Disorientation

I went to the grocery store after work and the chiropractor--and p.s.? I LOVE THE CHIROPRACTOR MAN. LOVE! DID I SAY LOVE YET? CUZ. LOVE! Totally.

oh. hi. where was i?

right. grocery store.

So, I walk in and grab the little red riding hood basket...

what? It totally looks like what I would imagine red riding hood carrying. Think about it. Doesn't it? Alright, shutup. This is how my mind works, dont look at me like that.

Annnnnnyway, so I step through the automatic doors and the familiar scent of baked goods and linoleum waft by the ol nose (btw, I'm totally smelling random things lately. must be the WHOLE MONTH AND ONE DAY OF NOT SMOKING. YES. I SAID A WHOLE MONTH AND ONE DAY *bow*).

crap. i keep getting distracted.

So, I'm walking along and notice that my footsteps sound different. They sounded sorta hollow and deep and it felt kinda--yes, eventhough I was wearing shoes--softer.

anyway so im thinking "hmm, wtf"

so I look down.

cuz it only makes sense, no?

and holy hell! theres wood on the floors now! and i look up and hey! the walls look differe..hey! the produce area looks all farmers marketish...hey! what the hell!

and then i realize that

a. man for being a person who is so detail oriented at work (alright well I think so) I certainly am oblivious to obvious shit

and b. holy crap! they are remodeling!

cuz im smart like that.

so I remember that I have a mission and proceed to add things to the red riding hood basket that I need and ...

im all...

HEY WHERE THE HELL IS EVERTHING!

Theres these metal racks in front of the regular shelves (which are empty, btw) with the food. Only, its all in the wrong aisles.

OH SONOFA! IM GONNA HAVE TO RE-LEARN THIS STORE!

I just got this crap down too. damnit.

and I start to notice that every other customer I walk by also has this "wtf?" look on their face. I walked by this chick that had this look and I said "any idea where the rice is?!?!"

and she hahaha'd and said "not a clue."

So I continue to walk around going "WHERE THE FUCK IS THE RICE!?!?!"

I pass the chick again. She says "find it?"

me: "*sigh* No!"

just then an employee walks by and THE CHICK asks "excuse me, where is the rice?"

the employee, outfitted with the same "WTF!?!" look on her face as everybody else goes "uhhh" and proceeds to look at the aisle signs. She walks back and forth between a few aisles with me following behind her, listening to her go "I dunno why they moved everything and didnt bother providing any goddamn maps!"

THE CHICK appears again from some other aisle and goes "found it!"

I say "Oh, the cereal aisle! That makes perfect sense!"

and btw, whats with the nice chick? am I not in NOVA?!?! Home of the sneer and the stare right through you and the DONT YOU KNOW IM IN A FUCKING HURRY! MOVE YOUR ASS CUZ IM MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU AND MAKE IT SNAPPY DAMNIT?!?!

was a nice change i must say ;)

the chip aisle! in the middle of the store! not the far left! What will I do! *sob* I DONT KNOW WHERE SHIT IS!

pah. I didnt even go look to see whats at the far left. it was too much for me to handle.

I thought it was strange that the parking lot was basically empty at 6pm on weekday, and now I know why. CUZ YA CANT FIND NOTHIN!

luckily, im a fairly smart girl and found what I needed (but gah! just barely!)

The really sad part of this whole thing is the fact that the grocery store remodeling is affecting me this much.

jesus.

So umm... WTF?!?!

I leave pretty hot weather with sun and random rain storms for a week to go to the beach with fairly warm temperatures, the occasional appearance of the sun, and full on blissful relaxation.

I come back to crisp air, lows in the 40s, chilly mornings and the faintest scent of fall wafting by my nose...

Im sorry. Did I miss something? How can it be fall already?

Im seeing signs that Halloween is just on the horizon. (I also have yet to go into a store since my return, so it is not in my face). And obviously, Im completely ignoring the little Halloween carnival already in appearance at the nursery by my house. SLOW YOUR ROLL PEOPLE, IT ISN'T OCTOBER YET! DAMNIT!

My parents are already talking about Thanksgiving plans...

AND in like 3 days, its officially the last day of summer.

it's just so sad.

I feel like I somehow missed summer all together because I never really felt summer.

You know how summer feels....

hot, sweaty, lazy, mosquitoes, entire days spent at the pool, barbecue, sweet tea, the smell of cocoa butter, sunburn, "WOOOO! It's hot out there! Yeah! It's not the heat that gets you though, its the humidity," lemonade, ice cream, the smell of chlorine, relaxing, no school, carefree, summer evenings when its finally cool enough to sit on the sidewalk without burning your ass, trucker tan (ya know, where your left arm is darker than your right from the right side of your body being exposed to the sun while driving), midnight and its still like 80, freezer pops...

...well I could go on and on...

instead, I spent my summer days in a fucking cold office--though, I am always cold if its below like 75 so that's not a shock--living my own version of The Office, doing like work to make money to responsibly pay my adult bills and buy adult things like, ya know, groceries and kitty litter!

In an odd way, I feel like I just turned around for a second and my youth was secretly replaced with this imposter adulthood. When I turned back around and took my first taste, I scrunched up my nose with the bitterness and went "WTF is this!?!?!"

so so sad.

My summers have been this way for years now, why the sudden feeling of Adulthood?!

ya got me man, in fact its wiggin me out some.

someone hand me a bottle of banana boat before I go mental.

I also dread the end of summer because that means the beginning of fall which means winter is just around the fucking corner, waiting impatiently.

Tapping her icey blue fingers.

