frm work, worked out, now dinner, then guess what? More work! Awesome. :( i guess I should b happy I have a job, huh? And yet...

Dontcha Think? A little tooooo ironic...

It was the same when 9/11 happened. I was in drawing class, and the professor came in and announced there was some kind of bomb or something at the twin towers. I thought nothing of it, since this wasnt the first time. That was, until the Dean came into the room and announced that a plane had hit the pentagon and they are shutting down the school, we should leave immediately. I was scared as I drove home. I was heartbroken for all those people who lost their lives for no reason. The images of people jumping from the buildings is burned in my brain. But it wasn't personal. And then three days later I learned the neighbor of BF's parents was in the pentagon and was missing. It was weeks before his remains were found. There is now a memorial between the two houses, forever reminding us all how fragile life is. If I have learned anything from my personal history, maybe the next time I think it's not affecting me, I should realize that it's about to affect me.

I do have my health, and I do have BF who has been incredibly supportive and positive. I am blessed to have him in my life, as well kegOfSunshine who makes any day seem just a little brighter.

I have lost all trust in the company I once loved and felt this sense of obligation towards. When I hear my future employers speak about how we're "family" I am going to have to resist the urge to run like hell.

The opposite of NaBloPoMo

2008-12-01T17:56:00.002-05:00

For the past couple of years, I've been all, "I am joining NaBloPoMo! And I shall post everyday for 30 days, yes, yes I will!" and then I don't because. Well there's no reason.

So this year I decided to do the opposite and NOT post for 30 days. Actually 46 days. Hows THAT for sticking it to the man!

Uh, well, not really. I just didnt blog. For reasons unknown. But, let me tell you I wrote some doozies in my head. Hoooooo boy the funny that comes out of this mind sometimes, I tell ya. I remember none of it now, naturally. It was THAT important.

Anyway, so hi! How are you guys doing? I'm doing okie dokie I suppose. I'm losing weight (!) Kinda slowish, kinda not. Kinda cheating a lot so thats why it's slowish. Kinda not working out as much as I should. As a matter of fact, my jiggly ass is supposed to be in front of the TV sweating with Jillian as I sit here and type. This is sorta, vaguely, kinda not the same as working out. Don't split hairs with me, mister!

I'm kinda uninterested in work. I'm what you might call "burned out." Not that I dont have work to do because TRUST ME I've got a full plate over here. And its not that the work isnt challenging, I just... would much rather stare at the wall then do actual work. I fight this urge of course because I am supposedly this responsible adult and have like BILLS to pay. And I hear you can't draw a salary from staring at the wall. I did, however, take the last two weeks off of December. Those two weeks cannot come fast enough. I'm equally horrified and overjoyed that it is December already. Horrified because I gotta begin the tradition of racking my brain for the perfect gift for everyone--that which I usually fail at. Overjoyed, because T-W-O W-E-E-K-S O-F-F. GOD BLESS VACATION TIME.

Not that those two weeks are gonna be filled with lazy, as much as I would like them to. I've got family and work obligations, and the travel alone is mind boggling: I go to Virginia the 7th for a week for work, I leave the 12th. Come back to VA the 22nd, go to Southern Maryland the evening of the 25th, drive back home the 29th. THEN, I go BACK to Virginia, January 4th for a week. For Work. Can you hear me whining? Cuz I'm whining. LOUDLY.

See kids, this is what happens when you move to a state where neither relatives nor job headquarters resides. North Carolina still rules though so don't go getting any crazy ideas KegOfSunshine. I love you dude, but theres no way in hell im moving back. Nope.

Also, and don't faint now, I am sorta smoking again. I say sorta cuz it hasnt been everyday all day, its more like my moments of weakness are occurring more often than my moments of willpower. If you get my meaning. So *sigh* I bought a box of Nicorette yesterday, and a pack of cigarettes.

WHAT? Girl has to have one last hoorah.

Oh shutup.

And its winter now, which pisses me off. Cold and Ice and Snow and blah. Hate it. The upside is that coats, jackets, jeans and sweaters I could not wear last year, now fit. So there's that.

Well thats all very negative and bratty isnt it?

Ok, so on a positive note: IM LOSING WEIGHT PEOPLE! BF is the best man in the world, ever. EVER. Cats are all healthy and meowy. I got a new car! With NAV so I don't get lost anymore! Hardly ever anyway! I love our house! Im still not unpacked but so what! I bought Rockband 2! I haven't it yet though! And um, I think I actually like quilting!

Oh right, I didnt mention that. Yeah so, while in Colorado, I was in a quilt shop with BF's mom, sister and Aunt. I have been uninterested up to this point because the country quilts are ugly to me and I just don't like the designs. I am not a fan of kitties on my sweaters either, if you know what Im saying. But this store had like cool looking quilts. Cute Quilts even.

And so, I decided I would give it a whirl. If for nothing more than to have something to talk to BF's Mom about other than the weather, cats, and BF. BF's Mom got very excited about this, and gave me one of her sewing machines to use. I havent used a sewing machine since 8th grade Home Ec, but it's apparently just like riding a bike. Nevermind that I dont know how to ride a bike. Anyway, I signed up for a class here, and I am 85% done with my first quilt! And even though this beginner pattern is very much the type of thing that turned me off about quilts in the first place, DUDE I MADE SOMETHING! And yeah, the fabrics I picked suck ass too. But whatever. I MADE SOMETHING! I planned on making BF's mom a christmas quilt for christmas, but I am not done with this first quilt yet so it will have to be for her birthday. And then I remembered, oh yeah, her birthday is New Year's Eve. So yeah, her present is gonna be a leeetle late. heh.

K, I better go do something before my entire evening disappears on me.

PEACE OUT YA'LL.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

2008-10-14T20:51:00.005-04:00

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Originally uploaded by Grfxgrl

This here is our new guest. Our very UNINVITED new guest. Grosssssss!

I'm still swatting an invisible things on myself because I'm all heebie jeebied out about this dude.

Is there such a thing as a season for spiders? Also, WTF IS IT!?!?! IS IT POISONOUS?!?!

Say, is that why spiders and their webs are associated with Halloween? Cuz it's the season for 'em? Maybe?

AND! Earlier today, I caught the cats swatting and going all nuts at something. I figured it was a moth or a lady bug.

Not so much, it turns out. It was a centipede (millipede perhaps?) with elentytrillion little legs and the little pinchers at the end of it's body. Which one is poisonous?!

No worries though, cuz I took him outside and looked out later to find him trekking back up to the house. Which is exactly when I promptly went out there and squooshed him to smithereens. Survival of the fittest, bitch!

Ugh, the joys of living out in the boonies, huh.

Alright, Ive gotta run. I've got some important swatting at invisible things to do *shiver*.

An Exercise in Optimism

2008-10-13T14:45:00.006-04:00

Friends, September was an all-around shit month. However, taking a lesson from my lovely kegOfSunshine, I am trying to look at things as she would. She's got a sunny disposition in the face of every situation she has encountered since I've met her, and as a result is far happier than the average human. And me, I'd rather be happy than all pissy so we're gonna try things her way this time around.

Even though September is now in the past, and the dark clouds have moved along and the point of writing about this now is...well... moot. Talking to kegOfSunshine this weekend just brought it all home for me. And it's a reason to blog. So get comfy.

Saturday afternoon I am on the phone with kegOfSunshine and she is telling me how her car needs expensive repairs AGAIN and she cant afford it, and how she had to cancel today's plans because of some other stuff she was getting done to the car, etc. etc.

Now, If this was me talking, I'd be more uh hysterical, with tears streaming, all "OMG DUDE WTF AM I GONNA DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM DOOOOOOOOOMED. WAHHHHHHHHHH." Cursing the heavens, and other dramatics.

Instead, she seems...quite happy? about it? and says in the next breath, "At least, because of this I didnt take the girls to [the thing she had to cancel] and risk something bad happening while driving!"

I must be wired wrong cuz that silver-lining shit just doesn't enter my head.

I am used to her looking at the glass full in all situations, but it struck me this weekend that maybe I should try the same. Having just gone through a bout of bad luck, I thought it'd be a good exercise to reflect on some of those situations and look at them from a different perspective. Behold:

1. Colorado Vacation was extended due to BF's Grandmother passing in the wee hours of the morning the day we were supposed to fly out. We stayed 5 extra days, which incurred more flight fees, longer hotel stay which meant WAY HIGHER hotel bill, extending car rental, leaving my co-workers in a bit of a lurch cuz I was unavailable for these 5 days helping the family tend to funeral stuff and providing comfort where I could, falling off the goddamn diet I just started because we ran out of our meds.

Silver Lining: At least we were there, and everyone got to say goodbye. We all got to speak with her in some fashion before she let go. AND We were able to spend extended time with family, of whom we hardly ever see.

2. Cousin's kid caught a cold. Two days later BF's sister and I are down and out. 6 days later I am diagnosed with Bronchitis, possibly Walking Pneumonia. Awesome.

Silver Lining: I was able to spend some one on one time with the kids, and got to know them better now that they are no longer babies. I helped build a building! Out of Legos! I havent done that in forever! Legos rock.

3. Car breaks down while I am in Northern Virginia. Mother of Hell

Silver Lining: Friend helps us out, and fixes the car. Car still not running as it did, but it got me home! We'd been toying with the idea of getting a new car and selling this one. This whole debacle (it was a true debacle, but I havent the patience to go through the whole story) sent us over the edge. The weekend I got home, we went out looking and ended up making a purchase. Yay new car!

4. Was off diet for 3 weeks. )(*#$@#)(#$@#$!@#)

Silver Lining: Went in to restart once I was 100% better, was weighed and told I had lost 5 lbs of pure fat! I've been on for a week now and feel awesome, my clothes are already fitting better! First 3 days of the diet is pure hell, but I am on day 7! So no more hell! I get weighed tonight so I am not sure what the official result will be, but I think I've lost 7lbs! In a week! HOT DIGGITY!

So, kegOfSunshine: How's that for optimism?

Bad Grammar, extremely long sentences, and overuse of the comma

2008-09-03T20:39:00.002-04:00

So, hi! I turned 31 last week. Which means I am for real in my 30's. I knew it was coming, but man it feels very sudden and uh...weird. I still feel like im 22ish. Though, I do pop randomly when I move around (bones popping), so it's obvious im NOT in fact 22. And I have to wear glasses to sing on RockBand, and I wear an ankle brace on my right ankle mostly lots these days, and I get sleepy at 10pm, and I see a chiropractor weekly. But, you know, whatever. I'll embrace it eventually.

Next eeek moment: 35.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BF did the most amazing thing this weekend, more on that later. Just know that he rules. Rules way hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not a declaration, more like fact: I unpacked my willpower yesterday and signed myself up for a Medically supervised weight loss program. Today is day 1, and I haven't cheated thus far. Its 8:30, so I'm pretty positive that I will make it today. AND may I just add that BF is out of town, so I could totally cheat. But there's this pesky food/activity journal I have to fill out that's keeping me honest. I could lie on it, but what would be the point of that. I am paying...paying a lot...for this so, the only person I'd be hurting is my fat self. So why not just do it, and reap the rewards, know what I'm sayin'?

The stats they got from their little weight machine were pretty...uhh horrific:

Height: 5'4" (I FRIGGIN GREW!!! YAY!!)
Weight: Seriously? You know I am to vain to divulge that. I'll tell you when I am no longer weighing 80jillion pounds, k?
BMI: 33.8 *gulp*
Fat %: 50.1% (JFC)
Fat Mass: 98.8 lb
FFM (my bones and whatever): 98.4lbs
TBW (Total Body Water): 72.0lb

Desirable Ranges:
BMI: 18.5 - 24.9
Fat %: 21-33%
Fat Mass: 26.2-48.4lb

So yeah, fatty has some work to do.

BF signed up too, so this will be awesome being able to do it together and I won't find myself lovingly eyeing his plate of whatever I cant eat--or vice versa. And that, my friends, is a GOOD THING cuz we have this tendency to give into each other's whims without a second thought.

The program entails 3 phases. I'm too lazy to type out all that, so just go read if you are interested.

I spent 50 minutes waiting in the waiting room before I was seen yesterday, and that pissed me off. But I'm told thats a rare occurrence and blah blah. Uh huh. Vee shall see missy, vee shall see.

Im allowed 500 calories this week. 500 calories of protein. Now, when they told me that I chuckled, because ARE YOU FRIGGIN INSANE?! But! part of the supplements they give us is a appetite suppressant, and surprisingly enough, I wasn't hungry once today. I actually had to force myself to eat. I was that ~~un-hungry non-hungry~~ not hungry. I'm feeling a little jittery, anxious, something wherein I cannot sit for long periods of time. Which probably just means that its energy and my brain is confused about what exactly energy IS.

Im supposed to drink 128 ounces of water per day.

Let me just tell you how much water that is: A. LOT.

And when you drink that much water, guess what you have to do lots: PEE.

Did you know that 500 calories a day is hard to get in when you arent hungry? One of the injections I get, the side-effect is that you lose the craving for carbs. And when they told me that yesterday, I piffled because obviously they dont know me at all.

Turns out they were right!

So far I have eaten today:
4 oz. Fat Free Cottage Cheese (which is not yummy by itself) = 70 calories
1 Propel Fitness Water, Berry = 20 calories
6 Slices of Deli Turkey Meat = 45 calories
1 stick of string cheese = 80 calories
1 vanilla low carb/high protein shake = 250 calories (I know! what the deal! That's half my daily caloric intake people!)
Total Calories = 465

I STILL HAVE 35 CALORIES TO EAT PEOPLE. So I gotta find some protein worth 35 calories to shove down my throat because, guess what: IM NOT HUNGRY. AT ALL.

Crazy, right?

Anyway, so I go back in on Friday to get more injections and weighed and stuff since im on vacay next week. A secret little--okokok--LARGE part of myself hopes that I will show some progress when I go on Friday, 3 days into this, uh, "lifestyle". Something. Water? Fat? Weight? SOMETHING. BF lost several percentages of Body Fat after doing it FOR ONE DAY.

Did you hear that? That's the start of a ruthless competition.

I'm coming after you, suckah.

Snappy Title

2008-08-02T18:26:00.003-04:00

Some updates in list form! Yay!

Got my hair cut today, and it looks suspiciously like Posh Spice I just realized. Well, Posh Spice with a double-chin. It's way cute, I assure you

I've lost 7 lbs!

My hairstylist is pregnant!

I am not! (Not that there was a concern, I'm just saying...)

My hairstylist said my hair felt thicker!

Got FREE ASPRIN at CVS today!

What? I did.

Really crazy, overwhelmingly busy at work.

My dreams lately are about doing work. And I actually solved an issue once, no lie

Need more handsome stranger dreams, if you know what I am saying--and I think that you do. Ahem

Got a wii fit! My wii fit age was 43 when I started. Is now 38, 7 days later. How bout them apples?

General volume of energy is optimal, even though I stopped taking the iron supplements over a month ago. I uhh... sorta decided I was done. I dunno know why. Perhaps it was all the jacking up of my tummy that I was done with. Need to go to get bloodwork done to verify I am all okie dokie.

Rediscovered Grilled vegetables. Mother of all deliciousness they are tasty! I'm even eating the occassional grilled red pepper! Seriously!

Still refusing to use proper grammar when blogging

Mad Men is my new favorite show

How are you guys?

For real, for real?

2008-07-21T22:50:00.001-04:00

So, OK I am not going to make another declaration. Because I lack follow-through--I feel like I've said this before--and dont uh.. you know FOLLOW THROUGH on the shit I say I'm gonna do. And really, how many posts can you people read before you start rolling your eyes and saying "sure Trish, sure. Uh huh"

I realize you all already do this. Lets just go with the theory that you dont k?

ANYWAY...So instead, Im gonna say...

I'm gonna do some shit, OK? And you may or may not see a change in me in the coming weeks and that will be because I may or may not have followed through.

See so either way, I did what I said I was gonna do. Whether its what I meant to do, or what my lazy ass ENDED UP DOING, isnt the point. Cuz I covered my bases see. Im brilliant, I know.

Anyway, whatever. We'll see I guess. I'd just like to say though that I have been quite successful with the not smoking bit. I cant even remember when I quit now, it's been that long. Now, I will admit that I have bummed once or twice from people I know who still smoke, but it's usually on the rare occasion when I have an alcoholic beverage in my hand. And please, before you say anything. Shut-up. I love you though, kisses.

Since when does "occasion" have only one S? That looks so wrong to me.

By the way, may I just say: The number of people I know who still smoke? Decreasing. Fast. Who the hell am I gonna bum from now dammit?!

I mean... GOOD JOB GUYS! REALLY! BRAVO! YAY TO LONGER HEALTHIER LIVES!

Seriously? Dammit is spelled "Dammit" and not "Damnit"??? SINCE WHEN?

The spell checker is blowing my mind, it's obviously time for sleepy. xo

Conversations

2008-07-20T18:54:00.004-04:00

On the way back to the hotel last week, after visting J&K and their new bundle of precious, we may or may not have had this conversation (I say may or may not because I am not entirely sure I wasn't dreaming this because W-T-F. OVER.):

Me: Man, I am soooooo not ready for all that! Did you even see me? His neck was all wobbly! I coulda like, broken his neck for pete's sake! I had NO idea what I was doing. OMG, sooooooooooooo not ready. Are you ready? You're not ready, right?

BF: [longer than OK pause]

Me: [Possibly shrieking, I can't be sure] YOU'RE READY FOR KIDS!?!?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!?

BF: Well I...

Me: [Definitely shrieking now I am pretty positive, because WHAT THE F!] SERIOUSLY!!!!????!!!????

BF: I dunno... I just...

Me: [Mild Hyperventilating]

BF: I mean if we DID start, it wouldnt be...

Me: [Yes, definitely shrieking] W..Wa..WAIIITTTT A MINUTE

BF: What?

Me: Aren't you skipping a step here mister?

BF: ...

Me: MARRIAGE HELLO

BF: Oh... yeah. Well sure.

Me: WELL!? SURE!?

BF: Yeah but, you're definitely not ready though huh.

Me: [Brain exploding]

Mr. FunnyPants

2008-06-24T18:35:00.002-04:00

I was in NOVA last week for work, and got invited to this team-outing thing at a driving range. I told BF about it on the phone...

Me: ...Yeah, and uhh, I went to a driving range a couple of years ago, I forget why now, and I couldn't hit one frickin' ball to save my life. I remember being very frustrated so this should be a hoot.

BF: Oh man, I wish I could be there to see this.

Me: Uh... why. So you can see me suck it?

BF: Yeah, I just imagine you ... well just not being good at it.

Me: Aw, thanks...

BF: I can just see it. You swinging and missing. Repeatedly.

Me: That's not nice.

BF: Well, I mean you aren't exactly athletic.

Me: ... and you are...? [Overly Defensive. I admit it]

BF: Or! Or! You swing and miss the ball and fall on your ass!

Me: ... yeah so, how was your day.

BF: If there's beer involved you gotta videotape this event.

Me: jackass.

BF: What?!? That shit is gonna be funny!

Then again...

2008-06-12T22:03:00.002-04:00

It's hard to sit around all in pain when you've got this energy coursing through your veins. Also known as OXYGEN. Holy crap people, who knew this stuff was so good? At the same time, the pain seems to suck the energy right out of me. So, I haven't been working out as much as I should (I said "ish"!). And I want to. I want to so badly. But as soon as I start jumping around all uncoordinated in front my TV and waving my arms around, something pinches or a shooting pain goes this way or that...

and I say "oh f this" and go sit down.

My heart is in the right place at least, right?

Chiropractor seems to be slowly helping so, you know, the whining will ebb eventually. SWEAR.

In other news, our kitten, Molly, eats string cheese, Doritos, french fries, and whipped cream*. She will have nothing to do with chicken, tuna, or ham. This cat is me, reincarnated. Only I am still here. The other two are far more interested in the chicken, tuna, and ham so it works out.

*In addition to regular cat food, yes. God, what do you people take me for? Then again, we DID feed her string cheese, Doritos, French Fries, and whipped cream (not at the same time though! So there's that!), so I guess I am not the greatest pet owner in all the land. Shut up.

MAH SHOULDER HURTS. WAH.

2008-06-10T22:30:00.003-04:00

So remember last year, when I was all, ZOMG CHIROPRACTOR MAN! I LUB YEW TO PIECES! I SHALL ERECT MANY STATUES AND SCULPTURES IN YOUR NAME BECAUSE YOU RULE AND YOU MADE IT ALL BETTER. I LOVE YOU ! Call me, k?

Well I moved to another state, and decided since I was feeling fine, I wouldn't bother finding another down here.

WELL GUESS WHAT.

I BET YOU CAN GUESS!

Yes! Shit is even worse now! I cringe when I turn my head to the left cuz I get a shooting pain on the right side of my neck, which makes driving a hoot. My right shoulder and neck are in a constant state of bunched up nerves, muscles, throbby, achey. I got shooting pains going down my right arm. Muscle spasms in the shoulder area randomly during the day. When I go to bed, my lower back spasms IN A PAINFUL WAY for 5 minutes when I first lie down. It's a big ol bag of OW in that area. When I described my back to kegofsunshine earlier today, I used the phrase "JACKED UP" cuz that seemed to be the only words to summarize it accurately.

(Aw, Drama Queen! How nice of you to visit!)

I've put off going for a couple of reasons:

AM. MORON
In an internal discussion area at work, some chick posted an article about how some lady got her back aligned by her chiropractor then later that evening? BOOM! stroke. So I got all twitchy about it.

$15 copay per visit. Knowing that the Dr. is going to want to see me 2 to 3 times a week for a while, it adds up. And I wanna buy shoes :(

What?

I lie. I havent bought new shoes in 3 months. so ha.

Though... it is summer now...

There are actual reasons in that list. I leave it to you to decipher.

So after several months of ignoring it, a handful of weeks of going "oh shit, it's back. wait shhhh maybe it'll go away," one WHOLE weekend on a heating pad, And dirty looks from BF, I gave in and found me a chiropractor here. I've gone yesterday and today. I don't feel better. I know it will take time. But still. NOT FEELING BETTER OVER HERE.

Oh yeah, plus this: As an added bonus, it was apparently Receptionist's first day on the job, and she told me that with my insurance coverage, I was responsible for a $10 copay PLUS 50% of all services rendered. I drove home from appointment on Monday in shock, after having paid $50. For ONE visit.

YEAH FIFTY BUCKS. I was hyperventilating over $15. I told the receptionist and the Dr. that "I have never paid over $15 for a visit. Never ever. ... ever."

The second "ever" was to show these people that I meant business and I wasn't happy!

But I paid anyway! Cuz I am a total sucker! And maybe my coverage did change!?! Highly unlikely! But surely this girl who has been on the job FOR A DAY knows better than I.

I anger easily when I am in pain, see.

I received a call this morning "so, yeah we found out that your copay is actually $15, no deductible, and unlimited visits. So you have a couple of future visits credited. Very sorry about that."

To which I really wanted to say " BOOOOYAH BIATCH I DONE TOLD YOU!!!"

But I didn't cuz I remembered I am mature.

What? I AM.

Things are lookin' up!

2008-06-02T18:00:00.001-04:00

So either the Iron is doing its job, or it's all in my head. Either way: ENERGY. I HAS IT. Sure, it still comes in waves and once the wave crests (umm. thats right, isnt it?), this girl is pooped. And I plop right down on the couch for some good ole fashioned wall-staring.

But man, in between the plopping (ew), I am a productive little girl these days. I'm working out (ish), I'm cleaning, I'm tracking down the tumbleweeds of fur around the house that have just started appearing, along with the increase in hacked up fur balls. Mmmm tasty. By the way, product plug. If you are having trouble with pet fur, try this miracle of miracles, this genius of geniuses: [Vanna White hand movements] THE FURMINATAH. Like AHNALD would say it. BECAUSE IT AMUSES ME. THATS WHY.

GOD.

Anyway. So I'm pretty stoked that I am feeling better.

Oh yeah, Lazy Eye Update: New, less head-tilting name Amblyopia. And by head tilting, I mean when I tell somebody about my lazy eye they tilt their head to their right and stare directly at my left eye quizzically. Whereupon, I have to say "yeah its not a lazy eye in that its looking left and im looking right, it's that its weaker and my brain doesnt really use it." "Oh......???"

And besides, {hair toss},the term "Lazy Eye" is considered by some to be PEJORATIVE.{Nose in the Air} Commoners.

Read the 3rd paragraph of the Amblyopia link, then come back and laugh because DAMN IM FUNNY.

