Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hi.

I've been trying to live out in the real world more and not hide behind my laptop lately. With these random spurts of energy I keep having (YAYYYYYYYYYY IRON I <3 YOU!!), who has time to sit around and stare at the wall?

I'm kidding. I still have plenty of occasions to stare at the wall. Baby steps, people.

Mostly the problem is that I have all these cool (ya know, cool to me) ideas for hysterical, genius (hysterical, genius--to me) postings. And then I get to my laptop and prepare to type and I...

All together now!

DRAW A BLANK!

Who knew how genius that blog title was? Total accident. I couldn't think of anything else. Just like me naming my Guitar Hero Band "Flip Flop" cuz I couldn't think of anything else (I'm starting to see a theme here) and then spotted the FLIP FLOP ON MY FOOT.

Its staggering, how brilliant I am. I know.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

In search of new eyes...

So a couple of days ago, I went to get my eyeballs looked at because it's starting to worry me a little *cough* that when I try to look at the time on the microwave when I am standing in the living room, it's a green blur. It didn't used to be a green blur. In fact. I remember actual numbers. Yet, even when I squint, I still can't see it. :(

ORRRRRR say if I am playing rockband. I have to wear my glasses to read the lyrics. That's not very rock 'n roll. :(

ORRRRRRRRr say driving. If I wanna see a road sign before I'm up on it, my glasses better be on my face or I could possibly run right into the end of a street before realizing what's going on. I kid. I kid. But the exit signs are blurry until I'm right on 'em. HEY! Maybe that's why I missed my exit home that one time!

ORrrrrr.. well I could go on. Point is: far away? Tricia no see.

Anyway so at Optometrist appointment and I get past the glaucoma test finally. Here's the thing about that. I can touch my own eyeball. But if I'm trying to put drops in, or if someone else is trying to? Heh. Good luck mister. And it's apparently hard to shoot a puff of air into someone's eye when it's fluttering like a hummingbird. Who knew?

Moving along...

So we're doing the whole "1 better, or 2? 3 better or 4?" and she keeps going "that's so strange!!" And then she says "I think you have a lazy eye!"

She sounds so excited about it, too. And, I dunno, call me crazy. But Lazy Eye is not something I would be getting excited about. My definition of "lazy eye" is when one eye is looking forward and the other is all "dude, check this over here on the left!" Apparently, that's not the only definition of a lazy eye. She says I have the type wherein it cant be corrected with lenses. Then she goes on to tell me that my current prescription is basically a piece of glass in my left, lazy eye, and an actual prescription in the right. And that the reason why my eyesight is getting worse is because my right eye is working overtime trying to help out the gimpy left one.

She didn't say gimpy, I just added it for comedic effect. Did it work?

So if I am understanding this correctly, I could walk around with one spectacle like the Monopoly dude and have the same affect (jesus WHICH IS IT? affect? effect?) as the dual spectacles I presently own?

Sidenote: The only picture I could find of the Monopoly Man with said singular spectacle is here and it doesn't even look like the real dude anyway. Why do I remember this guy having a single spectacle? Maybe it was years ago and I am showing my age?

Anyway, not the point.

So later on, after she dialates my eyes to check for disease in said lazy eye, (Which btw, thanks for that. I'm now a vampire. Noooooooooooo the sun!! It's so bright!!! Im meltingggggg!!!!) I'm waiting for a friend to meet me for dinner to put off the driving home with that blinding day star in my face. So, to kill some time, I call my parents and tell them the news, they reply with AND I QUOTE:

"Oh yeah, you've had that since you were a kid!"

...

1. So why have I not had glasses all my life?
2. WTF. These are things you tell your child people. Seriously.

P.S. No more doctors. My body is crap. I GET IT.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Where Mah Hairz At?!

Those of you who know me, know that I am fairly self-conscious (ahem) of the fact that my hair is thinning in the front of my head. The neuroses is (are?) mostly due to my mom forcibly pounding the front of her head with her forefinger and saying "Trishy! Your bald spot is showing!" Right there in the middle of dinner for my entire family to hear. At which point everyone's eyes focus squarely on my forehead.

I love her so.

And I know, I know. It's lame to blame things on your parents. But seriously? When the Woman is out in public with me and does the stomping on her head with her forefinger thing and talks through her teeth at me, after a while, a girl becomes really self-conscious.

But lately, I've been noticing it like a lot all on my own. The finger stomping is now in another state, so there's no one else to call it out to me. Except the mirrors. Sweet jesus, the mirrors! I see it all.the.time.now. So I talked to my hair stylist and she recommended I go see a dermatologist. I've gone to dermatologists before, and all they do is look at my scalp and go "hmm yeah looks like female something or other sucks to be you-itis" Whatever the word is for female genetic hair loss. I forget.

Here's the thing though. No woman in my family is losing their hair and the female elders of the family still have full heads of hair. Sure, on some its thin, but it's not like you can see their scalp or anything. The men are, however, a completely different story. I've heard it both ways. It comes from your dad's side. It comes from your mom's side. Blah Blah.

Point is: Females. Either Side. Full heads of hair!

So I thought I'd give it another go. So there I was. Sitting in the exam room I was. Thinking about just exactly I wanted to tell her, and oh! dont forget to tell her [whatever]!

BTW, I obsess. (surprise!) I obsess about making sure I tell the doctor everything. I invariably forget something. I've even started writing things down now so that I will remember. Hello, neuroticville, table for 1.

So this time I was writing on my iPhone on my little "notes" app. Think notepad only apple-ified, and thus WAY COOLER. NO! WAY COOLER I SAID! She walks in, and I drop the phone in my purse. And then immediately go blank.

She introduces herself and we shake hands, "So what can I help you with today"

I think for a moment ("durrrr..."), and then reach for my phone, the hamsters awake and I go (ding!) "Oh yeah, my hair is thinning in the front"

Anyway. This story is getting far longer than necessary.

So she made me go get bloodwork after the appointment. Her office called me this morning.

Guess who's anemic. Anemia, that which could lead to hair loss, fatigue, weight gain (caused by aforementioned fatigue), etc.

CHECK, CHECK, AND FRIGGIN CHECK!

I swear to god, I've had bloodwork done before. Nobody mentioned anemia. Ever.

So I ran out to the store after work to get me some Iron, Vitamin C (better absorption of Iron), and Fiber supplements (cuz taking iron makes your bowels all none worky. oh fun)! Yay pills! Pills to fix me! Wheeee Pills!

And hey! NOW I KNOW WHY IM SO DAMN COLD ALL THE TIME!

I hope this works. I could use more hair on my head, more energy and a little less girth around the mid-section, thats fo sho!