Eyeing me with her frigid stare.

I hate that bitch.

omg no seriously! I hate winter. haaaaaaaaaaate.

I hate winter coats, hats, gloves--all of which I avoid wearing at all costs. In fact, two of my coats are still in the closet at work from last friggin winter. I hate driving in ice, snow, sleet. (thank god I don't work for the postal service). I hate being cold. I hate the dry skin. I hate having to layer clothes cuz one friggin layer is never enough. Thermal Underwear!?!? omg don't get me started.

heh I act like I live in friggin Fargo, North Dakota or something (eh?!)

bah. I need to fly south for the winter. Who's with me!

Summer! Come back! I miss you already!

What I Did On Summer Vacation By Tricia

"Them bikes be like 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'""the pool isnt so bad once your legs go numb""wheres the gas grill? all i see is this park grill piece of crap???""holy shit look at that spider!""I have sand everywhere. *wipes sand on K's arm*. Sand from my ass. you are welcome." "hey look! the sun is out! oh wait...nevermind" "sound good cause they free....shewt" "jerry is back on dish duty tomorrow" "We are sooooo gonna regret this tomorrow *giggle and clink shot glasses* HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYWAY!" "is Erin alive? Yeah I texted her twice earlier she is alive. hahah you texted her?!?!" "so what did you drink? Lemon drops. Amateur. $150 of lemon drops. Holy shit! That's like professional." "I wonder what the kitties are doing right now? Plotting our demise, probably" "Thats from just today in the sun? Yeah. I hate you. I really hate you." "HOW MUCH FOOD DID YOU GUYS BUY ANYWAY!" "FOOZBALL IS THE DEVIL" "WE NEE MO WAX!" "Is the pool warm? Uh *shiver* no" "We are out of beer. WHAT!?! We are out of beer. How the hell?!!? What I meant to say was, we are out of beer." "Holy shit check out the ceiling. eww" "I think maybe next time, you should think about a bigger truck" "YOU DIDNT SAY LAST CARD!!!!! Yes I did! Oh. Damnit." "Theres images flying around in my head that I really didnt need" "damn dude, your burps are awful" "That's a lot of cake. Yeah umm. apparently 1/2 a sheet is smaller in my head" "Yeah, Shewt"

I don't know what I've been told...

Skinny Tricia's got a lot of soul!

SO! I FOUND! AN OUTSIDE BOOTCAMP CLASS! IN MY AREA!

It's Monday/Wednesday/Friday at 7pm just down the street from my house.

I'm so excited! I think I just peed a little!

$5-$8/session which is roughly $65/month

hi. one personal trainer session for one hour was gonna be $60.

lsdkjfslkfjsldkfjsdlfkjSQWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

AND AND AND YOU GET THE FIRST WEEK FOR FREE.

Class starts first Monday of Oktober. Yes, I said oKtober. Hey Look! I'm German!

So, who's down for it. CMON! You know you wanna! Cluss? Harm? Erin? Karri? BF? *taps foot*

Of course, I am already apprehensive about a couple of things:

1. I can't run to save my life. No really, if someone was chasing me, it wouldn't be that hard to catch up. heck they'd prolly run right past me


2. the idea of a "bootcamp" workout scares the crap out of me. Army visions are flooding my head. "Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?" "To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant!" (see! There's a forrest gump quote for every occasion! believe me now?)


3. omg. running. ick

I'm sure more will come to me.

My god I am excited. lasdkjflsdkfjsldf

P.S. The title reminds me of a cheer from my high school. heh. ya ready? (ok!)

I DONT KNOW WHAT IVE BEEN TOLD
i dont know what ive been told

CLARK COUGARS GOTTA ALOTTA SOUL
clark cougars gotta alotta soul

WE GOTTA TEAM THATS GO GO GO
we gotta team thats go go go

WE ARE THE BEST AND YOU SHOULD KNOW
we are the best and you should know

BOM BOM CHICKAMOM BOM *clap*
BOM BOM CHICAMOM BOM HEEEEEEEY *clap*
BOM BOM CHICKAMOM BOM *clap*
BOM BOM CHICAMOM BOM HEEEEEEEY *clap*
BOM!

i crack myself up.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Well obviously, I had to take that shit down.

Theres honest and then theres ballsOutYouShouldntBePuttingThatShitOutForAllTheWorldToSeeYou
HormonalFemale honest.

heh, sorry if you missed it ;)

anyway...

two days til vacation *hop*-didnt even need my fingers to figure that one out.

still not smoking *hop*

(to those who had the pleasure of reading that other post before i deleted...it's like jekyll and hyde, no? Welcome to my world, kids.)

still not sleeping very well.

hmm... how about a list!

Things I am looking forward to on vacation:

1. Being with BF sans laptop-- HA HA I make myself laugh. I still have hope he wont bring it though.


2. Lazy days on beach or poolside talking about everything and nothing with my girls ;)


3. Sunburn. I DONT CARE THAT THERES A TROPICAL DEPRESSION currently plotting its ruining of my vacation in the atlantic ocean! I AM GOING TO GET A SUNBURN DAMNIT *stomp*


4. Sweet sweet notHavingAnythingToDoGoodness


5. Not working for 6 Business Days *happy sigh


6. Not having to wear pantyhose for said 6 Business Days--yeah whatever, I don't usually wear pantyhose anyway. Details..details..


7. Grilled food every single night. Love grilled food


8. beer!


9. Wardrobe consisting of: shorts, tshirts, bathing suit. sweet.


10. omg did i say no working for 6 business days?!?! woohoo