Anyway. So come to find out the youngest of my brothers also has it. And he's nearly legally blind in that particular eye. He's 42. SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO, NO? He was patched as a child but it didnt fix it. I was not patched, but I do remember some pretty kickin' pink Jordache spectacles when I was 6 or 7.

I went to an ~~Ophthalmologist? Opthamologist? OphoEYEmologist?~~ EYE MD to see if I could get a second opinion for the "ha. sucks to be you." diagnosis/treatment I had received previously. This doctor explained it to me, and I now understand. Here's my treatment: HA HA NOTHIN. SUCKER. Surgery would do nothing, because lasik is no better than lens correction and since no lenses can correct it at this point, I'm SOL. *sniff*

Apparently, this can be corrected before the age of 11. Once past this age, your brain figures out that this eye doesn't work so good so the brain trains itself to stop using it, and overworks the non-gimpy eye. Patching the good eye is one way to fix it. This forces the brain the use the gimpy eye. Also, glasses. Once past the age of 11, your brain is old and set in it's ways. Old Dog, new tricks. Know what I'm sayin'. And since I am a wee bit past the age of 11, my brain, she creaks at this point.

Neither treatments worked for my brother or I. So now we're stuck in spectacles for the rest of our lives. Woe.

I wonder what one contact would be like? Would I be lopsided?

In other news, no appearance of cankles in WEEKS. but shhhhhhhhhhhh don't say it too loud.

So, how are you guys?

Psssssst. The comment link? see that down there? Use it, k? xo, me.

Hi.

2008-05-29T18:00:00.002-04:00

I've been trying to live out in the real world more and not hide behind my laptop lately. With these random spurts of energy I keep having (YAYYYYYYYYYY IRON I <3 YOU!!), who has time to sit around and stare at the wall?

I'm kidding. I still have plenty of occasions to stare at the wall. Baby steps, people.

Mostly the problem is that I have all these cool (ya know, cool to me) ideas for hysterical, genius (hysterical, genius--to me) postings. And then I get to my laptop and prepare to type and I...

All together now!

DRAW A BLANK!

Who knew how genius that blog title was? Total accident. I couldn't think of anything else. Just like me naming my Guitar Hero Band "Flip Flop" cuz I couldn't think of anything else (I'm starting to see a theme here) and then spotted the FLIP FLOP ON MY FOOT.

Its staggering, how brilliant I am. I know.

In search of new eyes...

2008-05-08T17:30:00.000-04:00

So a couple of days ago, I went to get my eyeballs looked at because it's starting to worry me a little *cough* that when I try to look at the time on the microwave when I am standing in the living room, it's a green blur. It didn't used to be a green blur. In fact. I remember actual numbers. Yet, even when I squint, I still can't see it. :(

ORRRRRR say if I am playing rockband. I have to wear my glasses to read the lyrics. That's not very rock 'n roll. :(

ORRRRRRRRr say driving. If I wanna see a road sign before I'm up on it, my glasses better be on my face or I could possibly run right into the end of a street before realizing what's going on. I kid. I kid. But the exit signs are blurry until I'm right on 'em. HEY! Maybe that's why I missed my exit home that one time!

ORrrrrr.. well I could go on. Point is: far away? Tricia no see.

Anyway so at Optometrist appointment and I get past the glaucoma test finally. Here's the thing about that. I can touch my own eyeball. But if I'm trying to put drops in, or if someone else is trying to? Heh. Good luck mister. And it's apparently hard to shoot a puff of air into someone's eye when it's fluttering like a hummingbird. Who knew?

Moving along...

So we're doing the whole "1 better, or 2? 3 better or 4?" and she keeps going "that's so strange!!" And then she says "I think you have a lazy eye!"

She sounds so excited about it, too. And, I dunno, call me crazy. But Lazy Eye is not something I would be getting excited about. My definition of "lazy eye" is when one eye is looking forward and the other is all "dude, check this over here on the left!" Apparently, that's not the only definition of a lazy eye. She says I have the type wherein it cant be corrected with lenses. Then she goes on to tell me that my current prescription is basically a piece of glass in my left, lazy eye, and an actual prescription in the right. And that the reason why my eyesight is getting worse is because my right eye is working overtime trying to help out the gimpy left one.

She didn't say gimpy, I just added it for comedic effect. Did it work?

So if I am understanding this correctly, I could walk around with one spectacle like the Monopoly dude and have the same affect (jesus WHICH IS IT? affect? effect?) as the dual spectacles I presently own?

Sidenote: The only picture I could find of the Monopoly Man with said singular spectacle is here and it doesn't even look like the real dude anyway. Why do I remember this guy having a single spectacle? Maybe it was years ago and I am showing my age?

Anyway, not the point.

So later on, after she dialates my eyes to check for disease in said lazy eye, (Which btw, thanks for that. I'm now a vampire. Noooooooooooo the sun!! It's so bright!!! Im meltingggggg!!!!) I'm waiting for a friend to meet me for dinner to put off the driving home with that blinding day star in my face. So, to kill some time, I call my parents and tell them the news, they reply with AND I QUOTE:

"Oh yeah, you've had that since you were a kid!"

...

1. So why have I not had glasses all my life?
2. WTF. These are things you tell your child people. Seriously.

P.S. No more doctors. My body is crap. I GET IT.

Where Mah Hairz At?!

2008-05-05T20:37:00.006-04:00

Those of you who know me, know that I am fairly self-conscious (ahem) of the fact that my hair is thinning in the front of my head. The neuroses is (are?) mostly due to my mom forcibly pounding the front of her head with her forefinger and saying "Trishy! Your bald spot is showing!" Right there in the middle of dinner for my entire family to hear. At which point everyone's eyes focus squarely on my forehead.

I love her so.

And I know, I know. It's lame to blame things on your parents. But seriously? When the Woman is out in public with me and does the stomping on her head with her forefinger thing and talks through her teeth at me, after a while, a girl becomes really self-conscious.

But lately, I've been noticing it like a lot all on my own. The finger stomping is now in another state, so there's no one else to call it out to me. Except the mirrors. Sweet jesus, the mirrors! I see it all.the.time.now. So I talked to my hair stylist and she recommended I go see a dermatologist. I've gone to dermatologists before, and all they do is look at my scalp and go "hmm yeah looks like female something or other sucks to be you-itis" Whatever the word is for female genetic hair loss. I forget.

Here's the thing though. No woman in my family is losing their hair and the female elders of the family still have full heads of hair. Sure, on some its thin, but it's not like you can see their scalp or anything. The men are, however, a completely different story. I've heard it both ways. It comes from your dad's side. It comes from your mom's side. Blah Blah.

Point is: Females. Either Side. Full heads of hair!

So I thought I'd give it another go. So there I was. Sitting in the exam room I was. Thinking about just exactly I wanted to tell her, and oh! dont forget to tell her [whatever]!

BTW, I obsess. (surprise!) I obsess about making sure I tell the doctor everything. I invariably forget something. I've even started writing things down now so that I will remember. Hello, neuroticville, table for 1.

So this time I was writing on my iPhone on my little "notes" app. Think notepad only apple-ified, and thus WAY COOLER. NO! WAY COOLER I SAID! She walks in, and I drop the phone in my purse. And then immediately go blank.

She introduces herself and we shake hands, "So what can I help you with today"

I think for a moment ("durrrr..."), and then reach for my phone, the hamsters awake and I go (ding!) "Oh yeah, my hair is thinning in the front"

Anyway. This story is getting far longer than necessary.

So she made me go get bloodwork after the appointment. Her office called me this morning.

Guess who's anemic. Anemia, that which could lead to hair loss, fatigue, weight gain (caused by aforementioned fatigue), etc.

CHECK, CHECK, AND FRIGGIN CHECK!

I swear to god, I've had bloodwork done before. Nobody mentioned anemia. Ever.

So I ran out to the store after work to get me some Iron, Vitamin C (better absorption of Iron), and Fiber supplements (cuz taking iron makes your bowels all none worky. oh fun)! Yay pills! Pills to fix me! Wheeee Pills!

And hey! NOW I KNOW WHY IM SO DAMN COLD ALL THE TIME!

I hope this works. I could use more hair on my head, more energy and a little less girth around the mid-section, thats fo sho!

Tips to Prevent PMS

2008-04-30T17:54:00.002-04:00

I saw these words in my inbox and thought "yes! finally! *fistpump*" and eagerly clicked the link. I figured I'd read some things I already know, like avoid caffeine, avoid foods high in sodium, exercise, drink water, etc. But I figured surely, since they bothered to take the time to send out an email, they would have a few new kernels of wisdom.

Right? Well, here's their wisdom.

AND I QUOTE:

Because doctors are not exactly sure what causes PMS, there is no way to prevent it. However, you may be able to alleviate some PMS symptoms by leading a healthier lifestyle.

Well knock me down and slap me silly, thats INCREDIBLY USEFUL INFO. THANKS EVER SO MUCH FOR SENDING OUT THAT EMAIL.

In search of new ankles...

2008-04-28T20:43:00.004-04:00

I totally bit it on the way to my car from the grocery store. I was pushing the cart along, overflowing with stuff, iPhone in hand. Because, I don't know, I fancy myself as someone important. Who could receive a call at any second! Must be ready!

The goal for the grocery store was to acquire umm, hamburger meat I think, I left with over $100 of stuff (P.S. its creepy how fast that happens).

I slipped on the word "Stop" painted on the concrete in my worn out crocks flip-flops. It had just rained, one of those monsoon rains that downpours for 5 minutes and disappears. And I guess the combination of the wet ground, no doubt mixed with oil, the slickness of the white paint and the fact that my shoes no longer had tread = Tricia fall down, go boom.

Or you know, the fact that I am a complete klutz, could have had something to do with it.

I slipped, twisted my ankle. Grasped my phone and the handle bar of the grocery cart and somehow fell to my knees, never letting go. I heard the familiar pop that I've heard more than enough times that I have lost count.

There was a woman in front of me emptying her cart into the back of her SUV. She gasped, and said "Are you OK?!"

Still kneeling in the middle of the parking lot, still grasping handle bar and phone, I wince "um.. yeah i think so"

and then I proceed to walk to the side of the road ON MY KNEES. STILL PUSHING THE CART. STILL WITH PHONE IN HAND (my precious). I think I did this because I have twisted/sprained my ankle enough to know that I cannot always put weight on it immediately, and walking on my knees was my solution.

Vaguely graceful, no?

I'm OK now, the popping always happens. And with me and my sad little ankles, the popping means nothing. They pop when I take my first steps out of bed every morning. They pop when I take my first steps after sitting for a time. It's a normal thing. It's sore and I'm kinda limpy, but that's more probably due to the fact that I am a big fat baby. Wah.

I really need to get cracking on those strengthening exercises. Somebody remind me tomorrow.

It's high time we had a list

2008-04-14T22:36:00.006-04:00

Going to San Francisco in a week for a conference and I'm twitchy about it. Being by myself. All by myself. In a city I've never been to makes me twitchy. wah.

Taebo Bootcamp Elite, Mission 1: Make Tricia's Body Ooze Pain--Accomplished. *wince*

Blackberry knows when its medication, even if you switched to ointment to be rubbed on the inside of the ears. It's equally terrifying. And don't you even dare come near me human. I WILL CUT YOU.

Bought a pink laptop bag from ebags that is just darling. Part of the cost was donated to Susan B. Komen Foundation. I am a fantastic human.

Spent ummm... A LOT at the grocery store yesterday afternoon. Then, had Chinese for dinner. I R BRAT.

Made kick-ass dinner tonight to make up for it. Karma restored.

Any chance I can drop 10lbs between now and the time I get on the plane next Monday? NO? WATCH ME.

WHAT IN THE SAM HELL DO I PACK TO GO TO THIS PLACE. I keep hearing its windy and chilly, but nice and warm during the day. But seriously, chilly. Chilly for whom? Normal warm-blooded humans, or me? hmmm? ANSWERS PEOPLE. I NEED THEM.

So uh, hey. Anyone wanna hang in San Francisco next week with me? It'll be loads of fun!

C'mon :(

Thank You Detroit!

2008-04-07T22:00:00.002-04:00

So I was a good girl and put my tax refund in my savings account and declared to only use it when absolutely necessary.

And then I caved and used some of it to buy Rockband at Target. Woopsy.

When we were putting it together, I unwrapped the drum sticks and smiled. I had an instant flashback to me laying on my bed coloring and my brother playing drums on the back of my thigh. Or my stomach, or my arm--whatever was available or made the best sound I guess. I could smell the house and I could hear him "ratta tat tat brtrrtrtrtrtrtrtrt"ing. So weird how random objects will take you back in time and that time will be so vivid. I miss hanging out with my brothers.

Vocals and Guitar I pretty much have down but MAN do I feel ridiculous trying to play the drums, arms all flailing about and leg stomping and stammering at all the wrong times. I've never felt so out of rhythm in my entire life.

I love this game with my whole heart! Seriously!

Anyway, gotta run! I've got a drum kit to master.

A Day in the Life of the Blank Mind

2008-03-26T22:32:00.005-04:00

0730: Alarm Goes off, hit snooze

0740-0820: Continue to swat at alarm clock. Honestly, I don't know why I bother setting it.

0845: Peep clock with one eyeball, fly out of bed and start shower, brush teefs. Admire the bed head. I remind myself a lot of Axl Rose circa Welcome to the Jungle--34 seconds in.

0855: Out of shower, q-tip the ears. Cannot skip this step. Q-tipping = bliss. I am addicted.

0857: (Yes, Two whole minutes to Q-Tip. I'm telling you, its an important step dude)
Grab whatever t-shirt and trackpants/warm-up pants/workout shorts/jeans/whatever i cant wear in the office nanny nanny boo boo and throw it on

0859: Grab phone and water bottle from night stand

0900: Say bye to all the felines as if I am leaving the house. I dont know, so don't ask.

0901: Log in to work. Read email, etc. *yawn* Think to myself "so when's vacation again?"

0915: Notice that I am freezing, then realize OH YEAH MY HAIR IS STILL WET.

0916: Blow-dry hair at my desk, keeping eye on screen should anyone msg me. What happens if Im not there! They'll think im slacking!

0920: Go to kitchen and acquire some form of breakfast food. OR NOT. depending on how busy I am

1130/Noonish (depending on how hungry I am): Contemplate lunch. This can go one of two ways: 1. I grab some crap from the kitchen and go back to desk or 2. Decide going out for something is good choice. Figure out what the closest places are, do the math on how fast i can get there in back (usually nothing faster than half an hour, suck.)

1230: Eat at desk, continue to work

1245 (oh lets be honest, throughout the day): Peer over at personal computer for email, tweets, etc.

1700: Oh, would ya look at that! its 5! I should log off.

1705: Hang on, lemme just do this real quick.

1745: Real quick my ass

1800: Wander out of office and proceed directly to couch to cuddle up with blanket. BF says the office is the hottest room in the house. Whatevs, I disagree. brrr.

1830: Watch Everybody Loves Raymond Reruns. Cannot get enough of this show. Raymond is an exact duplicate of my middle brother. EXACT. It's creepy a little.

1915: Peel myself off couch and do some chores (maybe), kick some imaginary ass, taebo-style. Perhaps prepare dinner, or we go out.

2030: Screw around on computer while watching TV

2100: Ditto

2200: Ditto

2230: Go "SHIT! It's 1030 already!"

2300: "SHIT! It's 11 already!?!"

2400: Terrorize Blackberry with anxiety pill we have to shoot down her throat. Remove whole cat that is now left on my tshirt. She molts when freaked out. Watch Late show.

2430: Put earplugs in ears and sigh loudly while tossing and turning which is code for "TURN THE TV OFF ALREADY" HI. I R BITCH.

0100: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

No wonder I'm so tired all the time. YOU TRY KEEPING THAT SCHEDULE.

[Edited to Add]: Fixed times, i fail at military time. Theres no friggin 2430 ya moron.

[Edited to remove my previous edit]: HAHA YES THERE IS. JESUS.

Cankles

2008-03-24T22:15:00.006-04:00

Speaking of being pregnant, which is to say that I'm not! so proceed with the breathing (don't be freaking crazy people! jesus! you scared me too!), but a couple of weeks ago I encountered a much treasured side-effect of pregnancy--cankles.

affect? effect?

So at my last oil change appointment (as BF affectionately calls it), my doctor decided to change my birth control pills for seemingly no reason, other than he had samples of it versus what I was currently on at the time. Makes PERFECT sense.

Fucking hell man, I shoulda resisted. Ever since the change from Yasmine to Yaz, I've been what one would describe as...now, how did they put it... oh right, BITCH ON WHEELS!

LET ME JUST TELL YOU HOW FUN THAT IS:

I have actually stepped outside myself while yelling at BF for ... I dunno.. BREATHING probably. Looked myself up and down, looked at him, pointed at her (er... me?) and said "She's serious, isn't she?!"

Mother of all moodswings, dude, I was seriously out of control.

One minute, I am sulky and depressed, complaining about how fat I am. Woe *sniff*
Him: "aww sweetheart you arent fat!"
Me: "DONT PATRONIZE ME! I KNOW IM FAT"
Him (wide-eyed, with the "ok, what just happened" look): "uhhm, I wasn't"
Me: "DONT SAY YOU WERENT CUZ I KNOW YOU WERE! I DONT NEED YOU PATRONIZING ME!"
[spit flying from my foamy mouth]
Him: " "
Me: "WHAT! Tell me what you are thinking right now rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
Him: "... --- ... / ... --- ... / ... --- ..."
Me: "WOULD YOU STOP THAT TAPPING! GOD!"

I should buy him some flowers or something.

Added to that--yes! there's more!--I had a rather large water retention issue. In that all water consumed, went in, but I had zero water going out.

Do me a favor. Close your mouth and press your lips together. Now fill your mouth with air so that your cheeks are taut--this is vaguely close to how i felt. Comfy, no?

This little morsel of joy showed up Saturday the day before we traveled to NOVA. And let me just tell you, 6 hours in the car doesn't help water retention issues at all.

Every day it seemed to get worse, Tuesday I was miserable and spent the morning researching natural diuretics because OMG IM HAVING TO SQUEEZE MY FEET INTO MY SHOES!

Upon completing research, I ~~marched~~waddled over to the kitchen and grabbed every kind of tea bag that contained anything remotely sounding like the herbs I found on the internet.

Herbs found on internet:
Dandelion Root
Green Tea
Yarrow

Herbs found in kitchen:
Green Tea
Black Tea
Earl Grey
Raspberry tea
Love Lemon
(what?)

and added a tea bag of KegOfSunshine's "skinny tea"

added all 6 teabags (yes) to the one styrofoam cup of steamy water and steeped for like 20 minutes. The more steeped the stronger, no?

Let me just tell you how good that shit was.

bleh.

I took a dose midol complete because on the bottle, it said it helped with bloating.

I worked out every evening.

I went to the vitamin shoppe and bought a dandelion root pill FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.

and nothing! No Improvement! Every day i walked from the office to the hotel room (which is like, I dunno 150 feet plus one flight of stairs) and I was FRIGGIN WINDED by the time I got to the hotel door. Which Hi! I know I'm out of shape, but give me a break, Im not THAT out of shape!

I went to lunch with my team to a joint across the street from our office. I walked there and back with my team, my feet squeezed into my ballet shoes (WHICH STILL DIDNT SEEM TO STAY ON MY HEELS ANYWAY GODDAMN HORRIBLE SHOES), my body squeezed into my ill-fitting clothes, the skin on my fingers so tight that I could hardly make a fist. I was literally straining the seams of my own body. I tried hard to keep up without actually looking like I was about to die.

Friday, it was finally time to go home, wherein I cried THREE TIMES on the drive back.

And then ye gods decided to put me out of my girl misery and girl week commenced upon my return home (3 days late, I might add) and all fluids exited my body, the bones returned to my feet, my hands once again forming a fist comfortably and clothes fitting more comfortably! Shoes able to be worn with socks! PRAISE JEBUS!

I switched back to Yasmine that weekend.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself "But Tricia! Those girls on the commercial! At the bar! Talking about birth control and one happens to be a OB/GYN (whats up with that, I mean come fucking on), says that Yaz is less hormones and will alleviate PMS and Bloating, etc."

To which I will nod, close my eyes, take a deep breath and wimper. Because, I DONT GET IT EITHER.

Moral of the Story: Don't switch Birth Control without sufficient justification.

Note: FREE SAMPLES IS NOT SUFFICIENT JUSTIFICATION, CHEAPASS.

on Children

2008-03-18T22:30:00.005-04:00

Say, have I mentioned that EVERYONE around me is pregnant? Seriously! K&J, our dear friends that got married late last year are pregnant (yay you guys! Congrats!) and my friend J is pregnant too and...

OK WHATEVER ONLY TWO. Seems like a lot, OK?

WHAT?

Anyway, it's got me thinkin' about uhm... kids. More specifically, me HAVING said kids. Because, obviously, the time has come for such things! And, to be quite honest, the mere thought of that really just makes me want to run in the opposite direction screaming.

I'm not even kidding.

Dude, I like freeze up when a kid gets near me. I have no idea what to say or do around them. I know NOTHING about taking care of kids. The fact that a 7-year-old kid can irritate the ever-loving shit out of me (because HI! YES I SEE YOU! I SEE YOU! SHUTUP ALREADY!), can't be a good sign I'm thinking.

And I don't really get that because when I was a teenager I babysat a fair amount. Not that babysitting indicates future Mother of the Year awards but, I remember being vaguely good at it. Able to make kids smile and giggle. I was a friggin baby whisperer compared to what I am now man.

Exhibit A: Out with Tree for our Valentine's Day date with her adorable little man. They had run off to the bathroom, again, all in the name of keeping the little man entertained because a 30 minute wait? At a mexican restaurant? WHAT? I was starting to get twitchy myself, so I understand how he must've been feeling.

ANYWAY so they are off killing time checking out the wonders of the public restroom and the hostess let's me know that we are finally up for a table! Whee! So I sit down, and ask her before she runs off for a high chair.

A HIGH CHAIR. FOR AN ALMOST FOUR YEAR OLD. YES.

Tree finally arrives at the table and I say proudly "I got a high chair!" She looked at the chair and then at me, perplexed, and said "oh uhh... we dont need a um.. a high chair?"

Her voice raised an octive as you do when you ask a question, because in her head she was probably thinking "Are you serious?" Followed promptly by, " You're an idiot."

Because hi! baby = high chair. What do you want from me ;)

Exhibit B: My Nephew, we'll just call him Holy Terror In Sneakers because HOLY MOTHER OF SUGAR HIGHS THAT BOY... he... he's like. WOW. just... wow. Anyway, when he gets in one of his moods where he runs around in circles and screams. I sorta just...

Well I basically find myself wide-eyed with my hands up surrender-style, standing absolutely still, taking short shallow breaths. Because if I move! The velociraptor will see me! and attack me! eeeeeeeee!

See what I mean?

I've always thought that I wanted kids, but now I am not so sure. In addition to the freezing... dude, just the idea of physically having the thing? Makes me cross my legs and wince. Seriously.

This feeling is replaced with "awwwwww baby! I want I want!" right? Eventually?

Please say yes.

At the car wash

2008-03-03T22:59:00.002-05:00

BF and I deemed today "National Take the Day off Work Day." Waking up on a workday without the alarm? Pure Bliss, and you should try it. Immediately.

We were on our way to lunch for Soup! Salad! and Breadsticks! The genius lunch that is just so friggin goooooooooooood. And we stopped at a car wash to "check it out." BF, like most men, is particular about his car--and the washing of said car is no exception. There are many points to an "awesome" drive-thru car wash. Don't even try to understand it, but among the many requirements, there was one that had yet been met since we moved down here. We were in search of a dryer at the end of the car wash. Because air drying is unacceptable! Water Spots! OMG THE WATER SPOTS!!!

and lo! This one had one!

Upon realizing, this particular car wash had one, he said AND I QUOTE: "Yeah, thas what daddy like"

Then he read the car wash menu and fixed his eyes upon the words "TRIPLE FOAM" and well, I've never seen him reach for his wallet with such speed and determination.

He makes his purchase, drool already collecting in the corners of his mouth, and we roll into the bay and stop when the light tells us. BF puts the car in park and checks the windows AGAIN for the THIRD time. Content that the windows are seriously closed, he then focuses on the arms that are now moving swiftly around the car. He switches his attention to the sign that tells us what phase we are in, and I swear to you, I havent seen that kind of focus and eagerness in his eyes in quite some time. He reminded me of the kid he once was (or is...I mean HI!), it was completely adorable. All wide-eyed, watching the arms move around the car. Watching out the front window, then the side, then looking in the rear-view lest he miss the party going on in the back.

And then the TRIPLE FOAM phase came.

He said "doesnt that just look so cool!?!"

I looked at the window, as the pink, green, and yellow slowly ooozed down the window--far less impressed--and noddded, "mmhmm"

Then it was over and it was time to dry. There was a sign directing us to where the dryer timer was, and as we inched forward, he inched his head forward and squinted.

"I can't see it!"

So, I read the red numbers as they ticked by, while he inched the car forward ever so slowly--because, god forbid we miss a single second of dryness that is rightly ours afterall!

"10...9....8...7...6..."

when we got to 4, we rolled back a little to catch those last seconds.

Guys are so hilarious sometimes.

Engine Engine Number Nine

2008-02-27T23:35:00.002-05:00

Ya know, not much happens when you work from home. Nothing blog-worthy anyway. Though I am sure some would argue that most of my past topics weren't blog-worthy either. But I ignore them. Or apply duck tape to their mouths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A friend of ours swooped into town this past weekend with her usual mix of big smiles, mass amounts of wit, and lots of laughs. I love her to pieces. Please come more often m'kay? We gots room yo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BF went to the grocery store for me this week. NO. SHIT. *fist pump*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ass: Still Fat
Jeans: Still Falling--even with belt
Water Consumption: Inconsistent
Vitamin Intake: Inconsistent
Gym Visits: !!!!!!INCONSISTENT MOTHER OF HELL!!!!!!!!
Pounds Lost: still need a scale.
Wall Staring: Surplus. Mad Surplus
Smoking: Smoked Saturday evening *sigh* Margaritas were involved. I'm weak.
Bon Jovi: Still in car. Meaningful pointing continues.

And you guys? How are ya'll doin?

Now with 50% less whining!

2008-02-19T19:33:00.004-05:00

So yeah, that last post was a little whiney wasn't it? Sorry about that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BF has been out of town since two Saturday's ago. I was out of town from two Sunday's ago to this past Friday. Using dates would probably be easier, but then I'd have to go find a calendar. And I'm really comfy right now, so just try to follow me here.

All last week when I was in Virginia, my parents kept suggesting that maybe I should stay through the weekend. Or, why don't I stay next week too? You can work from home! The roof of my mouth started to get itchy cuz...another week with my parents? Hmm.. tempting.

Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But.. yeah. I wanted to go home.

So I left at noon on Friday like I always do. The trip home was longer than usual. Who knew President's Day Holiday was a traveling holiday! I missed the exit for 485 which is the highway that runs by the house.

No IDEA how that shit happened. But really, thats mostly expected of me by now, isn't it?

After cursing loudly and repeatedly for several minutes and passing SEVERAL exits that I could've totally gotten off on and turned around, I finally picked an exit, turned around and sat in traffic for a half hour, which was awesome.

So I finally got home, and aside from the cats and the tick of the clock on the wall, the house was eerily quiet. Usually, BF is at home when I get home and he wasn't.

I normally revel in my time alone but this time was different for some reason, and I have no idea why really.

The bonus was that this was a three day weekend! By myself! HOOOO BOY! ALL THE THINGS I COULD DO!!! BY MYSELF!

LIKE!... I DUNNO!

I honestly thought this weekend was gonna rule, cuz I'd be alone and umm.. stuff?

I was wrong.

JFC I've never been so bored in my entire life. I updated my flickr page, I checked twitter more than a normal human should. I did laundry, picked up the house eventhough hi! I've been gone for a week--what is there to pick up? I went grocery shopping, dropped off prescriptions, picked up prescriptions. I ORGANIZED MY PANTRY.

IM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

Tree, whom I had a date with Valentine's Day Night (wait, what?), had given me "Martian Child" to watch. I had to watch it twice, cuz I wasn't even paying attention the first time. THATS HOW BORED I WAS. I COULDNT EVEN FOCUS. WITH ALL THE LIKE... BOREDOM!

John Cusack...*dreamy sigh* The second time though, the movie was really good! Thanks Tree!

Monday night, I went to dinner with some of BF's co-workers (at his suggestion, dont be weird) because I NEEDED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

So yeah. BF comes home Friday. So I have several more boring evenings ahead. Woe is me.

Got my number? CALL ME PLS!

Oh hey, I said less whining... maybe next time, k?

on Smoking

2008-02-17T14:52:00.006-05:00

When I was a child, I hated smoking. I hated that it would make my very long hair smell like an ashtray, and my clothes. I used to complain to my mother and she'd nod in agreement, but that's all we could do was vent. By ourselves in the car--our one and only smoke-free environment. All 3 of my brothers and my father smoked. We were the minority in the household and certainly weren't going to get them to smoke OUTSIDE instead of filling up our cozy little home with that awful smell. After that one lesson in health class, I had begun to give them weekly lectures about how with every cigarette they smoked, they were taking 7 minutes off their life. And didn't they think that was awful? They should quit. It shouldn't be that hard! I was very naive.

Fast forward to me... 8th grade. My friend Jenn and I started sneaking cigarettes from our parent's packs for no real reason other than sheer boredom. We were too old to play, and not quite old enough to be hanging out at the mall like the high school kids. So we hung out in the woods and smoked instead. No one was the wiser since we always smelled like smoke anyway. Instead of candy or ice cream, we purchased Marlboro Red's from our neighborhood ice cream man.

High school. Smoked with my best friend Jennie (different girl) as she drove me home in her truck. She had to sit on her foot to drive because she was short. Shorter than me, if you can believe that. I never did smoke in the bathroom or behind the building at school. I was a good bad girl. I had my limits. At home, I'd sneak a cigarette occasionally. I'd smoke in my closet, or out my bedroom window. I didn't worry about the smell since our house was filled with it all the time anyway. I thought it was a foolproof plan.

I came home one day from school and walked in the back door of the apartment into the kitchen. My Dad was standing at the counter making himself his 40th cup of coffee of the day and my Mom was sitting at the kitchen table. I thought nothing of it, and tossed my backpack and sat down with her. Had the usual conversation: "So, how was school?" "Fine" "What did you do today" "Umm.. learned stuff."

I was a real peach.

My dad came up behind me and put an ashtray in front of me and said, "next time. USE IT" I felt my face get hot and my stomach sank, immediately filling with a million butterflies--the kind you get when you know you've been busted and there is nothing you can do. My throat went dry and I swallowed hard, and looked at my mom. I could read the disappointment in her eyes. The bond and united front we once had, was now broken. I felt like such a hypocrite.

The shame that I felt, however, didnt stop me from continuing on my smokey path. I wish it had.

After that, my parents told me it was okay to smoke in front of them. I refused. It felt so weird. It felt it close to being able to cuss in front of them and it being OK (it wasn't, I still cringe when "Shit" slips out now, and I'm nearly 31). It just felt wrong. I felt ashamed and embarrassed the one time I tried it. Years later, my dad would occasionally come visit me outside when I was smoking. The shame and embarrassment has not gone away.

College, freshman year, smoking started to become something I HAD to do instead of something I WANTED to do. I started to get twitchy when long stretches of time had passed without a cigarette. I noticed that I was always making sure I had enough on me where ever I went, lest I die should I have one less than I needed. I thought nothing of it since all my friends did the same thing. It felt normal. It felt OK. I know now that it so wasn't.

And so began the addiction. The complete transformation from relatively sweet happy girl to full-on bitch when I hadn't had one in a while. The pre-planning.

When I met BF, he wasn't real crazy about the fact that I was a smoker but accepted it anyway. Sort of. When I would get moody or pissy he'd tell me "just go have a cigarette already!" I was well aware of how I smelled and how smokey breath probably wasn't exactly the most kissable thing in the world. So I began carrying a pack of gum with me at all times. Though in hindsight, I doubt the mix of Wrigley's spearmint and smoke was any more attractive. About a year into our relationship, I realized just how much he hid how much he hated it. This is the first time I decided to quit. I failed, obviously. I failed because I didnt want to, but was doing it for him. I was in love, and wanted to make him happy.

Since then, I've quit for a zillion reasons. Recently though, the reasons have been for me. Because about 4 years ago I began to hate it. Yet it calls to me, in a loving, soothing, familiar voice. It is the first thing I go to when I am stressed out, having a bad day, or just for no reason at all. I've been a smoker now for 12 years.

There's days when I am glad I no longer smoke, and there's others where I miss it so much that my heart beats faster at the idea of having just one.

Some days are easier than others, and yeah, I do hit minor bumps in the road and give in for a split second. But I keep trying. And that to me, is a victory in itself.

I really want to be a non-smoker (and have been on Chantix for 3 straight weeks now) but every time an occasion comes up in which smoking used to be involved for me, like say going to a bar, etc. My throat tightens and my heart starts to beat faster in anticipation, and I begin to doubt myself and already start to plan how I will deceive myself. The next day though, the after effects shine through and I get right back on that horse.

I have become aware of the effects smoking has on my body. I have some ... uhh... digestive issues that are only exasperated by smoking. My nails become brittle, the skin on my fingers is apparently very delicate and I get that awful tinge of yellow between my index finger and my middle finger. My skin dries out. I have headaches a lot more often. My level of fatigue is heightened drastically. My throat is perpetually scratchy and tight. Phlegm. It's just all around bad and nasty, but I forget all of that when the thought of how smoking just one would be so nice right now. I know it will kill me and yet it hasn't been enough to make me stop. It's amazing how reason and intellect fly out the window when addiction is involved.

I hate that my quitting has become this running joke between me and everyone around me. I call it my hobby and laugh at it to hide the deep disappointment in myself. When my friends or BF rolls their eyes at me when I tell them I have quit, it hurts way deep inside. But I smile anyway and say "I know, I know." I would really love for one of these times for someone to squeeze my hand and look me dead in the eye and say "I know you can do it." But I know that it is my fault and mine alone that I have not been successful yet, and I can't blame the lack of support.

Still. Having someone support my determination at least, would really mean a lot.

All 3 of my brothers and my father are now all smoke-free. They did it, seemingly, with complete ease, and I just don't understand why this is so hard for me. It's just so very disappointing.

One of these times I will be successful in my endeavor. I need to believe this time is it.

Sounds of Basketball

2008-02-11T20:27:00.000-05:00

In recent years, my mom has become a serious basketball fan. More specifically, a die-hard San Antonio Spurs fan. My brothers and I are highly amused about this for two reasons:

1. When we lived in San Antonio she could've cared less.
2. Watching her watch a game is so much fun. Hell, even listening to her while in another room is downright entertaining.

She sits on the edge of her seat with one leg folded under her. She sits straight up and rocks forward and stretches her neck when the ball is in the air. If it's the opposing team shooting, "NOOOOO! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT! MISS IT!" If they make it, "AWWWW!" and slouches in defeat. If they miss it, as she requested, "WAY TO GO!", complete with fist pump (so THAT'S where I get it from!)

Sometimes in unison with my dad.

If the Spurs are shooting, "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" Should they miss, "C'MON [player's first name--you know, cuz they are so tight]!" If they make it, "WAY TO GO!" and then immediately turns to my dad, and says, "three pointer?" he says, "no, two."

They then watch TV for an hour or so to "settle down" It's constant yelling at the tv, mostly from my mom. Which is quite different from what used to be the norm: my dad furiously yelling at the tv (he tends to uhh, pick lack-luster teams), while my mom occupied herself otherwise. It's nice that he now has a partner to watch one of his favorite sports with. Hearing her yell and clap and get so excited makes me smile.

I hope that when I am married for 42 years (I think? Math hurts my teeny brain), I will have that with BF too.

[Edited to Add] It's 48, not 42. I knew that looked wrong.

Monthly Roadtrip to VA: Highlights

2008-02-10T22:22:00.000-05:00

Packing the night before is ingenious, why didn't I think of this sooner?

Gassing up the night before, also brilliant

Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet is amazingly entertaining on a long drive

Driving in high winds requires two hands, moron

Cops seen: 2335678901

Tickets acquired: 0 *fist pump*

Speaking of fist pump, what is it about Bon Jovi that makes me do odd things with my hands? Fist pump, meaninful pointing, etc. (I mean really, how else would you sing Living on a Prayer?)

Note to self: When you leave earlier, you encounter assloads of traffic

Drove by an accident where a tree had fallen on a moving vehicle. Yowzah.

Did the whole "Holy Shit dude, if I hadn't stopped to pee, that totally coulda been me!

Turning up Bon Jovi LOUDER helps stifle the drama queen.

Switching to Al Greene while moving a whole 2 mph on 95 calms the beast within. Car dancing does a lot for the soul.

Upping water intake has adverse affects on making trip in 5.5 hours.

Saw a pink and purple striped AND checkered car. No lie. Driver was serious about it too.

Taking pics of said car with iPhone in windy conditions? Not so brilliant. Nor fruitful. Did get a picture of my rear view mirror though.

Driving headaches are the awesome.

Is can be go home time now pls?

Lazy: 1234234532523523523523, Tricia:1

2008-02-06T20:48:00.000-05:00

Seriously. I done worked out tonight!

Try not to faint, I know it is hard.

Between the email banter from my two girls back and forth today and a discussion with Cluss this morning, these women gave me the strength (and the guilt, thank you KegOfSunshine :P) to go forth and sweat.

After work, I had big plans man. BIG! HUGE!

I was gonna do dishes, scoop some kitty litter, switch out some laundry, then march upstairs and pop my Turbo Jam DVD in and move my flabby ass.

All was going well until I entered my living room (which, mind you, is FIVE steps from my office)... and the couch called to me. No seriously! It said "Tricia, come sit with me. I'm so lonely without you. wooooooooooeeeeeee."

... ok so, too much?

Anyway, I gave in and cuddled up with the blanket (I'm always cold after work, don't ask me why) and turned on the TV. The minute I settled in, guilt washed over me, and I thought to myself "Ok dude, but only for 30 minutes."

I watched the clock more than I watched whatever it was that was on TV. When it was 5 minutes 'til, I decided to ignore the clock and focus on what I was watching and get warm. The chime on our clock sang its little song, and i sat.

2 minutes later, I had just about convinced myself that tomorrow! totally tomorrow! I'll do it.

and then I heard kegOfSunshine in my head telling me she was going to call me tonight and check to see if I had worked out like I promised. I contemplated lying, and then immediately realized that even if i could lie to her (which I cant), I would feel so very very guilty.

And apparently the feeling of guilt is a motivator!

I kicked off the blanket, skipped the chores, and marched my lazy ass upstairs. Changed Clothes and worked out.

Yes.

And then I came down, did my chores like a good girl, and made dinner. Let's not discuss what I ate for dinner though. BABY STEPS PEOPLE.

And I STILL had time to stare at the wall tonight. Imagine that.

I took my vitamin this morning (check) and I had 4 24oz bottles of water today. I plan on having 1 or two more (check check check!).

I have had to pee A LOT today. In fact, Ive had so much water to drink today that I pooped water. No lie.

You're welcome.

In a Rut.

2008-02-04T21:31:00.000-05:00

You ever notice how I make a declaration on here and there's a couple of updates regarding my progress and then it sorta disappears?

I'll give you two guesses what that means.

It means I lack follow-through and willpower and perseverance. The force of lazy and general suck is strong with me. I admit it openly and outwardly.

I have yet to go back to the gym. I smoke every so often. I have not lost a single pound. I have not purchased new jeans (did buy a belt though!). My water intake lacks in quantity and my vitamin intake is null.

I have two friends dear to my heart who made a pact with me in which we would workout, eat right, run a marathon (HA) and get hot and skinny and go to beach with no shame. We even discussed perhaps the carribbean and the like.

We promised to check in on each other and pester pester pester and motivate motivate motivate!

Thus far, I'm the only one who hasnt "womaned up", as it were.

I get emails from these two almost on a daily basis and seriously ladies, I cannot thank you enough for the persistence. Please do not stop.

I will admit, there is a gigantor part of me that wants to blame the bit of drama life has handed me in the last week or so, or the large quantities of work I have been doing or ....I DUNNO THE SUN SHINING. SOMETHING. I WANT TO BLAME SOMETHING.

I hit reply to these messages and begin to type the reason du jour, and then I find myself getting PISSED OFF. My heart starts to beat a little faster and my teeth start to grind because I know. deep down. There is no suitable excuse. I hit backspace and type "I KNOW. theres no acceptable excuses." Because, jesus christ Tricia. How hard is it to jump around to a workout tape for 30-45 minutes. I mean really.

I have every intention of working out. I set my alarm every night so that I will wake-up and have enough time to work out prior to logging in to work. And then I stay up til god knows when tossing and turning and thinking about this or that PLEASE SHUTUP BRAIN I NEED SLEEP. NO. SHUTUP. SERIOUSLY.

So my alarm goes off and I either hit snooze for the next however long, or I reset my alarm to wake up 20 minutes before I have to log in to work. And even then, I have to pry myself from the comfy clutches of my bed.

I love how I cant sleep all night but the morning. the morning is when i suddenly have no issue.

Oh look, an excuse! Excuse me while I FALL OVER IN UDDER SHOCK.

I get up and shower. vow to workout after work.

and then I .... ugh working out after work, its just not happening. who am i kidding?

and round and round we go.

I made brownies after dinner tonight. Ha Ha. I rule at this.

Guess I will try again tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Surprising the un-surprisable. hmph.

2008-01-22T23:17:00.000-05:00

Today is BF's b-day. BF is one of those low-key kinda guys, one of those like laid back "hey whatever man" kinda dudes that is pretty much cool with whatever, whenever, however and with whoever.

And that works out for us, cuz I'm more of the um...EXACT OPPOSITE.

PRINCESS NEEDS HER SHIT THE WAY SHE WANTS IT. HOW HARD IS IT DAMNIT!?!

I mean. hey dude, happy birfday! for really!

He's also the type of dude that never really wants a big to-do over him, or like occasions that involve all eyes on him. Birthdays being one of those occasions. So I try to squeeze in surprises where I can. Dinner at home, and like playing halo. It doesn't leave much for a girl to work with.

I asked him like a week ago what kinda cake he wanted. Did he want want one from the grocery store, or did he want me to make one?

Without hesitation, he said "Yeah! Harris Teeter cake!"

and while that sort of initially stung because, WTF he doesnt want ME to make him a cake? He wants a store-bought-stranger-made-cake? *blink* WTF! (Look at that. I made HIS birthday cake about me! I RULE at this!)

However, I will concede that the cake we bought for his Mom while his family was here (her bday is new years eve), was INCREDIBLE. so ok. fine. harris teeter it is.

he thought for a minute and said "or ooooooooo! a ice cream cake!"

cuz he's 5 apparently.

I didn't really react towards either suggestion (on the outside) cuz I was thinking this would be my chance to slide a bit of a surprise in there somehow.

Ice cream cake! When he's expecting Harris Teeter cake!

THE CREATIVITY BOGGLES THE MIND DOESNT IT!?!

Anyway, so I decide to go with a Coldstone Creamery cake, and while im choosing his cake online (what? go to the store? please people.) I found a specialty cake that used his favorite flavor but was combined with red velvet cake. And I didnt know whether he liked that type of cake, so I had to ask him if he likes red velvet cake.

Which. ha. I know. REALLY GONNA BLOW THE GUY OVER WITH YOUR DAMN CAKE NOW ARENTCHA!

Me: Do you like red velvet cake?
Him: Yes.

and that was it! So I thought... OK cool. He's gonna play nice and not question.

He gets home from work later and I swear the first thing out of his mouth was:

"So red velvet birthday cake eh?"

"shhh. you'll find out later"

so a day passes or so. He comes into the office where Im working and spies a flyer for cakes, coincidentally, on my desk.

He says "Baby Kakes?!"

I look in the direction he is looking "Oh. yeah. was in the mailbox." I pick it up and hand it to him.

"Do they by chance have...red velvet cake??? OH LOOK THEY DO"

I smile because "HA HA I WIN I WIN"

So today rolls around. and the poop decides to work from home.

I offer to pick up lunch since I have to go get his cake. and I apparently offered it up a little too fast because once I said it, he was all suspicious face, "you offered that up awfully fast"

oh shit. "oh. what do you mean! its your birthday! god! what do you mean!"

and ok. a litttle too much. but whatever. MUST. SURPRISE. HIM.

he says "ok well if you are gonna pick up the cake, ill call in the order for lunch after you leave"

damnit.

"just order it now dude."

cuz coldstone is right next to where i was picking up lunch.

Im growing tired of this story...

Anyway point is. he guessed it. before I could surprise him. shithead.

not that im the brilliant genius when it comes to hiding things either. but DAMNIT!

MUST YOU! RARRR!

and lets not even discuss his present which is currently on his way here. BECAUSE HE GUESSED THAT TOO.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. i wanted to surprise him with something. It's just not possible with suspicious face though *sigh*

did you get that? *I* wanted to surprise him.

again. about me.

ONE OF THESE DAYS I WILL GET YOU MISTER. ONE OF THESE DAYS *shakes fist*

oh yeah, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BF! HOPE YOU LIKED YOUR CAKE! LOVE YOU!

This message brought to you by the letter "L" for laundry.

2008-01-02T22:11:00.000-05:00

Previous Evening: Set my alarm for 0930 so I would wake up at a reasonable hour...I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told Bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable vol...

what?

oh hi!

Right so, I set my alarm for 0930 so we can get ~~up at a reasonable hour~~ our asses to the gym and also so that when I get up for work/gym thursday morning it wont hurt so bad.

0922: Call from my Dad, regarding some bill that got sent to the townhouse by mistake that was due in two days, and granted, I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN. But JFC Dad :( why so early.

0930: Hit Snooze.

I musta done this ummmmmmmmmmm a lot. Cuz the next thing I know, I'm opening my eyes and squinting at the clock. 12:02. I rub my eyes because surely.....

sonofa.... :(

We both casually avoid mention of the gym and proceed with the rest of our day.

Showers.

I call out from the shower "Hey! we could go to the gym after lunch after we digest! Like at 3 or so?!"

His response: "Yup, sure could."

Go to Olive Garden for Soup, Salad and Breadsticks lunch. God that lunch rocks.

We also got the Alfredo dipping sauce. Shhh don't tell.

Home.

As soon as I walk in the door, I switch out the laundry and march upstairs. I spend a long time folding and putting away like 4 loads of laundry. We were back-logged from when our company was here. When I finally got around to maybe doing some laundry when they were here, they had hijacked the machines. *sigh*

and then, you know, I took like 3 days off from life to stare at the wall.

I've since done 2 more loads and I do believe that I have 2 more left in the hamper. It's like it never ends. Halp :(

Completed upstairs duty. Came down folded another load. Switched out laundry.

and then I took time out for recess.

I ripped open Dance Dance Revolution Universe (i heard that) and played for a while (p.s. I'm not that good...yet. But I will be, beleeee it.)

Then I played GH3 and unlocked Tom Morello and kicked his ass. woo woo!

Dinner at outback with some friends.

Back home, laundry folding, switching out laundry.

BF scooped litter and emptied the dishwasher. *faints*

Was a super super day, and I think I'm actually looking forward to working tomorrow... I think.

I'm leaving those last two loads for tomorrow cuz jimmmney christmas people! It's only two of us! How the HELL!

We somehow missed the gym though. No idea how that happened. *whistles* We shall try again tomorrow. All we can do is continue to try right? Until we do? WE HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS DAMNIT GET OFF MY ASS.

love you :)

Monthly count:
Gym = 0
Cigarettes = 8 (I stopped yesterday--oh shutup. I know I know)
Salads consumed = 2
Sodas consumed = 0
Sweet tea's consumed = 5 :( Goddamn I love sweet tea. This will be hard. K, you are my inspiration on this one. Keep it goin'!!!
Vitamins consumed = 0; I knew I was forgetting something. shoot.
8 glasses of water/day consumption met= 0
Pounds lost/gained = not sure yet. Gotta go to gym to weigh myself. ORRRRRRRRR I could go buy a scale. But this excuse works better for me.

K. Im stopping there cuz thats really enough to keep up with already.

New Year's Resolutions...

2008-01-01T19:21:00.000-05:00

1. Realize that I don't bounce back as quickly as I used to after a night of drinking. Turn it down a notch please Tricia. God.

2. Quit Smoking (gotta keep those hobbies alive!)

3. Go to the Gym enough times that I cant count it on my one hand....in one year. (God, I suck) Lose weight. Get comfy in my skin again.

4. Read more--and not on an LCD screen.

5. Pay attention to the news even though I could really care less. It's just so negative. Bringing a sister down.

6. Make a concerted effort to finish unpacking the house. We made quite a large dent before all our company showed up, but it's not quite done yet.

7. Stop making excuses. Just do it already. Whatever "it" may be.

8. Be more self-aware before and during, and less after the fact, ok asshole? thx.

9. Be a better friend.

10. Get jeans that fit. M'fing Old Navy jeans are just retarded. They fit super for the first, I dunno 5 seconds, and then slowly begin to head south with each step I take, and I'm pulling them up all day long. Super irritating.

I lead a pretty blessed life if all I have to complain about are some crappy jeans though, eh? ;)

What are ya'lls resolutions?

I done got tagged...

2007-12-30T23:17:00.000-05:00

I got tagged twice to do this thingy where I like.... say stuff... and like.

Oh fine, here's the directions, it's just easier.

Here's how you play:

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog w/ 10 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment ("You're It") and to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you. Since you can't tag me back, let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers!

1. I'm right-handed, but do everything but write with my left. Almost ambidextrous. only... not.

2. IM STILL M'FING SMOKING. MOTHER OF HELL. WHY CANT I QUIT YOU :(

3. I have small feet. (ok. Im cheating. I know. I cant help it. Im drawing a blank!)

4. I am deathly afraid of falling. You can see this first-hand while watching me try to cross a parking lot covered in ice on foot. It will take me a ridiculous amount of time to reach my final destination. It's best to not wait. seriously. STOP LOOKING AT ME! I COULD FALL! MUST BE SAFE!

5. I fell a lot as a kid. I mean A LOT. pretty much every single day on the way to school. I bit it.

6. I was afraid of a lot as a kid. I did the slip and slide only once. and it hurt my ass. never again bub. never again. Never hung upside down on the monkey bars, never played much that involved a ball of any kind. I flinch. still do in fact. I dunno how to ride a bike. My brother tried teaching me when I was like I dunno 12--far older than when one usually learns to ride a bike. I was doing well, traveling downhill and a car came. I freaked. I jerked the handle bars, completely forgot about the crazy invention called breaks and my mouth met the curb. Lots of blood. Never again. I also dunno how to roller skate and you can just forget ice skating so dont even ask.

7. In college, I did this photography project with a classmate that involved ice skating. And I got to be the subject rather that the photographer. In my cat in the hat halloween costume. Because the idea of ice skating wasnt enough. I never let go of the side rail. At least we got a fucking A, that's all I have to say.

8. I swam a lot as a kid. I swam from morning til lunch time. Went home to eat. Came back and swam til the street lights came on. I was a freaking fish for several years. I had a killer tan and could do a backflip off the side of the pool. I tried to do it like a couple of years ago. Came quite close to smacking my head on the side. I maybe need to work on my jumping.

9. Elementary school age, was playing blind man with neighbor kids. It's a combination of hide and seek and like marco polo --that involved rocks. (I dunno.) I threw this HUGE rock at this kids forehead. He bled a lot. He looked at me in horror and said "IM GONNA TELL MY MOM" and I said "ok"--cuz what exactly do you say in that situation--with my hands covering my mouth, also horrified. I ran home and told my mom. My mom and dad ran over to their house and then to the store for butterfly bandaids. I cried for a full week. Received no sympathy from either of my parents--and rightly so. He was never mad at me, but he wasnt allowed to talk to me anymore. He moved away eventually. I saw him in high school? Or freshman year of college? BIG ASS SCAR ON HIS FOREHEAD. I suck. I STILL have no fucking clue why i did that. I remember thinking when i did it, "haha! I got you!" and then I saw the blood and thought "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt!" Hello stupid. Huge rock. What where you thinking? I'm sorry Joseph :(

10. I like to think of myself as very self-aware. But I'm not usually self-aware until AFTER the fact, so self-aware or not. I'm still an asshole most of the time.

11. I really want to erase #9.

I pick:

1. Jay--cuz I said so.

2. Harmony - cuz, I loves you

3. Cluss - cuz I wanna know more about'cha

4. Teresa - cuz you've been tagged already and haven't done it yet. Shame on you missy ;)

5. Scott - cuz I know you wont do it. But, there's always that chance ;)

6. Tim - cuz you live the life now that I covet. So. Jealous.

7. Everybody else that I know doesnt have a blog. GET WITH THE TIMES PEOPLE. AND MAKE IT SNAPPY. You've got your first entry right here! DO IT.

8. Jen - to take your mind off being preggers and uncomfy :( Also, wanna know more.

9. Santa Claus

10. Tooth Fairy

(I ran out of names :( )

Consider this your tag. I'm a lazy whore.

and...I'm spent.

2007-12-29T22:04:00.000-05:00

So, hi!

Can I just tell you how much this past month has been crazy? My schedule alone has been busy and lacked the time to just sit around and stare at the wall with my mouth hanging open for hours.

I do love to stare at the walls with my mouth hanging open. The drool is a bit of a problem, but hey. There's always a con.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We had guests in our house for 10 days. Yeah... 10.

T-E-N.

I musta been on crack when I agreed to that man. Cuz holyyyyyyy crap. I'm one tired little lady now. Since my brother left this morning we have not moved from the couch. We ate leftovers (I know! Me! Leftovers! This is how much I didnt want to move.) I have yet to do the dishes today. We have watched a lot of TV and there has been a lot of staring at the wall.

I am loving every second.

My brother and sister-in-law showed up thursday the 20th, late afternoon--a day late, but hey whatever. They hung out til Saturday morning. Saturday evening, BF's family shows up and did not leave til the 28th. That's like. A LOT. more days than I would recommend. My brother and sister-in-law came back the evening of the 28th and left around one today.

whew. hang on. I need a minute.

Sunday before Xmas his family and I went shopping. yes. shopping! in the mall! Even though I made every goddamn effort to be completely done before they showed up so I wouldnt have to go. Only to be foiled by goddamn obligation. *shakes fist*

I so hate the mall dude.

Then then! THEN! The cooking commenced. Two full days of cooking. Of washing dishes. of running the dishwasher. of wiping down counters. of putting away dishes. of reading recipes. OF GOING TO THE GROCERY STORE YET FUCKING AGAIN.

Actually, we only went three times. What the hell am I whining about.

*grumble*

Dinner was consumed in like 5 seconds flat. so rewarding, isnt it?

I did actually enjoy the time spent with family, no matter how awful I make it sound. I'm leaving out the constant laughter and the late nights playing games, etc. His family really does know how to make a holiday special--and I mean that with absolutely no sarcasm.

Having said that, I sure am glad it's just me and BF again. Hosting people in your house is exhausting.

For new year's we usually rent a cabin and spend the new year with our friends drinking, eating, drinking, playing games, the traditional new years eve midnight mini bonfire with s'mores and champagne.

We arent doing that this year for a couple of reasons: 1. we didnt plan it, 2. we're tired of traveling 3. we're tired of traveling. Hanging in the house for a few days enjoying the silence sounds perfect to me.

AND! I don't have to go back to work til next Thursday. It's bliss. BLISS I TELLS YA.

Merry Belated Christmas/Holiday and Happy New Year Ya'll!

xoxoxoxo

ding! fries are done!

2007-12-11T20:20:00.000-05:00

So on my way to Virginia this past trip last week, I made some critical errors not 2 miles from my house. 1. I took the back way that BF insists is better than the way I go, so I figured why not give it a try 2. I went the wrong damn way on 485. Allow me to extrapolate:

I will begin with 2 because I didnt realize the error of #1 until I had performed and fixed #2. So I get towards the exits for the highway and I'm like "shit! is it east or west! west or east! oh no! oh no!" So I immediately text BF, who of course, was unreachable cuz I also tried calling him once he didnt answer my msg in 5 seconds. So I cue up the ol' Navigation system and it tells me to go west. OK! West it is.

I know exactly why I get confused with the east and the west and I would like to blame it on BF. Seriously, he does this every time. He gives me directions and I'm repeating em back in my head "ok west west west west weeeeeeest wicked witch of the west" and then he goes "errr, wait EAST I MEANT EAST" and so I try to erase that memory, which never works. So each time I am like "oh fuck, east or west" my mind says "WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST HA HA AM BRILLIANT! I REMEMBERED!"

So I am driving along and I notice the exit for BFs work--which ha, SO not the right way. So I get off the highway and getting ready to turn around and decide I need verification. So I call my Dad--who btw, I gained my geographically challenged gift from, but hey whatever.

"Dad, I'm an idiot and forgot which way I go on 485. Is it East or West? Do you remember?"

"Wait, what did you say?"

"EAST OR WEST ON 485" (Hi. I have the patience of a goldfish)

"Oh! Uhhh.... east or west...hmmm.... Well east right? cuz you're coming up here right" (he's a brilliant genius too it seems)

"OK, I'm turning around."

"Oh, well where are you?"

"..." seethe. "Im near brad's work, and the Navigation is trying to get me to take 77 which means I gotta take 81 to 66 and I dont wanna do that" (I learned later that, hello stupid, you can catch 85 off of 77)

"oh, yeah you are going the wrong way"

"..." no! ya dont say!-- and I'm not even PMS'ing. Imagine the possibilities.

So anyway, I turn around and I finally get a call from BF

"hey, whats up? Where ya at?"

"Oh, well I got confused about east vs. west so I went west and then passed by your work and figured that was the wrong way." [Passes exit I got on the first time]

"oh. yeah. thats the wrong way"

"yeah [then passes exit I normally get on]. oh shit. ha. and I just realized that the way I took to get on 485 was an exit BEFORE the one I normally get on. I tried your way for the hell of it"

"Uh... why would you do that?"

"Don't think I cant smack you through this phone bub."

"hehe"

"k well, im just now leaving then I guess and just wasted a half hour driving up and down 485."

"ya know ya coulda just taken 77 to 85"

"[lightbulb] oh umm. yeah. I know *cough*"

"uh huh"

Ditzville, Population: 1

2007-11-29T20:26:00.000-05:00

So BF and I went to Texas for thanksgiving. One of my brothers' was smart. and stayed in Texas.

Where its like warm. and the food is mighty tasty. mmm tacos....

ANYWAY. so theres apparently no direct flight from anyfrigginwherenearus to Austin so we had to fly from here to DFW and then from DFW to Austin. If you ask me, 20 minute flights are about the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, but what do I know.

So we get to the hotel around midnight cuz we just so happened to be traveling the same day that DFW decided to have a nice little power outage, and so we were about two hours behind in our fancy little schedule. Which, I know, isn't as bad as it totally could've been. I still say they should have backup generators for that noise. Planes in the air! They dunno where to go! It's madness!

So at the hotel we're unpacking and getting ready for bed. I go to my purse to pull out my cellphone to charge it up and I'm digging digging--this isn't abnormal for me since I have a gigantor purse and carry a lot of BS in my purse.

Digging, Digging...

Digging, Digging...

WTF?

digging! digging!

uhm...

DIGGING! DIGGING!

Then I turn the thing over and dump all the crap out. I have that Samsung A727 which is a candy bar phone thats the thickness of 3-4 credit cards so it's not always easy to find right away.

Except this time. I dont find it. Like anywhere.

I immediately check my jean pockets because surely I put it there.

Or OH! I KNOW! Laptop bag! Yes! No. Shit. Suitcase??? No! WTF! I check my sweater (which has no pockets, but hey whatever, it could happen). No! Damnit!

And then I flash to me, on the phone @ DFW airport with my brother giving him the low-down and how we're gonna get in late so I'm calling now so I don't wake you guys up later.

CUZ IM FRIGGIN KIND AND THOUGHTFUL.

And I sit there and think long and hard about what happened next. I ended the call, BF showed up with dinner (so very hungry by this time, btw).

Phone was in my hand.

Turned to the left to toss it in my purse.

Did I toss it? did it fall in the seam of the chair? Did I stand up and it fell off my lap and I didnt hear it cuz the announcer was busy ending my sense of hearing with her loud ass announcements? Did I eat it?

I remember phone in hand. and then ohhhhhhhhh hamburger! gimme!

shit I get distracted easily.

WTF HAPPENED OMG WHAT DO I DO!?!?!

So BF called the phone and it went straight to voicemail.

"oh yeah, it was dying so I turned it off"

THIS i can remember, but the final destination of my phone? Not so much.

So I'm like "aw shit" and I get online to figure out what I do now. I disable the phone and when I'm logging out, I see the sparkly iPhone--my precious--on the page calling out to me.

SO I BOUGHT AN iPHONE THE NEXT DAY. YES.

What can I say, I'm weak like that.

Two days later, I figured out that i also left my ipod mini on the plane from DFW to AUS.

I am no longer allowed to travel with fancy electronics.

BF still maintains that I did it on purpose. I swear to everything possible to swear to that I didnt....

but ha ha! sqweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I GOT AN iPHONE BITCHES!!!

iPhone purdy.
iPhone so friggin cool.
my precious.

So Cluss, this is why I didnt call. I lost my phone. True story. :(

Also, if anyone see's someone with a pink mini with MY NAME engraved on the back, you know what to do.

The one about the Grocery Store and the .... thriller video? What?

2007-10-11T17:18:00.000-04:00

A discussion I just had with BF:

BF: Hey, so what was the plan for dinner?
Me: [Swedish] Meatballs
Me: but I have no noodles :(
BF: that's serious
Me: don't I know it
BF: then we shall do Chinese?
Me: wow you'll do anything to get out of going to the store
BF: Yes

hmph.

I find myself hating the grocery store more and more lately. I mean once I am there, it's not bad. It's the going and more specifically, going by MYSELF thats asstastic.

Don't ask me why I NEED him there, cuz lord knows he irritates the shit out of me the whole time we are there: "OK done? Are we done? How about now? Done yet? Seriously, let's be done now. Cmon. How about Now?"

And yes, I do have to fight the urge to smack his face off when he does that. But it doesnt stop me from wanting him to be there. Most of the time, I do go by myself cuz he makes this HUGE issue about him accompanying me. He says its cuz he used to have to go with his Mom when he was a kid.

My response: " *blink* Were there like, evil trolls at the store you guys went to or what?"
Him: "Very funny. No, I just don't like it"

Hardly sufficient justification my friend.

The combination of being by myself, and the fact that I inevitably end up seeing no less than 5 couples shopping happily together makes for a moody Tricia, and I end up arriving at home, groceries in tow, in full on bitch mode (more so than usual, I mean--I heard that!). And really, that just makes life harder (for him).

When I was a kid, I LOVED going to the grocery store. I even had names for the different types of shopping--and I'm not even kidding.

There was regular shopping, and there was.....POWER SHOPPING! Genius, No? Power Shopping is the kind where you have to lean over the side of the cart to see where you are going cuz you bought that much stuff.

Yes, I was an odd child. That shouldn't surprise you.

I also thought Kirk Cameron was a greek god (I AM A GOLDEN GOD!) among men. And that my brothers were the most awesomest guys EVAR IN THE WORLD, that my best friend Angel had the coolest cat around, named "Slammer" -- he was a persian with no tail. Wonder how he got his name. My favorite song was Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)" and I was deathly afraid of the Thriller video....

Oh look, I went all off topic again.

The bit about my brothers is still totally true though.

I really don't know why I care so much. All I know is.... my teeth grind unconsciously at the thought of having to go shopping for the week. Why can't the stuff just appear in my pantry. Is that an unreasonable request? I don't think so.

So it appears that I suck at this whole blogging thing...

2007-10-10T22:47:00.000-04:00

I'm all "I shall start running! "

"BELEE IT!"

and then I get the evil cold of Satan and am sick for two weeks.

But hey, I'm better now, thanks for asking.

Still have not gone to the gym yet. What can I say, I am all about the follow through these days.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

House is still............gorgeous and not umm....unpacked.

But hey! We have new furnitures! So theres that!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm like uh addicted to playing xbox, though I only play puzzle arcade games...

but hey! I did play halo 3 once or twice! That vindicates me! Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you can see, I really have nothing to talk about. I think possibly my brain came out through my nostrils at one point.

No, I'm pretty sure of it. Cuz I stare into space with my mouth hanging open lots more than i used to.

Promise Ill have something next time.

No really.

Hypocrite.

2007-09-21T07:41:00.001-04:00

curious smoke stack
Originally uploaded by Grfxgrl

It's funny how quickly your perspectives change. Like when I first moved to Charlotte, people would talk about "traffic" and I would give them a knowing eye-roll and say "Yeah, you don't know what traffic is you! you! unbelievable traffic not knower!"

Because I enjoy being rude and obnoxious, apparently. Also, very quick on my feet with the name calling.

A month and a half has now passed and I have found myself umm "chilling out," as they say, when it comes to aggression and anger while driving. This became apparent earlier this week, Sunday, when I was driving up here for work. Traffic wasn't bad, people were following the rules of the road, and it was a gorgeous day. Then I passed King's Dominion and people got all STUPID for no apparent reason.

People started breaking hard for no reason--or ok MAYBE there was a cop on the side of the road tagging someone for speeding, but why do we all have to stop and look? Never seen somebody get a ticket? Here's what you do. Get on 95 and go like 120 MPH. I'll bet you will see someone get a ticket then.

and the weaving. Really? Don't you get tired of jockeying for position only to be foiled by somebody driving slow, or as the old folks call it--THE SPEED LIMIT.

Anyway, so it was weird to me to see people change how they drove once we got into this area.

The picture here was taken on my way to work... Traffic... at 0615. (It's Traffic with a capitol "T" because it's ridiculous and therefore requires it.)

That's 6:15 in the A-M. Now, previously, this would have been a normal thing. But I found myself responding to a comment a friend left on this photo and I actually typed "God. I hate this place."

A year ago, I was all "wheeeeeeeeeeee! I love this area!" and "Traffic?! psssssssssssh. dont be a wussy. Leave earlier. It's just how it is. Buck up soldier!"

When I took this picture, I had just said to myself "ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?!?!"

"Friggin." Cuz I am trying not to cuss so much. I'm told that Lady's don't cuss. I'd like to know when this shit happen cuz all the fucking lady's I know cuss god damnit.

oops.

Anyway, so now, I am not only a lazy person with unusually small feet and lack of any kind of willpower or sense of direction who cusses like a sailor, I am also a hypocrite. *bow*

It's good to be self-aware in this day and age, no?

Also. No idea what that smoke stack is about. Wonder what was on fire in the hood?

Because I'm amused easily

2007-09-19T11:23:00.001-04:00

Because I'm amused easily
Originally uploaded by Grfxgrl Arr!

Avast Ye Mateys!!!!

Hey, let' have another blog post today about Talk Like A Pirate Day! Ok? OK!

and speaking of which, Merry Talk Like A Pirate Day, Survy Dog!

or... something.

Flickr has "Arrrr!" as a language setting, and it's entertainment for days, people. DAYS I tells ya. Or you know... for me anyway.

Exhibit A: Yeah I dunno if this is gonna put the photo above or below or uhh what. Flickr Blogging is hard :(

[Edited to Add: Oh fancy, its to the side all floating. Flickr is all kinds of cool.]

So yeah, anyway. Beware the sea's scourge, ya'll.

where she makes ANOTHER friggin declaration...

2007-09-13T22:14:00.000-04:00

Monday, after work, BF and I went over to the local YMCA and signed our unhealthy butts up for some gooey gym goodness.

It's now thursday, and neither of us have gone yet, cuz that is how we roll.

We rule like that.

Ever since I can remember, running has been a negative in my life. Athletics in general, but running specifically. I never was very good at it. Always the last one in on mile running day AFTER the fat kid. Then I was the fat kid and then... oh nevermind. you get it.

I joined band in middle school to get out of gym so I wouldnt have to run. But, turns out. We still had gym... with our band mates!

SUPER!

THEN I joined pep squad in high school to get out of gym but those bitches made us run too. And then it turned out that you only get a half credit for pep squad a year and they require 1.5 credits of gym for graduation. So my ass was in gym. AFTER ALL THAT. I STILL. ENDED UP IN GYM.

ahem.

Anyway, sometime in college I started having this dream. Where I was running around a track and in the middle of the track was like a park where all the people that I've known in my lifetime were there waving to me, cheering me on (either that or laughing, who the hell knows for sure). After having this dream for two months straight, I thought "HEY! MAYBE I SHOULD RUN OR SOMETHING!"

CUZ. AM BRILLIANT GENIUS.

so I got a treadmill for christmas. and ran/walked for 2 weeks and then stopped.

and that was that.

cuz, you know, im all about sticking to something. *cough*

ANYWAY. So a friend of mine is starting up this running thing and now im all gun-ho about it. Because I am apparently easily motivated by others actions...this is not a bad thing. SO GUESS WHO IS GONNA START RUNNING!!!!

Don't think I can't hear you laughing!!!

So like tomorrow morning, if BF doesnt turn off the alarm. My ass will be in the gym DYING on a treadmill. And I will do so for many days to come.

I so decree.

(CAN STILL HEAR YOU SNICKERING YOU POOPS!)

On gettin' hitched...

2007-09-11T21:36:00.000-04:00

K... how many people went "omg! nfw! wtf!"

cuz omg,wtf nfw. Pigs aren't flying yet.

nonono K & J! They is married!

Congratulations you guys :) It was all so beautiful. Hope you are enjoying your honeymoon. Call me when you get back and tell me all about it pls/thx.

Love you guys :P

Da Plane Boss! Da Plane!

2007-08-29T22:24:00.000-04:00

Ever since I was ... I dunno... 15, I have wanted a tattoo.

I almost got one when I was 18. I was a freshman in college. My best friend at the time, and roommate finally grew a pair and decided she wanted to be original! and get a tattoo!

Of a Rose!

On her ankle!

GENIUS!

I was totally gonna get one too, in the exact same place (omg! twinkies!) but I apparently had not grown a pair just yet and accidentally on purpose left my ID back in our room.

oopsy.

So like, I dunno, 2 years later I was at Virginia tech and I decided I wanted an earring in my cartilage at the top of my ear. So I could be different, JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. and I went back and forth with it. never really having the courage to go and partly cuz i had no friggin clue WHERE to go to get such a thing done. I had heard that the gun hurt far worse so like Claire's Boutique was totally out.

Bummer.

So, a friend of mine, heard about this and draaaaaaaagged me to some tattoo place in downtown blacksburg. I was so nervous about the whole earring thing that I didn't even notice it was a tattoo place. The dude that pieced my ear had everything you could possibly imagine pierced, arms covered in tattoos, etc. He was way hardcore, and made me feel very intimidated.

Anyway, so after the worst noise I have ever heard in my entire life happened. I had a brand new earring in my ear.

Pop! Ew! Voila!

I was told that I wouldn't be able to sleep on that side of my head for quite some time, but I apparently heal quickly or some crap because I never had any issue. I've heard since that some people STILL cant sleep on whatever side they have that earring on, but not me. Cuz I rule and stuff. *prance*

I had a point.... what was it....

Oh! so! I have decided that I want to get a tattoo to commemorate the aging of my body. I mentioned it to my parents when I was staying with them after the moves. My dad scrunched up his nose disapprovingly. My mother said "oh a small one? on your foot? that wouldn't be so bad"

...

I stood there with my jaw on the floor for 2038420382340 minutes because hello. who are you and what have you done with my ridiculously traditional catholic mother.

Part of the reason I never got a tattoo is because I knew I would upset my parents. And yes. Im still 10. shutup.

But! now! Momma said it was ok!

wheeee!

Oh shit. now I have to go through with this noise. eeps.

So uhh, anyone know of a good tattoo artist in Charlotte?

P.S. Get It? Da Plane Boss! Da Plane! Tattoo! Get It?!!? Bah. You people suck.

P.P.S. That top you are wearing looks spectacular on you btw

hello 30. how are you?!

2007-08-27T20:14:00.000-04:00

Jesus Christ dude.

I'm 30.

No seriously, like yesterday. I turned 30.

I gotta say though. it was a total non-event. And I dont mean that because people didnt do anything for it, because they did. I just mean it was like... I dunno... any other birthday?

I don't even think I am upset about the fact that some things are not how I envisioned them in my 10 year old mind TWO DECADES AGO.

JFC.....IM 30.

ayeyayayeayeayeaaye.

so anyway, non-event.

seriously im cool. Im not all "IM 3 DECADES OLD NOW HOLY SHIT"

IM 3 DECADES OLD NOW HOLY SHIT!

When can you join AARP?! Is it time yet?

on Parents...

2007-08-21T20:23:00.000-04:00

I love my mom and dad with my whole heart, but let me tell you if they hadn't left when they did, I mighta lost my mind. Like for real.

They wanted to come see the house like immediately. Which is cool, cuz I wanted them to see the house... just maybe no immediately as this past weekend.

I lie. I really wanted them to come immediately. I am too psyched about this house man.

*hugs the house*

oh ahem. anyway.

So our weekend was good. They showed up late thursday night--apparently, my Dad can turn a simple 6 hour drive into 12, but whatever. This is why I don't do road trips with them anymore.

We went to an Alison Kraus concert on Friday night, we had Suite seats--which were totally sweet. *snicker*

No seriously, thems were good seats. Couldnt see jack, they looked like little people ants on stage. But they really just stood there and sang and played so it wasn't like we were missing much.

AND THEN we went all around town on Saturday for no real reason. BF drove of course, cuz I still have no idea where anything is... no shock there.

Sunday, we hung out at the house. My mother helped me to finish unpacking the kitchen at her insistence. God bless her though, cuz that would've taken me 15 years to do.

I'm not, how would you say, all that interested in unpacking. I hate unpacking.

This is about the time I felt myself get snippy, and I started to wish Monday morning would hurry the hell up and get here. and I have to tell you, I've never wished for that in my life. Not ever. Seriously... ever.

So Monday morning gets here, and off they go on their 1029384021984 hour trip home. I get a call that we were waiting on, so I call them to let them know. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey Mom, the blinds guy called, he's go...

Mom: Hey Trishy! Where are you physically?

Me: ... uhh at home. Where are you?

Mom: [Talking to Dad: Where are we?] We're in laksjdflksajflsk (I don't remember what she said)

Me: Oh, okay. Anyway, the blinds guy calle...

Mom: [Apparently passing a road sign] laksjdflksajflsk! 5 miles!

Me: K. so. uhm. The blinds guy called

Mom: Who?

Me: The blinds guy?

Mom: Oh for the blinds?

Me: .... yes.

Mom: Ok. What did he say?

Me: He said he'd come by on Wednesday between 10 and 11 am.

Mom: Wednesday? Not Thursday?

Me Inside: WHEN DID I SAY THURSDAY WOMAN. WHEN.

Me Outside: No Wednesday.

Mom: You sure? I coulda sworn I heard you say...

Me: It's Wednesday. I have it written down. So Wednes...

Mom: This week or next week.

Me inside: #)(@*$)(@#*!)(*$!)(@*$@!)($*!

Me Outside: um, this week. So This Week. On WEDNESDAY between 10 and 11am.

Mom: AM or PM

Me Inside: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Me Outside: uh AM, between 10 and 11 AYE EMM.

Mom: 10 or 11, which is it.

Me: No BETWEEN 10 and 11.

Mom: k. He call you, you call him?

Me: I SAID HE JUST CALLED.

Mom: Well you dont have to get snippy about it.

Me Inside: (*U#@)(*)@!(*)(#URI)(#@$R)@(#UR)OUR#)O(#$UT)@(#UT)@(#UT mother of all thats holy for the love of )(*#)%(@*#%)(*%)%*.

Me Outside: ...

and guess what!

THATS FRIGGIN ME IN 40 YEARS.

shoot me now. just shoot me now.

oh hi!

2007-08-07T20:01:00.000-04:00

How's everyone doing? Good, good.

oh me? I'm ok. North Carolina rules! I mean aside from the fact that I have no idea where anything is really. These are the things I know how to get to all on my own:

Harris Teeter--I went today after work and spent $80. Don't ask me what I bought though, cuz I havent a clue. I should maybe make a list next time...
Gas Station
Chili's
Five Guys
I think I know how to get the mall--but the mall is evil, so that doesn't count really.
*blink*

I know, impressive isn't it? It really is saying a lot that I know that, if you know me, cuz i think I just figured out how to get to Home Depot in the hood before I left.

I have zero sense of direction, lucky for me the car has a navigation system, but our house number is invalid. And if you pull up the map, theres no streets where we are. So I'm SOL. s'cool though cuz, well... I dunno why.

Oh the house? The house is GORGEOUS. Gorgeous and empty. We echo when we talk, which is pretty neat. Having a garage is pretty spiffy too. BF had that epoxy stuff laid so it's all shiny and neato. I will take pics at some point. Whenever I find the damn camera...

Ah yes, unpacking? Yeah, not so much. Almost every box is open though, so I guess thats a good start. *cough*

Working from home is interesting. I just finished my third day of it and it's pretty lonely actually. I feel very separated from everyone and the feeling that I have to work twice as hard in the 8 hours is strong with me. I feel like I can't screw around at all. Like if I miss a instant message from someone at work, ima get fired. So no peeing while on the clock! Paranoia is sweet.

and BF? OUT.OF.TOWN.

*sigh*

even still man, North Carolina fully rules man. Seriously. Love it! I have a couple of stories, but I can't uhh remember them right now. Check back, I will remember eventually ;)

I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

2007-07-11T08:35:00.000-04:00

So the other day, I was on the phone with kegOfSunshine and had to stop to get gas because i had 1/4 of a 1/4 of a tank and I was beyond twitchy about it. So I'm on the phone, take out my checkcard, select my gas grade and I stick the thingy in the thingy and flip the thingy that makes it go all by itself while I stand around staring blankly with my mouth hanging open til it clicks. Because clearly, I am too busy to hold it myself.

And then I put my checkcard on top of the car because I didnt have pockets in the dress pants I was wearing, and the holding of the cell phone was obviously the maximum capacity for my hands.

Yes.

So I'm talkin talkin talkin while these mexican fellers on the other side of the thingy stare at me, all "why this chick hab her mout open like dat esse?" and the thingy clicks. I close my mouth and put the thingy back on the ......... stand thingy and I get in my car.

I get off the phone with kegOfSunshine and I am driving down the road, ecstatic about the lack of traffic for a Monday. And then the hamsters wake up and I go

"UH! I DIDN'T PICK UP MY CARD FROM ON TOP OF THE CAR! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!"

So I turn around and go back because surely the card would have flown off the car when I first started to drive off.

*blink* what?

At this point all i can think about is the mexican fellers and how those shits stole my credit card! YES! CUZ AM RETARDED! ALSO! Racist against my own half race apparently!

So I get back to the pump I was at, get out of the car and I walk around and look for my card.

Nothin.

So I go over to where I drove out of the gas station. Nothin there.

Then Im like, "well fuck." and get back in my car and drive off. Then I get to the intersection that I recall flying out into to make the light. So I stop, no one is behind me and I take a look around.

AND I FIND A CREDIT CARD! YAY!

but oops not mine :(

Seems I'm not the only moron in the hood ;)

So I get back in the car and proceed to work. I get on my cell phone and call my bank to cancel the card so that ~~those mexican fellers~~ no one can pay for shit with my card. MUH MONEY BITCHES.

So I'm on hold listening to the calming music, and I finally get someone.

"Hi, I just lost my checkcard. I put it on top of my car when I was pumping gas and I drove off without getting it. I just went back and checked and I couldnt find it. So I need to cancel this..."

and my cell phone dies.

ha. ha. HA.

So I get to work, all frazzled because OMG THEY ARE GONNA SPEND ALL MY MONEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. and I cancel my card. Will be getting new one in 5 to 7 Business Days. yay!

The next day when carpool was getting out of my car, one of the guys goes "hey, is this yours?!"

AND HANDS ME MY CHECKCARD.

it was stuck between the rear window and the top of the trunk.

jesus.

By now its too late to cancel the cancellation, so not only am I having to deal with all the moving crap, but now I gotta make sure that all my auto pay stuff has gotten changed over, lest I get like LATE FEES or somethin.

All because I didn't have any damn pockets in my dress pants that day.

WTF WITH NO POCKETS IN WOMENS DRESS PANTS PEOPLE.

*wimper*

Tick. Tock.

2007-07-06T08:33:00.000-04:00

Hey guess what I just realized? ... like 5 minutes ago.

First... HOLY SHIT ITS FRIGGIN JULY ALREADY.

and second... in exactly 16 days, counting today, our sorry little procrastinating asses will be on the road, with our cats knocked out and all our belongings on a truck headed towards North Carolina.

*lip quiver*

So I should like...do some stuff this weekend methinks. Whoever hid June from me--you are officially on my list.

Say, I could really use that blinking trick I dream of Jeanie had right about now. If any of you know how I might get my hands on something like that, please be a doll and let me know.

shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

Make a New Plan Stan

2007-07-04T09:25:00.000-04:00

(hop on the bus gus)

Feast your eyes on this bad boy that I like to call "MOVE-A-PALOOZA." Catchy, no?

MOVE-A-PALOOZA '07
19th - Leave 2 hours early from work to do whatever is left before packers show up tomorrow morning
20th - Get packed up
21st - Load up truck and travel to NC
22nd- Unload/Begin unpack
23rd- Unpack
24th- Fly up early AM to be in da hood in time for carpet cleaning that is scheduled for early afternoon
25th - Handyman at house to fix a varied list of things
26th- Clean house / Parents get packed up
27th - Parents move in
28th/29th - Stay in VA... no point in traveling 6 hours one-way only to have to return to be at work here for a mandatory something or other.
30th-31st Work in VA; Drive to NC after whateverTheHellMandatory @ work. Probably get to NC around midnight(ish). sweet. Did I mention MANDATORY!?! Yes? Ok. nm then.
1st - Unpack
2nd- Unpack
3rd- back to work.. at home. I know. Only so much sympathy can be surmised from that.

But COME ON. Overall. Thats a busy time dude. Also when I am back up in VA for final stuff on VA house, I'm going to try and do some work. Yes. Cuz I thrive on stress. Also, am an i.d.i.o.t. But that's been established.

Meanwhile BF is gonna be "unpacking" in NC.

uh huh.

Excuse me while I go sob quietly in the corner.

The Closing

2007-07-03T08:26:00.000-04:00

It is official man. We have a house in Charlotte. With an address and a trash can and everything!

Aside from the BULLSHIT that happened the day of the closing, of which we wont speak of lest I spit venom once again. (And really. I just got that shit under control.)

I'm just being dramatic really. It wasn't that bad. Could've been worse. Like a nuclear bomb coulda dropped or something. *blink*

ANYWAY. so Friday, when the dust settled and i packed the drama queen up in my backpack, we returned to the house. OUR house. and holy moses dude, I am soooooooo excited. The house is GORGEOUS and the neighborhood is like neighborly (I got waved at people! MULTIPLE TIMES! I! KNOW!) and the city is beautiful! and and and and! YAY TO MOVING!

also. it doesnt friggin snow much in Charlotte--so I am told! and God bless America for that cuz, hoooo boy I hate snow.

We still have far to go in ~~our~~ my little "Operation Clean Sweep" mission, but believe you me it will happen. oh yes. Even if I have to throw out all his crap he hasn't needed in the 3 years we have been in the townhouse while he is on travel next week.

I MEAN IT MISTER! Don't test me!

Also, yes. That's right. ON TRAVEL. A WEEK BEFORE WE MOVE. YES. jesus.

Ashamed of My Gender

2007-06-25T20:00:00.000-04:00

I started watching that show on Lifetime, "Army Wives". It is a good show but it's making me realize what bitches we are. I mean, obviously, I knew this before but I think in this show it just pisses me off and now I feel the need to like. ~~Fill a post with nonsense~~Talk about it.

I dunno why this show in particular, and why not Desperate Housewives or like REAL LIFE or something. Who knows what my brain is doing.

ANYWAY.

Seriously. Ladies. What the fuck? Why do we do it? Why do we have to be so goddamn awful to each other and judge and whisper and JUDGE. How did we learn to be so nasty? WHO THE HELL TAUGHT US THAT AWFUL UP DOWN "you are so worthless" look that we do. Who?

Hey. I'm no saint. I do it too. And I wanna stop. RIGHT NOW PLZ.

I mean, we have to deal with the same bullshit. Men. Work. ... MEN. Why add to it with our own BS? Meanwhile dudes have a united front with their "bros b4 hoes" or whatever the hell.

Seriously, you ever hear a dude talking about another dude the way we do about each other? Unless he is gay, the answer is no.

Let's do this. Next time you find yourself thinking evil thoughts of another female, STOP and SMILE. Instead of thinking negative things about that person, find something positive about her instead. Be nice for once. Deal? Deal.

Fucking Bitches.

oops.. I mean.. I LOVE your shoes! Where did you get them!

God knows why I do it...

2007-06-21T09:16:00.001-04:00

I mean she/he should right? SOMEBODY should know! For the love of .... god? *blink*

I stayed up late-ish for the third day in a row, and I have no sufficient justification for it.

"Late" for this old bag is 11 because my alarm goes off at 0545 (and call me [whatever would make sense right there], but that's goddamn early), and lately we have been dragging our sorry behinds up the stairs very near this witching hour. Last night I noticed that it gets just a bit later with each passing day of the week. Then we sleep in on Saturday, up late Saturday night, sleep in Sunday, up late Sunday (due to sleeping in. like idiots). Up ass early Monday, bed relatively on time Monday night, ass early tuesday, bit laterish tuesday night--You get the idea. Vicious cycle and stuff. OK well just me on the ass early bit. Unless he has meetings or something, that fool isn't getting up until he is good and ready.

This fact makes my teeth itch with jealousy.

A conversation we repeat often:

Him: "wahhhhhhhh I have to get up early tomorrow! wahhhhh"

Me: "and what time is that?"

Him: "like 8 *pout*"

Me: "you realize I will have already been at work for a half hour by that time."

Him: "yes *pout* still. its earllllllllllyyyyy"

Me: "welcome to my world, jackass."

Now, I realize that me comparing my schedule to his is unfair and who gives a shit when I get up and when I am at work. I do it everyday. GET OVER YOURSELF PRINCESS. And I know that when he has to get up at 8? That's akin to say, me having to get up at like. I dunno. 2am? What just irritates the shit out of me is that we go to bed at the same time, every night. I get up to go to work, on average, 3-4 hours before he does. Alright, maybe it's closer to 2-3. Whatever.

So, when I complain about being tired and I see him rolling his eyes, or not quite having the exact level of sympathy for the princess that she requires at that exact moment. ~~She~~ I (wait, which pronoun am I in again?) get pissed! and point out how he gets more sleep than I and how come I'm not allowed to be tired!

He never said that, you understand, but I can twist and contort anything to make it sound in my favor. Also, he never actually rolls his eyes. I perceive him to be doing so, like you know, on the inside.

I realize I am a bitch. It's best if you just accept it too.

the non-smoking life... day 11

2007-06-15T08:40:00.000-04:00

"WAIT. DAY 11 ONLY!!?!?!" you say?

Well see it's like this, 5 June was the last day I had a cigarette anywhere near my lips and even though it was surprisingly awful and gave it back after three drags, it counts according to BF. I'd rather be counting from the last day I had an entire cigarette and made the conscious decision to throw away the pack. But, whatever. Semantics. And since quitting smoking is apparently a hobby of mine for ~~5 years?~~ quite some time now, I suppose it is more correct this way anyway. *cough*

Chantix is an interesting drug I must say. While effective, you really have to like follow their dosing rules *blink*. When I got my prescription from CVS and brought it home, I was very excited to get this mother started! again! for the 293801294801948084108th time! So, I tore into the bag, tossing the rules and regulations of the drug and plowed into the box, opening the first pack and popping my first pill. I did remember something about having to eat before taking it and how a major side-effect is nausea (on every single page of the brochure, nausea is mentioned, so they must be serious) so I made sure I ate something first.

I dunno like... 15-20 minutes later, I felt totally drugged. Like the room was spinning a little, my mouth was dry, I felt my food in my esophagus and the vague sense that I was about to pass out loomed. I chugged water and pee'd a lot that day. I had to cancel going to see Godsmack in concert that night because, call me crazy, but I was thinking maybe passing out at a concert was a bad idea. I could get trampled! I felt so bad for canceling and I'm still totally bummed I missed the concert. Sorry K & J :(

Stupid Chantix.

I really need to come up with some nicknames for you two....hmmm....

Oh hi! Sorry! Anyway, so days passed and my dealings with Chantix improved, sorta. The waves of nausea, passing out feeling, room spinning came and went and by the time I got back from vacation, I thought I had overcome the "getting used to the drug" part.

Not so much. And I've figured out why! Sorta!

Like I said, I never really read the rules and regulations and just basically went off what was printed on the box ("Take After Eating! Drink Water!"), and also the stuff that kegOfSunshine told me. She told me that if I miss a dose, just take it when you remember.

So I thought, "cool, just like birth control pills! This is easy!" I figured if I missed a dose, i'd take it when I remembered and then take my next scheduled dose... like catching up.

I've missed several doses because I am an idiot and can't remember jack. And so I've played my little catch up game, and took 3 doses in one day, after the second dose I always felt like shit for the rest of the day and the 3rd made it worse. So I asked kegOfSunshine if she felt the same things, and like wtf! this drug sucks! And explained to her what I was doing.

she said "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! too close! too close!"

and I was all "huh!?"

so I looked it up, and by George, she was right! I bet she read the rules and regulations. Maybe I should try that next time...

"If you miss a dose, use the medication as soon as you remember. If it is almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and wait until your next regularly scheduled dose. Do not use extra medicine to make up the missed dose."

ohhhhhhhhh. well no friggin wonder! Also, I read some shit about like how you shouldn't take this if you have kidney issues. So now, when I get all dry of the mouth and nauseous I think "OH CRAP MY KIDNEY'S ARE FAILING!!!"

hah. such a retard.

a non-smoking retard *curtsey* ;)

If only every single day could start out like this...

2007-06-12T08:14:00.001-04:00

So I woke up this morning at 0645. Now mind you, 0645 is when I am supposed to be leaving the house. I look at the clock and yawn and stretch, about this time the ~~hamsters awake~~ my brain clicks on ...

"OH SHIT!!!!!"

and I leap out of bed. You'd think as a frequent run-later (whatever, you know what I mean), I would be used to this sort of thing. Not so much. Running around rushing after I just opened my eyes seconds ago is not my ideal way of rising in the morning.

hello, princess.

Anyway, so I somehow sprint out of the house at 0654, and don't even ask me how--I showered, I swear! And off to kegOfSunshine's to commence the carpool.

Now normally, this whole waking up late bs would ruin my entire day. But this is a kegOfSunshine day, and she can make your worst day seem like your best.

I pull up to her house, and she bounces out of the house with her trademark beam of sunshine smile. Which makes me smile. It's entirely impossible not to smile when you see her smile. She gets in the car and off we go. She immediately starts filling me on whatever has gone down since I dropped her off after work the day before--which is always so much! How does that woman fit all this shit into one day? It makes me tired just thinking about it.

A car ride with her contains no less than 22 billion bouts of laughter. Laughter. at 0700 in the morning. who knew?

Anyway, so we get to work and this whole time she has been stressing a little over what she was wearing, and she said in the elevator as I was getting out "Hey! How about you wear my top and I will wear yours!" and I turn around and take a look at what she is wearing and look down at my pants.

We then simultaneously lift our knee to get our pants closer to each others top to assess the matching possibilities... and die laughing.

What? It was funny!

Shit. That was way funnier when it happened. Must be one of those "had to be there" things.

Anyway, love you kegOfSunshine ;)

Don'tchew forgetaboutme

2007-06-08T08:04:00.000-04:00

You know that scene in The Breakfast Club where Ally Sheedy draws a picture in black marker on the table and then shakes her hair to get the dandruff out, thus providing "snow" for the drawn scene? Yes you do! Fast forward to like 0:46, you'll see her shaking her head.

Well guess what! I can do that too! Except its from my forehead. No really! I can bow my head slightly and rub my forehead and VOILA! ~~Dead Skin!~~ Snow!

Peeling is cute.

I just thought you should know.

Say, wasn't the lead singer of Simple Minds a red head? Or am i just...OH NO WAIT! that was Simply Red. Nevermind, carry on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a completely different topic, got this link from All & Sundry, and I swear it gets funnier the more times you watch it.

Jekyll rears her bitchy head

2007-06-07T09:51:00.001-04:00

or was it Hyde? Which one was the monster? I forget.

ANYWAY. so yeah. the angry smoke-free driver is back *curtsey* I know! I missed you too!

I realized she/he/it/me/whatever was back this morning. On my way to work. TWO FRIGGIN HOURS LATER THAN I ORIGINALLY PLANNED. But! It's not my fault! We were watching House on the DVR and I was so immersed in the whole Will House ask Foreman to stay?! OMG WILL HE!?! Inquiring minds wanna know! I wanna know! That we watched not one, not two but THREE episodes. The second one ended and i gasped and said "is there another!?!" in this sorta high-pitched whispery weird nerdball voice. And praise be the tv gods, there was. So we watched it! Like Dummy's!

Towards the end of the last show, BF said "this show isn't ending is it? Like canceled?!" and I found my toes tingling and my chest grew tight at the thought because SURELY THEY WONT CANCEL THIS ONE TOO. Goddammit. STOP. CANCELING. MY. FAVORITE. SHOWS. Gilmore Girls, I miss you already *sniff*

But they keep stupid shows like "So you think you can dance?" "So you think you can ice skate" "So you think you can be a rockstar?" "So you think you can put your leg behind your head?" or whatever the hell. The cool thing is that they keep coming up with new ones! What's this bullshit about the inventions? Who the hell cares! GIMME GILMORE GIRLS BACK OR THE O.C. EVEN you wretched heathens.

I feel like I've gone off track here...

ah yes, so driving this morning! All irritated at myself that I'm late only not really--just a half hour late for my regular time but I decided that since there was no carpool I was gonna go in at 0600! Why! I DUNNO!

Anyway so I'm on the parkway, trying not to watch the clock that seems to be on friggin fast forward. And I change lanes. The dude in front of me apparently thought of the same thing a half second after I, and I see his signal on, he is in the intersection starting to head over to my new lane. and I think: "This dude is gonna cut me off!"

So I get all prepared to be angry about it. But he sees that I'm in the lane and that continuing to move over would cut me off, so he goes back in the left lane. Which, in all honesty, was the nicest thing another driver can do, NOT cut you off.

So what do i do?

I get pissed off anyway!

Yes!

I said "go. go! GOOOOOOOOO! FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MF'errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" and I'm waving him over and being a general moron.

He gets over, and waves a thank you in the rear view mirror-- yes the five-fingered kind. not the one fingered kind.

Upon seeing him STILL BEING NICE EVENTHOUGH I WAS JUST A COMPLETE RETARD, the events start to replay in my head and I flash to that time I was taking KegOfSunshine home and had the exact same reaction.

I smiled. cuz it's still funny. in that "dear god was that really me?" kind of way.

Then went: "oh shit. she's back."

So don't piss me off bitches. I'll cut you.

Or you know, call you names behind the safety of my car windows.

P.S. ooooOOOOooooOOOO Intrigue!
But uhh.. keep your speakers off cuz while the opening riff to Bulls on Parade makes me very very happy... not so much on a continuous loop. It's actually straight up annoying (shh! who said that?)

I'm still alive!

2007-06-06T08:39:00.000-04:00

So hey! How ya been!? Have you lost weight? You look *fab*

I just said fab. heh.

An update, for those that care (just pretend you do, it hurts less kthx):

I haven't touched guitar hero (or GH2 if you're nasty--and a big fat nerd *bow*) in over 2 weeks. Medium difficulty pisses me off and I am apparently a big baby on top of being a big fat nerd and will throw a ~~little~~ large tantrum and refuse to touch the game again until it cooperates (read: let's me friggin pass a friggin song). 4 Keys is hard :(

I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago and got a prescription for Chantix. It's a smoking cessation drug--the only one that has no nicotine in it. Aside from the waves of nausea and the sensation that I could possibly pass out, it's going quite well. I bummed a cigarette from KegOfSunshine this morning--not cuz I really wanted one but cuz I knew she had some (it doesn't make sense, I am well aware of that). I smoked like a 1/3 of it and gave it back to her. It was grody. That's some kind of progress if you ask me man. Also, let's not split hairs about when I may or may have not said I was going to quit "For Real! No Really!" Don't dwell on the past. God.

I'm relocating to Charlotte, NC in like uhhh... just over a month, and let me tell you, there's nothing fun or funny about moving. Unless you find dropping a ton of money on crap and going through your stuff that you should have gotten rid of the last time you moved--I'm talking to you, BF--fun, then yes. It's a total blast! And ho ho! So very very funny. Though, it gives me a reason to make many lists and spreadsheets and that makes my inner nerd grin from ear to ear.

I just came back from vacation. BF and I spent a week in Destin, FL. You guys heard of this place? It's in the panhandle of FL, east of Pensacola (listen to me acting like I know where stuff is). ANYWAY. It's apparently the #1 beach in the U.S. So #1 beach in the US. Yet, I've never heard of it. Why am I always the last to know these things. hmph. Where was I.. oh! So yes! It is indeed beautiful! White Sands, clear(ish) water. And I took my camera! Plugged it in on sunday when we got in to charge up.... and then left it there plugged in. all week. What can I say, I'm *that* good. Don't be jealous.

I have apparently shed my tough Texas skin for good, and am suddenly reminded of how much sunburns suck. The day we went to the beautiful beach, I didn't put anything on before we left. Because ... well I have no idea. I do remember thinking "pffft. I don't really need sunscreen! I don't burn remember! I'll put it on later!" And we went into the water first thing, then came out. It was then time for the application of sunscreen. So I started applying to my arms and noticed that sand was like mixing with it and while I do love a good facial scrub every now and again, it didn't feel nice. So I said screw it, "I won't burn anyway", and just laid out in the sun all exposed and vulnerable. As we were walking back to the hotel, BF said "ohhhhh you are gonna be hurtingggggggg! Look how red you are!" To which I looked down at my skin, and said "pffffft. im not burned it'll be fine." We walked into the hotel room, and I marched right over to the mirror and said "Holy Freckles Batman!" (yes, I really said that.) because I suddenly looked like Pippy Longstocking (or you know, some other character with lots of freckles... work with me here). I jumped in the shower, and this is about the time I realized I was indeed burned. Because I basically took a cold shower and it felt glorious. Normally, I take steaming hot showers and continue to make the water hotter the longer I am in, so this was outside of the norm-- and very much a RED HOT DONTYOUFRICKINTOUCHME Signal. *ahem*

Ouch! Don't touch me! I didn't touch you! That hurt! I put my hand over your skin, no contact was made! That's close enough to touching me! Don't touch me! I'm burned! Hello! It Hurts! Geez.

Yes. I am a baby. So what.

Yay lists!

P.S. I am going to make a concerted effort to NOT disappear for large amounts of time anymore. No, really.

Rockstar

2007-05-08T08:20:00.000-04:00

oh hi! how ya been! Long time no see! How's it going? What's shakin'?

nothin?

yeah me too.

*sigh*

OH BUT!

So BF was out of town all of last week, as usual. Oh! AND will be out of town all of next week and the following week and probably the week after that--have I mentioned how much I absolutely adore his job? No? hmm. wonder why...

ANYWAY.

So he came home like at 10:30 p.m. from the airport. I am sitting in the living room, tv on, laptop on lap burning the hell out of my leg, because the idea of a "notebook" and not a "lap"top is too hard for me to understand. The front door is a half flight down from the living room. He opens the door and says hello. I say "hi" and stay parked in my seat (i'm so loving, no?).

He says "Hey I've got a present for you!"

Me Inside: Oh shit. what celebratory holiday/special day did I forget this time.
Me Outside: *perk* Present! What is it!

Him: "C'mere and see"

Me: K!
[throws ~~laptop~~ notebook on the couch and runs over]

I get to the stairs and look down to where he is standing. and i gasp! and smile uncontrollably and my eyes get all big! and I grab the box..

Me: REALLY!!?!?!?!

[It's a guitar hero box. yes. i'm this much of a dork]

Me: But! Don't we need an xbox for this!

[He points down to the "computer" he got shipped from his "company"]

[sneaky bastard]

and then this is where i hop around and clap like a little girl

Me: "Let's hook it up!"

Him: "We got anything to eat?!"

Me Inside: W. T. F. no eating! who has time to eat! it's time for play! now! now! now!

Me Outside: [Goes over to fridge and looks around] hmm. pizza?!"

Him: K

so he eats, and as I wait impatiently for him to finish, I open the guitar hero box like it's christmas morning. Only, for whatever reason, I treat it like its a box made out of the thinnest glass and is ultra delicate (yeah, I dunno.) and I'm all reading every piece of paper that comes out of the box and I attach the strap to the guitar and put it on me and mess with the keys and wonder what stuff is, and then I go back to the book and figure it out. all the while with this HUGE stupid grin on my face.

Me: K. so... done yet!?

Him: [chewing] uh ... uh huh [more chewing].. sure.

So he hooks it up.

and then I play. and then he plays. and then he goes to bed.

I'm sorry but HOW can you go to bed at a time like this, i mean really!

I stay up til 0330 mastering Heart Shaped Box, to show my appreciation of said gift.

... and when I say master I mean I got to the end without getting boo'd off stage

babysteps *cough*

My band's name is "Flip Flop" cuz I'm so creative and couldn't think of a name to save my life and then I looked down at my foot which was adorned with a flip flop and well.

yeah.

cept it always says "Flip Flo" cuz I guess theres a max character limit but I don't remember any mention of that. Then again, it was 2 in the morning and I just wanted to hurry and play in "career mode".

Odd though, cuz I've always fancied myself a patient person.

So far, I've played every single night. I now have all 35 of my songs available to me, and I got to Killing in the Name last night. As you can imagine, I was very stoked about that. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it was gonna be. Then again, I am on EASY.

Also, my left hand is all "wtf are you doing woman!" and sore.

BUT IMMA PLAY TONIGHT ANYWAY!

I came *this* close to buying Dance Dance Revolution at Game Stop on Sunday. I currently have 3 or 4 on my "watch list" on E-bay.

hi. I'm a nerd. nice to meetcha ;)

That's some good drivin' right there

2007-04-11T17:44:00.000-04:00

As the sun rose yesterday, my tired ass was pulling out of my parking space and headed to KegOfSunshine's house to commence the carpooling goodness, as I do most days. I'm driving by my neighbors spots and notice that the old jallopy buick has a very big dent in the trunk. Like it hit something very round and sturdy. smack in the middle of the trunk area. and I went "ha. that sucks"

["Ha." not cuz im a heartless bitch (ah pipedown you) but because these people are honkers. Like 5am on a Saturday or 12am on a Wednesday, they pull up to their house and honk for whoever to come out! this instant! OR THEY WILL HONK AGAIN! Why can't these fools use their cell phone or like! I dunno! GET OUT OF THE CAR AND OPEN THEIR DOOR AND GO "HEY IM HERE LETS GO!" And it's never a single "beep" its more of a "beep. beepbeepbeepbeepBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEP! and they wait 2 seconds for whoever to leap out of the house and when they dont (two seconds later) it's "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEP BEEEP BEEP"

I often threaten to BF that I'm gonna go out there and unhook their horn--or you know, whatever it takes to disable that bitch.

Also stealers! See, it's like this: HOA decided that we needed actual trash receptacles to put our trash out in due to all the critters gettin' in to stuff. Which, duh. So one day, we each got a shiny new trash can delivered to our front porch. Well, except us, of course. So we called and they delivered another. A couple of days later our neighbor on the end caught us outside and said "Hey! I have your trashcan!" Apparently he pulled ours in to his backyard with his, to be nice. Very sweet no? So then we had two trash cans which was kinda cool but we really dont produce that much trash. Somehow it ended up that I put a birthday candle on one of the trash can lids and sorta left it there for several days in the hot sun. So it melted on to the top of the can. Last year, when we came back from OBX vacation. Said trashcan was gone off our deck. OFF OUR DECK. (We need a goddamn fence. with a lock!) We see this trashcan every Sunday sitting out in front of Honker's house (f'ing neighbors man.). Either they melted the same yellow stripey curvey candle in the same exact place I did. or they are stealers! I say Stealers!]

Man, I can get sidetracked easily. Sorry! Anyway!

So I'm driving down my little street after work the same day and I notice Mr. Honker/Stealer is outside wrestling with the trunk. and you know, I'm already sorta hating this dude. I mean god. stealing a trash can! The horror! But seriously, the honking!? that shit has to stop.

Holy crap I'm doing it again!

ANYWAY.

So I get out of my car and decide to walk over and talk to him and be like neighborly.

Me (Inside): "You stole my trashcan butthole."
Me (Outside): "Oh NO! What Happened!"

Then he mumbles something about his wife in broken english

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Mr. Honker/Stealer: "My wife. She trying to get out. and hit tree *points*"

Me (Inside): "What fucking tree dude"
Me (Outside): "Oh no! Is she ok?! Is everyone Ok?!"

and then I thought maybe this was Saturday when we got that twilight zone snowfall. (P.S. WTF was THAT shit. wasnt it like 70 degrees 3 days prior!?)

Mr. Honker/Stealer: "Yeah she fine. Yesterday, my Wife was trying to get out and she couldn't find brake and she hit tree *points*"

Me (Inside): "K maybe not the snow. and also WHAT FRIGGIN TREE DUDE!?!"
Me (Outside): "Oh no!"

Mr. Honker/Stealer: "I trying to get trunk open to get stuff out" he says while using a hammer and trying to rip the metal open"

Me (Inside): "Sha right dude!"
Me (Outside): [looks down at pile of tail light shards and pieces of metal on the ground] "oh hehe yeah. doesnt look like thats gonna happen."

Mr. Honker/Stealer: "I gonna have to rip off [mumble mumble]"

Me: *blink* "Well I am glad everyone is ok, lemme know if I can help"

Mr. Honker/Stealer: "OK Thank you!"

and I walk away.

Lemme break this down for you in photos (oh I uhh just took the photos and there is apparently a tree on the other side of the street...go figure. Also! I was able to find what tree he was talking about):

Tree, 3 feet IN from curb.

'Nother Tree. 4 feet in from curb BEHIND mailbox.

area behind our parking area (aka other side of street)

~~see any trees here?!~~ Alright, alright there's a tree there. My mistake.

Oh, this one? The same one from the first pic? Thats like 3 feet back from the curb? That's some skill right there. So. up AND over the curb? and 3 feet back? awesome. Also. notice in the first pic, its not even leaning at all. It's not that big of a tree either! Also, note the relationship between car and said tree (better seen in first pic). Where the heck was she parked? and how the hell? I don't get it.

HEEEEE. I took this while strolling back from "checking the mail." Plate blurred out to protect the ~~honker/stealers~~ innocent. (yeah. im not bitter.)

and this one taken on the way to "check the mail." I'm so sneaky.

Now tell me how fast you gotta be going to get that big of a dent from a tree?! That shit takes some skill man!

Problem Solved!

2007-04-04T17:23:00.000-04:00

Last night I picked up BF from the airport, we had a very late dinner and headed home. Shortly after our arrival, I marched directly upstairs to bed because it was all late (for me, anyway). I went up to bed by myself because well, I dont work 24/7, and didn't need to check my email or whatever the hell he was doing on his laptop (()*&#)($*)#@(*$#)@(*$#@) ahem.

Anyway, so he finally came up and I was about 1/4 of the way off to dreamy dreamland. And he starts talking to me as if I am fully awake, and I answer cuz, well, the dude is never here man. It's rare that I get to have conversations in bed with him right next to me.

The conversation drops off eventually...as it does when one participant can barely keep her eyelids open. And I guess he fell asleep quicker than I because the next thing I hear is a very loud and all too familiar

"HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHPFFFFFFT"

See the BF doesn't snore. oh no. what he does is like a spontaneous LOUD ASS moan type thing. Which is cool most of the time...when I am already asleep.... because I can sleep through just about anything. However, I was not asleep just yet and when in this particularly fragile state of half asleep half awake, it scares the ever-loving crap out of me.

Since my life is pure comedy, the sirens of ambulances! and firetrucks! and police cars! followed soon thereafter. I swear it was like 40jillion of those bastards. One right after another after another. With an occassional "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNHHHHHHHPFPFPFT" thrown in there with fine comedic timing.

I'm not even kidding.

So I'm laying there, trying very hard to fall asleep while at the same time waiting all apprehensively for the next "HUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNPFPFPTPFPTPFPT" to rip me back to consciousness.

These moan-type-things age me a year or two each time they occur. That shit catches you off guard man, and there is no pattern to it. There is no way to tell when the next one will scare the ever living bejesus out of me. It is very much like the story over at dooce.com that she just told about a visiting doggy that just barks spontaneously for no reason. eerily so.

So after like, I dunno, 30 minutes of this. I sit up and swing my feet to the floor and sigh because DAMNIT IM ANNOYED I WANNA SLEEP TOO WAHHHHHHHHH.

this wakes him up inexplicably...

... not the moaning. ... no, me ... SIGHING wakes him up. (wtf?)

"[semi-conscious] what's the matter? *yawn* am i making noise again?!"

"Yes. Yes you are. and I can't fall asleep *whine*"

"You want earplugs? I have some under the bed?"

"What!?!?" [Did he just say earplugs!?!]

"You want earplugs? I have some under the bed?"

[Yep. he sure did]

and eventhough " what the fu...." is flying through my head, I answer "Yes!" emphatically.

"OK, grab my little silver box from under the bed"

So I get on my knees to retrieve the box--all the while wondering to myself why the hell he has earplugs under the bed--and plop it on the bed. He wrestles around with the box and is all "I can't see where...they...are..."

Because I'm the Queen bitch, I sit there for a minute refusing to turn the light on because, in my head, this was a nice punishment for keeping the PRINCESS awake.

and then I give and turn on the light.

and I'm staring at a .....gun case (again...whaaaaa?) and he is fumbling around with the like thing that holds the ear plugs.

So then he shows me how they work. He closes the box.

At once, I shove them in my ear and I hear...absolutely nothing! Then I turn off the light and fall back into bed. I hear a muffled something and say "WHAT" and realize how loud that probably was. I took one out and start laughing and say "what" again and he laughs a little and says "nothing, nothing" and I shove it back in my ear. And I swear I felt like I fell asleep immediately.

I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm clock because I guess I was worried I was not going to hear the alarm clock.

What with the GUN SHOOTING EAR PLUGS ALL UP IN MY EARS ALL NIGHT blocking out all sounds of life, surely you can imagine why I would worry.

And dude, while the amount of sleep was small, I shit you not--that was probably the best quality sleep I have gotten in quite some time.

KegOfSunshine told me there was a mean thunderstorm last night. But I didn't hear it *happy sigh*

Hope he doesn't plan on taking these bitches away from me.

Mine!

Forward Motion Commences!

2007-04-02T17:41:00.000-04:00

Before I say anything, I just have to point out this: www.icanhascheezburger.com--i love this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, after I got sick... I got better (like people do) and then sorta...

...stopped...

...all forward positive motion.?!

Indeed, in some instances, I even took a million steps back. Case in point: I have smoked for the past 2.5 weeks.

Yes, yes. Get the disppointed looks over with. Trust me, I am just as disappointed.

2nd case. I have yet to set foot in the gym since the Strepapolooza of '07 *sigh*

3rd case. My eating is all not healthy. Im drinking like, several sodas a day. Eating like junk (but man so tasty). It's all making me feel awful though. Which leads me to the 4th case where it is spilling over into my homelife (aka clutterathon '05-'07).

See the deal is when we moved into this house, it was stuck somewhere in the 70's where the basement was all wood paneling, and while very groovy baby yeah! we weren't down with it. So we tore it down. put up drywall. painted. put trim on the walls, painted trim, and laid down new carpet--all in like 2 years time (heh).

And by "we" I mean not really me...or the BF, for that matter. I think I painted... a little. Alright, I will admit--he did way more than I did.

But we did leave it alone for like ... I DUNNO... A YEAR give or take. We ended up paying people to finish it because. well. we succcccccccccckkkkk.

What? Why are you looking at me like that!

We like to take our time, dude. There's no need to rush the shit. Where's the fire!?!

heh.

So now, basically I've reached my breaking point. I'm tired of the stacked up boxes in the office, in the basement powder room (yes, you heard me right), in the storage space underneath the stairs. The stacks of like SHIT everywhere cuz we have nowhere to put anything cuz all the storage is being used for like... I dunno what is even IN those boxes. But we keep moving them back and forth and making stacks on the dining room table of stuff to be filed, put away "whenever the office gets done." It's been our mantra since we moved in and IM SO OVER IT.

and hey! what killer timing too! Because we just got the carpet laid in the basement--today! So now! We can move stuff from the office to the newly carpeted area! Put cabinets in the office! And then! It's operation clean-sweep minus the tv camera's!

and maybe chill out on the exclamation marks for a while.

This has done great things for my morale. Forward motion! after 2 years! Yay!

"a while" is a relative amount of time, apparently.

So as my first step, I have smoked my last cigarette. for real. this time no indiscretions. swear.

NO REALLY.

I understand how you can possibly, maybe not like...completely believe me. But I ask you to give me one more chance.

hey how about that bad sentence structure too while we are pointing out things.

P.S. JM: I mailed your stuff. don't faint ;)

Back from the dead

2007-03-11T19:55:00.000-04:00

So I've just spent the past 4 days in bed. In bed with strep. I don't recall ever having strep in my whole life, and let me tell you what. I totally made up for that in the past 4 days.

So on Monday I was feeling like sludge. all tired and dragging. I had the vague sense of a scratchy throat but I just ignored it because. Well I have this hypochondriacal (heh) side to me where if someone mentions that they have a cold or someone in my car pool announces that he thinks he has strep, I'm all "hmmm *clears throat and swallows hard* my throat is a little scratchy all of a sudden too! *blink*" and 6 times out of 10 it ends up being nothing.

but haha! not this time!

Tuesday I felt worseish. But I was still brushing it off because HELLO HOW COULD YOU HAVE POSSIBLY GOTTEN STREP FROM HIM.

And then I woke up Wednesday and my throat felt like it was closing up on me. My ear was screaming in pain. and it hurt like a mother to swallow. So I called in sick. My dear fellow carpool people called me later that day to see how i was doing and if I was going to the Doctor, which, I hadn't at that point. I told them I was gonna "sleep it off"

Hi! I'm an idiot, nice to meetcha!

So i went to urgent care to get swabbed and/or find out what the hell was wrong with me. No strep. Just a cold.

But *blink* I'm not sneezing, or coughing much... how the..?? This is when the Dr. told me I could just have a cold in my throat.

WTF?

So ok blah, I'm not sick. all this shit is in my head. I will be going to work tomorrow! I will!

Then I woke up Thursday and my throat situation was far worse. So I called in again. and made a doctor appointment after I woke up. I went to a new Doctor. An actual like...family doctor! I know! Look at me! Being all...whatever the word is? (Damnit, am I the only one who draws a blank (ha ha) mid-sentence? Tell me I am not.)

I tested positive for strep. He said it like I had just gotten in to Harvard or something. "Hey! You tested positive!"

Yeah. wooohooo.

and then he sat down with his laptop in the exam room and proceeded to type and simultaneously tell me that he was giving me a script for antibiotics and for Lidocaine for the throat pain.

and I said "ok" and held out my hand for the prescription.

he continued staring at his screen and said "Should be ready at your CVS by the time you get there"

How friggin awesome is that? I don't have to sit there and look all extra pathetic so they will fill my prescriptions faster. Hi-tech doctors rock!

Oh, so lemme give you a little insight into Tricia Strep:

Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Hot. ColdHotColdHotColdHotColdHot and then lots of sweating. I literally woke up in the middle of the night and I felt sweat dripping down my face.

Complete and utter exhaustion.

Stomach issues. and I'll just leave it at that

Huge ass razor blades stuck in my throat. It hurt to cough, to swallow, to talk, to yawn, to open my mouth, to sneeze! HOOLLLLLLLLLLY SHIT ON A STICK SNEEZING HURT

I know, you are so jealous right.

Hey next time I say something about how it would be nice to have a day off when someone mentions being/getting sick. Smack me. Smack me hard. I'm a complete idiot if I ever.
say.
that.
again.

Today, I am feeling betterish. I'm still very tired. But now is the time for decontamination! Must wash sheets! Must change toothbrush! Must wash dishes!

Btw. How the hell does a kitchen get so friggin dirty when it's just me here? And I'm spending most of my time comatose in my bed? How?

I blame the cats. Little cute furry balls of terror.

This decontamination process is going way slower than I would prefer as I am having to like rest in between chores. Who breaks a sweat putting away dishes? WHO?

Also. Can I just say how much it f'ing blows to be at home alone AND sick? BF has had a horrible schedule as of late. He was in CA for a week came home Saturday, left ass early on Sunday for a team-outing--A CRUISE TO THE BAHAMAS($#)(*@#)(*$%. Came back from cruise Thursday night, left at 4am Friday morning. Will return like, never.

I'm kidding. I think it is like Thursday now? They keep adding days. Poor guy is gonna be a wreck when he comes home.

But. the shit still went to the Bahamas. WITHOUT ME. so theres only so much sensitivity I can muster.

ah, im just playing.

sorta.

Tomorrow is work. and I gotta admit how excited I am at the prospect of NOT being in my house....even if it is work. I happen to love my job most days, so theres also that bonus.

Also, JM, I haven't uhhh mailed your magazines yet. *hides* I uhh... well ... Ya see it's like this. I'm a sufferer of a chronic disease. It's called THE LAZY. I vow to do it this week. I pinky swear.

or like... next week. Ha. I'm kidding!

I think.

6 months Bitches!

2007-02-27T08:59:00.000-05:00

Sunday was officially six months since I quit smoking.

and while I have had a handful of indiscretions...It fucking counts dude. IT. FUCKING. COUNTS.

Seriously, don't piss me off man, I'll chew your hand off. Hell I'd figure out a way to smoke your hand.

... Hey, did I mention how bad I suddenly want a goddamn cigarette...Came on strong on Sunday and all I can come up with is that it is 6 months. BF, of course, scoffed at the idea that my subconscious could possibly know that it is 6 months. This is where we started arguing. about nothing. CUZ I HAVE A SHORT TEMPER RIGHT NOW DUE TO ME FIENING LIKE A...

LIKE A...

well like an addict :(

*sigh* Longing, thy name is Philip Morris. I hate you by the way Phil. Hate.

but uhm, can i bum a smoke? I was only kidding just then. NoNoNo. Who said hate!?! Don't be crazy. I luvs you. No really... <3.

Seriously. gimme a cigarette.

I'm not afraid to use violence, ya know. I row now. Im totally badass *flex*

*twitch* I can get through this *twitch*

It's funny how perspectives change...

2007-02-11T21:25:00.000-05:00

Earlier, in January, when it got cold finally (or dammit! depending on your outlook), it was like 30s and 40s and I was all brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr its cold.

no wait. i was all: "FUCK! IT'S COLD!"

and then it went all Antarctica on me and was like 10 degrees, and with wind chill was below zero.

and yeah. now THAT'S fucking cold.

On Saturday, I stepped outside to see how cold it was and I left without a coat cuz it felt warm! I got in my car and started the ignition. The car said it was 37 degrees.

*blink* say what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They are calling for more snow this week.

Mild winter my ass. hmph.

P.S. I will stop bitching about the cold, when it like stops. being cold. FORTHELOVEOFGOD PLEASE STOP!

Inspiration leads to pain

2007-02-06T09:21:00.000-05:00

One of our carpoolers pooled money with his family over the holidays and decided to do a biggest loser sort of competition in which the winner would win the money. He dropped out of carpool (bastard) so that he could modify his schedule to fit in working out.

I saw him yesterday morning, and he looks awesome. No more tummy, his face is slimming down and wow. just wow. Such progress in a month. So I talked to him for a bit and asked him some questions. I walked away from our conversation thinking "sheewwwt. I could do that!"

and then I ordered a breakfast burrito from the downstairs deli and thought about it some more.

Later that day, it occurred to me that maybe I needed something fun to keep me going. KegOfSunshine had, coincidently, asked me early that same morning if I wanted to go to a hip hop class with her and her roommate at Bally's. I would have to pay $8 since I am not a member. I got to thinking that, eventhough that sounds way fun, it seems silly to me to pay $8 to go to a gym that I am not a member of, when I pay $40/month for a Gold's membership I haven't used in a ~~few months~~ long ass time.

So I went to my gym's website to see what the dilly-o. I clicked on the various classes and they seemed fun enough but were just so ... I dunno...ordinary. Maybe, perhaps not fun enough to keep me going (this was probably my lazy side talking me out of it already), and then I saw "Fit Row" and I read the description:

This total body exercise will burn calories and sculpt muscle in a non-impact workout that is safe and effective for all fitness levels. . Learn the power of being in the rowing zone on our new rowing machines.

I mean that sounds like perfection. "rowing zone"--that just sounds all kinds of harcore! I can be hardcore! and also! NEW MACHINES! I like New!

So I spent the afternoon watching the minutes tick by til it was home time so I could go to the gym! I was that excited!

So I went early to get a machine in the back (heh) and I sat down next to this girl. I asked her if she had taken this class before, she said yes. To which I said "OK so, how do you do it?"

And holy mother she schooled me on ALL that is rowing. Indeed, it was extremely helpful but I had a hard time keeping my eyeballs from rolling to the back of my head. I was sitting on her right, to my right was another machine and then a mirrored wall. As she talked to me, and I was smiling and nodding, I noticed she would steal a glance of herself in the mirror. So I started to screw with her, nonchalantly moving back and forth. When I moved a little forward, she would look behind my head. and When I moved back she would look in front of my head. It took all I had in me not to crack more than a smile. About 3/4 of the way into her soliloquy on all things crew and rowing, I stopped listening and just counted the times she looked in the mirror.

22 people. TWENTY. TWO.

heh.

Anyway so class started and the instructor was nice and seemed to know her stuff (since, ya know. IM SO EDUCATED NOW) and off we went. We started with the warm-up where she showed us proper technique--Legs, Body, Arms, Arms, Body, Legs. Keeping up is gonna be hard enough, now I have to worry about technique???

Then we moved on to some drills. Beginning of drill one, I looked at the timer, 12:27

oh shit. im so screwed.

Then I thought maybe I should stop paying attention to the timer and focus on my form! my technique! must focus!

....

5 minutes later...

*pant*fuck.*pant* this is hard *pant*

Then we stopped for water, praise God.

and then she said "ok. when you are ready, just start paddling and that will let me know we are ready to move on."

at which point everyone grabbed their paddles and started rowing

and i thought "damnit. you fit people" and shook my fist in my head.

Then we started what she called a "Pyramid"

basically you start out paddling for 1 stroke then you do a rev up stroke, then you hit it as hard as you can for 1 stroke, then paddle for 10 seconds, then paddle for 2 strokes, rev up stroke, hit it hard for 2 strokes... til you got to 10.

Stroke 8 on Rep #10 is when the paddle...

...flew out of my hands...

... and slammed into the wheel...

heh. oopsy.

Some people looked back, most were focused on being hardcore. I love those hardcore people for not adding to my embarrassment.

Anyway. then we did like weight lifting with the paddle, some more drills, then up to do squats then down again for drills.

and then, blissful stretching.

and then it was ovah.

HA HA! Holy shit! I made it through!

Aside from my legs feeling like jello and being able to feel every single muscle in my back, I felt fabulous.

I got my shake from the juice bar and walked outta there victorious!

[cue the rocky anthem]

Man. I felt so good last night.

Today. not so much *wince*

holy crap my body hurts. Im sore in the weirdest places. But thats ok dude, I went to the gym and I worked. I worked hard. and I have the soreness to prove it.

Thank you mr. carpool man and other friends who are beginning/in their quest to get fit and healthy. You all have inspired me to follow in your footsteps.

Now, just to keep with it. hmm..

Merry Groundhog Day!

2007-02-02T10:36:00.000-05:00

God Bless the Groundhog.

*happy sigh*

Free Hugs!

2007-02-01T09:05:00.000-05:00

First of all, this is friggin awesome.

and second, I immediately thought of my little kegOfSunshine and her ability to squeeze love right into you with her hugs ;)

hey sunshine, let's go do this!

also, thanks to BT for showin me this.

God, this makes me all smiley and weepy.

anyone else get teary? no? yeah me either *cough*

Fuck! It's Cold!

2007-01-31T08:29:00.000-05:00

I actually tried other words and phrases for the title...

"It's Friggin Cold!", which... meh.

"HOLY COLD BATMAN" completely overused by the Author if you ask me

"HOLY MOTHER ITS COLD"... not bad not bad

but I mean. "FUCK! It's Cold!" its...its perfection, sorry.

also, "FUCK! It's Cold Bitches!" also works but slightly over the top, no?

Annnywayyyy.

I have to say that I was probably one of the few who was not complaining when it was like, I dunno SIXTY FIVE DEGREES IN JANUARY. God, that was indeed blissful I must say. And Christmas? at 50 something degrees? WHATS WRONG WITH THAT? Seems perfectly normal to me.

But now. The whiners have won, and it is FUCK.ING. COLD. OUTSIDE! Man. I even have to wear a goddamn coat.

That right there is the worst part. I hate coats. I hate driving while wearing a coat. However, a coat does keep me warm so... there's that.

Lately, I have been having this weird body temperature control issue where IM COLD ALL THE DAMN TIME. Like teeth chattering cold.

Monday, when I came home from work. I sat down in my coat, gloves and scarf ... AND WAS COLD. I sat like that for a good while. Mind you, I was INSIDE the house...ya know... where the heater is on!

Right now, I have my space heater ON my desk FACING ME. It could possibly melt my right side of my face and probably my shoulder. But I? right now? IM COLD STILL. Yet? My ear might melt off. Seriously, I touched my ear and my earrings burnt my hand.

Oh. Speaking of hands. I am developing a bowling callouse on my left thumb.

How sexy am I now? *prance*

I saw this on another blog (haha! a mommyblog too!) and I am totally buying one right now.

So back to me being cold. (cuz really, it is such an interesting topic) I have been going through this routine with my space heater at work. Where I'm all hovering around it, chattering my teeth until I go... hey! I should try some coffee or somethin'! Then I brave the cold hallways and acquire hot chocolate (because I change my mind. I'm allowed.) and then I sit back down and cup both hands around the steaming cup of chocolatey goodness and blow on it and take sips and burn the crap out of my tongue. But! It's ok! It is for a greater cause than my ability to taste! Once I am done, I start doing a bit of work and then I realize...

HOLY CRAP ITS HOT IN HERE! TURN OFF THAT DAMN HEATER!

Then 10 minutes later.

MOTHERF(#*)$)#@(*$)@ NOW ITS COLD.

.... All. Day. Long.

and no, I am not anemic.

I've discussed this with a few people and they sorta look at me like I have no eyebrows and then go "well, maybe you are getting sick?!?"

which! aha! people! don't you know! I AM NOT GETTING SICK THIS WINTER! NO WAY! NO HOW! NUH UH NOT ME! NO SIR!

NO REALLY! I made a pact with myself even! And! The last time I called in sick was September. SEPTEMBER! I cannot break this streak of mine. I will not allow it.

Now, if you will excuse me, I gotta go get my ~~coffee~~ hot chocolate and get this party started.

Proof that I am on the wrong friggin coast...

2007-01-23T15:04:00.000-05:00

So a friend mentioned that Rage Against the Machine was gonna reunite for some concert, and I was all "pffffffft. I'll believe when I see it."

and lo!
Rage Against the Machine will reunite for Cochella
[cue the angels singing]

(I'm also a day late on this but hey. I was snowed in! heh)

But. Guess where that is? Califrickinfornia!

man. *pout*

well there's bound to be some CD's cut from it and BELIEVE YOU ME they will end up in my hot little hands.

I hope anyway.

oh!oh! there will be a DVD!

whew.

though, hey! I dont see RATM in the "performers include" list. wtf?!

wow, check that lineup. Hey uhhh... anyone wanna go to Cali?

heh.

I'm only half kidding.

P.S. I do so enjoy incomplete sentences.

wussy.

2007-01-23T08:57:00.000-05:00

So, yesterday, ya know when it was all like OMG ICEY!!! EEEK!... You remember?

I stayed my ass at home, tyvm *bow*

However, most everybody else at work? Went to work. So I feel slightly like a dumbass but I am not letting it affect me... much *cough*

Earlier this morning, I saw that my boss called me. So I quickly applied my make-up and straightened myself out as if I gotten to work that way (pshaw!) and scurried over to her office. Turns out she just wanted to have mexican with me. BTW? Have I mentioned ever my love and simultaneous snobbery of mexican food? Like it has to be a certain kind of mexican for me to even consider it. But I could probably eat mexican every single stinkin day of my life. And I pretty much did when I was in San Antonio *happy sigh*

uhhh..

oh right! So anyway, we talked a little and I was all "yeah sorry, Im a wussy when it comes to ice" As if I havent been working here for the last decade and she has no idea who I am.

and she was all "yeah hehe, I pretty much expect it from you, [team member], and [other team member]... and that's ok! It is all about what you are comfortable with!"

dude, did she just backhand me?

maybe it was the "yeah, I pretty much expect that from you" bit that made me all "WTF!" and fidgety.

I know she didn't mean it the way I took it, but well I am a girl and I overthink things.

oh so! back to the ice.

So yesterday, BF and I went outside to shovel stuff. (i.e., he shovels and I tilt my head and go "but! what about over here? *points*). What? Okokok. I helped him clean off my car. god.

WHAT!?!

Ice scares me and it was everywhere! *sniffle*

Anyway. So I made him put down some sand where I would be walking the next morning cuz I knew the stuff that was now water was gonna refreeze--the thing I hate most about winter and virginia is the flippin ice. So I sorta made this big deal about it. I was all stressy last night about slipping and being a general moron.

This morning, I carefully walk to my car and guess what. I didn't slip! not once! I'd like to say it was because of my insistence with the sand. But I am guessing it really wasn't as bad as it was in my head.

Driving on my street however? Let's just say skating is fun! Was fine once I got off our street though. So glad we are paying for people to clear our snow. They do such a fine job. *cough*

I'd say I'm gonna move back to San Antonio, but! IT SNOWS THERE TOO NOW.

friggin el nino.

Confessions of a blank mind

2007-01-19T08:55:00.000-05:00

or. Another excuse to make a list!

There's a few thing I have been keeping from you...

I know, I know. I shouldn't do it and it is very hurtful to you but I just couldn't tell you these things. BELIEVE ME this hurts me more than it hurts you.

wait.

what?

Oh. Yeah so, I've got some secrets and I am finally willing to share but shshshshsh cuz this is top secret stuff.

I LOVE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE DAMNIT. There. I said it. and SNICKER IF YOU MUST but he is the bees knees dude. the BEES. KNEES. I mean C'MON. How can you possibly resist. Also? Love that song. Doesn't matter what sort of mood I am in, when it comes on... I... I just have to wiggle it.

AMERICAN IDOL SLAYS ME. The first season I was all "I'm just gonna watch the auditions cuz pssssssssh that's the only funny part *hair toss*" Second and third seasons, I forgot completely. Fourth season, I remembered again and vowed to only watch the auditions because, god. the rest of it so so lame *rolls eyes* and then Constantine happened and I was sucked in. What? It wasn't my fault! Who can resist that grin! WHO. And season 5. oh my goodness season 5. There was Ace *dreamy sigh*. And like, Chris Daughtry and his shiney little head *swoon*. I mean, look how he grips that microphone *pant*

hang on, I need a moment. ahem.

How'd this get to be all about boys anyway?

I READ PEOPLE AND US WEEKLY. I EVEN HAVE SUBSCRIPTIONS. OK!?! OK! god.

I watch The O.C. and Grey's Anatomy and Gilmore Girls. And I get really really excited when these shows come on. At the end of each show, I'm all "WHAT!?!?!! THATS IT! )(#*)$(@*#)(*@)#($*@" as if I didn't already know that they do that shit on purpose

I LOVE award shows. I really could care LESS who won what. I'm all about who is wearing what and who is with WHOM and dude... did you hear about this? poor lil fella :(

The other day bf was checking out his mp3's to figure out which ones to put on his shuffle he got from santa. He would play like a couple seconds of a song and I would sing some lyrics from it. I ROCKED THAT GAME. I fancy myself something of a song knower...type...person? Whats the friggin word for that!?. My co-worker, however, would disagree since he knows WAY MORE THAN I DO. But thats really irrelevant *cough*

I like making lists. Shocked arentcha.

PUSSYCAT DOLLS ALSO MAKE ME WIGGLE IT (just a lil bit)

I also think the lead singer of The Deftones, Chino Moreno is smokin hot. And his band rules too.

I used to be such a fan of Lost but they've successfully drained all interest from my brain. CAN THEY JUST GET RESCUED ALREADY!?! God. And Why doesnt the big dude lose any weight!?! Tom Cruise did! WTF?! At least try to be accurate.

Oh yeah, I'm back to not hating T.V. anymore

I like Marilyn Manson. I DONT CARE IF THATS OK WITH YOU OR NOT. I LIKES HIM.

Rage Against the Machine is probably my all time favorite band. But they broke up *sniffle*

Now I am on a music tangent

Also? The Mars Volta? I'm digging them lots n lots. See how I even out the Timberlake/Pussycat dolls thing?

My sophmore year in high school, I became a country music fan. It was due to the fact that I started dating a "kicker" and well...I dunno I'm stupid. I can listen to country now, if forced. But I don't choose it.

"Kicker" - a dude/chick who wears boots, big belt buckle and wranglers. And generally just looks like they either just left the rodeo or are going to it.***

Oh Speaking of rodeos, my first date with this said "kicker"? At the rodeo in San Antonio for a Reba McIntyre concert. Pretty much shoving that shit down my throat from the start. Also, I might've said I liked country music to get his attention *cough*. but thats really just an ugly rumor. *fidget*

I could keep going but I should maybe do some work now.

*** We have a name for them see cuz...CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, not ALL Texans are cowboys and we don't ride around on friggin horses on our dirt roads.

.... we use our john deere tractor. :P

I am feeling the need to add more cuz! I forgot some stuff! and we can't have that!

I read "mommyblogs" eventhough I am not a mommy. They are some funny chicks man. FUN.NY.

I love dave matthews band with all my heart. Maybe I am a hippy. so what. (I'm not though. no really.)

I should do a top ten band list. oohhh! okokok Ill do that.

[/end retardoness ;) ]

A Cast of Characters...

2007-01-17T08:40:00.000-05:00

So since I am now an old hand at this here bowling league business, I have had plenty of time to sit and observe the wide-array of bowling personalities on our league, and I thought I would share my insights.

Cuz I'm a giver. I give. I GIVE!

The Bowling Pins: (Snappy name, no? The creativity. It boggles the mind, I know.)

The "WHATEVER I DONT CARE" Bowler: I, myself fall into this category. This is the person who acts all "pssssssssh whatever, gutterball, I don't care. IM HERE FOR FUN PEOPLE! FUN! And by the end of the 3rd game they're all "GODDAMNIT (@#U*$(*#@&(!@*&$(@!&$*@!(&!@($*&!@$( THATS IT! IM DONE WITH THIS BOWLING SHIT!!!! #(*@$&#(*$&#@()" ahem. This type of bowler is good on occassion, but generally just sucks out loud at bowling *bow*.

The "launch the ball down the lane" Bowler: This is the guy (normally, it is a dude. However, we do have a few female launchers too) who cups the ball in his forearm, fingers BARELY in the holes, and he sort of runs up the lane and THROWS the ball. Now, it may or may not hit the wood prior to hitting the pins. But, believe you me. He will show those pins who's boss.

The "I TAKE THIS WAY TOO SERIOUSLY" Bowler: This person may or may not own their own ball. They will, however, have one of those braces on their wrist and they don't tend to smile a whole lot. There's no smiling in bowling! are you crazy! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS! This is the person who bowls, doesnt get a strike, turns around to the crowd with a combo pissed off/shocked look on their face. Say a few explicatives, and stomp off the wood. They continue to be pissy all.night.long. When they do get a strike, they're all "FINALLY. GOD." Lovely people to be around.

The "I KNOW WAY MORE THEN A PERSON SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BOWLING" Bowler: These people discuss their "strategy" when it is not their turn to bowl. The watch others bowl intently and they discuss it WITH ANYONE WHO MIGHT HAVE MADE THE MISTAKE OF MAKING EYE CONTACT ACCIDENTALLY. They discuss the level of oil on the lanes, or lack thereof. They usually own MORE THAN ONE BALL. These balls are for various occassions, including the level of oil previously mentioned. They are lighthearted about bowling in general but are veryveryveryvery hard on themselves when they do not get a strike OR SOMETIMES when they get a strike but its one of those where theres one pin left and it decides to fall at the last minute cuz THATS NOT A REAL STRIKE. They always say "Well, I'll take it!" When they do not make a strike, however, you can see them whispering explicatives to themselves as they walk off the lane and telling themselves how much they suck. They sit down and proceed to mull over what went wrong until the next time. When they can avenge themselves.

The "Pre-celebrator, celebrator" Bowler: This person is so confident in their bowling skills, that as soon as the ball has left their fingertips they immediately start cheering and patting themselves on the back. This works nicely when they get a strike, but there are times, when a strike just was not in the cards. When this happens, they turned around to the group shocked! WHAT THE! DID YOU SEE THAT CRAP!?!!?! This does not, however, stop him from doing this each and every time he bowls.

The "kicker" Bowler: This dude is usually a pretty good bowler. Probably a combination of several of the above, but as an added bonus after hey throws the ball he stands and stares and waits. When the ball hits the pins, this dude does some sort of kick or arm pump simultaneously with the strike. Now this becomes funny because he does it every single time--regardless of whether it is a strike or not. When it is not a strike, he turns around, defeated. This is makes me chuckle a little. I DONT KNOW WHY. Or maybe I'm just evil and jealous of good bowlers.

The "tantrum throwing" bowler:This is the guy or girl who, after the pins have fallen unsatisfactorily either stomps or yells, etc. They also tend to blame the bowling gods, and say things like "WHAT ELSE CAN I DO!?!" They are usually mediocre bowlers.

The "Damn I'm good" Bowler: This bowler is in fact, an excellent bowler. And they know it. They bowl, do the "yes" motion with their arm (elbow bent, hand in fist, fist to side of body--you know what im saying), and then they non-chalantly spin around with a grin on their face and modestly walk back to their seat. Perhaps slapping a few high-fives on his way back. He doesn't need to be dramatic see. cuz he IS INDEED THE AWESOMEST. EVAH.

The "I bowl with my eyes wide-shut" Bowler: I don't know if this can be considered a category because I have only seen one person do this but I am running out of categories and I am almost to 10 pins (#@#()*)!(* ahem. Anyway. This person grabs her ball, walks up to her chosen position. Brings the ball up to her nose. and then closes her eyes and, I'm guessing, "visualizes" the pins and her strike. She proceeds to walk and throw the ball WITH HER EYES STILL CLOSED. This works for her about 3/4 of the time. She also wears a wrist guard. heh.

The "IM THROWING THE BALL SO HARD THAT I LOOK LIKE IM GONNA BITE IT" Bowler: This guy is usually a good bowler. His "approach" leaves something to be desired (I should talk) and slides before he releases the ball. Once he releases the ball his body goes all awry and he catches himself before he falls. flat. on. his ass. I have yet to see one of these bowlers actually fall, but I always wince when I see them bowl. Also? Falling on the lane? One of my secret fears :( So when I slide, my heart drops to my stomach. every.single.time. You'd think I would get used to it by now. But no, I am a weirdo. No shock there, I suppose.

And there you have it! Don't you feel more educated now?

oh look! a story about the grocery store!

2007-01-15T17:56:00.000-05:00

how CLEVER!

shush ;)

So I went to the grocery store on Saturday afternoon, I had a list and duh, I bought shit.

Here's the funny part.

So I am in line, piling all my stuff onto the conveyor belt making sure everything is in its proper category:

Produce
Refrigerated Items
Frozen
Boxed Stuff
cans/jars
bread/eggs

It's a brilliant system, you should try it.

Anyway! So this couple comes up behind me and the conversation goes something like:

Girl: This is the only open regular lane...we could go over there to the self-checkout?

Dude: Nah, we have a lot of stuff and knowing us something will go screwy and we will have to wait and *sigh* no lets stay here.

[This is where I feel eyes staring at the back of my head] I look up and smile cuz "WHAT THE FUCCCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT PEOPLE."

The dude looks at his cart which is just as full as mine and starts to get twitchy. He cranes his neck to see the progress in the self-checkout lanes.

I continue putting my stuff on the belt (YAH. I BOUGHT LOTS).

He comes scurrying back.

Dude: Let's go over there, its open.

Girl: hooonnnneeey noooooooooooooooooooooo. Look! the light is blinking! We will have to wait forever. Plus! we have produce! How do we ring that up?

Dude: You just put it on the scale and choose crap on the monitor (he's in IT I bet).
[and then he begins to tell this story about how he went to "Wally World" to get "TORE TILLAS" and he bought 1 of something but it said he bought 2 and he couldnt figure out how to take it back so he flipped the switched for assistance and he waited forever so he went over to another line and checked out and left]

Girl: *blink* What's that got to do with anything?

Me Inside: AHAHAHAHAHAA

Dude: Oh. Uh... nothin' Hey cmon let's go over there.

Girl: honnneeeey noooooooooooo cmon lets just stay here.

Dude: Cmon!

I look up and give her one of those "I feel your pain sister" smiles and she gives me one of those "ugggggghhhh men" smiles and sighs and off she went.

So I checkout and put the crap in the car. I'm driving down the parking lot and who do I see coming out of the grocery store?

The dude and the girl.

She kicked him and pointed at me and I just smiled.

I feel your pain sister, I feel ya.

Uninspired...

2007-01-12T08:35:00.000-05:00

Each and every single day I keep my eyes peeled for something funny to happen...something BLOGWORTHY. So far I've got nothin'. I feel like I should be posting though cuz MY PUBLIC IS WAITING WITH BATED BREATH for a new post!

no really ;)

Which is completely amusing to me cuz I know like *counts on fingers* eight ... er nine! NINE WHOLE PEOPLE WHO READ MY BLOG.

I also know every single person in real life! ohhhhhhhhhhh wait! TWELVE! holy shit dude im a supahstah! DOUBLE DIGITS!

ahem. anyway what was my point.

oh wait I didnt have one. See, this here is like a Seinfeld episode because it is a post about nothing and is funny! OK so only half like a Seinfeld episode (meanie).

I will say that I am digging El Nino, even though its ruining the planet and blah blah blah...its friggin WARM and I LIKES IT. I found myself grumbling under my breath the other day when I had to *gasp* scrape my window one morning.

Hello Trish, its Winter!

I think my problem is that I didn't grow up with snow (south texas...not so much with the white stuff being ya know, in the southern tip of the country and all) and therefore snow scares the ever-loving shit out of me.

I dunno what to do! How do I drive in it! What about walking! and WHAT--god forbid I should ever get stuck somewheres--do I do to get myself like... unstuck! Do I roll the car back and forth or like press down on the gas and bury myself deeper. what! WHAT! WHHHHAAAT! Tell me what to do! I dunno!

Also. Also! ALSO! What about when you get into a spin--im told you are supposed to turn the wheel the opposite way and let off the gas but dont brake. WTF IS THAT ABOUT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THAT? I dunno what my knee-jerk reaction would be to that situation anyway cuz it hasnt happened yet (knock on wood), but I'm fairly certain it wouldn't be THAT.

I am an excellent driver.

Anyway, so my theory is this: had I grown up in snow, this wouldn't be so foreign to me. But I have TRACTION CONTROL so I got nothin' to worry about right? RIGHT?! Right.

Though maybe that theory is a bunch of crap cuz surely SOMEONE in NOVA was brought up in some snowy part of the country. Yet theres a plethora (I did NOT have to look that one up, tyvm!) of accidents on snowy days and serious traffic cuz people are stupid. and also, probably just as scared shitless as I. This is why I try to stay home, or let someone else drive on these days.

You are welcome.

oh...P.S. OH NO! :( Have I mentioned I love Mr. Timberlake? And have since his boyband days. and IM PROUD OF IT! Wait shshshshs use your inside voice! People can hear you! heh.

Dear everyone,

2007-01-08T08:32:00.000-05:00

The girl you see in the car? Waving her hands around and yelling at no one with her windows up? Thats not me. No no no, I mean it is me it's just not who I imagine my non-smoker self being.

Yet on the way to drop my poor little kegOfSunshine at home friday mid-morning you could hear me saying:

"go. go! GO! GOOOO! FUUUUUUUUUUCKING GOOOO!!!!!" while wildly flashing my lights cuz FREAKING GO ALREADY DONT YOU SEE ME STOPPING FOR HALF A SECOND TO LET YOU IN.

I need some goddamn yoga or something.

sheesh.

The funny thing is? As sooon as I did that, kegOfSunshine looks over at me in her pain and extreme nausea and busts out with "HAHAHAHAHAAHA"

which made me realize how ridiculous I am being.

After dropping her off, I put the Squizz on and did my best to not pay attention to ALL THE GODDAMN IDIOTS ON THE ROAD.

WHY CANT YOU OPERATE YOUR VEHICLE PERFECTLY LIKE ME!

GOD.

hey, at least im not smoking though. Count your friggin lucky stars damnit.

xo,

Tricia

P.S. You are right, I should probably opt for a calmer, less angry XM Radio channel. But. I don't wanna. so suck it.

P.P.S. Yes, Ok, signing up for Yoga today.

durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2006-12-20T09:15:00.000-05:00

I have one day left until I am off for Christmas and it seems as though my brain went on Holiday like last friday...

Exhibits A through whatever:

A. I keep checking my xmas list of shopping still to do (yah. I said STILL TO DO), even though I have the stupid thing burned into my brain. I still go "wait, what is left again?" and read it. for the 32098203948203498203948203948th time.

B. The other day, a co-worker asked me if I wanted anything from Panera. I looked at him blankly (im guessing) and after I had him repeat it, I said "oh...n..no thank you!" Honestly all I heard him say the first time was "woh woh woh woh woh?" Charlie Brown teacher style. He asked me what the look was for and I said "Oh...that was tooooootally not what I was expecting you to say" Cuz I'm quick on my feet like that. *cough*

C. I have stared at my closet every evening this week for a minimum of 10 minutes going "sooooo... what should I wear tomorrow" and I sit on my bed, cock my head to the side and swing my legs back and forth like a complete idiot and stare at my closet as if clothes will magically fly out of it and make themselves into this spectacular outfit. I end up picking the same basic shit every week, why the bewilderment?

C. This past weekend, I was on a christmas cookie mission and baked and made candy and...whew...martha stewart would be proud, let me tell you. BF and I went to the store friday night to get everything I needed. I even had a list! and my recipes just in case I needed to double-check! and turns out! I needed to! Like twice! there was even a whole recipe THAT WAS NOT EVEN ON THE DAMN LIST. how the hell? I made this big deal about making the list and then i left whole cookie recipe ingredients off? nice. and also! I went back to the store once! and sent bf back again! AN HOUR LATER!

D. Ooops I did C twice. see what I mean?

E. I had to dictionary.com confusion cuz in Exhibit C (the first one) I originally wrote "why the perplexion" and its not even a friggin word as I had suspected. I then thesauresed (dont even tell me thats not a word either) "confusion" to get bewildered so I sound all smart. Only now I have revealed my secret. *sigh* dumbass.

F. I laid on my heating pad last night cuz my back huuuuuuuuuuuuurts, as I do when my... uhh... back hurts (makes sense no?) and I woke up this morning WITH.IT.STILL.ON. Weee!!! howz about a nice house fire to start the morning! Luckily nothing happened but doooode...thats not good!

G. WHAT THE HELL DAMN DAY IS IT DAMNIT. IS IT WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY?!?! Thursday! No wait! Wednesday! Wait! ...God.

H. I made Chicken Tortilla Soup Monday night for a pot-luck lunch my team was having on Tuesday. As I poured the soup into the crock pot at work Tuesday morning, I realized I FORGOT THE TORTILLA PART. woopsy.

I. The longer I think about this the more I come up with...and I dunno if I need to reveal alllllll that today.

Luckily, I am not operating heavy machinery this week. Carpool, I love you the mostest!

The one where she complains about stuff...

2006-12-15T08:23:00.000-05:00

I know...it's all very shocking and like new for me to be complaining *cough*

So in the middle of November, I ordered 4 new tires from tirerack.com to replace my dry-rotted orginal with car tires. Me, cheapass that I am, chose the shipping that was the cheapest which also had the tires backordered. They did not get shipped until just after Thanksgiving. Got the tires put on at a local garage the weekend following thanksgiving. The day the car was in the shop I received a call from the garage where they threw big manly words at me like "camber" and "caster" and "toe" to which I immediately began imagining a big foot on my car and thought "wtf?!"

Anyway, the way the dude explained it made it sound as if he did not have the tool to fix my right camber so I was going to have to pay $79 for this tool and $82 for the alignment.

to which i said "shhaaaa right!"

so I took my car home with brand new tires and a bum foot. It was when I called the dealership to figure out what the hell this mechanic was talking about that I finally understood: He needed to replace the bolt kit! It is a part! Not a tool! How hard is it to say shit like that? He kept referring to it as a "tool" and well. I dont pay for garage equipment. It's a little rule I have, call me crazy.

Last Saturday night, I drop my car off to get the camber shit fixed. I was told that it would be done by COB on sunday. cool.

Then I get a phone call mid-afternoon asking if they could have the car until tomorrow morning because the "general mechanics" do not have the experience to do this camber fix and they would like to wait until a specialized mechanic is available to work on it.

I say sure cuz I have blessed carpool and it is not my week to drive, so what's one more day?

Monday rolls around and I call when I get home from work cuz W.T.F. He then tells me that he will give me a call back after he talks to the mechanic to get an update.

He calls me back. They have NOT started working on the car but will start immediately.

I say "It will be done tonight I hope." and he says yes. He tells me to come at COB (7pm) to pick it up.

BF tells me I was rude. whatever. they have not worked on the car all.day.long. what kinna bullshit is that?

I call at 6:45 juuuuuuuuuuust to make sure. It isn't finished. they can't get it "to spec" and can they keep the car another day.

In my head: "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
Outloud: Actually no, I need my car tomorrow to get to ...you know...work.

(I had to drive myself the next day, had doctors appointments to get to)

He told me I could take the car and asked me to return it as soon as possible.

I asked him "so its ok to drive on it half aligned?!"

he says "I think so"

I say "You think? or you know"

he says "yeah yeah no its fine"

in my head: "im gonna be driving down 95 and a wheel falls off...just watch"

So I pick up the car.

Fast forward to the next morning when I am getting out of the car at work.

There is grease on.my.door.interior.AND.on.the.exterior.

I whisper a few explicatives to myself and then call later in the morning when the garage opens. Phone call went something like:

Garage: "Thanks for calling alsdkjldskfjslkfdthsodf auto care, this is Adam, How may I help you?"
Me: "Hi Adam, Listen I've got a bit of a problem, and I want to know how you are going to make it better."
Adam: chuckles. [Really? thats the first move you wanna make? Laughing at an angry customer? Excellent move.]
Me: [this is where I tell the story. I didnt feel it necessary to repeat...this shit is already long enough] "...and now there's grease on the interior AND exterior of my car."
Adam: "Well ma'am I do apologize, I do not know what is going on with the alignment and I'd like to see this grease that you are talking about. We have upholstery cleaner, so we can clean that."
me: "oookkaaay...."
Adam: "How about I give you the oil change and the alignment free of charge, does that work for you"
Me: [Jaw on floor] "Umm..Ye..Yes. That works"
Me Inside: HOLLLLY SHIT!
Adam: "when will you be dropping the car off?"
Me: "I don't get back into the area until 430/445 so probably 5 or so"
Adam: "OK well I won't be here at 5, but I will inform the assistant manager"
Me: [begin paranoia] "Uh huh...ok"

So I begin to think about how they are gonna screw me and say that they have no idea what I am talking about and can I please fork over the $200 already and shut the hell up.

But no, that didn't happen. The dude knew exactly what I was talking about and even said "I was here on Sunday when this was supposed to be completed"

Me Inside: "Really? So why didnt you work on the shit then. god."
Me Outside: "Oh really?"
Him: "yeah I dunno why it isnt fixed"
me Inside: Me either jackass, me either.
me outside: silence.

k so that was tuesday night.

receive a call wednesday morning telling me how my battery has died and they need to replace it. Batteries normally pull 600 something and mine was pulling 11. They will not charge me for labor, just the battery.

me: "ok so what will my new total be?"
adam: "$89.00--thats the cost of the battery."
me: "oh but I thought I was paying for the bolt kit for the camber too"
adam: "No I am not charging you for that"
me: [Jaw on floor] "ok, go ahead and replace it"
adam: "i will give you a call later and let you know when your car is ready"
me: "okie dokie"

fast forward (heh) to wednesday afternoon.

Adam calls and tells me that the car starts now but wont stay on and the key fob no longer works, the door locks do not work and some other crap doesnt work. They cannot figure it out so they are gonna have my car towed to the dealership so they can fix whatever is wrong. He is going to issue me a rental car in the meantime.

Dealership tells me that my BCM is blown and needs to be replaced. That'll be $531.

Me: "I'm sorry...WHAT!"
Dealership: I see you have had this replaced before, November of 2003
Me: So the car was a little over a year old when it was replaced the first time?
Dealership: seems to be that way...
Me: So help me out here. How does a major electrical module go out in a basically new car TWICE in 4 years?
Dealership: I dunno... maybe the garage jumped the car and thats when the BCM blew
Me: yeah uh huh. Cuz thats a normal thing a garage would do. Jump a car before testing the damn battery.
Dealership: It is hard to prove...
Me: there's a shocker [yes i am being rude, this is friggin ridiculous]"

so i call corporate customer service to like complain cuz wtf!

I got a call this morning. They will replace the BCM Module, all I am responsible for is labor...$180.

Hey, thats better than $531.

shew.

What's funny is that just a few years ago I would have never fought and would have just paid and curled up in a little ball and wimpered.

Not so bad this growing up bidness.

So I called the garage just a minute ago to give them a courtesy update on what the deal is with the car. After much apologizing and kissing my ass I was informed that THE ALIGNMENT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN FINISHED.

Im expecting a call later today when they find out.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!>?!

Oi...

2006-12-06T12:02:00.000-05:00

So guess what? I'm getting old :(

I know I know we are all doing it, shush. I get that. It is just that I am just recently noticing the lovely tell tell signs and today is the icing on the cake. And I wanna whine about it *pout* I'm not all OMG! IMA FREAK THE HELL OUT NOW cuz...well I dunno why. But lets just go with it.

The said "tell tell signs":

Like a year ago, I was looking in the mirror putting my hair up. When I was done, I turned my head from side to side like I do to admire my handywork (this shit takes talent people!) and a odd piece of light color hair type looking thing was sticking straight out of the side of my head (insert *booiinnnggg* sound effect here). So I was all WTF!?! and I tugged at it and leaned forward in the mirror and squinted and then my eyes widened with the realization that HOLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHIT THATS A GRAY HAIR (p.s. grey/gray?). I then proceeded to redo the updo to hide this new revelation. Didn't work. That little punk sticks out every single time. I wear my hair down lots more often now.

Kids of co-workers/fellow employees are now in college. COLLEGE!?!?! Holy Shit dude, these kids were in like middle school when I first met em. My bosses son? Yah. IN THE MILITARY NOW. holy crap. I remember riding in the car with her and her two boys were sitting in the back as we skated along I-81 one winter evening. I remember thinking how intelligent they were for being so young and so well behaved. THE MILITARY people! gah.

"laugh lines" or whatever the hell you want to call them have now a permanent spot on my face. No. kidding. I noticed it the other day. When I watched myself go from smile to no smile, lines about the nose and mouth were still there. awesome.

My hip pops when I get in and out of BF's acura. I dunno if thats a sign of old and crickety but it sure sounds like it to me.

I NOW HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES 24/7. :( I used to wear glasses for the computer to reduce the headaches and the squinting and the smooshin my nose up to the monitor. A month or two ago I started noticing that I was having to squint to see street signs. Big Ass signs, billboards, whatever were B L U R R Y all of a sudden. So then I went to optometrist in nov and lo! I got a new prescription shock of all shocks. I went to day to get the lenses cut to my current frames (cuz im a cheap ass) and I am now having some issues with these "progressive lenses" Ya. thas right. I got trifocles! No need to be slow about the degrading eyesight, full speed ahead I always say! gah.

Oh yeah, I turn 30 in months. MONTHS! Full Speed Ahead! Yar! (I missed talk like a pirate day, matey.)

On a side note, these progressive lenses are really screwing with me.

and also ... Oi. :(

**Update:
addition to tell tell signs:

1. I see the chiropractor at least once a week. Make no mistake though, I love every second of it. *happy sigh*
2. I'M IN A BOWLING LEAGUE -- that just sounds old don't it? I now own BOWLING SHOES.
3. I recover from hangovers veeeeeeeeeeery slowly now.
4. Going to bed at 11:00 PM is late for me--though it is a common occurrence.
5. Waking up at 8am on saturday morning is also a common occurrence. I go back to sleep though cuz well CUZ I CAN!

Seriously, I feel like im looking through a fishbowl with these glasses. Apparently blinking aides in eyesight focus, because I am finding myself blinkling LOTS this afternoon.

wait, what?

2006-11-28T08:40:00.000-05:00

As far back as I can remember, my mother avoided speaking of anything related to the past at all costs. She's tried different tactics over the years: leaving the room when a story was being told, getting angry when my dad would go "remember that babe?", having a sudden case of amnesia and interrupting the story with "when did that happen!?!", etc. Mostly the getting angry tactic is what resonates in my memory section. I never understood what her problem was with the past. It was a blanket reaction, there was nothing I could pin point as a trigger. It was just the past in general.

Examples

The time my dad shaved his beard, and the dog Ceiba freaked the hell out and my brother, "T", hid under the bed crying because he thought my Dad was a stranger--this was before I was even born, or as my father would say "when you were a twinkle in your mother's eye."

Whenever I bring up our ancestory and like, ya know, where the hell I come from.

Stories of my mother's grandmother, who used to make my Dad homemade tortillas which he would eat with butter, cinnamon and sugar. (btw, you must try it if you have never had it--so good) My father and my great-grandmother would communicate via sign language since my great-grandmother spoke zero english and my father spoke zero spanish.

The time my brother, T, worshipped Evil Knievel and rode his bike up a ramp and did some crazy jump. T is like michael jordan in that when he does something that requires concentration, he sticks his tongue out. So when he hit the ground, he bit his tongue in half. The story goes that just after that happened, the boys got called in for dinner. Pot Roast. Everyone started eating after grace except for T. My father yelled at him to start eating. So T took a bite, and then his eyes welled up with tears. My father, losing his tiny amount of patience, begins yelling at T while at the same time acting concerned--Ya know..."T! WHAT IS WRONG! EAT YOUR FOOD!" T, silent up to this point, begins to sob and opens his mouth and ... out flops his tongue which is hanging on by a ... yeah...eww! and ouchy!

The time T, who wore glasses as a kid, enjoyed sticking his head out the window like dogs like to do. On the ride home from the optometrist, T thought this would be a grand idea and woosh! there went the brand new glasses.

How cute T was when he was a kid and wanted so much to be like his big brothers. W and Bubba would be sitting on the curb next to each other and T would come over and squish himself between the two of them.

The time I wandered off in the grocery store (there was a toy section in our grocery store, there's no resisting that), when I got tired of checking out the toys I figured it was time to start looking for my dad. I walked down the front of the store peering down each aisle looking for him. I found him after a few aisles, he was looking for me also and looking pretty pissed about it. I tried to soften him up by being funny and yelled out "THERE YOU ARE YA BASTARD!" heh.

The time my mother took the boys ice skating and they were skating along holding hands and one of them fell bringing the whole party down. My mom broke her wrist. oopsy :(

How when I started walking I would put my arms out in front of me, elbows bent and wrists limp. Yes. The prissyness began at a very early age it seems.

How W was both my brothers hero. When W got a newspaper route, they wanted to help. There was a prize for getting the most subscriptions. The prize was a day at AstroWorld! So they helped and they won. T was so excited the night before that he made himself sick and couldn't go :(

I've gone off on a tangent again

Anyway, point is anytime ANYTHING from the past came up she would flip out and get really angry.

I have noticed, however, that in recent years it is now my mother who is the one who brings up and tells stories from the *gasp* past.

Take this past holiday trip for example. She brought up someone named "Richard" and told this story about how my grandmother was thawing a turkey out on the counter and he saw the naked bird and flipped out and started crying.

Me: uh. hey mom? Who is Richard?

Mom: Oh. He was my brother. You didnt know him. He died when he was 4.

Me: Wait! You had another brother! What did he die of?

Mom: Yeah. His name was Richard he was younger than Rachel but older than Jerry, he died of Leukemia.

Is it just weird only to find out about additional siblings of your parents when you are almost 30 or is it just me?

oh and!

Apparently I am not Spanish from Spain! No! Im Mexican from Mexico!

I dunno why but that really stunned me.

Wonder what other little nuggets I will learn as time goes on...

I joined the wrong damn competition!

2006-11-14T09:36:00.000-05:00

again with the last to know crap...

but uh! Had I known! I would have totally participated! Totally.

What the hell am I talking about, you ask?

NaDruWiNi! It is even fun to say.

oh, sorry, its NaDruWriNi ... i like to say it "NayDrewWeeeKneeee" anyway, cuz it's the little things that make me happy

Perhaps I will have a make-up night this next weekend. We have lots of leftover liquor from the Outer Banks!

hmmm... anyone interested *nudge nudge*

le sigh.

2006-11-13T09:19:00.000-05:00

I remember when I first heard the buzz about blogs.

I sorta dismissed it and said "*snobbby sigh* God! People have tooooo much time on their hands!"

and then multiple friends of mine started their own blogs, to which I said "gah! my life is too boring. what the hell would I write about?!!?!"

so thats my excuse for failing NaBloPoMo, my life is boring. I feel it is important to post something vaguely interesting (like this little morsel right here...heh), instead of a run-down of the boring things like:

"today I worked, then I came home and made dinner, then cleaned up and watched some tv, then ironed my clothes then went to bed. the end."

cuz my days are really like that but! theres always something funny about something that happens. and I wait for those pieces to rear their funny heads.

but you see, this process can't be rushed. no no! it's like a fine wine and...

aw ok fine, i give. I suck at NaBloPoMo *sob*

you still love me though, right? RIGHT?!?!

*sniff*

Day 9: She finally comes to her senses...

2006-11-09T08:20:00.000-05:00

Lord knows I am not talking about me here.

I am, however, talking about the Britster!

We are so close see, I can call her that.

No, really.

Anyway! Ha! She finally saw the Big Bright Flashing "L" smacked on Federline's head and is filing for divorce!

MSN SAID SO IT MUST BE TRUE!

I get the feeling this is old news, I somehow only just found out though. *sigh* Always the last to know.

Day 8: Bowling Thumb

2006-11-08T09:11:00.000-05:00

what? Don't look at me like that. I already missed a day before, I failed at NaBloPoMo *hangs head*.

I am honestly still trying though. really.

Yes, I am aware that I did not post yesterday too. Stop being a tattletale.

Anyway.

So I joined a bowling league! First game/meet-up/match/whatever you wanna call it was last night.

I must tell you that I am the epitomy of perfect bowling form and motion. really. REALLY! OK so I'm not. at.all.

I bowl sorta uh backwards. First, I am a "righty" but I do everything else with my left. This includes bowling.

Second, Ya know how bowlers sorta have the ball like in the palm of their hand and the ball is facing the ceiling and they throw it with so much grace and end it with a bend back-kick type movement?

here's how i do it:

I grab the ball and step up to platform. With appropriate fingers in appropriate holes I hold the ball close to my chin, "visualizing my move." With my other hand, I lovingly cup the ball (dude, 8 lbs is heavy! Shutup, yes i said EIGHT pounds.)

Then I make sure bowlers on either side of me are not preparing to also bowl cuz! Bowling etiquette hello!

and the "walk" begins. This is basically me dropping the ball to my side, walking up to the lane

at the last minute I go hey! I should swing! so I swing my arm. Note: my palm is facing the back of the room and the ball is facing the ground (hello. backwards)

then i let'er go. due to backwards-ness of the form, the ball has this backwards rotation on it and seems to slow.down. as it gets to the pins.

last night I noticed that I added this sorta kicking out of my back leg, like straight behind me, superman style. sweeeet. i am graceful.

*bow* its pure genius no?

My average you ask? Well you know it was the first game, establishing handicaps and all and uhh *cough*85*cough*

yeah i suck. whatever. as if you expected anything less ;)

I also have bowling thumb. In which the inside of my thumb is all tender and overly warm and sore and sorta hurts slightly when I bend it.

God, I am such a princess. "ohh my thumb hurts! *pout* wahhhh!"

Day 6: Damn You Carlos! shakes fist

2006-11-06T08:57:00.000-05:00

Before you go all "oohhhh she didnt post yesterday, ohmmm I'm telling.."

First, who ya gonna tell? WHO!?

Second, OMG! It wasn't my fault!

As you may have noticed, I have been posting in the evening time cuz well--IM DRAWING A FRIGGIN BLANK. *sob* the pressure of posting every day is really getting to me. It has to be a good post! a funny post! a meaningful post!

then I realized, why start now with the good/funny/meaningful shit?

So ok, I have been spending lots of time in bed due to this lovely cold/whatever I have. Which, this is also an excuse I have been using.

This, however, is not my current point!

I'm getting to it, shut-up.

So yesterday, we went to breakfast, I did some laundry and cleaned the kitchen cuz God forbid people help out other people when they arent feeling good (OEIFWE)*(R#)*($)#(*$#@$)(@#*$)--ahem, anyway.

Watched the Redskins win a game!

And then a little bit later, we get ready to leave cuz! It's time for Carlos Mencia at the Warner Theatre! As we are driving off to dc, it occurred to me that I hadn't yet posted for the day.

Me: oh no! I haven't posted yet for today!
Me: I want to say this outloud but I know the bf will make fun of me!
Me: okokokok, this thing is at 9, so we should totally be back by 11! definitely 11! I can post then! It'll be fineeeeeee.

We got back at 12:45AM.

damnit.

and I blame Carlos cuz

last time we checked the time it was 9:32 and the thing had.not.started.yet

he had like 23904850395 people come on before him, which made me giggle a little. ya know the van with a million latinos? This is what I am envisioning the "Punisher Tour" is like.

he was funny! so we stayed til the very end! the nerve of him!

i'm old--alright that's not his fault. *sigh*

Can I get a by?

What about a "do-overs"?

no?

hmph.

Day 4: I have a doctor's note...

2006-11-04T22:29:00.000-05:00

I've got a cold. and this is my excuse for the worst posts in NaBloPoMo-dome. But god, who can think with this pressure on my face?

Watch this while I go NyQuil up.

sank you bery much

Day 3: Slumber Party's in San Antonio

2006-11-03T20:46:00.000-05:00

This whole halloween thing has me thinking back to slumber party's I attended as a weee lass (just follow me here). Yeah there was some of the putting the bra in the freezer or putting a sleeping hand into warm water (you know what i mean, sleeping person's hand in the... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). But either my friends were evil or we just enjoyed scaring the hell out of each other cuz there are a number of things I recall being staples in our slumber party's...

Calling the Donkey Lady: Yeah, wtf? Hear me out. So there's this number you can call--or was--in which the Donkey Lady (half donkey, half lady, of course) would answer and you could hear her hooves galloping along and they'd get faster and louder and OMG HANG UP THE PHONE BEFORE SHE GETS YOU!!!! The idea was that if you stayed on the phone long enough, you would turn around and BAM! Donkey lady right behind you. I know, stupid right? Tell that to a 12 year old (or the biggest chicken in the world, me).

Doing Bloody Mary in the bathroom: You know the one. No? How about just the girls? Seriously? Well anyway, SUPPOSEDLY if you go into a bathroom and turn off the lights and flick water at the mirror and chant "Bloody Mary" three times, you turn on the light and the water is red (aka OMG! BLOOD!) or she ends up behind you (wtf is it with the behind you stuff anyway?) Yours truly would run the hell out of the bathroom when the second "bloody mary" was said. *bow* thankyouverymuch

Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board: so somebody lays on the floor, everyone kneels down around the person and puts two fingers of each hand under the persons body, think girl scouts honor style--only palms up. THEN you shhhhhhhsshshshsh everyone cuz OMG SO FUNNY!!?!?!and then you close your eyes and concentrate cuz THIS IS SERIOUS PEOPLE. Then you chant "light as a feather, stiff as a board" over and over again and the person is supposed to levitate. Never worked for us though. well not really. we would, however, screw with somebody and go "OMG SHE IS OFF THE GROUND" and they would scream and pull her hands back and we'd laugh and laugh. *sigh* oh. where was i?

Quarters! So apparently, the drinking behavior started early with us BUT! we played quarters! with shots of water! WE ARE BRILLIANT. DIDJA KNOW IF YOU CONSUME TOO MUCH WATER YOU THROW UP?!?!?! Not...that I know first-hand or anything *cough*

thats all I remember right now but...kinda f'ed up no? whatever happened to like painting nails and doing makeup and playing dress up!

or like! Barbies!

sheesh.

btw, talking about Bloody Mary and the Donkey Lady did NOT make the hairs on my arms stand on end or cause me to go "WTF WAS THAT" when the cat jumped off the bed.

Nope. not at all.

Day 2: doh

2006-11-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

yes im cheating already.

shut-up i have a cold and the mind is all foggy with the like...

cold stuff.

nighty night.

Day 1: While we are on the subject of scary...

2006-11-01T21:53:00.000-05:00

The first time I remember ever being scared while watching something, it was this on mtv...

See...the chicken runs deep in me. My brother even had me watch the making of the thriller video--also on mtv--which didnt help, though I totally told him it did.

Creepy dead people! eeps!

What he shoulda done is shown me this:

not so scary anymore, huh.

and p.s. W.T.F.